march 1780.
--
To Elizabeth Schuyler,
I had written so far when the express arrived with your dear billet under cover of one from your guardian. I cannot tell you what extacy I felt in casting my eye over the sweet effusions of tenderness it contains. My Betsey's soul speaks in every line and bids me be the happiest of mortals. I am so and will be so. You give me too many proofs of your love to allow me to doubt it and in the conviction that I possess that, I possess every thing the world can give. The good Meade had the kindness to tell me that you received my letter with apparent marks of joy and that you retired with eagerness to read it. Tis from circumstances like these we best discover the true sentiments of the heart. Yours upon every occasion testifies that it is intirely mine. But notwithstanding all I have to thank you and to love you for, I have a little quarrel with you. I will not permit you to say you do not deserve the preference I give you, you deserve all I think of you and more and let me tell you your diffidence with so many charms is an unpardonable amiableness. I am pleased with it however on one account which is that it will induce you to call your good qualities into full activity, and there is nothing I shall always delight in more than to assist you in unfolding them in their highest perfection. I have spun out this letter much longer than I intended. It is now half an hour past our time of meeting. I must bid you adieu. Adieu my charmer; take care of your self and love your Hamilton as well as he does you. God bless you
AH
--
that was only a portion of the sweet letters alexander would write me, while we were not together.
i'll admit, we had only known each other for a small amount of time, but he had won me over quickly. he had a way with words, and he surely had my heart.
i had fallen deep for him, and our desire to see each other only grew stronger and stronger as we exchanged letters.
there was never a moment where i doubted my love for him, and hopefully he felt the same.
i only had one worry. my family. i am lucky enough to come from a wealthy, loving, and whole family. i had 14 other siblings, and i have 2 with my side every day.
alexander was not as lucky. his father left at a young age, and his mother and him grew ill when he was 12. alexander barely made it, his mother did not. a hurricane had destroyed his hometown in the caribbean, and he was left alone for some large number of years.
people of his hometown were so in awe of his writing talents, they passed a plate around, and worked hard enough to get him sent out to america.
and yes, he is a member of washington's staff, but still, he is still a poor man.
i will always be able to see past. i love him for him.
i'm worried my family won't.
my family does think he is a charming young man, but we've kept a romance private.
i don't even share it with my sisters, in case of rumors spreading or mama and papa finding out in a way i don't wish for them to.
i believe he understands where i'm coming from, but i don't want him to think i'm ashamed of being with him.
i've tried my hardest to suppress my worries, but they only grow larger, as me and hamilton planned to married.
in december.
a majority of my siblings have eloped without either of my parents blessing, but i hope to get my fathers.
i just pray he doesn't disapprove.
which i why i've asked hamilton write to my father. he has more talent in writing than i ever will, and i trust him dearly.
which is why i've asked him to stop by. i want to be there while the letter is written, and see if i can provide my assistance.
i sat in my bedroom, awaiting his arrival. i had laid out a quil, and several sheets of paper out on my desk, so he was prepared.
"betsey?" i heard outside my door.
"come in." i replied, looking up at my door.
peggy poked her head inside my room. "you have a visitor." she smirked.
i rolled my eyes playfully. "let him in."
she opened the door, and alexander walked in. peggy closed the door, and i ran over to my soon-to-be spouse.
i embraced him tightly, as if we hadn't seen each other in years.
"how i've missed you." he whispered to me, as he released from my embrace
"i could say the same." i smiled whole-heartedly, and sat back down on my bed.
he sat at my desk, admiring the laid out supplies, but turned to speak with me.
"how have you been?" i asked, eager to hear about his life when we were apart.
"frustrated." he said bluntly, sighing to himself.
"what?" i asked.
"i wish i had even a single command instead of manning george's journal." he admitted. "the last time i've been able to fight in a war was 1778. 2 whole years, eliza."
i nodded, understanding his anger and frustration.
"now, i spend my time aiding john laurens in recruiting slaves for the continental army, and offering them freedom in return. i have the title of an 'aide-de-camp', and 'lieutenant colonel', but i don't feel like one."
"alex.." i started. "you must be patient. your time will come, my dear. i promise you."
he sighed, "i know."
all he wanted to do was fight. i understand where his anger comes from, but i'm glad. i just want him to be safe. especially at a time like this, i couldn't bear how i'd feel if i'd lose him in the thing he wanted most.
"but.." he continued. "no more talking about me. let me write your letter."
i jumped up from my bed, in excitement, and watched as he brainstormed the write way to word the letter to my father.
watching him write, was the most fascinating thing in the world. i loved when he would take pauses to re read his wording, or ask myself if he had spelt a word correctly.
i walked over to my desk, and watched as he wrote away.
"eliza, i feel you breathing onto my neck." he chuckled.
i backed away, laughing along with him. "i'm anxious." i sighed.
"why?" he asked, turning away from his letter to look at me.
"my family doesn't know about us. i don't want this to come as a shock." i admitted. "i am praying, my father will say yes."
he nodded. "i understand. but, there is no doubt in my mind your father will understand, and approve."
i nodded, having faith in words, and allowing him to get back to work.
and in a short amount of time, he had written:
...I cannot forbear indulging my feelings, by entreating you to accept the assurances of my gratitude for your kind compliance with my wishes to be united to your amiable daughter. I leave it to my conduct rather than expressions to testify the sincerity of my affection for her— the respect I have for her parents— the desire I shall always feel to justify their confidence and merit their friendship. May I hope Madam, you will not consider it as mere profession, when I add, that though I have not the happiness of a personal acquaintence with you, I am no stranger to the qualities which distinguish your character and these make the relation in which I shall stand to you, not one of the least pleasing circumstances of my union with your daughter...
(full letter: https://founders.archives.gov/documents/Hamilton/01-02-02-0622)