BACK TO THE PRESENT
MEGUMI'S POV:
It's been one year since the breakup. I've moved out from Chicago to New York for my internship.
It was one of those nights where I'm looking for something to comfort me. I was sitting on the couch in the dark, gloomy living room, mindlessly staring at the empty beer bottles all over the table. It was my sanctuary, a place to run away from the painful reality. Y/N's dad made her move to a new city to continue her studies ever since we broke up. I bet she's happier now. I bet she's found someone new. It seemed so selfish of me, but I hope she hasn't actually moved on. I hope she still wonders about me.
After all this time, my love for her still burns constant and unshakable. I don't think I would ever love another person as deep as Y/N. I still miss her like crazy. The moments we've shared together - the memories that used to warm my heart kept coming back to haunt me, making me feel so powerless. The teddy bear that I bought her for her birthday was still laying in my closet. I've never gotten the chance to give it to her.
I wonder what went through her mind the day I stopped replying to her texts, and the day she dialed my number only to find that it's been disconnected. She probably thought I was nothing but a cold-hearted jerk, and that I've probably moved on. But the truth is, it took everything in me not to call her - to tell her that I still love her, that I've never wanted this to happen, that I've made a promise to her dad I'd never see her again.
She hasn't left my mind ever. I still think of her every night. Sometimes, I see her in my dreams - dreams of her laying in my arms, and I asked if she'd like to try it again with me. But before she responds, I always seem to wake up. I wish I've never woken up.
Love... What is the meaning of it? Does it even exist? I wouldn't even have to think about it if Y/N hadn't appeared in my life that day... Not until the day I lost her...
There was a knock on the door and then it opened. It startled me. Who in the world would barge into my apartment at this hour? Wait.. it was Gojo.
"Gojo, how did you manage to get into my apartment?" I asked.
"YO Fushiguro, whatchu doing?" said Itadori, walking behind Gojo.
Ahh. No wonder. Itadori has extra keys to my new place.
"I brought you more beer you've asked for," Itadori said, handing me a bag full of beer bottles. I almost forgot about it.
"Thanks," I said, took one of the beer bottles from the bag, opened it, and took a sip.
"EH? Since when do you drink so much, Megumi?" Gojo asked.
"None of your business" I mumbled, avoiding eye contact.
"Ngaww... Don't talk to me like that," said Gojo, sulking in a playful manner.
I walked back to the couch. Itadori followed and sat next to me, holding a bottle of beer in his hands.
"It's okay, Megumi. It's a Saturday. You can drink as much as you want. We're here to help you feel better" said Itadori with an upbeat smile on his face, patting my back cheerfully.
"Thanks, Itadori," I said to him.
We continued drinking. Gojo joined in. My mind got blurry and foggy, but at least the pain was gone, temporarily. I couldn't remember how much time had passed and how many beers we've drunk, but Itadori was already on the ground, sound asleep.
Gojo was still sitting next to me, slouching on the couch, but still sober.
"Have you talked to her ever since you've broken up?" Gojo asked.
"No," I said.
"Ahh..." said Gojo, putting his arms on my shoulders to console me.
"Megumi, You've done your best for both of you. You've ended it to protect her. The breakup was unavoidable. I know it's not what you both wanted but some relationships are not meant to be, even though two can love each other so much. It's painful for me, seeing you like this... Anger, loneliness, guilt, and disappointment... All these emotions are valid and you should make room for them. Acknowledge them. That's the only way that you can grief about your love and relationship with Y/N. Neglecting them is pretending like your relationship never existed." Gojo continued.
"Gojo, it has already been a year. But I still couldn't forget her" I said.
"Healing takes as long as it takes, Megumi. Don't pressure yourself because a year has passed. Everyone has their own unique way of processing a breakup. This is simply yours." said Gojo.
I took a long pause, then said "Do you think she's moved on? After all, I was the one who hurt her. It's easier for her to move on since she probably hates me."
"Honestly, we'll never know. And it doesn't matter anymore. Whether or not she's moved on shouldn't affect your journey. Right now, it's time to focus on yourself. Do what's best for yourself, Megumi" said Gojo and flicked my forehead.
I covered my forehead and glared at him, furrowing my eyebrows. Gojo gave me a big hug but I pushed him away.
"No no no, that's enough for tonight," I said.
"Ahh, I see," Gojo said and playfully nuzzled my hair.
