A/N: Please note this book is rated MATURE for a reason. Language, violence, and EXPLICIT sexual content. You have been warned. There will be no further warnings from this point on so enjoy the ride!
Y/N POV:
"Shit! Shit! Oh god. I'm not ready for this! Shit! Shit!" I paced back and forth in the staff lounge at the hospital, phone in hand, the message from Kim Namjoon open. Apparently after the Grammys tomorrow night, the group had a couple of free days. How did Namjoon want to spend it? With me! He wanted to fly here and meet me. In person. Was this really happening? Am I really going to meet my soulmate? What is he going to say when he learns he's not the only one? What am I going to do?
Not responding to the message, I stuck my phone in the pocket of my scrubs, running my hand over my face. I wanted so badly to respond and tell him yes immediately, but I was scared shitless. What if everything went completely wrong? What if he didn't like me? What if he didn't want me once he realized he wasn't the only one? Would he reject me? Would I even get a chance with him? I slumped down in a chair at the table, throwing a hand over my face. What do I say? How do I make this work?
"You okay amiga?" Arely's voice was soft and her hand gentle as she peeled my arm from my face. Her dark eyes were filled with concern and her silky ponytail hung over her shoulder, the ends brushing against my cheek. I swatted it out of the way and sat up. Handing her my phone, I said nothing, just waited for her reaction.
Closing my eyes tightly, I leaned my head forward on the table. I knew Arely was going to tell me to message him right away, to agree to meet him, but I was scared. Too scared to figure out what to do.
"Amiga? Whatcha gonna do? Do you want to meet him?" I looked up at Arely's voice. Gone was the usual humor and sarcasm. In their place was a kindness and tenderness she only ever used around pediatric patients. "It sure sounds like he wants to meet you especially if he's willing to fly all the way here."
I shrugged my shoulders, not sure how to respond. "I want... I want to meet him, but how... how do I tell him that I am soulmates with two of his other members? What is going to happen? Am I going to lose them all before I even really get them?" I finally voiced the fear, the one that had been lingering in my mind, clinging to my brain like a leech, sucking out any positive thoughts I may have been harboring and filling my head with negativity and pessimism.
"Oh carina. It's going to be okay." Arely moved to kneel in front of me and took my hands. "Kim Namjoon? He loves his members so it is going to be okay. He will be okay knowing that you are soulmates with three of them. Hey. You might even get in on some NamYoonMin action." Arely winked at me and I rolled my eyes at her, shoving her over.
"You're terrible. Why are you my friend?" Although she was sometimes outrageous, this moment right here is exactly why Arely was my best friend. She was my sounding board and the one to knock some sense into me when I needed it the most.
Arely stood, brushing off the seat of her scrubs and sending me a mock glare. "Do you know how many ARMYs would kill to be in your position right now? You're soulmates with three of the hottest men on the planet. You're going to be able to kiss them, touch them, see them in all their hot as hell naked glory and fuck that same hot as hell naked glory."
I couldn't help but blush at Arely's words. I hadn't even met my soulmates yet and Arely's already has me stripping them down and climbing on their cocks. "Oh my god. Stop!"
Arely laughed then pinched my cheek. "Oh silly girl. Why you blush like a virgin? You've been dicked down before! Now it's just going to be with some exceptionally hot men!" Scrolling her phone, Arely showed me a picture of a sexy man in a black shirt that was lifted up, showing his beautifully toned stomach, a tattoo that read NEVERMIND scrawled across his ribs, and wait... was that a nipple piercing?
"Holy fuck! Who is that?" I knew it was one of my soulmates, but I couldn't tell whom. From the slender frame I could only guess that it might be the one with the dark red hair.
"That, mi amor, is Park Jimin. One of your soulmates." Arely turned the phone back to face her, her tongue darting out and wetting her lips. "And he is definitely a snack!"
A tiny part of me felt a little envious that my best friend knew more about my soulmates than I did, was able to identify them by their lips, their hands, their legs, while I had a hard time identifying theme when they had different hair colors. I pushed the thought away knowing that she had been following them for a long time, almost ten years. She had explained once that she had been a fan since they debuted in 2013 and now ten years later, she knew the ins and outs of them, along with their millions of fans around the globe. Hearing all the stories about them made me really want to get to know my soulmates.
