"I love her outfit here," Lisa muttered, watching Rosé's last Gone performance.
Yun Hyung scoffed, "You like everything about her."
Not wrong though.
Lisa ignored her, "She's coming back soon?"
Yun Hyung shrugged, "Not that I know. I'm not her manager, but I suppose so."
Lisa scoffed. Such a short trip, and yet Chaeyoung made it sound like she was moving there forever and never coming back. They could've at least dated through, Lisa was pretty sure they'd last.
Liar.
"Well I hope I don't accidentally bump into her," Lisa muttered. "That'll be unfortunate," She continued.
Yun Hyung sat beside Lisa, "I'm sure she'd be happy to see you though."
That evoked a scoff from Lisa again, "I politely disagree. For my sake, I'll just avoid her at all costs."
Yun Hyung rose her eyebrows, "You know that her studio isn't that far from mine, right? And she does come over too."
"I'll simply ghost you then," Lisa replied with a smile.
Yun Hyung rolled her eyes, "The building looks big, but it's actually really small."
"I'll hide in the toilet," Lisa said again, trying to outsmart Yun Hyung.
"She goes to the toilet too," Yun Hyung responded.
"Then I'd hide behind Jessi unnie."
Yun Hyung laughed, "You're such a coward."
"I just... don't think I'm ready to see her," Lisa suddenly confessed. "I think it'll hurt a lot."
Lisa's sudden tone of seriousness made Yun Hyung serious too, "You really think she won't recognise you?"
That made Lisa stall. Maybe Yun Hyung was right. Rosé would recognise Lisa if she didn't have a hat on, or if she had the same hair colour. And Lisa didn't want that.
If Rosé wanted Lisa out of her life so badly, she'd grant her wish. She'd disappear, but be present in spirit, just a different physical form so that Rosé wouldn't notice.
"I'm gonna make sure she doesn't," Lisa said.
Yun Hyung sighed, "How long are you gonna avoid her?"
That's a question Lisa asked herself too. How long will this go on for until she decides to let it go?
Truth be told, the only reason Lisa was holding on so tightly to this matter was because she didn't want to forget Rosé. She wanted to keep Rosé with her, and to remember her forever. Because, Chaeyoung was the only person who made her feel like she was actually in love— like she actually liked someone.
That's remarkable.
"I don't know. Until I decide it's enough," Lisa said shortly.
Yun Hyung understood and stayed quiet.
Little did they know, Rosé just arrived in Korea, and she was now moving her things over to the dorm she was living in.
Jay helped her with her items while she paced around to keep her clothes, "Thank you so much Jay! But I can manage from here."
The manager smiled, "You sure you're gonna be okay?"
Rosé nodded, "Yep. I'll probably bring Hank over soon."
Jay nodded, "Alright. I'll see you soon."
They exchanged farewells and Chaeyoung collapsed in bed.
She's back in her homeland, where the air smelt familiar, and every face she saw made her heart burn in some kind of way like it was anticipating.
But, staying in this new place— it would help her to take her mind away from things that happened back at her family home.
She's happy now, and she's famous. There's nothing else that she had to worry about. It was time to let Lisa go, and to move on.
There's better things to focus on now.
Is it true?
She decided she'll rest back in the dorm today. She wouldn't need to be back in the building—
Just then her phone rang.
It was a text from Yun Hyung.
are you safely back in korea?
Rosé smiled before replying. yes i am.
Yun Hyung typed.
that's great! i'll see you soon :)
Rosé felt funny. After working for so long, having nothing to do felt very odd.
Maybe she'd just pop by the building and see if Jun-Hoe was there too. They could catch lunch together and get to know each other better. Their encounter was pretty short anyway.
She sat up and looked at her plain room. It wasn't to her liking, so she decided to put up some things.
Besides, all her important possessions are with her now.
She placed the photo frames of her pictures on her bed side table— pictures of her and her family, her and hank, and of course. That picture of Lisa and her together.
She looked at the photo frame sadly, her eyes scanning Lisa's happy face for the nth time in the world. Their smiles looked beautiful in this picture, and looking at this— it made her feel... nice.
Her smile in the picture was genuine, and they had the best time in the park together, with Lisa taking pictures of her.
She wishes that there was more of this.
She couldn't hold herself back. The photo album on her phone of Lisa and her was still in her phone, and each time she missed Lisa, she'd look at it.
She turned on her phone and hesitantly clicked on the photo album titled 'lisa <3'.
She clicked on a picture of Lisa and smiled sadly.
This picture of her and Leo was the cutest one in Chaeyoung's opinion. Hell, she even misses Leo.
Looking at the beautiful features on the Thai's face, her heart wrenched.
How could she have ever left such a perfect person behind? Where did she find the kind of heartlessness to hurt such an innocent person?
Tears welled up in her eyes as she swiped.
