Everything hurt.
Emrys couldn't explain why that was the case, why he had fled the moment the sword had gone through Arthur's chest. Why he had stayed until the fight was over. He should know better than anyone than to hope things would turn out for the better.
What he was well aware of was the full weight of his failure and the pain that spread through his limbs as a reminder of such. Igraine had asked him to watch over her children. To look out for them. Under his watch, Morgana had disappeared, Morgause had gotten married to someone who she shouldn't have gotten married to and now Arthur had died. Brutally murdered by his son.
Of course, in retrospective, he should have known better than to go around making such promises. But at the time he was desperate, and it's not easy to think things through when someone else was screaming.
Healing was always an option. Unfortunately, the injury had been so straightforward and to the heart. He knew healing those kinds of wounds were near impossible to heal properly.
Everything had gone from bad to worse in less than a year. From the affair being put to light to the whole conflict that ensued as a consequence. He rose as he could from the ground Maybe if he had spoken about it sooner, maybe if he had just done something none of that would have happened.
As pained as he was, he had to return. There were things to be done, funerals to plan, things to figure out.
He had left Morgana behind. On her own. To deal with her brother and her nephew's death. There couldn't be anyone worse than him in the known world. He could die at that very moment. No one would look for him, and it would be for the better. It might even be for the better, he had always known the world would be a better place without him in it.
"Will you quiet down?" a voice spoke to him, they sounded done, like if they had already spoken to him over and over again. "I can hear you screaming all the way down"
Emrys rose his eyes. In front of him stood a woman, long dark hair and pale skin, her feet lingering above the lake. She wore a long, violet dress, different than what he had ever seen anyone wear before.
"I wasn't screaming." He stumbled on his words and his voice came out hoarse. Had he been screaming? He couldn't recall even uttering a sound.
"Whatever I was, I heard it, it was loud, painfully so." She sighed, eyes looking over him in pity. "You're not human, are you?"
Emrys was taken aback at the suddenness of the question. His eyes opened wide for a second and he passed a hand over his throat.
"Does it matter?" he grumbled; the woman sighed.
"I suppose not much, no." she shook her head. "Would you like to come inside?"
"Inside where?" he managed to say back, the lake parted, and he saw the top of a castle.
"I can't," He shook his head, wondering if he had gone inside or if he had died without noticing and this is where he would end up. He had always heard people talk about hell being down, there might be some true to their words.
He looked back in the same direction where he had flown from. "I have to go back, it's important."
"You don't look like you'd get anywhere like that." the woman shook her head. "Come inside." she invited, hand open pointing at the small tower. "You can leave as soon as you feel better, I don't tend to trap people against their will."
"I don't trust you" he spat. "I don't even know who you are."
"Nor do I trust you." she assured, a hint of severity on her tone. "But I can still feel pity for someone who seems to have been wronged."
Emrys froze for a second, leaning forward to see the lake once again. "What if I wasn't the one who was wronged? I could be running away from justice."
The woman rose an eyebrow. "Just come" she said. "I don't tend to give away my sympathy with such ease."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Valerie, Audrey, Gabriel and Iman were hanging on Valerie's kitchen. The box of pizza that was on the edge of the table was from a place Iman suggested, after she said she couldn't eat from the place Valerie usually ordered. There were a bunch of notebooks between them. Valerie cleaned her fingers with a napkin before passing her notebook with the answers of her biology questionnaire to Iman.
The beginning of December had the cold weather become more noticeable with each passing day. Valerie had never been particularly fond of the season. This year it also served as a reminder that she wouldn't be able to afford visiting her family for the holidays. When it came to school, it was the perfect time for teachers to bombard the students with assignments before the upcoming break began.
"And the whole thing was a mess." Valerie explained, standing and passing an piece of pizza to Audrey and another to Iman. Audrey and Gabriel smiled at each other, with the boy pretending to steal her piece.
"They asked me some questions about literature, and chemistry and math and they asked me the usual." she rose her eyebrows "'What do you do on your free time?' so I had to put by best face and say 'I'm deeply involved in community service, I like to aid others and use my skills in a way that's beneficial to the people around me'." she rolled her eyes.
"I also told them the whole fencing thing." she added. "I skipped over the fact that I haven't actually won anything in a couple of years, but they don't need to know that." Iman laughed.
"I assume saying 'I fight deadly knights' is not an acceptable answer." The girl pointed, scribbling the questions on her notebook.
