Every minute has its duty. Every timing has a purpose. From a few weeks ago, I went through the same routine until he. Benjamin. I have a smile on my face that I cannot control. I decide to show Benjamin my other side of my life, Devon. A house I own and built with my money, seeing Benjamin exploring my part of life gives me joy and trust in myself. I drive to my home, and Benjamin smiles with sparkles in his eyes.
"Wow! Lia, it looks incredible," said Benjamin with a huge smile on his face.
"Well, it's more incredible inside," I tease him, "Come on!" I walk upon my front door and let Benjamin come in, "Mi casa es tu casa." Benjamin and I giggle as he comes inside.
I guide him to my living room, my kitchen, my office/library where he teased putting my new book, Pride and Prejudice, on the shelf by The Giver, and finally my bedroom. "Lia, you're so lucky...," I smile at him and hug him. "Now what is our plan for today?"
I look at him thinking, "I don't know... Don't have the neighborhood around or family dragging me around now so... " I smile at him and Benjamin is giving me a suggestive look in his eyes and he is thinking the same thing. I pull him down to kiss him and he kisses me back. I'm walking backward till I have fallen down on my bed. I giggle at him and he deepens the kiss when suddenly my phone rings.
I look up at my dial phone on my dresser and Benjamin keeps kissing me, "Don't pick up." He deepens the kiss and starts to kiss on my collar bone until my phone keeps ringing. Benjamin has gotten annoyed with it and starts to answer the phone, "Whoever I'm chatting with has ruined our moment." I put my hands on my face embarrassed, "It's your mum..." OH MY GOD!!!
He give me a receiver, embarrassed chuckling at me, "Hi, Mom. I'm sorry Benjamin's being a doofus." He gazes at me.
"Honey, you have Leo's bike?" I look confused by what she was asking, and she read my thought, "Leo has your spare key and he wants it back from your home. He said he dropped it off in your backyard. Do you think you can bring it back here when you can, darling?"
I nod, "Yeah, Mom, I'll bring it back. I'll meet you there." I hang up on the receiver and look at Benjamin, "Leo forgot his bike from my backyard, and I have to return it to him. Will you come?" Benjamin nods and he walks out of my room.
After Benjamin brings Leo's bike to my car, we're on our way to Mom's house. My mom's house is a little bigger than mine, but at least she feels peaceful and happy by herself with my brother, that's all I care about. Benjamin being a gentleman of bringing a bike to Mom's door, and I knock on her door. She's wearing her natural clothes of sweater and leggings with her curly hair as I am wearing my blacktop tucked with my belted jeans with a denim jacket and grey sneakers with my naturally wavy hair. I hug my mom, and say hello to her with a smile on my face, while she has a trigger of nervousness on her face. I know why. "Is Dad here?" She nods and walks back to the kitchen. I look at Benjamin, and he is concerned for me too.
Benjamin and I walk to the kitchen together. There he is. An asshole with a cycling outfit sitting down while Mom makes his tea. Edward looks at me, "Hi, Dahlia." Sudden flashback when he was touching my thighs when we're having a family dinner. He looks at Benjamin, "And you must be...?"
"Benjamin." He grabs my right hand, knowing that he's there with me. Holding my hand... "I'm guessing you're-"
"Ted."
I took a seat at the table in front of Edward with Benjamin. I saw Mom coming back with milk preparing for the tea. I ask Mom if she needs help and she ignores me (focusing on the tea), knowing it's not toward me. "Chivalrous, as well, my goodness!" I look at him harshly to not say a word that will make me hit him with a frying pan. He looks at him, "So how are you enjoying your maiden voyage, Benjamin?"
"Devon, you mean?"
"The house, how are you enjoying being in Dahlia's house? Little bird told me that you are just welcome to my daughter's home."
Benjamin looks at me, smiling, "Lia's done a lovely job..." I smile at him as he is still holding my hand, my left hand this time. Edward smiles at him, smugly.
"LEO, FOR THE FOURTH TIME, YOUR FATHER'S HERE!!!" My mom reminds Leo, nicely as I might add. While he is still sleeping upstairs or doing something.