Arely put her hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm not going to steal your soulmate. I'm... I'm still hoping to find my own." Arely's eyes were sad and I felt guilty for having three soulmates when my best friend was still hoping for hers.
Not knowing what to say, I hugged my friend, trying to lend her comfort in anyway I could, knowing it would be hard no matter what. "Want to help me send a text? Since you're so much better with words than me anyways?"
"Sure." Arely's face brightened and I handed her my phone. "Hmm... you do want to meet them, yes?" I nodded and Arely tapped her finger against her chin. "Let's start there then. Namjoon wants to come here then let's agree to that."
With a couple of quick taps, the message was sent and I was helpless to stop the wave of nervousness that crashed over me. What would he think? Did the message sound too excited? Not excited enough?
"Stop overthinking carina." Arely squeezed my hand and I took a deep breath. "Since we have the morning shift tomorrow, how about I come over? We can watch the Grammy's together and you can drool over your soulmates. I'll even bring tamales. My mama is visiting and she made some yesterday."
My mouth started to water at her words. Other than tacos from Arely's 85-year-old Prince Charming, her mother's tamales were my favorite food. They were always so good. "Sounds good to me."
Arely nodded then stood, checking her phone for the time. "Alright perfect, but come on amiga. We have patients to get to."
Knowing Arely was right, I stood then stuck my phone in the pocket of my scrubs, attempting to leave my thoughts of my soulmates behind as we headed out into the emergency room, ready to face whatever mess we knew was coming our way.
***
Several hours later, I stumbled tiredly through the front door of my apartment. Freyja greeted me at the door, tiny meows filling the room as she wound around my ankles. "Hello Freyja. How are you my little love?" I bent down and rubbed her fuzzy ears then made my way into the kitchen. I grabbed the kibble and filled her bowl, grinning when she dove into the bowl, pellets of food scattering across the floor. She had been underweight when I found her, but she was now starting to fill out properly. Her coat was sleek and shiny and I adored her.
Leaving my hungry kitten in the kitchen, I went into my bedroom, eager to take a shower and get out of my scrubs. I plugged my now dead cell phone into the charger then went into the bathroom. I started the shower then stripped out my scrubs, letting out a sigh of relief when I stepped in the shower and the hot water cascaded over me. I love my job, but on days like today, I was more than happy to be home.
After our break, the emergency room was nonstop. Several car accidents, a fight between two moms at a beauty pageant that ended in a dislocated shoulder on one and twenty-two stitches on the other, and a dumb drunk college kid who had tried back flipping off the roof of his frat house into a swimming pool. Lucky for him, his worst injury was a broken tibia. It could have ended with a broken neck. Yeah. It definitely was a hell of a night.
Finishing my shower, I pulled the towel off the rack and stepped out, shivering at the sudden rush of chilly air. Although it was already the end of April, the nights could still be on the cool side. I had turned off the heat before I left for work since the temperature was in the seventies, but now I was second-guessing that decision. I hurried into my bedroom and pulled out a pair of fuzzy pants and a long sleeve shirt, too chilly for my usual thin pajamas.
A ding from my phone caught my attention and I grinned, knowing it was probably Arely sending me another photo of my soulmates. She was insistent on making sure I had enough, even organizing them into folders on my phone. I mean, who even does that? Picking up the phone, I almost dropped it again when I saw the name: Namjoon. Oh shit!
Taking a deep breath, I opened the message, my heart almost stopping at his sweet words.
But what did he mean by we? Was I meeting all of the members at once? What would he say when he realized Yoongi and Jimin were my soulmates too? There would be no way of keeping it from them once I was with the three of them. How do... how do I handle that?
Setting the phone back down, I ran a hand over my face. I was so excited to meet them, but what if I lost them before I even really got a chance to know them? What would I do then? Sighing, I turned off the lights and climbed into bed. Arely and I had to be back at the hospital at 8, only working an eight hour shift this time, as compared to twelve. Knowing I needed the sleep, I tried to push my soulmates from my mind, hoping that things would work out for the best. At least I would have to try.