"Gojo..." I said while giving him the side-eye.
Y/N's POV:
I moved to New York with my dad ever since Megumi left me. We lived on the 19th floor of one of the tallest skyscrapers in the city. And I've finally completed my degree. New city. New apartment. New job. My surroundings may have drastically changed, but my feelings for him haven't.
Staring at the moon glimmering in the charcoal black sky from my glass window apartment brought me solace - as it reminded me that even though Megumi and I are apart forever, we're still under the same sky, looking at the same moon.
I felt so stupid. Why do I still long for someone who has stopped loving me? Someone who left me - taking a fragment of my soul with him? I guess my heart just wants what it wants. I never knew love would hurt so bad. And now I've been picking up the broken pieces, mourning for a love that was never meant to last.
I've been on a few casual dates, but they don't measure up to being with Megumi. Being with someone new only made me miss him more because it only reminded me that they're not him.
Burying myself into work has been my only escape. It was the only moment where I can put him at the back of my mind. But once the night came and it's time to sleep, I laid wide away, haunted by the memories that used to make me smile, by all the "what-ifs" of what we could've been. The mental images of his smile in my head that used to give me strength have now become nothing but a curse, breaking my heart all over again. I drowned in the random thoughts of him, slowly killing me inside like death by a thousand cuts. But no matter how much pain these memories have given me, my heart refused to let go.
It was one of those nights again... I darted my eyes to the clock, it's 12 am.
"Fuck... I can't sleep. But I have to get up early for work tomorrow." I whispered to myself.
I got out of my bed to get some water in the kitchen. I walked past Dad's working room and noticed his laptop screen still on and his desk was a mess.
"Dad?" I said as I walked into the room. Dad wasn't there.
I walked to his bedroom. The door was wide open but he wasn't there either. I let out a huge sigh. Where is he?
I walked back to the kitchen to get a glass of water, then walked into Dad's working room. I put the glass of water on Dad's working desk and started organizing his files on his messy desk. After all, organizing is one way to distract my mind from my thoughts.
I knocked over the glass of water and spilled water all over the files and paperwork. Shit! Dad's gonna be pissed. Why am I always so clumsy? I quickly grabbed the glass to prevent it from rolling down to the floor, walked to the kitchen to get a kitchen cloth, and back to the room, attempting to dry the wet paperwork.
Something on the paperwork caught my attention, something familiar. I looked at it closely and realized the names "FUSHIGURO MEGUMI" and "FUSHIGURO TOJI" were written on them.
Wait? Why is my ex-boyfriend's name on one of Dad's documents? Has he been stalking him? This is so suspicious. Toji? Isn't that my ex's biological father?
I grabbed the documents to have a closer look at what was written. I couldn't believe what I read. Today was the day I found out everything about Megumi's past.
His biological father was a serial killer who owned one of the dangerous drug empires in Japan. And as a child, Megumi was forced to run his father's illegal errands. Megumi's mother ran away after Megumi exposed his father's crimes to the police. Ever since Toji broke out of prison, my dad set out to track him down. There were also research papers on child psychology, concluding that if a child is exposed to violence and murder, there's a high chance the child will develop a potential intergenerational cycle of violence.
Things were getting more suspicious. Did my dad secretly talk to Megumi and make him break up with me? Knowing him, it's very likely this is the case.
I went through more of Dad's files on the side of the desk to find out more about the case.
I flipped through the pages and stumbled upon an image of a dead body with deep puncture wounds, lying face down on the ground with a pool of blood. My eyes widened when I found out that the dead body was actually my mother, and how she was stabbed twenty-two times by Toji with a kitchen knife. I couldn't believe what I saw. I couldn't breathe. My hands went numb, trembling with cold sweat. I took a step back, trying to recollect my thoughts. But all the memories I had with my mother hit me like a train. I missed her. I missed her so much. I couldn't believe she's gone through so much pain during her final moments. My throat thickened, bitter tears filling up my eyes.
What... the... fuck... Let me get this straight. So, Megumi's dad... killed... my mom?
I couldn't breathe.
Fuck....
This is so fucked up...
I fucking hate him! I hope he fucking rots in prison.
The pain in my chest was growing inside me like a tumor. A great sense of weariness sweeps over me, sucking my energy with it.
I was sobbing profusely.
But this isn't Megumi's fault...
