Sabrina
One week later.
I was in the bathroom in the mirror looking at the bruises on my neck. I was still fucked up from all of the shit that happened.
I've been in the house hiding from the world. Everyday CJ asks why did Chris do that and I honestly don't know what to tell him
Lisa: Sabrina!
Sabrina; up here
I picked at my neck and my mom walked in.
Lisa: hi honey
Sabrina: hey ma
Lisa: where are my grand babies
Sabrina: CJ is in school and Chloe went on a lunch date with Momma Joyce
Lisa: oh ok...I see those bruises are really bothering you
Sabrina: I still can't believe his ass
Lisa: that was crazy
Sabrina: it was
Lisa: but Sabrina as your mom I have to let you know that you were wrong
Sabrina: excuse me
Lisa: why would you have sex with Trey knowing how close he is to Chris
Sabrina: you can not be serious right now
Lisa: and you shouldn't have told him the way you did!
Sabrina: oh ok! So it's not ok for me to sleep with Trey or tell him I did but it's ok for him to publicly humiliate me so many fucking times and it's ok for him to wrap his hands around my neck and choke the shit out of me and it's ok for him to do all of the bullshit he has done. I did one thing and you wanna tell me I'm wrong!
Lisa: you really hurt him
Sabrina: FUCK HIS FEELINGS! HE HAS NEVER EVER THOUGHT ABOUT MINE! LOOK AT MY NECK MA! LOOK AT MY NECK, HE DIDNT THINK TWICE BEFORE HE TRIED TO KILL ME IN FRONT OF MY BABIES! BUT ITS OK BECAUSE I HURT HIM? IF THATS THE CASE THAT BITCH SHOULDVE BEEN DEAD AFTER ALL OF THE TIMES HES HURT ME! FUCK CHRIS, FUCK HIM!
Lisa: but two wrong doesn't make it right
I walked out the bathroom and just sat on my bed. I wanted to cry but I was so damn mad I couldn't. My mom tried her hardest to explain herself but I didn't want to hear it!
If I didn't legally agree to stay in California so that my children could be close to their father I would have been moved away! Far away and nobody would be able to find me.
Later on
I was laying in bed with CJ and Chloe. Chloe was sleep but CJ was woke playing games on my phone.
Sabrina: ok Chris, 10 more minutes then you have to get ready for bed.
CJ: I don't wanna go to school tomorrow
Sabrina: you don't have a choice
CJ: please ma, don't make me go
Sabrina: why?
CJ: today in school somebody said that daddy was a woman beater
Sabrina: WHAT?!
CJ: they knew about what daddy did to your neck
Sabrina: what's the kid name that said this to you?
CJ: it was my teacher.
Sabrina: OMG! Are you sure you heard that?
CJ: yes when I walked out of the classroom I forgot something and I heard daddy's name and yours. So now I don't like school
Sabrina: OMG come here honey...you don't have to go and I'll find you a new school
I pulled him to me
My eyes just clouded up with tears. I have no idea how they know about my neck or what happened unless they saw my bruises by accident when I dropped him off.
But it's sad to sit around and talk about a kids parents not knowing if that kid is around or not.
And with Chris and I acting like two fools things will never get better and my son would have to deal with the side eye everywhere he goes because of his parents
After taking this all in I knew it was something I had to do.
I picked up my phone and I sent a text to Chris.
He is the last person I want to talk to but at the end of the day our kids come first. It's about time we make things right for their sake!
Chris
Chris: mmm shit, damn girl you done got better over time
I leaned my head back as Karrueche sucked all on my shit.
I grabbed the back of her hair making her go further.
*Buzz, Buzz*
I looked over at my phone and it was Sabrina....that's a big ass surprise and what the hell do she want
I wasn't about to deal with her ass right now I gotta get mine first.
After busting all in her mouth I picked up my phone
BM
We need to talk!
Chris
About what?
BM
Your son
Chris
He acting up
BM
No....can you come over?
Wow, never thought I'd see those words. Up until today I don't know where she stay
Chris
Yeah
She sent over her address
Karrueche: who is that?