Yoongi POV:
"How does this look?" Jimin straightened his tie, looking at me in the mirror. "Does it look okay? How about my hair? Does it look dumb like this?" Jimin brushed his hand over his hair that was gelled and pushed back, bringing back a hairstyle from a concert in 2020, one the women had gone crazy for. "Does it look good? Do you like it?"
I put a hand on Jimin's shoulder and pulled his own hand away from his hair. "Calm down Jimin-ah. It looks good. You look good." I hesitated before speaking again, asking a question I already knew the answer to. "Why are you so nervous today? We've done a ton of award shows, a ton of performances. This is nothing new."
Jimin gave me a small smile before going back to adjusting his tie again. "Because... what... what if our soulmate is watching? What if she sees me and I look dumb and she decides she doesn't want me? What if she doesn't like my hair? Or the song? Or my dancing? What if she doesn't like me?"
Hearing the uncertainty in his voice broke my heart a little, making me feel a rush of pity for my younger member. Self-esteem was always something Jimin struggled with, starting from his debut year and it was something I hated to see. "It's alright Jimin-ah. She is going to love you. If she doesn't then she's not worth it and you will find someone who does." I knew the words were easier said than done and the thought of my soulmate not wanting me threatened to destroy me, but I wanted to give him something to hold on to, something that would hopefully make him feel better, something that would give him hope. "But don't think about that. She is going to love you."
I could see the stiffness fade from his shoulders and the anxiety that came from him in waves start to dissipate. "I... I just want her to like me, to love me. How is it I'm so... obsessed with someone and I've never even met them, talked to them? How is it I want her so badly and I've only seen things through her eyes? You at least got to speak to her."
Knowing exactly what he was feeling, I squeezed his shoulder, trying to lend him some semblance of comfort. "Y/N is your soulmate. You're going to naturally be drawn to her, feel that connection, feel that pull. It's inevitable." I wanted to reassure him that Y/N was sweet, kind, caring, things I could tell just from short conversations with her in my dreams, but I knew until he met her himself, it would just be words, words that sounded nice, words that were meant to be soothing and helpful, but words just the same.
"Thanks hyung. I..." Jimin's words trailed off and I knew that he needed time, time to process, time to think. I hated leaving him and letting him get lost in his thoughts, but I also knew him. I knew there were some things that I couldn't help him through and his thoughts would be one of them. He would have to work through those himself, find that confidence that his soulmate would want him, desire him, love him. I wished I could do it, but it was hard to reassure someone else when the same worries constantly ran through my mind. What if she didn't like me? What if she liked one of the others more? What would I do? Would I be able to let her go? The uncertainty of it all scared me.
Looking in the mirror, I adjusted my own tie than ran a hand through my hair. The stylists had chosen nice suits for us this time around instead of something completely weird and I was pleased with the outcome. Some of the stuff they put us in was a little outrageous and I wasn't sure how I felt about it all. I knew there were the clothes from the companies that we worked with, but I hated to admit that some of it was just odd looking. Most of the time, I preferred simple styles, stuff that made me look good, but stuff I still felt comfortable in.
"Alright. It's time." Namjoon's voice broke through my thoughts and I turned to see him standing behind us. It was time for us to leave the hotel, do the customary red carpet entrance on the way to the show.
I hoped that Y/N was watching the show, watching to see us. It made me wonder how she felt knowing she had at least two soulmates. I didn't know if she knew about Jimin and Jungkook or about Hoseok and Taehyung, but it was clear she knew about Namjoon and me. Was she nervous? Did she hate the idea? Was she okay with the idea of multiple soulmates? Would she end up rejecting some of us since it might be too much? What would we do?
"Yoongi-hyung?" I looked up to see Namjoon watching me, his eyes worried. "You alright?"
"Yeah. Just nervous about this red carpet thing. There's going to be a lot of cameras." And I don't want my soulmate watching and thinking I look bad.
Namjoon patted my shoulder. "Don't worry too much. You look good. Handsome."
