Y/N's POV:
I could see the tall, grey architecture of the Stark tower as my car pulled up in front of it.
It looked the same as it had before, only a few adjustments to the sign. It was renamed while I was gone no longer the Stark Tower but the Avengers new base.
As I got out of the car I couldn't help but notice the all familiar smell in the air of the city. It's cold out now and winter is coming, I could feel it as the chilled breeze brushed past me.
I pulled my grey cardigan over my shoulders as the driver took my suitcase from the trunk. I didn't bring luggage but someone had packed a bag for me, the dresses in Asgard didn't seem as though they were the proper attire for earth.
I walked over to the front entrance of the tower. Peering into the lobby, staff bustled around the crowded and busy area. I pushed open the doors and stepped inside.
I was knocked off balance by someone, sending the papers they held flying. I quickly turned to them to find him already crouched on the ground attempting to pick them up.
I crouched as well, "I am so sorry, that was completely my fault." I began pilling the few papers left in front of me in a neat pile on my lap.
"No no, that was on me. I shouldn't walk so close to the entrance." he stood, towering over me. A brown curl falling in front of his face as he swept it away and pushed up the circular glasses on the bridge of his nose.
I stood handing the papers to him and sticking out a hand, "Y/N Gray."
"Professor Violet." he replied.
"Nice to meet you, although I hoped the circumstances had been better."
"As do I... I should be going." he said as he turned and walked in the opposite direction of where he'd been headed in the first place.
I nodded to myself and grabbed the handle of my luggage.
"You sure know how to make an entrance." came a voice from behind.
I knew that voice.
I knew that voice very well.
I turned to face him, my hands cupping my mouth in shock.
"Oh my god." I whispered, a choked cry coming from my throat.
He only smiled and opened his arms to me. I didn't waste a second as I practically jumped into them.
His all familiar smell wrapped around me as I breathed him in. I couldn't believe it. It felt surreal to have him standing here after everything that had happened. I squeezed him a little tighter as if afraid he would just disappear.
It was one thing knowing he was back and safe, but to actually be in his presence myself was something completely different. I couldn't hide the smile that bloomed on my face as I stood there, his arms wrapped around me just as tight as if he felt the same.
"I can't believe it's you." he whispered, his voice now hoarse.
My hand made its way to the back of his head pulling him even closer. I couldn't stop myself from shaking as silent tears began to fall down my face. I rested my head in the crook of his neck and could feel his shirt now damp from my tears.
I pulled away, my hands holding his cheeks. I looked at him and smiled. Something inside of me felt at ease, a warmth spilling from my heart that I couldn't contain. I brushed my thumb against the stubble that began to form on his cheeks and placed my forehead against his.
"I'm sorry." he said, "God, I'm so sorry Y/N."
Silence was all I could offer him as I looked up at him. He knew I forgave him even though I didn't voice it. He could see it.
"I don't mean to intrude but I'm pretty sure she's here to see me." I heard Tony say from beside me.
I tilted my head back and laughed, "Hi Tony" I smiled.
"Hey stranger." he smiled, pulling me into a tight embrace.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too kiddo."
He pulled away and looked at me, "Let's head upstairs and get you settled in okay?"
"Okay." I grabbed my suitcase from behind me and pulled it towards the elevator.
It felt good to be back. Standing around the people that made me feel the most at home that I had been in a long time. In Asgard I was a guest, but here I felt like they were all my family.
Tony lead me to the room I had stayed in before and gave me a moment as I turned to open the door.
It looked like no one had stepped inside save for the off chance that someone changed the sheets or vacuumed. I looked to one of the corners, the sticky notes already fallen onto the floor.
I wheeled the suitcase inside and shut the door behind me, not bothering to turn on the lights. The shadows from the windows gave me enough light to make my way around.
I slowly walked to the bed, peeling back the covers as I had time and time again before I left. I slipped into the bed pulling the covers back onto me as I curled my knees to my chest. My breaths came out faster and uneven. It wasn't that the past events in this room haunted me— it wasn't that at all.
I just hadn't been alone in a long time. There always seemed to be a presence around even if I was alone in my rooms a feeling that I knew I wasn't alone, or at least not really. Now that Loki was gone that presence had seemed to leave me, taking a certain piece of me with it.
I felt as though I could call out Loki's name and even if he hated me, even if we had been bickering and arguing all day. Even if we had almost killed each other and walked away to take a break, I felt as though I always knew he would be there. That he could always hear me no matter how far away we were.
I swallowed the lump that began to form in my throat.