Chris: Girl don't be in my business
Karrueche: don't play with me
Chris: my kids mom
She rolled her eyes.
Karrueche: I thought you were done with her.
Chris: I am but it don't matter we got kids together. No matter what those 3 are the most important things in my life. No matter what we go through I'll jump through a fire for her ass.
Karrueche: even after she slept with somebody you call your brother
Chris: man Karrueche just get dressed you gotta go, I gotta check on my kids.
Karrueche: you still love her don't you?
I just looked at her.
Chris: nobody will ever take her place
After I said that she got up and left. I went and jumped in the shower then headed over to Sabrina's
She didn't live too far from me.
She was always in love with this neighborhood when we stayed together.
I pulled up to her place and cut the car off.
Chris: lord let this be a nice calm conversation
I picked up my phone and told her I was outside.
A few minutes later she came and stood in the door.
I got out and walked up to her.
Chris: wassup
Sabrina: hey, come in
I walked in. This place was nice as hell. It reminded me of my house when it was ours.
We walked into her family room. I sat down and she sat across from me.
Sabrina: somebody just got some
Chris: how you know lol
Sabrina: I know you! Lol
Damn we haven't laughed together in a long time
Chris: so what's up with CJ?
When I said that her eyes clouded up and a tear fell. I sat up so quick
Chris: my son ok?
Sabrina: we were upstairs earlier and I was telling him he had a few minutes left to play a game on my phone because he had to get ready for school and then he was like I don't want to go to school and first im just like you don't have a choice being the typical mom. Then he said I heard somebody call dad....
She took a deep breath and the tears started pouring
Sabrina: I heard them call dad a woman beater
I shifted in my seat.
Sabrina: he said they knew you did this to my neck and they just talked about us while my baby was right there.
Chris: man
Sabrina: I'm so embarrassed and hurt. My son should not have to hear that especially in school!
Chris: exactly! That's so fucked up
Sabrina: Chris we gotta do something about this.
Chris: I know
Sabrina: so I called you over here to possibly try and talk and come to an agreement where we can at least be cordial with each other so my baby doesn't have to deal with that
I got up and sat next to her.
Seeing her bruises up close made my stomach do flips
Chris: Sabrina I wanna apologize about everything man, from the cheating and lies to the bullshit I did last week. Hearing you tell me that somebody else, somebody I'm cool with had what was once mine and only mine killed me man and finally I realized how I made you feel. I never wanted us to be like this. My plan was to love you forever and I failed at that. I'm so sorry man!
I could feel myself getting ready to tear up. I don't know why this was making me cry
I just felt bad about everything
Chris: if I would've just been the man that I was supposed to be CJ wouldn't be going through this, you wouldn't hate me and I'd still be living happily. We all would. Im sorry Sabrina
I wiped away her tears
Sabrina: I want to apologize too. First off I was so wrong for sleeping with Trey. I was so busy trying to make you jealous but I wasn't thinking about the consequences. I also wanna apologize for being selfish. I was only thinking about myself and hurting you. Every night I dream about how things would be if we were still married and if Christian was here. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have been so mad about you being with Nia because I did decided to file for divorce and we weren't together when it happened
Chris: no, I was wrong. I shouldn't had even let that girl get close to me because even though you filed we was still married.
Sabrina: I just wish things were different. I can't lie I miss you so much. I want so badly to just tell you to come back but I'm so scared of loving you again because it always ends with me being hurt by you over and over and over. Seeing you in that club for the first time in a long time my first thought was to let you feel my pain.
Chris: and it worked! Lol. It's crazy how it just took one time for me to just feel the pain...man Sabrina I love you. I can't even date anybody else cause it ain't right if it ain't you and to know I scarred you so bad to the point that you don't love me really fucks me up
Sabrina: Chris I still love you more than anything it's just scary being with you because I just don't want to be hurt and humiliated again.
Chris: well let's agree to work on our friendship and raising our kids and if things slowly slip back into how they used to be we shouldn't be afraid to let them
She looked at me
Chris: we got a deal?