Then, my frustration towards Dad kicked in. He has been hiding this information from me all this time. I knew he was doing this to protect me, but it was unfair. I deserved to know how my mother died and who killed her. He couldn't just protect me from the truth forever.
Everything slowly made sense. My suspicion towards Dad grew deeper. He must've had something to do with the breakup. Everything Megumi said when he broke up with me started ringing in my head, and I became more determined than ever to gather more information - to prove that Dad was indeed behind this.
I logged into Dad's iMessage through his laptop to see if there were any messages between him and Megumi.
After some intensive searching and filtering, a familiar number popped up - Megumi's old number. I knew it. I clicked into the chatbox to read what they talked about. The conversations went like this:
Nanami: Hi Megumi, this is Nanami, Y/N's father. Are you free tomorrow morning? I have something important to talk to you about. Just you and me. And don't tell Y/N about this.
Megumi: Hi Nanami-san, sure. Where shall we meet?
Nanami: 10 am, at the same cafe we met a week ago.
Megumi: Okay. See you then.
Nanami: Have you broken up with Y/N yet?
Megumi: Not yet. But I will do it soon.
Megumi: Hi Nanami-san, I've broken up with her today. And I won't be seeing her or contacting her anymore.
Nanami: Good.
Anger was twisting inside of me. I was right all along. I clenched my jaw and slammed my hand on the table.
"Y/N, what are you doing?" I heard Dad's voice from behind. I turned around and saw him standing at the door.
"What is this?" I lashed out.
Dad let out a huge sigh and said "Look, I can explain. It's my duty to protect you–"
"Why? Because I'm not capable of protecting myself? When will you ever trust me? You had every chance to explain to me but you chose to keep in the dark... like always... I have never said anything when you always make us move from town to town. I just let it go because I know you love and care for me, and you always want to protect me. BUT THIS? This is too much! How could you ask Megumi to break up with me?" I yelled, gulping down my sobs, my body quivering with rage.
"But..." said Dad.
"But! You decide... You always had to decide what's best for me and how I should live my life. Mom died because she witnessed Toji selling drugs to her brother. Toji killed her to cover up his tracks. But that doesn't mean that Megumi is anything like him. Mom did what she believed was right. She tried to stop her brother from getting more drugs. Look me in the eyes and tell me if what mom did wasn't the right thing to do? Because I would have done the same." I continued.
Dad went silent for a moment, looking down at the floor. Then, he looked at me again and said: "You're right... Your mum was a beautiful and strong woman which is why I love and miss her so much. I can never forgive what Toji did to her that night. I don't want to lose you like I lost your mom. I can't handle that. Your mom would never forgive me for that either."
"Oh... Dad..." I walked up towards Dad and gave him a hug. "We'll get through this. We will find Toji and put an end to this. But Megumi... He's nothing like Toji at all. I'm not saying this just because I love him. I'm saying this because I have seen it myself. And dad... I already read everything in your files. You don't have to hide all this from me anymore."
"I didn't know you were this quick," said Dad, raising his eyebrows.
"If I didn't have a talent for art, I would have been an investigator myself too." I joked and let out a chuckle.
"Don't you dare, Y/N. That's never gonna happen. Not under my watch!" Dad joked back.
I snickered at his comment "So Dad... we're good?"
"Yes, we are..." said Dad.
"Oh... and where were you just now? You weren't in the house." I asked.
"I went out to meet up with my colleague. Gathering more information to hunt Toji down"
"Alright. I'll go back to bed and try to sleep" I said as I rubbed my eyes.
"Y/N, wait," said Dad. His voice sounded urgent.
"Hm?" I looked at him curiously.
"I have something for you," said Dad as he grabbed my hand and put something on it. "Here"
"A ring?" I looked at him in confusion.
"Not just any ring. But a ring disguised as a tracking device. With Toji roaming freely right now, I figure it would be a safe backup plan to give this to you. It might come in handy one day. If you happened to see him, press the diamond on the ring and it would immediately alert the FBI your location" said Dad.
"Oh, I see. Interesting. Got it!" I said and put the ring on my index finger.
"Good night, Y/N," Dad patted me on the back and walked into his room.
"Good night, dad"
If I'm being honest, I didn't get any sleep at all that night. I was sobbing, still in shock after finding out about the truth, still in disbelief about how my mother died, still hurt about the relationship with Megumi that I can never retrieve.