take it how you want it

you.

you and i are less than 10 feet apart
yet it feels like you are miles away
i crave whatever you'll give me
i want it so desperately
i want to hear your laugh
i want to tell you the things that remind me of you
i want to rely on you
but i can't
with this immense feeling
you portray that you don't want the same things as i do
but with a feeling this strong
i cant be the only one that wishes it was like this too
i can smile and laugh with other people
but i always look around to see you
to see if you're laughing and smiling too
and it kills me that i killed you
with an axe i never meant to throw
but rather shield you from
from pain
hurt
but i caused it for you
and i wish more than anything
i could've thrown myself into the fire
i could've felt the raging flames
as they burned my skin
and i wish i could've taken the axe
to my chest
to feel my heart pulsating
bleeding out
wishing to feel anything other than love
i would've done it all for you
because it's you
only you
no one else
but you