Sabrina: ok, deal
I stood up and pulled her up to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I put mine on her waist
Chris: I love you Sabrina
Sabrina: I love you too
I just pulled her into a tight hug
Sabrina: I really needed this.
Chris: I'm always here when you need me
She pulled back and just looked at me. I wanted to kiss her so bad but I didn't want to rush anything.
After our hugging session lol we sat down and started talking.
I got so comfortable I was laying in between her legs with my head on her chest and she just rubbed my hair.
Chris: all I'm saying is you ain't have to fuck up everything you could've just knocked over a vase or something
Sabrina: a vase? Lol boy bye! You betta be glad you ain't get knocked over
Chris: I'm still paying for shit, I had to promise people with daughters free tickets to my shows, FREE baby!
Sabrina: you know I'm crazy
Chris: my clothes, my paintings, my walls, my shoes oh god my shoes! My cars. Some of them so damaged I just said fuck it
Sabrina: just be thankful you're still alive
Chris: you need help girl lol
Sabrina: you do too! Why you just couldn't be honest with me at the club and just say im jealous
Chris: I'm not about to tell you that
Sabrina: why?
Chris: so it can go to yo head and make it bigger than what it already is
Sabrina: hush up
Chris: so are you and Trey a thing now
Sabrina: lol no, that was a one time thing. Trey is just like you and I know he's a dog
Chris: so I'm a dog
Sabrina: you have doggish ways
Chris: something I'm not proud of
Sabrina: you just gotta focus on what's important and once you figure out it ain't these bitches out here and it's nothing like having that one chick that's just gone ride for you, those ways will quickly disappear.
Chris: I think once I realized you were gone for good I learned my lesson
Sabrina: you'll get it right one day. It might not be with me but one day it'll all be ok.
I just took a deep breath
We talked the rest of the night. I swear I miss this shit and I really would give up it all just go get it back
I was knocked out and I felt somebody tapping me. I slowly opened my eyes to see Chloe and CJ in front me. I looked up and I still on Sabrina's chest. No wonder I slept so good
Chris: wassup guys....give daddy kiss Princess
She kissed me
I love my kids
CJ: daddy can you get us some cereal
Chris: yeah go in the kitchen here I come
I looked at Sabrina again
Sabrina: you snore so loud! I did not miss that
Chris: lol whatever
I got up and went and made the kids some breakfast then went back in the family room with Sabrina
Chris: so I was thinking we could take the kids out today
Sabrina: that's fine
Chris: alright I'll be back in a few hours
Sabrina: ok
I kissed her cheek
Chris: I love you
Sabrina: I love you more
I smiled.
I went in the kitchen and kissed the kids then headed home.
I hope from now on everything will be better. Not only for us but for our kids because they matter the most.
I know right now Sabrina ain't tryna deal with my ass but I'm praying one day she'll be ready for me to be right back where I belong and thats with her
Sabrina
I can't lie being wrapped in Chris's arms felt so damn right! Our talk last night has me feeling so much better and I'm happy that we're trying to work everything out.
I'm not rushing to get in a relationship with him or anything but for now I'll love to have back that friendship before we got together.
After the kids got done eating I went and got us dressed. They were so excited to be with me and Chris today. I was kind of happy too. My family was together
Chris pulled up an hour later.
We put the kids in the car the headed out
Sabrina: where to?
Chris: I was thinking we stop somewhere and grab some food and have a nice little beach day
Sabrina: that sounds cool
After we made a few runs we headed to the beach. There wasn't a lot of people there so that was perfect
Chloe: mommy can I get in the water
Sabrina: yes baby but you can't go far
Chloe: come on CJ
Chris: girl you so bossy
CJ: I don't wanna go
Chloe: I said lets go!
CJ: ok
They got up and ran over to the water
Sabrina: she is bossy
Chris: I wonder where she gets it from
Sabrina: I have no idea
He just looked at me
Sabrina: so what's been going with you since everything happened
Chris: nothing much, took a little break from music. My mind wasn't in it. But I'll write a song every now and then or do a feature. I just been tryna get my shit together.