"They would have probably assumed I'd gone mental." Valerie sighed, taking Gabriel's Spanish notebook and grabbing a pencil. "Hey, have you seen that video of that girl with a sword beating two knights? That was me!" she pointed at herself with a fake wide smile.
"That'd be counterproductive if they did believe her." Audrey began, eyebrows pressed together at a math question. "They might assume Valerie is attracting the knights and that she's a potential danger to other students."
"I mean, she kinda is." Gabriel shrugged.
"I am not a danger to anyone." Valerie scoffed, putting a small 'x' on one of Gabriel's questions. Three pairs of eyes glared at her amused. "Don't look at me like that."
"Sorry, sorry." Iman laughed, hands risen in mocked surrender.
"So, is it official?" Gabriel questioned, taking his notebook back from Valerie and erasing the answers she had crossed. "Will you be befriending the rich kids now?"
Audrey elbowed him lightly. Valerie laughed as he lifted his hands in defeat.
"I'm just asking." Gabriel laughed. "Someone has to support all of us,"
"Don't talk like that, what if with them the whole thing about being descended from Arthur gets to her head?" Audrey said in a low lament, erasing something from her notebook. "She's going to be the most popular girl over there, 'Oh, who does my family have connections to? Arthur Pendragon of course, you might have heard of him.'"
"Can you imagine that? She might abandon us and get with richer friends." Iman put her head on hand and sighed, cleaning a pretend tear from her eyes. "She'll see us in the street and ignore us and put that 'I smelt something face' rich people put'."
"You three are horrible together." Valerie scoffed, shaking her head and rolled her eyes. She crumpled loose sheets of papers and threw them at each of them. "But no, Gabriel, nothing is official yet, now all I have to do is wait."
"Did they say anything about your exam?" Iman tried. Valerie paused for a second.
"Just that they were impressed 'someone like me' got such high score." Valerie sighed, Iman and Gabriel wrinkled their nose. "I know, it sounded so bizarre when the interviewer said it, and the face he put."
"Was it that smug face?" Gabriel questioned. He wrinkled his nose and stood straight, lifting his head as if he was looking at Valerie under his nose.
"Yes, exactly." Valerie nodded. "The 'ugh, you' face."
"Did they mention anything about the scholarship?" Audrey tried.
"Not really." Valerie sighed. "For what is worth, at least I also signed up for the college Jonathan goes to as a backup plan, it's nearby so it's not a big deal." she made a vague movement with her hand. "Besides, you lot tease me about going to a school for rich kids and you two applied for specialized schools to dance and to play football." she pointed at Gabriel and Audrey.
"It's hardly the same thing," Gabriel shrugged, a playful smile on his lips. "Besides, it's very rude of you to exclude Iman,"
He shook his head with disappointment. Valerie threw another sheet of paper at him.
"Don't throw her at me." Iman rose her hands. "I'm going to a normal college, that way I'll have the time to keep practicing fencing on the afternoons." she shrugged, handing Valerie back her notebook. "Thanks for this, Val, I was going to get a headache if I kept looking for the answers."
"No problem." Valerie sighed, glaring slightly at Gabriel. "Thank you for the history answers," she rose Iman's notebook. "Are you doing alright, Audrey?" Valerie questioned.
Audrey exhaled in defeat, showing she was already halfway done. She began to explain a question she had trouble with. Valerie nodded in understanding before approaching her.
-.-.-.-.-.-.
The afternoon sunlight leaked through the open window. Morgana held a cup of tea to her lips. The house was empty except for the two of them. Comfortable silence surrounded them. Emrys wasn't sure when he had stopped reading and focused his entire attention on her.
He looked at her. The light hitting her on the face low enough so she wouldn't have to squint her eyes while staring through the window at the street. He wondered if there was anything in there worth watching, almost certain the view he was getting was far better. Her curly, black hair was loose, and it went below her shoulders, she was wearing a long sleeved green blouse and a pair of pants she had worn to work and had yet to change.
Through the years, he never had any beliefs he had set in stone. Which proved to be beneficial when he woke up and centuries had passed. Some things were still utterly confusing, and he couldn't quite wrap his head around them, but he had more or less gotten used to them.
For him, believing in anything with absolute security was almost a luxury. He wasn't like Guinevere and Percival, who had the certainty that there was a god to devote themselves to. One that was constantly watching over them and had an open door and place by his side for everyone granting that they could prove that they had been good enough while they were alive. That most of the choices they had made, had been the right ones.
Emrys had never had that luxury. That certainty that someone out there was watching over him and would greet him with open arms. Someone that would wait for him and somehow hold a place in their hearts for his wellbeing and that
Morgana, however, always had.
