Alarm rang. The sun is up. No Benjamin sleeping aside by me. He deserves to know where I come from, the confusion and the anger. I wasn't let that ruin my day so far. Last night, I got an email from Anna wanting me to meet the publisher at lunch today. I look myself in the mirror, seeing that I haven't washed my face due to the smudged makeup last night. I take a shower and see any messages or calls from Benjamin. Zero.
I put my phone down, and get ready for my meeting even though it's 3 hours early. I look for my closet to see anything for me to wear; I decide on a beige, plaid blazer dress with white sneakers, and put my messy hair into a bun with a few strings down. As I put my everyday makeup on, my phone rings. I have gotten so scared to see who it is, I turn my phone up and see the name: Anna. Anna is calling me.
"Hi, Dahlia! Hope I haven't woke you."
"Anna, you know me that I'm a morning bird. I haven't got my coffee yet. What's up?"
"Oh, well, the publisher wants to know if you were available to come to his office? To discuss things over with your book."
"Yeah, Anna, it would be a blast."
"Awesome! I'll see you then!" She hangs up, and I see my mom's message that she will be fixing brunch at Patrick's house tomorrow. What's up with every one of lunch?
After my meeting with the publisher, things are going well because we agree on the same thing. It will be released on my birthday: December 14th. I am looking on my phone to see if Benjamin called while I was in the meeting. No calls. The one thing I would be able to get through my day is baking the cake for tomorrow. I decide to make a German Chocolate Cake. I put on my pajama suit, and my hair is still up.
While the cake is in the oven, I text Della if she is coming to brunch tomorrow and let her know that I am making her favorite cake. She replies that she is coming and couldn't wait to have a slice. I make my homemade coconut/pecan filling and chocolate frosting to decorate. After my baking, I couldn't stop thinking of Benjamin and me making the steak and kidney pie on our first date. After decorating my cake, I go to bed and sleep early. Without Benjamin.
The next day, I get dressed in a black blazer and pants with a white shirt and white sneakers. I decided to wear my naturally, wavy hair down for today. I knock on my brother's door, and Della opens.
I smile, "Hey, Del!" and I hug with one arm due to the other carrying the cake.
Della let go of the hug, "Hi, Dahlia, and hello to Mr. German Chocolate." I laugh. Della takes the cake and walks inside. I take off my sneakers by the door and walk into the kitchen where my mom is cooking her chicken. I give her a hug and ask if she needs any help. She shakes her head. After getting my water out of the fridge, I see Della playing dinosaurs with Lottie.
"Hi, Lottie!" Lottie jumps onto me and hugs me; I growl like a dinosaur and tease her like I'm eating her. "How are you doing?"
"Fine! Aunt Della gave me Bonbons!" She races to her father, and I give Della a look knowing that she's going to tell her dad. Patrick hates his kids having sweets, personally, I really don't like sweets too, besides the baking goods. I get up and sit on the counter by the two wine bottles.
Della points out to Mom, "She's going to tell him."
"Leo tells me that Emily is back."
I turn to my sister, shock and surprise, "Della, you didn't tell me!"
Della was taken back and a little annoyed, "That's because I don't want to tell, sis..." I understand. Emily broke up with Della for some reason but I ship them both and I think she's good to Della. Considering that she doesn't know much about feelings... Mom asks Della if Emily is part of a secret to share, "No, no, it's fine. It's not even worth talking about, honestly."
Mom asks Della, "Have you seen her?"
Della said, "Why would I see her?" I already know she has seen her by her actions of defending herself, kinda similar to Benjamin's action from that night. "That's like asking if you have seen Dad." Woah, Della. Low blow...
Patrick enters the room with the Bonbons, "I assume these are from you." Della assumes correctly and I laugh at her comment. I love her. She's the best... Mom points out the wines beside me saying that Della bought a bottle of red. Patrick examines the bottle that Della bought, then point out the next wine and he turns to Della, "This is-"
Della interrupts, "The far-superior wine. Yes, I'm sure it is." I roll my eyes at my brother's remark. Who cares which wine is more superior. Della brought the wine and you enjoy it. Piece of cake!
"Hi, Patrick!" I wave to my brother. He smiles shortly and asks Della to join him outside. I turn to mom, "So much for a hello." Mom and I both laugh. "How's everything, mom? Why do you decide to come here 5 hours from home?"
"I thought I could escape the scenery and want to fix my children for a brunch we haven't had for so long." Mom smiles sadly.
"Is it because of Dad?" Mom nods and I jump off the counter and give her a hug. "I love you, Mom." I pull her away from Mom and decide to tell her the news about my book. Of course, she would be so proud of me. I smile and look behind me to see Della and Patrick talking privately. "I wonder what they're chattering about..."
"I don't know, darling" She continues making the brunch of potatoes, and then my siblings enter the kitchen with unreadable faces...
Eimear enters the kitchen with her dress on, showing her cleavage a bit. It's a v-neck dress. Dare I say she looks beautiful, I'm not a lesbian. Count on that. "Well, at the risk of tempting fate, her arse is clean and she's asleep." Della comments if she wants to go up to give her a kiss. I laugh at her remark to warn Eimear. "Abso-fucking-lutely not! Unless you want to sit up there, getting her back to sleep. Hi, Dahlia!" She gives me a hug.
I look at Eimear with a smile, "Eimear. You look so beautiful!"