A tear fell down her cheek, and she's yet to notice the amount of guilt in her chest.
Perhaps, she haven't addressed the pain in her chest because she's been trying to ignore it, and her trip to Europe— it didn't heal her at all.
It was just a distraction.
A month of endless distractions.
How will she heal? Especially after meeting her person. The person who was literally created for her. How?
She couldn't.
There are always people you meet who you can leave behind without hesitation in your life. But, there's also people who you can't ever forget. They're the ones who teach you valuable lessons, and they'll stay with you forever.
You'd want to keep them close to your heart.
Lisa was that one person.
The only person who could make Chaeyoung feel love rush through her veins unlike anyone else.
Lisa was the reason why Chaeyoung was here today, so open to so many things.
She sighed and locked her phone, slouching on the couch.
There's no escaping this endless pit of grief, is there?
The next day arrived, and today, Lisa had to practise with Jessi and the crew for her Cold Blooded performance.
But, she still kept her cap on, and she wore different shoes after knowing Rosé was back. She can't risk Chaeyoung seeing her here— at her second home. She didn't want to leave. She will not.
She scanned her pass, and walked into the lift quickly to avoid anybody.
She was dressed oddly, and when she entered Jessi's studio, Jong laughed at her.
"Who are you hiding from Lisa?" the other dancer laughed.
Jessi looked at the Thai, "Are you on the run?"
Lisa took her cap off, "No! I just... don't want to become tan."
Jessi rose her eyebrows, "The last time I checked, the sun is covered by the clouds, and the weather's pretty chilly..."
Lisa scoffed, "I— Never mind! Are we gonna start now?"
Jessi let it slide, "Yes! Get in formation."
Her manager played the track, and Lisa moved accordingly, working with her friends.
The practice would go on for hours until they've all perfected it, and help Jessi along.
But Lisa didn't mind. More time in Jessi's studio meant slimmer chance of seeing Rosé.
That was completely fine with her.
After the 5th time, the door opened, and Lisa's heart stopped for a split second.
Yun Hyung entered the room with a smile, "Looking good Jessi!"
Lisa let out a sigh of relief. If another person entered the room, she swore she'd get a heart attack. She's so on-edge.
"I think we're ready to film the dance practice video," Jessi said to her camera crew.
They nodded and one man said, "Let me check the equipment and I'll let you know when we can start."
Even though Lisa didn't want to leave the studio, she couldn't help if she needed to pee. If only we could take our bladders out and have others empty it for us... Sadly, we can't.
Lisa put on her cap and let Jessi know she was headed to the toilet before leaving.
She sped walked into the washroom and did her business. She took a few hits from her vape device, letting the relaxation kick in. It felt so good to have her lungs feel full.
She exited to wash her hands.
Lisa heard footsteps approaching, and she suddenly felt the need to hide in a stall again. But, a random woman entered and Lisa just smiled out of curtesy.
After she was done, she was headed back to Jessi's studio. She lifted her staff pass up to the scanner, but it just beeped loudly, and the door wouldn't unlock.
"What the fuck?" Lisa cursed under her breath. She tried again, but it beeped again.
Lisa started to panic when she heard the sound of more footsteps approaching. The Thai kept her head down when the person turned to corner, and she tried her best to keep her head down.
Don't look. Don't look Lisa.
She tapped her card against the scanner, and this time the door unlocked. The girl pushed the door so quickly and slipped in faster than anything in the world.
That left the rising star confused at how quick someone wanted to enter the dance studio. Chaeyoung blinked at the empty hallway and rose her eyebrows.
Is Jessi unnie practising?
She took steps towards the studio, and Jessi's new song played out loud.
Ah yes, Cold Blooded.
She wanted to go and watch, but at the same time she didn't want to interrupt if Jessi was practising, so she headed back to her own studio.
Lisa let out a huge breath before getting into formation.
"Okay, 3, 2, 1!" The cameraman said before raising his thumb.
Lisa dances as planned, keeping her head low in her cap so that Jessi would have the spot light. All her back-up dancers were either wearing masks or caps so that the attention would be on Jessi.
But Lisa, her head was down the whole time so that when this video was released, and Rosé chances upon it, she wouldn't recognise her at all.
Right after the song ended, Lisa joined Yun Hyung on the ground, drinking from her water bottle.
"What happened when you went to the washroom? You looked like you've seen a ghost," Yun Hyung teased.
Lisa removed her cap to wipe the sweat off her forehead, "My card couldn't scan, and someone was coming so I panicked."
Yun Hyung laughed, "It couldn't be her. She's probably at home resting."
Lisa rolled her eyes, "Safety precautions are important."
"You're ridiculous, but great work out there!" Yun Hyung said, patting her back. "You should really strive for something more."
Lisa brushed the compliment under the rug, "I'm just a dancer for Jessi unnie, and I'm happy with that."