Sabrina: I heard you were suing Nia lol
Chris: yeah man, she had me taking care of a baby that wasn't mine. She paid like 20 thousand to somebody just to say that I was the dad
Sabrina: she is a crazy bitch!
Chris: she ruined my fucking life man
Sabrina: mine too
Chris: no I ruined your life. I take full responsibility for being a jack ass and not appreciating you
Sabrina: where was this Chris a year ago
Chris: I don't know. They say you never know what you got until it's gone but the crazy thing is I knew what I had! I swear I was 100% faithful to you during our marriage it was just up until shit hit the fan and you was ready to leave me. I went out, got drunk, I fucking blacked out and then next thing I know I'm waking up with somebody who ain't my wife on my chest.
Just hearing that made my stomach turn. I felt my self getting ready to cry, I just batted away the tears.
I took a deep breath
Chris: I feel so bad every time I think about it
Sabrina: don't beat yourself up about it. That was the past. I'm just tryna focus on right now.
Chris: so what have you been up to
Sabrina: working on this clothing line which is finished! I've been looking for a party planner because I want to have a launch party/ runway show. I'm so excited
Chris: finally! I can't wait to see it
Sabrina: I decided to do shirts, jackets, jeans and dresses and now I'm working on some stuff for men and you will never guess who was my muse
Chris: who, Trey?
I just looked at him then pushed his head
Sabrina: no yo ugly ass
Chris: lol for real
Sabrina: lol yes! It was so weird googling you and shit. I was like studying everything
Chris: awww im flattered! I know it's gone be fly for sure
Sabrina: yeah, I can't wait
We sat around and talked some more
Chloe: Mommy, daddy come in the water
Chris: ok
Sabrina: I'll stay here and watch you guys
Chloe: no! Come on
Sabrina: no Chloe go with daddy
Chris; girl if you don't come get in the water
Sabrina: but I don't want to
Chris: go ahead Chloe I'll bring mommy
Sabrina: what you mean you'll bring me?
He got up and picked me up and threw me over his shoulder
Sabrina: lol omg! Put me down
Chris: Nope! What princess wants, Princess gets!
He ran into the water
CJ: throw her in daddy
Sabrina: really CJ? I thought you loved mommy
CJ: I do but I wanna see him throw you
Sabrina: Chris if you was smart you wouldn't do that
He started walking further in the water
Chris: better hold your breath
Sabrina: please don't!
Chris: you ready to see this CJ
CJ: yeah
Sabrina: I'm killing both of ya-
Before I could finish I was in the middle of the air then splash!
I came back up and I was pissssssseeeeeddddd!
Sabrina: ok time to go!
Chris: man Sabrina don't be like that
CJ: I don't wanna go
Chris pulled me to him
Chris: it was a joke! The Sabrina I know and love don't have a stick up her ass!
I just looked at them as they gave me the pouty face and it's crazy how all 3 of them looked exactly alike.
Sabrina: ok
The kids started jumping and Chris joined like he was their age.
We played around some more then headed back to the house. I was freezing cold and couldn't wait to change. Chris put the kids in bed while I changed in my room.
A few minutes later he came in my room
Chris: man they out like a light
Sabrina: good! Can you unhook this for me?
Chris: your bra?
Sabrina: yes my bra lol you have seen my titties plenty of times
He laughed and got behind me. I just looked at us through the mirror. Today made me realize how much I miss this.
But Chris is bad for me.
But I honestly don't want no one else if it ain't him
Uugggghhhhhh why did all of this have to happen?!
Once he was finished I covered myself. When I turned around he was really close to me.
Only God knows how much I want this man
Sabrina: Chris
Chris: yes
There goes that deep sexy voice
Sabrina: I think....I think it's too soon for this and I'm not ready for a relationship right now
He picked me up and sat me on the dresser.
Chris: I'm not worried about a relationship right now Sabrina we got other shit to work on & baby we grown and it ain't like this something new for us. We both got needs and right now I'm just tryna take care of yours
When he said that I pulled him to me and I was all over his ass!
I had his shirt off & was just licking and sucking all over his neck! His hands just squeezed my body and that was driving me insane.
I fucking miss hiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmm!