"Oh, the wrong sibling, but I'll take it." We both laugh, and she gives a look at Patrick.
He says to his wife, "I was about to say."
"Yeah, yeah, sure you were." Benjamin complimented me every time we would meet... There is something up with Patrick, and I could clearly see his face. He's better not having a disagreement with Eimear. She's a perfect wife for him, and a good friend of mine. If she wasn't at home all the time. Mom warns Eimear if she shouldn't drink because of breastfeeding but she takes the drink instead... I get her mood.
Patrick approaches me, "So how are you, sis?"
I look at him, surprised, by his approach, "I'm fine... so unlikely for you." I mutter at the last part when I take a drink.
Della asks, "How long are you staying in London?"
"Well, I just published my book, and I may or may not come home."
Patrick ignore my news and ask me, "Like what? Few days, or months?"
I turn to Patrick with an unsure shrug, "Uh, just depends." Patrick wouldn't give up on the pry. I answer honestly, "On Benjamin." I look at my brother's expression of concern and I decide to change the subject. "So, Della. How's your gig coming along?"
Della was about to answer until Patrick interrupts again. "What's up with Benjamin?"
"It's no big secret; it's just me and Benjamin having a little fight. It's normal. Does anyone want a piece?" I start to cut the cake with a knife.
"What was the fight about, sis?" Patrick asks again, why in a decade he suddenly cares for me? "Has he rung you? Tried to apologize?" I start to laugh at how ironic this is... "What's so funny?"
"Gosh, how surprising you care, Patrick. In a decade, you didn't care much about me till the day that I just met someone. The noises in my head are telling me to stop and my chest is fucking boiling!" I drop the knife on the table. I look down, telling myself not to cry.
"Well, it is natural that we take care of you and take your side, what with you being our adopted sister!" There's that fucking word, again. I'm biting my lips, not to cry.
I scoff, "Are you caring about me? Or do you care about the fact that I am different? Yes, I have darker skin than you all. Yes, I made a successful business at 19. Yes, I have more salary than you guys. Don't you have the right to have the longest conversation we had in years until now? I'm sorry that I am different... And I am proud to be different.''
I look at my family's faces and they're all speechless and sympathetic for me. "Enjoy your slice." I put down a slice of cake on a plate on the table and left the house.
I sit on a park bench, thinking about what I said to my family. Have I caused too much honesty? Am I broken in life? Do I miss Benjamin that much? He makes me feel alive, and open to myself. The feeling in your stomach of butterflies. The chills up to my arms. My heart burst out. I keep thinking about Benjamin's monologue about his feelings towards me. "Yes, we're different. In terms and views... Doesn't matter."
Maybe it doesn't matter. I pull up my phone and call Benjamin to join me at the park. Strangely, the phone keeps telling me the number has not been recognized. Repeatedly. I called Benjamin before at the same number and he answered. I hang up and walk home.
As I start to get ready to go to bed, my phone is ringing and I look to see who it is. Della. "Hi, Del."
"Hiya, sis. That was dramatic." I laugh. "I'm sorry you felt left out all this time. I'm trying to be a better sister, but I got my own shit as you do."
"Della. You're the best sister that I could ask for and it's the truth. I also remember that you were blessed to have another girl in the family..." I hear Della smiling, "I'm sorry I intervened in your story with Emily if I did."
"No, sis. You didn't, you know me. I never understood the feelings I have until this morning. Your speech inspires me and I told Emily that I love her. And she's sleeping over." I smile for Della, so happy for her owning up her feelings. "I'm sorry about Benjamin's deal, is everything ok, now?"
"Come on, Della, you got shit to do, remember? Spending time with Emily, she's worth it. I'm basically the captain of your ship, so..." I hear Della laugh. "Have a great night!"
"Alright, Dahlia. Talk to you later." I hang up and start walking to my bed in my nightgown. I lay against my headboard and start to read The Complete Poems Of Emily Dickinson when my phone starts ringing again on my dresser. I put my bookmark on the page and pick up the phone without looking at who's calling. "Hello?"
"Lia." It was Benjamin! I look at my screen, it has a different number. "I miss you, Lia..."
"I miss you, too. I tried calling you before, but it kept saying the number has not been recognized."
"I'm sorry to keep you waiting, my phone was in my jeans. Being the doofus I am, I wash my jeans." He laugh, but I didn't laugh, even though I'm sort of smiling when he uses the word, doofus. "Look, I have been doing a lot of thinking about our last conversation. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding between you or us."
"No, you don't deserve to apologize, I should be sorry too for bursting into you like that. This is my first relationship. I guess you could say that I don't know very well."
"Look, I don't care about that... I just want to move on, to get things back where we were." Ok, is it normal for him to act like that? Pretend that it didn't happen? "So you got updates from Anna?" I told him the news about my book, and of course, he would support it. We talk for hours about what happened for the last few days until I hear him yawn. "Well, I'm tired." We both laugh. "It's great to hear your voice, Lia."
I smile, "You too... Maybe we can have our week together in Devon?"
"I would love to. Goodnight, Lia."
"Good night, Benjamin." He hang up, and I look to see how much time we spent talking together almost two hours. I smile with warmth knowing Benjamin is back into my life, but why is there a pit in my stomach... An incident that I should be worried about, I choose to finish reading my book to ignore it. Knowing that I would be dreaming of Benjamin...