Yuuji's pov:
I was running like a crazy and my heart was beating so fast. The weather is breezy today due to the winter maybe. I was feeling my nose getting red and . Moreover, it's clear to see the smoke that comes out the mouth. But I always shut my mouth close while running. It makes me feel less tired.
I glanced my back seeing the sight of university was disappearing, I stopped. I stayed there for a minute to make sure that he wasn't coming. Thanks God, he didn't follow me. For a moment, I thought he would follow me until he reach me.
After few minutes of walking, I found myself at home. I feeling more tired than usual or maybe I am stressing about what I've seen today. I took the key out my pocket as inserting it in the hole, coverting the key as opening the door. I tossed my shoes aside as going to the second floor.
Megumi's dogs ran to me as soon as they saw me. I had to go downstairs, feeding the dogs. I kneeled in front of them, just petting them a little. After that, I went to upstairs again, entering my room.
I opened the door, seeing the mess I have made in the morning.
I am not in a mood to clean it, though.
I tossed my clothes with my foot, going to the bathroom. Because of running, I was soacking wet, and I needed a long shower, also clearing my mind while bathing. I reckon that would be great, so I prepared the bathtub as taking off my clothes.
By time I waited for the tub getting filled up with water, I had put some music like "Cigarettes After Sex".
The band's musics are so calming and comfortable, and the way Gregory singing the songs under his breath is so smooth. It is like my soul is resting, and my body relaxing. It is like a cure to my sadness or probably making me overthink even more. Futhermore, just makes me feel like I'm alive and have a quite life.
The first song is "Cry.", one of my favourites.
I laid my naked body to the sink, looking through the tub with empty eyes.
My bathroom is larger than others, 'cause I like walking around the room, and also, I don't want to stuck my leg into something. Even Nobara bearly showers at her own damn bathroom.
As it finished, I got inside of it and I laid down slowly, laying my head to the head of tub, and looking at the celling. I was deep in thoughts.
There is a strange feeling inside of me that makes me stress more, and I can't tell that much. It's like, my heart is squeezed by someone or something. It is getting hard to breath.
I'm feeling like crying, yet, I don't want to cry over stupid shit that I don't exactly know.
What am gonna say to him when he gets home?
Oh, yes, I saw you two kissing eacth other. Awww, you were looking absolutely freaking beautiful. I wish you two happiness.
Some shit like that?
I don't know which one hurts me more, him getting secret relationship or getting fooled by my own deluluness.
I'am feeling so useless and hurt right now. I don't want to lose him.
I love him so fucking much.
I should have made a move earlier than her. I let him slipped through my fingers. If I had claimed him soon, he would have been mine.
Too late, asshole. Too late. Accept it, Yuuji. You lost your lover.
At least, he is still my friend now. His happiness is my happiness.
But how am gonna bury these feelings? I don't think I will be able to get over him. I still remember the day, I fell in love with at the first sight.
The first day of high school, I transferred from Sendai to Tokyo. I was kinda nervous to get along with new people. But that is alright, I am good with socialising.
I was standing in front of the door, shaking my hands to calm down. I was about to open the door, then I felt someone's presence
"What are you waiting for?" I flinched and turned around to see a tall, white haired man with glassess coming closer to my face. I backed away a little hitting my back to the door.
"Hm, a new student." He shouted as calpping his hands. I thought he is a teacher, but it turned out that he was just visiting his husband. He actually teaches at university.
When we entered, the whole class stoped talking, then girls suddenly screamed as soon as they saw Gojo-sensei. I reckon they are head over heels for him.
Minutes later my real teacher, Geto-sensei came. Gojo-sensei got hit from his husband kissing him in front of students. Some of them disgusted, some of them cheered.
Suddenly, a pair of blue eyes caught my attention. It was easy to see his eyes due to sun. I froze at that moment, my heart skipped a bit. I locked my eyes with him and I have no intention of taking my eyes off of him. He kept staring at me, and I kept staring at him. His eyes are cold as night, emotionless, just glaring at me for no reason, and also he looks like hey, look I am an emo guy. I don't give a shit and I am not pleased to meet you.
I started to like him from the start, and that turned into love. I was always getting excited to see him and know new things about. He is like pure soul to me.
Hot tears was rolling down my face as I squeezed my eyes, pulling my kness to faces hiding my face to my kness. Due to crying a lot, without realization I drifted to sleep.
I flinched at the sound of someone's burst to the bathroom. I shivered due to the cold water. How long has it beenI rubbed my eyes as standing up.
"Woah, easy, boy, easy."
Takinkg the nearest towel I swiftly wrapped it around me. "Privacy, ma'am, privacy! What are you even doing here?!" I looked at eyes closed Nobara.