"Mom, want me to hit him with a pillow to wake him up?" Hoping to make her smile or laugh. She didn't, still triggered by Edward.
Leo enters the room, "All right, Dad?" He does a bro handshake with Edward, and looks at me and Benjamin, "Benjamin, hiya sis..."
I walk to Leo, "Next time, you want to borrow my spare key, let me know." I hug Leo and I reach his back pocket and get my key. Leo smiles at me. "How are you, brother?" He nods saying he's fine and I lean on the kitchen counter while Mom is still making the tea.
Leo points to Benjamin, "Dad, I see you just met Benjamin."
Benjamin replies, "Yeah, it's good to see you, Leo. Lia and I brought your cycle back in the front." Leo nods back.
Edward informs Leo that Benjamin is just enjoying our family's home. "Served us well, right Leo? Happy memories and all that." He looks at Leo, then at me. Flashback of him fingering me and choking me to stay quiet in my bedroom at 13. I'm crossing my arms and Benjamin notices it from the table. Edward asks mom, "How's that tea coming along?"
I look at Mom muttering that we need it to have it black due to the expired milk, I was going to help her, but Benjamin got ahead. "Julia, I'll help." He held on to Mom's hand to let her know that he could do it for her, and she smiles quietly, and leave the room. I smile at Benjamin and follow my mom to her office.
"Hey, Mom? You're all right?"
She turns to me and nods, and I know she wasn't due to Edward. I hug my mom tightly, letting her know that I am here. She pulls away to look at me, "Dahlia, I'm sorry to bring you and Benjamin the troubles."
"No, you didn't, Mom. I'm happy to remind my brother's memory loss of his responsibility." She laughs, it's to see her laugh after the incident. "I couldn't leave Benjamin alone so I ask, and he accepts." I smile at her.
"He is a gentleman, Dahlia. I really like him. All I care about you and him is that I hope he doesn't hurt you." I shakes my head and said to Mom that he won't. He's not Edward. I smile Mom and my mom leave the office to say goodbye to her son along with Edward.
Benjamin enters the room, "I'm sorry for the inference. I want to help you and Mom from Ted," I grab his head and kiss him to thank him.
"I want to get out of here." Benjamin nods and kisses my head. I start to collect my things and see Mom in the front door, talking to Edward until he cycles away with his son. "Mom, Benjamin, and I are leaving. Are you ok with yourself?"
"Oh darling, I'm fine. I know Leo will come back. Probably going to take a nap." She hugs me and kisses my cheek. "Thank you, Benjamin." She hugs him and lets him go. Benjamin and I say our goodbyes to Mom as she waves her goodbye. I hate to leave her alone in the house after the incident. All I want to do with her is watch classic-comedy movies and eat chocolate cake from the bakery together. But I have Benjamin's company now... is he worth it, not spending time with my family? I want to show Benjamin something as I drive to the destination that he will enjoy.
I drive on a passage in the woods and get out of the car. I lean against the hood of my car, waiting for Benjamin to join. "So, you're here to kidnap me, right?" I laugh, shake my head.
"I wanna show you another part of my life here." I walk to the end passage holding Benjamin's hand. "Whenever I have trouble writing or all the noises in my head need quiet, I come here to find the place. My sanctuary. One day, I was walking here and I found it." I look up to Benjamin listening to me, I point to my place, "There." I walk behind Benjamin, heading toward my sanctuary in the woods. A grey, old stone bench in front of a tree. A big tree with branches of life.
I look at Benjamin's reaction full of astonishment and he smiles at me. "Wow..." Benjamin sits on the bench as I sit by him on his left. "It's beautiful and quiet." I laugh
"It's especially beautiful in autumn. The colors, and mix of cool/warmth temperature, and hearing the leaves blow into the sky." I look at Benjamin gazing at me, no doubt he makes me warm inside. I scooch over to him as he puts his arm around my shoulders, and let me lay on my head on his shoulder.