I was so excited this was about to happen but his phone kept going off and it was ruining the moment.
Sabrina: can you please answer that?
Chris: they can wait
Sabrina: just answer it cause they're not going to stop calling obviously
Chris: damn man!
He answered the phone and I just continued to kiss on his neck and chest. He just rubbed his fingers through my hair.
I honestly stayed close to see who he was talking to and I could hear a females voice
Chris: man I'm busy what do you want
Girl: I'm at the house come home
Chris: I'll call you back later
He hung up and turned his phone off then threw his phone somewhere.
This bitch was telling him to come home! So he's living with another chick & trying to have sex with me?!
He tried to get things started again but I just sat back and looked at him
Chris: what's wrong baby?
Sabrina: who was that?
Chris: nobody Sabrina
Sabrina: she told you to come home, do you have a girlfriend?
Chris: no man, no
Sabrina: how long have I known you? I know when you're lying
Chris: she not my girl we just started back talking
Sabrina: Started back talking???! Who is it
He just looked at the floor. I grabbed his face and made him look at me.
Sabrina: who is it?
Chris: Karrueche
Sabrina: ooooooh your little go to bitch when shit with us hit the fan! So you weren't gonna tell me?
Chris: but she's not my girl though
Sabrina: Chris she lives with you
Chris: she doesn't! She don't got a key to my shit
I just took a deep breath then moved him out my way and got off the dresser
He grabbed me and pulled me back
Chris: Sabrina I'm sorry
Sabrina: what are you apologizing to me for, I'm not your wife anymore you can do what you want.
Chris: but baby
Sabrina: I'm gonna go change
I walked in my closet and slipped on some pajamas.
Trying my hardest to fight back my tears.
When I came back out he was putting his shoes on. I just laid in bed.
He turned around and looked at me
Chris: no matter what I let you down
I didn't say anything I just batted away my tears.
He kissed my forehead
Chris: I love you so much
Sabrina: I love you more
He left out and as soon as my room door closed all the tears fell.
I really need to pick myself up and move on cause Chris gone always be Chris and I'm tired of waiting on him to change!
Chris
The next morning
When I got home I cussed Karrueche out so bad!
I had to set some shit straight, she's not my girl and never will be my girl!
The woman that I want and need is the one I keep hurting over and over!
Today I was chilling with my mom.
Joyce: come on sweetie, Breakfast is ready
I got up and walked into the kitchen.
I was so into my conversation with Sabrina I didn't even focus on my food.
Joyce: boy if you don't put that phone down and focus on that food I worked so hard to make
Chris: oh, I'm sorry.
I put my phone down
Joyce: so how has things been since that all happened
Chris: a lot better
Joyce: so have you made an effort to talk to Sabrina
Chris: we're actually on good terms now. I spent the day with her and the kids yesterday and the night before
Joyce: woooow, that is so good!
Chris: I just need things to be right and how the used to be
Joyce: and what do you mean by that?
Chris: I want my family back, I want Sabrina to be mine again
She just looked at me
Chris: name somebody out here who's better for me than she is?
Joyce: you don't know how hard I prayed for you two to work things out but Chris as my son I have to be honest you were the root of most issues. So you don't need to be trying to get things back until you can get it through your head that the games you play are done. If you really want her back you would go to the ends of the earth to make sure that nothing and no one else comes in between you two. I'm sure the trust with you two is out the window, all that you've done and the stuff that she's done. So I suggest the first thing you two should do is build trust. I think you two should go to counseling
Chris: no thanks
Joyce: that could help out a lot
Chris: I don't need a counselor I just need my wife back. I know I have to become a better man before that happens and I'm trying. As of today I promise to do right by her. Whatever she wants me to do to prove that I'm going to be the man that she knows I can be, I'll do it. I just need my baby back!
Joyce: I know you can make this work, you just have to believe in yourself
Sabrina is everything and plus more to me! I'm too old to still be jumping from girl to girl. I had that one that was perfect for me and I threw it all away! But now it's time for me to reclaim what's mine and to make sure nobody else gets ahold of it.
She will be mine again! It might not happen today or tomorrow but it's gonna happen.