I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling of my new room, thinking about my first day yesterday. The good. The bad. The last couple of weeks have been such a whirlwind. Before then, I was in complete control of my life. I thought I knew what my future would be, and I liked it. Now, I don't know what each day will bring. I feel like a drifting boat with no sails or anchor - just waiting to see what the weather and waves will do to me next.
Our mate will be our safety. My wolf reminds me.
After last night, my doubt seeps right back in.
"Well, what if he doesn't want me? What if he is cruel to me? Or worse, what if he doesn't like chocolate? You told me we could reject him, if we feel it's necessary." I tell her.
Our mate will be perfect for us. Our completion. She has complete confidence.
"But if he's not..."
I won't take the choice from you. We will do what we must.
I feel her absolute conviction in our mate. I've held this fear for so long, it's hard for me to just believe that he'll be perfect for me. Although now, what am I fighting this for? All of my plans have been snatched away from me. I thought he would cause that, not just life throwing me lemons.
I rub my face with my hands, and hear a knock on the door.
I jerk up to a sitting position. Who is knocking at my door so early? It's only...oh...9:30AM.
"Umm...who is it?" I ask, uncertainly.
"It's Kiara." I can hear the nervousness in her voice.
Kiara? Great. I must have done something wrong. There's no way she's here on a social visit.
I grumpily yank the covers off of me and walk to the door, dreading getting chewed out. I open it to see Kiara wearing jeans and a deep purple t-shirt, holding a variety of breakfast foods, some of them were the things we prepared last night. Oh man, what did I screw up? I look to Kiara's face and she's biting her lip, trying to hold in a grin? Her eyes are looking toward the ceiling. Uh oh.
"Do you normally answer your door with no pants or is this show just for me?" She asks, then giggles adorably.
At first, I'm a little embarrassed, but now that I see her genuinely laughing, I decide maybe this is exactly what we need to start a potential friendship. I'm already missing the banter between myself, Iris, and Kristy.
I put a hand on my hip and smile, "Well, if it helps to make up for whatever I must have messed up on that tray, then it's just for you, babe!" I laugh and give her an exaggerated wink.
"Can I come in?" She asks, tentatively.
"Of course." I say, and move out of the way. I think about putting on pants, but at this point, she's already seen it. And let's be honest, life is just better when you don't have to wear pants. I mean, it IS my room and I should be able to dress how I want. At least I'm wearing a respectable pair of cotton underwear and not totally see through underwear, like some of the ones Kristy got me.
She moves my little plant to the window sill and sets down her tray of food. We both sit down and grab something to eat.
"And to answer your earlier questions, nothing is wrong with what we made." She clarifies, through a mouthful of muffin.
Phew. That would be way more embarrassing for me than the no pants thing.
"I didn't see you at breakfast, so I figured you might want some, before it got totally eaten up." She shrugs.
Is this some kind of peace offering? A friendship offering? Yes, I'll take it!! I'm confused at her total shift from not talking to me at all to this, but beggars can't be choosers.
"Wow, that's really thoughtful." I tell her sincerely. Then, thinking I may as well, I add with a wink, "Just wait until you see how I answer the door tomorrow, after this!"
She smiles another genuine smile, then looks around the room.
"It looks really great in here." She comments, then bites her lip again. "So I had another motive for bringing you breakfast." She hesitates. "You mentioned last night that you had to come here against your will. What did you mean by that?"
Ugh. While she's being really nice and seems genuine this morning, I'm not sure if I want to go into everything with her. I don't know yet if I can trust her. I guess I can tell her the bullet points. I swallow a big bite of cinnamon bagel.
"So," I begin, "I told you I was working at The Sweet Tooth. Well, the Alpha came in for our inspection, since they're inspecting all of the pack businesses." I pause. "Alex was with them. He tried one of my desserts. A week later, Iris - my boss - gets a call, saying that I'm going to be working at the pack house, effective immediately, per his request." I sigh, feeling the sadness creep in.
I glance up at her, and she's looking steadily at me, with a serious look on her face.
"Alex recruited me into this position too. I had actually been..." She got cut off, by a sharp knock on the door.
What the heck? I've lived here for like two seconds. Who could THAT be and why am I so popular?
"Sarah?" I recognize Alex's voice. Kiara and I both shoot up out of our seats, with wide eyes, and I feel my wolf start pacing. Kiara points to my bathroom door, and I nod, thinking that I must have been correct about them having issues. As she makes her way to the bathroom, I jerk open one of my drawers to find some yoga pants.
"Just a second!" I call out. I'm definitely not answering the door to him, without pants. I also throw on a t-shirt over my camisole top, for good measure. As I'm throwing my clothes on, I wonder how much of our conversation he heard. When we build, we make sure to sound proof the walls. Otherwise, everyone would be up in everyone's business all the time. Doors are a little different, and have to be specially ordered, to seal a room into being completely soundproof. These are clearly not those special doors, because I spoke with Kiara and now Alex, through the door. If he made an effort to listen at the door, he could probably hear us.
I walk over to the door and open it a bit, standing in the doorway, so he knows I'm not inviting him in.
His blue eyes flick over my body, and he smiles. Ew. Then, he glances behind me into my room, like he's looking for something. My stomach turns. He definitely heard some of our conversation. He's wearing khakis and a red polo shirt. I wonder if he works at Target in his spare time. I try not to smile at that, as I wait for him to explain why the heck he's here.
He looks back at me, "I just wanted to stop by and see if you wanted to have lunch in my office today. I was able to talk to you-know-who and got the information we need." He wiggles his eyebrows conspiratorially.
I smile politely. "I'm so sorry! I actually have plans for lunch today. If you want to just let me know the flavors, I can come up with something..."
His smile fades. "No. I want to be hands on for this. Why don't you just bring dessert to my office again tonight. Same time. We can discuss this then." He abruptly turns sharply and walks down the hall. I follow him with my eyes to make sure he's really leaving, then gently close the door, leaning against it. I let out a big sigh.
I hear Kiara opening the bathroom door. She steps out, and the light mood is gone.
"What was that about?" She asks quietly.
Remembering he told me not to tell the staff about the surprise, but not wanting to ruin our tenuous bond, I say, "He wanted me to make some special desserts...for...the visiting packs. He just wanted to give me more instructions, I guess." That seemed plausible enough, but I'm not sure if I convinced her.
"Okay." She glances around the room. "Well, I'm going to go. If you need anything, I'm down the hall in 310. I'll see you in a few hours." And with that, she quickly made her exit and closed the door.
Cool. So now it feels like I'm back at square one with Kiara. What is her deal? And Alex? Ugh. I don't really have lunch plans, but no way was I going to commit to - at minimum - a whole hour with him. Hard pass. He acted like I disobeyed an Alpha command, which thankfully, he can't give yet. I'm on bad terms with everyone I guess.
I kick my pants off angrily and crawl back under my covers.