Minutes pass time, hearing the bird chirpers, and close to winter temperature of cold; laying aside warmth with him. This is the first time I show my sanctuary to anyone; keeping me in peace. I look up to see his eyes, "I wanna see you in another part of your life. Friends. I would like to meet some of your friends." He nods and kisses me in a place full of beauty and quiet.
Driving back on a train to London, I was full of excitement and nervousness meeting Benjamin's friends. I never really socialize with people due to my career. The only friends I have in life so far are my editor, Anna, and the publishing company, and my computer. I haven't heard any news from Anna about the poems I work on for 30 hours. I dress up in a grey blazer with white lines and a white top with skinny jeans. I brush my hair into a messy wavy ponytail and put on my small diamond stud earrings.
When I'm finishing my natural look with lip gloss in the bathroom, I hear Benjamin arguing on the phone in my room. "And I have heard you. And I am telling you that I am working on it, all right?" Benjamin saw my reflection in the mirror, looking at him with concern as I'm putting on my lip gloss. I walk to my closet, getting my white platform shoes (still not feeling high heels). I sit on my bed, tying my shoes as I look at Benjamin with concern. "Yeah. All right, okay." He hangs up on his call.
As I'm finished with my shoes, I get up to comfort Benjamin. "Hey, is everything ok?" I grab his hand while he's putting his phone in his back pocket in his jeans.
"Yeah, it's fine... it's just PPI nonsense. You look beautiful." I smile, still concerned about him.
"Thank you..." I gather my stuff as he gathers his. As he calls the taxi, we are on our way to meet his friends.
I enter the bar with nervousness. Thinking if I dress up formally for the first meeting, or have too much makeup on or a paparazzi would be here. Benjamin clearly read my expression and comforted me till we reach the table with two people. A long blonde hair girl in her close 30s and a man who seems in his 30s. "Get a room," said Benjamin jokingly.
A man says, "Bugger off."
Benjamin and a man exchange bro hugs and Benjamin introduces me as Lia instead of Dahlia to his friends, knowing I'm private of my spotlight. Benjamin introduces me to a young blonde, beautiful woman name Bianca, and a reprobate (Benjamin's word, not mine) name Zac.
After the exchanges our introductions and sitting down on our chairs, Zac begins the conversation, " I say we devise a reason to get rid of Benji here, and then we can give you the lowdown on his most dire character traits."
Benjamin grabs my hand to comfort me, "Oh, I think we can spare her the war stories, don't you?"
"Fine, I'll just have to settle for grilling you, Lia, on how this fledgling romance came into being."
Bianca finally speaks a European language to Zac and points out to me, "Forgive him, Lia. He's excitable." I laugh.
"So, shoot me, I'm excited. Benjamin out past eight." I look at Benjamin embarrassed by Zac. "And introducing us to a lady, no less" He knocks on the table, "Now, I need some deets. Is this a set-up, or an organized vibe? I'm sensing no to Tinder." Bianca and Zac laugh.
I answer, "It was just by chance, in a library."
Zac drinks his champagne, "A library? You lucky fuck. I can't even pick it up in a bar." Bianca interrupts him that he is not trying. He meant it in the past tense in scout's honor.
Benjamin comment to Zac, "I don't believe for one minute they let you in the Scouts." I laugh.
Zac pulls aside to me, "Tell me his opening gambit."
"Well, we were both looking for the same book. He told me he hasn't read it, and I let him have it. Mostly he was charming and handsome at the moment." I gaze at him and he turns to his friends.
"Remember guys? It was the research of Jane Austen's work, Pride and Prejudice."
Bianca says, "The greatest creation by her! You did some good research, Benjamin, for two days." She smiles.
"Well, it has become my favorite." Benjamin looks at me and smiles at me with warmth in his eyes.
Zac asks, "And how long has he been hiding away from you, Lia?"
"It's been almost a month." I smile at Benjamin.
After telling our story to his friends, I learned about Benjamin, a bit in his lifestyle from the other side. I sit by Bianca while Zac and Benjamin are chatting in front of us by the bar. As I was finished with my usual drink. Bianca informs me, "It's nice to see Benjamin happy."
"Was he not normally happy?"