He had pushed himself to believe, that like the god Guinevere and Percival believed in, that her love was conditional. An entertainment for her to pass the time. Someone with who she could hold a nice enough conversation while she waited for someone better.
If that had been truth, he would have let himself be played by her over and over again, just to hold her for an instant. Had she asked, or even dare to suggest it -and he knew he never would have, because Morgana was not that kind of person- he would have been her lover even after she married.
He had been used by many, in the cruelest of ways, to perform cruel acts. Being used by her would have been a blessing, a privilege.
However, what she wanted of him was a friend, a confidant, someone to rely on, someone who she could laugh with. He hoped that she looked in him the same he had once looked for in her. Someone to remind her that in the world there was still hope to be held even in the terrible parts.
"Why are you staring at me so much?" she questioned soft, with a smile.
The world had changed, in more ways than what he had probably taken into account. Some things still were so confusing to him that he had decided not to question them, but rather accept them as they were instead. His beliefs had been shaken time and time again through his life, such was a thing of living amongst humans.
But he knew with absolute certainty that he loved her, and that was enough.
"Marry me." he blurted. Morgana froze for a second and her eyes opened wide. He felt how his face turned hot. He was too old for that kind of thing. The red face and the bashfulness of thing was more befitting for young, foolish people.
"Excuse me?" she questioned, eyes still open wide, but lips in an unmistakable smile. She had heard him, loud and clear. He wasn't sure if she was teasing him or if she was giving him the chance to take his word back. The topic had never quite been brought up by either of them.
He stood from his seat, hand pressing the book closed. He took the cup from her hands and left it on the table. Emrys grasped one of her hands and left a kiss on its back.
"Your Highness, Morgana Lefay of Tintagel daughter of the king Gorlois of Cornwall, will you do me the honor of marrying me?" he questioned, her eyes opened wide. How long had it been since someone referred to her like that? "Quite frankly, my situation is not excellent, I don't have anything I am capable of offering you that you don't have already or that you can't get on your own, but if there's one thing I know for certain is that I love you, and that I would be honored to spend my life with you." he said, leaving another kiss on the back of her hand, eyes glowing green. She laughed softly, and flowers of all colors filled the living room.
He even sure that those that were her favorites, such as the orchids and the red camellias took more room than the others.
"Where does this come from?" she smiled, excitement clear on her voice. He got on one knee, leaving another kiss on her hand. "Quite a bit sudden, don't you think?"
"I see, you are making a mistake there." he said. "For you, it feels sudden, but for me, well, I've been thinking about this since not long after you returned from Avalon, and as a glaring fault to my character, I always found myself putting an excuse to not do it." He rose back to his feet, hands around her own. "I was too poor, too pitiful, too dirty, too bold for even daring to think about it."
"And what changed?" Morgana tried.
"Morgana Lefay." he laughed softly, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I can't dare to think of another the same way I think about you, you are the entire sky, the sun, the moon, every shining star. He began, watching her reaction. He couldn't take it back, nor did he want to.
"So much has changed in all the time I have known you, but in this case, I suppose I'm the one who has changed, because even if I can recklessly admit it was a spur of the moment, I realize, I only dared to ask because I didn't stop to consider what I lacked, but rather focus on you, and how utterly magnificent you are, and well, even if a thousand years have passed and you still think I'm worthy of you then I am." a laugh came through in his voice.
"I will make an effort every single day to keep being worthy of you, so I ask you again, will you marry me? I'm afraid I don't have a ring, but I..."
It wasn't until he was well into adulthood that he figured the place he wanted to take in the world. That he learnt what it was like to be seen by no one else's eyes but his own. Figuring it out had been freeing, and it had made him all the more aware the mistakes he had committed. He, as soon as he learnt such things knew he wanted to start anew.
"Yes" Morgana interrupted. He stared dumbfounded a couple of seconds. "Yes, I will marry you, old-man"
Emrys paused, staring at her for a couple times before letting out a heartfelt laugh and beginning to kiss her anywhere he could. Her face was bright with joy.
"The wedding can be whenever you want, I'll make sure you get whatever you want" he promised, mumbling into her neck. "We can even go to that church the girl goes to and marry there."
"I'm not catholic" Morgana laughed.
"Doesn't matter." he shrugged. "I will do whatever you want me to." he said. "Morgana Lefay, I've loved you for many, many years, and I know, I know they have been far more for you and that you've seen the world change but this time, I want to see it change with you." he said. Morgana wrapped her arms around him and pulled him for a kiss.