Punching Namjoon's shoulder slightly, I grinned at him. "Aww thanks Joon-ah, but I've got a soulmate."
Namjoon sighed and said nothing, but I could see the tiny smile on his face. With a final shake of his head, he turned and left the room and I followed behind him, ready to get this awkward moment over with.
***
"God I hate reporters and journalists." I couldn't keep the irritation from my voice as we sat down in our seats at the Staples Center. The red carpet moment had been just as painful as I thought it would be. I had foolishly hoped for questions about our music, our latest album, our production process, something. But no. It was the same crap over and over again. Who's your celebrity crush? Are you dating anyone? Are you excited for the wedding? It was frustrating to say the least.
We've been together ten years. You would have thought by now that we would have at least earned some semblance of respect, but no. When the silly reporter asked me if I was dating anyone, I pretended to not know what the question meant and started talking about how excited I was for the performance. I could hear Jimin snickering behind me and I had to try and keep a straight face as I babbled on. Even though my English was much better than I let on, I used the same excuse to pretend I misunderstood. It was the same with everyone who stopped us and by the time we actually made it to our seats, I was tired and the damn thing hadn't even started yet.
"Me too." Taehyung's voice was annoyed as he slipped into the seat next to me, leaning his head back against the cool metal of the folding chair. "Same stupid ass questions every time."
Jin smacked the younger member with his program, his eyes narrowed and a disappointed pout on his face. "Language Taehyung-ah. That's all we need is some nosy reporter recording us and it ending up all over the news."
Knowing Jin was right, Taehyung slumped down a little in his seat. His leg was bouncing up and down in nervousness and after a moment, his nose started to twitch. Leaning over to me, he whispered in my ear. "D-do you smell that? It smells like spicy food, but something I can't identify."
Slyly sniffing the air, not wanting to draw any attention, I shrugged when all I could smell was perfumes and colognes, cloying scents that made my nose itch and my stomach turn. "No."
Taehyung grinned and when he turned to me, I knew exactly what he was thinking. He reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing it in his excitement. "It... it must be my soulmate." Taehyung sniffed again, this time a little more obviously. "It smells so good, but I don't know what it is. She must be eating something."
I couldn't help but smile as I watched Taehyung go through his experience. Besides Jungkook, this was the only one I had seen and it was entertaining to say the least.
After a moment, his smile faded and his nose wrinkled up in disgust. "Okay. That good smell is gone now it smells like too much perfume. Someone sitting near us? Their perfume smells like dirty ass." He flinched when Jin smacked him with the program again. "What? It's true!"
I heard a snort from the other side of Jin and knew Jungkook had overheard Taehyung's remark. Shaking my head, I said nothing and just listened to the whispered conversation between Jin, Jungkook and Taehyung. Both of the younger ones were complaining about the red carpet interviews and I couldn't say I blamed them. Jin was trying to run interference, not wanting anyone to overhear the conversation and I couldn't say I blamed him either. We were already so much on someone's radar, if by chance we were heard insulting an American news reporter, we would never hear the end of it. Our ARMY wouldn't listen to it, but it would still be blasted on every single news channel. They were always looking for something to drag us down. We definitely didn't want to give them more ammunition.
The lights in the room flickered and we knew things were going to begin. When we were first nominated for a Grammy in 2021 for Pop Duo/Group Performance, it took place during the premiere show. There was so much kickback from fans, ARMY included, that the category was moved to the actual show. People insisted that such an important award should be on the main show. The Recording Academy had decided to listen to their fans (for once) and moved the award to the main show.
The host for this year was Jimmy Fallon and the rest of the members and I were thrilled. He was one of our favorite talk show hosts to visit. We used to have a really good relationship with James Corden, but after some comments made shortly after our UN appearance in 2021, the relationship became a little stilted. In a comedy bit, he had insulted both ARMY and us and it wasn't something we wanted to stand for. We still appeared on the show, but it was nothing like it used to be.
The lights dimmed completely and we knew it was time. Usually, I was just hoping to make ARMY proud. It was all we really wanted. This time, however, my mind went to my soulmate, our soulmate. Hopefully this time, we could make her proud.