"No one told to stand up, dumbass, and you weren't answering. I thought you killed yourself."
"Hahaha, do not exagratte. Now, get the hell out of here."
"Alright. I am getting out, don't blow a fuse." She said as closing the door. Then again she opened and peeked her head. "I forgot to say. Your deck is huge." She winked at me.
"Hey! Please tell me you didn't see it."
"I can't tell." She shouted the other side of the door.
"Nobara!" I sighed with frustration.
I went in front of the mirror and looked at myself. I look like a shit. Eyes puppy, swollen, and kinda red. Even the corner of my eyes are burnt. I feel the pain in my eyes. Even my head hurts. I should've known the consequences of crying. I raised my hand to rub it, but it will hurt more.
Before going down, I took a quick shower. But this time I locked the door in order not letting to occur that scene again. After drying up myself I opened the door and peeked inside of my bedroom to make sure that she is not here. I opened the door fully as getting out, picking a sweater and kinda oversized, grish trousers from the wardrobe. I took the hair towel putting on my head as going to downstairs.
"Nobara?" I called out for her.
"I'm here." her voice came from the kitchen, and I walked toward there. The door was closed, but I usually keep it open. When I opened the door, I was smacked really hard from head.
"Ow, the hell did you do that for?!"
"You idiot, where have you been?! I and Megumi were looking for you. We were worried. You weren't even answering your phone."
"Sorry, I was actually feeling blue and needed to be alone."
"Why? What bothers you? How are feeling now?" She smiled.
"I'm alright now. No worries." Her smiled dropped and glared at me giving
Nah, I'm not believing this shit. We stared each other for a long time. She was getting a little closer to me, but the thing is, she was looking at the corner of my eye. Shit.
"Were you crying?" She sounded worried.
"Pft, no, that's nonsense. I accidently burnt it, the water was too hot."
"Yuuji, you are really bad at lying as Megumi. Do not ever fool a woman."
"But-"
"Shh, seriously. What's wrong..." she stopped and there was shock in her eyes."Don't tell me that he rejected you. You got hearbroken, and you cried due to this. That's why that asshole was looking for you."
"Nobara, no. You misunderstood-"
"Shut up." I zipped my mouth, showing it with sign
"So, tell me the details, please. I would like to know what made him reject you?"
"Nothing happened?" She raised a brow, put her hands on her hips. That's a woman sign. She is getting mad.
"Because I didn't confess?" I averted my eyes.
She gasped suddenly. "What?! But...but you said that you were ready for that."
"I was ready, until," I gulped. There's something stucks in my throat.
"Until..."
"Yuuji, focus and calm down. Just take it slow and breath."
I did what she told me. There was a quite silence betweens us. I couldn't look at her. I didn't want to see the pity on her face. I felt tears on the corner of my eyes. I stayed silent more to buy time. The she wasn't complaining about that just waiting patiently for me to tell her.
Finially, I gathered up.
"I saw them kissing." she stayed silent. But I can feel her gaze that she wonders who I am talking about.
"Megumi and who?" I gulped, that scene came in front of my eyes. And here it's the pain that I felt in my heart.
It hurts. Why? Why? Why her? I sighed. I squeezed my eyes.
"Mina." I raised my head to see facial expression. There is some kind of expression that I can't explain. She is looking at me like I was joking. Then unexpectedly , she bursted into a laugh.
"Bitch, how do you consider it as a fun!?"
"Wait! Wait! You are telling me that they kissed!?" She laughed like a maniac. Sometimes I am really scared of her. "This is the shittiest thing I've ever heard in my life."
What the actually fuck!
"Oh my God, I've never laughed so hard like that before. My stomach hurts." Here she is. She is not helping at all. Just laughing and making me feel a shit. Whatever I say to any person. They all take it as a joke. Sometimes I wish someone saw me like a normal person who likes to talk even unintentinally. I wish there was someone who wouldn't laugh at me and take me serious. They still think I am 15 years old. They treat me like that. I also want to be understood by people. I also have feelings and it breaks my heart. No one consider my feelings serious.
No one.
The fact that I didn't say something funny that she can excgratte. I couldn't stand anymore. I wanted leave the house. I was about to open the door, Nobara caught my arm.
"Yuuji, I'm sorry for laughing. I didn't think that possibilty. C'mon we are talking about Megumi. You can't be that sure-"
"No, I definently saw it. Bye." I walked out of the kitchen.
"But, Yuuji, please, listen to me."
Enough is enough. I don't have that strenght to listen anymore.
I quickly wore my shoes and took the keys. Oppening the front door harshly caused me to bumpt into someone.
"There you are, dumbass."