She looks at Benjamin, "This past year, not so much." Then look at me, "Which makes me very sad, because, you know, he's very special."
"Because of his break-up? Ali?"
"That's it. He told you stories, yes?"
"I only know that it ended badly."
"He brought the ring and asked for parents' permission. You know, did everything proper. Took it seriously, like he does." We both look at Benjamin, "And then he asked her and it's not just a no." She looks at me informally, "It's a 'No, and I've got someone else.'"
I look at Benjamin so sad, thinking he has been through a lot. It kept me wondering, what did Ali look like? Was she light-colored like me? Have a successful career? I know Benjamin just told me she was almost the same age as him. I ask Bianca, "What was she like?" Bianca smiles, thinking to myself that I just pry badly, "Sorry. I don't mean to."
"No, no, come on, it's completely natural. I've already spent, maybe four hours, looking at Zac's profile, checking out all of his exes, getting crazy jealous."
"Come on! A pretty girl like you should be jealous?" We both laugh. "Do you have a photo of her?"
Bianca pulls up her phone and finds the photo of her, "Ali was, well, I guess you would say pretty, blonde."
I finish her thought, "White."
Bianca nods and shows me a photo of Benjamin smiling with Ali, who is white, blonde with blue eyes, in her mid-30s. I guess I'm the opposite of Benjamin's type a bit, which gives me doubt what he's really looking for in me. Bianca read my thoughts, "You're more beautiful and I don't lie." I smile at her and give her phone back. "I must say I'm a big fan of your work, Dahlia. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." We both smile, and let just say I make a new friend who is outside of work.
Outside of the bar, we exchange our goodbyes to his friends. I hug Bianca for her support and a moment with her as a friend. Benjamin guide me along with me, going home. We walk down the sidewalk, waiting for a taxi to drive us by. "I'm glad to meet your friends... Zac seems like an asshole while Bianca is a lovely angel. Good combination."
We both laugh together as he is holding my right hand, "I'll make sure that I'll tell Zac what you just said. I hope you don't mind I introduce them not your real name."
"It's fine. Bianca already knows who I am." Benjamin widens his eyes, "Don't worry, she'll keep a secret. We're friends now." Benjamin sighs with relief. I see a taxi and signal it, and it stops.
We both walk to the taxi. "Ok, we're going to your house. Get comfy. Even more comfortable since this morning to finish our moment." He whispers in my ear and I have an idea to see him in another side of his life.
"We can go to yours."
Benjamin laughs, "Sorry, I was picturing my bed, and the rest of my flat come to think of it." I look at him with confusion, "Look, my cleaner comes tomorrow. I can't let you see it before then, and for health and safety, you'd go right off me."
He kisses my nose and I'm still confused, wondering why he's defending himself. Is his flat really that bad or he just doesn't want me to see a part of his life? The taxi driver wants to know the address. Benjamin apologizes to him, "Come on, let's go to your home..."
"Benjamin, why don't you want me to see your place? My home was half messy when I welcomed you in on our first date and I didn't care. I still don't care due to my office with scattered papers lying around."
"Lia, it's ok. I know you want to see my part of my life, but there's some of my life I don't want to share." He grabs my hands to come in the taxi.
I pull my hands away, "Like your white ex?"
Benjamin look at me questioning and offended, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Are you dating me because I'm the opposite of Ali? Brunette hair, brown eyes, young, and colored?"
"No, I'm not. Is that what you really think of me? Using you for a change?" I shrug my shoulders and cross my arms wondering. His eyes are close to sad and mad. Maybe he's not... "You know what, how about we go our separate ways and I'll call you?" He opens the taxi door for me, and I enter and slam the door as the taxi driver drives off. I look behind and see Benjamin watching me go home.
I arrived home feeling empty and regretful of my comment and question to Benjamin tonight. I start to undress my outfit tonight and dress in my pajamas to sleep. I look over my emails and there is Anna. Emailed me when I was out, telling me that the publishing company is publishing my book. They want me to meet them tomorrow to discuss the edition and coverage for the book.
I should feel blessed and proud of myself; the only thing I'm feeling is bleak.