He's gone now.
I told myself over and over again because in all seriousness it still didn't feel real. He continuously boasted about how he was a god and how he was undefeated. I didn't know if I would let myself believe that he was gone.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up it was dark out. I rubbed my eyes and pushed my hair out of my face before I sat up in bed. I got out from under the covers and made my way to the sink.
I turned on the faucet and cupped cold water in my hands before splashing it on my face. I placed my hands on either side of the sink, the cold marble sending a chill up my arms.
I stood and stared at myself. My mind was clear, no thoughts and no worries. I looked at the outline of my face, my eyebrows and nose. I looked at every feature that stood out on my face as if centering myself before I left the room.
I walked back out and paused, my hand above the door knob.
You can do it. Just go get a glass of water and come back.
I didn't know why I needed to prep myself before leaving the room. Why I needed to reassure myself that I wouldn't be exposed to people because they were probably asleep by now, but why? Why did I need to reassure myself of that?
You are home. This is home.
I told myself again and again. But was it?
It is.
A voice seemed to say. A voice of conscience I hoped.
I placed my hand against the cool metal and turned, pulling it open.
I walked slowly and quietly to the kitchen, listening for any noise that would mean someone else was up. After realizing I was the only one, I walked across the room to the cabinets. Pulling one open I grabbed a glass and filled it with water.
I turned and surveyed the room, noticing the balcony and feeling as though fresh air would be a good idea.
I stuck a hand out and grabbed the handle pulling it slowly and as quietly as possible. I stepped out, letting the breeze blow my hair out of my face. I walked over to the edge, putting a hand on the railing.
I looked out to the city, watching as the lights of apartments turned out, and the traffic slowing as people made their way home.
I felt him before he said anything. He placed his hands on either side of mine, his chest meeting my back. He placed his head onto my shoulder.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asked.
"No." I said quietly, feeling the warmth from him seep into me. It took almost all my strength not to lean into him.
I felt his breath against my neck with each exhale. I stood there thinking unsure of what to do with myself. If I should turn in his arms or stay standing.
He didn't give me an option as his arms came around me once more and wrapped around my waist. The warmth in my chest began to spread as I felt knots begin to form in my core. A wave of shivers rolled down my body as I became aware of every part of us touching.
My body relaxed in his arms without my control. I let him hold me. It felt wrong to let him do it this soon after Loki's passing, but come to think of it me and Loki hadn't exactly been anything to begin with.
Still, I didn't think I would let it go further then him holding me. Not yet.
It felt good to be held, if felt good to be with him.
"I missed you everyday." he began.
I smiled at that.
He turned me around in his arms, pinning me to the spot against the railing. I kept my head facing to the ground not being able to look at him smiling this hard.
I felt the soft but calloused pads of his fingers as he tilted my head up to face him. Every part of me that he touched set fire as his eyes met mine. I couldn't look away.
"Y/N I have to get this out right now, I don't think I can hold onto it anymore."
"What's it about?" I asked.
"It's about your mom." he began.
I turned away at that my body becoming as taught as a bow string. A stinging sensation forming in my eyes. I blinked it away as he pulled me to face him again. He waited in silence, my eyes not meeting his.
"Hey, hey look at me. It's okay. We don't have to talk about it right now." He pulled me against him in a tight embrace, brushing his hand against my head in continus strokes, "I've got you. You're okay now."
I stayed silent, afraid of what I might say next.
He kissed the side of my head, "I've always got you."
I relaxed again in his arms.
"I know." I replied. But I didn't know.
It felt so easy to lose him. So easy for his mind to be controlled and I know it wasn't his fault, but I couldn't help the feeling of uncertainty that crept inside me.
"We should really get back inside." he said, resting arm on my lower back to guide me back through the sliding doors.
He walked me back to my room not letting go until I was at my door. I opened it and stepped inside.
"Goodnight Y/N."
"Goodnight Bucky." I answered over my shoulder.
I closed the door behind me and walked halfway towards my bed before I hastily turned around.
I ran back to the door and pulled it open.
I could see him at the end of the hall, as he turned back to me, concern plastered on his face.
"What's wrong?" he asked stepping closer to me.
I took a second before speaking, "Can you stay with me tonight?"
He waited a moment, staring at me.
"I'd like that." he replied.
He walked over to me and through the door of my room as I re-shut it once more. I walked in front of him and climbed into bed, he followed behind putting an arm around me.
"Please don't leave." I whispered, placing my head against his chest. His heartbeat a steady sound in my ear.
"I won't."