The Thai puts her cap back on, and she realised that Jessi was not in the studio anymore.
"Wait, where did Jessi go?" Lisa asked the rest of the dancers.
Sol shrugged, "Not sure, but she left awhile ago."
Lisa blinked, "Is she okay?"
Jong got up, "I'll check if she's in the washroom."
She exited the studio and Lisa's heart rate was still peaking.
No idea why, but being in this studio— right opposite the one labelled with Rosé's name. It made her heart race.
She was so on-edge about this whole Rosé seeing her thing. She was so scared.
Yun Hyung rubbed her arm, "Calm down tiger."
"If she asks her over, it's over for me," Lisa said in a panicked tone. "She can't see me here."
Yun Hyung flicked her forehead, "She won't be in the building! She's probably resting."
Lisa couldn't believe that, "No— you don't know that! She's hardworking and driven, she'd practise all night long if she had to, so she may be back and practising to perfect herself!"
Her knuckles were white from gripping her pants so tightly, and Yun Hyung ran her fingers over her knuckles, "It's alright. I'll help you cover if she actually comes over. You don't have to worry."
Lisa felt safe when Yun Hyung was around, but she still couldn't stop the rising panic attack in her veins. Her throat was closing up, and her breaths were uneven. She wouldn't know what to do if Rosé stepped in, and was sharing the same space as her.
She'd simply die.
Just then, Jong and Jessi entered the studio, and Jong laughed at the star, "Jessi is fine! She was just taking a fat shit!"
The rest of the crew laughed except Lisa. Though she felt relieved, the unsettling feeling in her stomach couldn't be gone just like that. She's still scared.
"I'm lactose intolerant!" Jessi said, embarrassed.
Sol laughed, "And yet you're obsessed with coffee?"
"Can't help it. Need my caffeine to keep me awake," Jessi replied.
Yun Hyung scoffed, "Try tea next time."
The dance instructor noticed that Lisa's face was still pale, so she uncapped her bottle and handed it to her, "Drink up Lisa. You're as pale as Edward Cullen."
Lisa didn't, she just capped her bottle.
"It's okay, you're okay Lisa. I'm here," Yun Hyung whispered, rubbing her back to soothe her.
To be fair, it was helping Lisa calm down. But she felt suffocated by her own breathing. Each breath she took didn't seem to fill her lungs properly, and she was on the verge of hyperventilating.
It was a sign of a panic attack, but Lisa couldn't help it.
"I— I need to go to the washroom," Lisa uttered before darting out of the studio.
Jessi's eyes followed and she turned to Yun Hyung, "Is she okay?"
Yun Hyung nodded, "She'll be fine. I'll go check on her."
Jessi tagged along, and they both found Lisa by the sink, breathing heavily and shortly.
Jessi's hands goes on Lisa's back, rubbing up and down to try to help, "Deep breaths Lisa. Deep breaths."
Lisa tried, but her breath hitches each time she does.
"Was the choreography too intense?" Jessi asked, worried.
"No," Yun Hyung responded. "It's a panic attack Jessi."
Lisa bent down to splash water on her face to try to calm down.
It'll be fine Lisa. Breathe. Just breathe.
"What happened?" Jessi asked softly.
Lisa turned to Yun Hyung and nodded at her, as if telling her 'You can tell her'. And Yun Hyung understood.
"She's worried about seeing Rosé."
Jessi blinked, "Why?"
"She— We—"
"They had history," Yun Hyung said simply.
Jessi immediately understood, "Oh..." She continued rubbing Lisa's back to try to calm her down, "You're okay. You'll be okay."
After a while, Lisa's breaths were starting to be consistent, and she didn't feel like bursting into tears anymore.
She got away from the sink, "Thank you unnie."
Jessi looked at her sadly, "Don't worry about it honey, are you okay?"
Lisa nodded with a faint smile, "Yeah."
The idol enveloped Lisa in a hug, "Aw... I'm sorry, I didn't know."
Yun Hyung was touched by this sight. She felt happy that she brought Lisa into the company because now Lisa had her support group— it was bigger than just Chicha.
Lisa hugged the idol back, "Thank you unnie. Thank you so much."
They pulled apart and Jessi brushed away hairs from Lisa's face, "Do you mind telling me about what happened?"
Lisa shot Yun Hyung a look, and Yun Hyung nodded, seemingly implying that she could trust Jessi.
"I will, but not here please? She could come in anytime," Lisa pleaded.
Jessi nodded, "Of course, we can go back."
They headed out, and back into Jessi's studio.
Chaeyoung peeked out from her studio right after the door closed, trying to find out why they were celebrating in Jessi's studio. But again, she shouldn't be rude and intrude like that.
Lucky for Lisa.
That was a close shave.
a/n: poor lisa :(