Milo was indeed absent again. The rumors continued among students. It seemed like everyone knew what happened, which also upset Kari. She remembered Milo's words about his past experiences with the Pacer. 'Not hearing the end of it for weeks.' At this point, the only hope she had was that Milo was simply so ashamed of his performance and afraid of the reactions upon his return that he was skipping school. But those rumors were getting to her... it was hard to hold onto that one shred of hope.
Time moved at a crawl, but at last the day was over. On the bus, she heard yet more rumors. She put her earbuds in to ignore them and imagined weird scenarios to make herself feel better.
But then, when Kari got off of the bus... she spotted a familiar figure sitting on the curb across the street.
"Milo!?"
"Hi Kari... I was hoping you'd be here." he soughed, pushing aside his unkempt hair so he could see better. Of course, his hair is never neat, but normally it didn't just fall over his face like that. He looked even paler than usual, if that was even possible.
Kari ran up to him, her worries only eased marginally. In fact she started feeling even more concerned when she watched him get up. He looked so weak he might topple over from a light breeze. And she might've just been imagining it, but he looks... thinner. Not thin, far from it. Thinner.
"I'm so glad to see you..."
He said that but looked slightly relaxed at best. With a chill running down her spine, Kari felt an impulse to lunge at Milo and hug him. But... it would be awkward to suddenly hug a boy, right? Even though she considers him her closest friend? But why is that, 'awkward'? Because... society... says... so...?
She didn't act on it. Instead, she broke out interrogating.
"Where have you been!? What happened—?! Are— are you alright? You look— well, to be frank you look horrible! You look like you wrestled with a bear or something! Why weren't you at school the last few days? I-I was—"
"—Sorry, yeah, I know it's been days or whatever. I don't wanna... talk about that..." He rubbed his eyes. Everything that came out of his mouth sounded breathy and feeble. "...I do... need to talk to you about... something though. Something important."
Kari nodded, her stomach full of knots. "Oh... sure. Anything. What is it?"
"I only want you to hear it. So... can we... go... uh. Somewhere. I d-dunno."
Kari had to try so hard to keep cool, this did not feel good. "How about my house? It's down the street at the corner."
"Oh... that's what I was thinking, but I was afraid to ask." he said. "No one's home, right?"
"No, my parents are working. That's why I suggested it."
"Okay... good..."
Kari kept herself as slow as Milo's unusually sluggish gait beneath the smoky-white overcast sky. They didn't say a word to each other. There was no telling what this was going to be. All she can tell for sure is that something is horribly wrong. And she absolutely did not have a good feeling about it.
Soon, they arrived at Kari's house. Using a key hidden under a rock in the front yard, Kari unlocked the door and Milo followed her in. He curiously looked around at all corners of the room. The walls, the photos and the décor, the furniture, the couch, the large TV. Kari removed her shoes and placed them on the rack, removed her hat, coat, and scarf. And then she looked at Milo, who was still looking around with an awkward expression.
"This feels weird..." he mumbled, his hands tucked into his pocket and legs locked together.
"How come?"
"I... don't think I've been inside someone else's house... your house is nice."
He never had friends to visit the homes of before, that's true. But he's never been in other family members' houses? Does he not have...?
"Well there's a first time for everything, right?" Kari said with a forced smile. It was hard, but she wanted Milo to feel welcome, especially if, apparently, this is the first time he's been inside another person's house. Speaking of which, he looks like he doesn't know what to do with himself, which is understandable.
"You can take your shoes off if you want. And you can sit on the couch, make yourself comfortable. Oh-! And would you like any refreshments, Milo? A drink or a snack? Or both?"
Milo grimaced and shook his head, sighing.
"What's the matter?" Kari asked him.
He shook his head again. He did follow her suggestions though. He took his shoes off, revealing threadbare socks. He groaned bending over to pick the shoes up to put on the rack.
"Oh, you didn't need to put your shoes there." said Kari. "You could've just left them by the door."
"Nnnmnn..." Milo groaned, holding his head as he stood upright. "I'm sorry... should I put them back?"
"No, no, you can leave them there."
Milo reeled making his way to the couch. He made another pained groan and dropped himself onto it. Kari bit her lip. He's weak...
"Are you sure you don't want anything...? You can pick out whatever you want... I'm sure you'd feel a little better."
He shook his head and smiled with weariness.
"...Thanks for the concern... but I'm... fine."
Kari frowned and sat next to him, cross legged. "You really, really don't look fine...!" she chided. "Seriously, you don't, you look like a frickin' ghost!"
Milo stared. Blankly. Not emitting a peep at that. Then looked away and dodged what Kari was attempting to get into.
"S-Soooo... that... important something I need to tell you. About me. Could I go ahead...?"
She knew he just dodged the question. But she let it slide because she wanted to be a good listener.
"...Yes? I'm listening."
Besides the ticking clock in the kitchen behind them, the room was so quiet a pin drop could be heard. From the eerie silence loomed an ever-growing dread within Kari, quickening her heart rate and forming sweat that beaded under her shirt.
"...Uhh. What you need to know is... um."
A brief pause.
"...H... how do I... start this...?"
"Take your time."
Milo exhaled dolefully.
"I-I guess... really what it all is, is... besides when you're nice to me... my life... is a... nightmare."
"...Nightmare?"
Kari's blood curdled. Yet... it's not surprising to hear that. It shouldn't be, from what can be perceived about this lonely, miserable boy. From what little she knows about him personally.
"I barely know how it feels to be happy. It's... like I was only born to... to suffer..."
Milo clenched his fists and slammed them on his thighs. His breathing accelerated, short stuttering breaths.
"No—! That... is why. I'm convinced! Like... someone decided, 'hey! This stupid boy?! Let's see just how much pain he can endure! Everyone and everything WILL BE OUT TO GET HIM!' I was made to be the WHOLE, GODDAMN UNIVERSE'S PERSONAL SCAPEGOAT!"
Tears streamed down his cheeks and he slammed his head back against the couch.
"I'm always in pain! It NEVER, EVER stops! AGONY, every fucking waking moment is AGONY!"
Kari put up a hand. "Hey, calm—"
"I shouldn't even've been BORN! OR EVEN CONCEIVED! EVERYTHING I TOUCH, I FUCKIN' RUIN SOMEHOW! I am cursed!"
"Milo, please, calm down!"
But he could not. Milo was seeing through tunnel vision, pain being all he saw. He could feel a rapid pulse in his ears. His hands were clenched so tightly his fingertips could impale his palms. "I CAN'T!" He screamed, his voice sanding his throat and echoing through the house. "EVERYTHING SUCKS!!"
"You don't need to yell, I'm listening to you right here..."
"EVERYTHING sucks except YOU! YOU'RE SO— NICE."
He threw himself onto the couch arm, his head hanging down as he burst into tears, screaming and hiccupping.
"Seriously, you need to calm down!"
Milo shook his head, his body limp as he screamed his pain out.
Kari leaned toward him and placed her hand on his knee. "What's your favorite drink?"
She barely made out between his sobs, "Soda of course like the fat-ass I am, what do you think..." and then she promptly ran off to the kitchen. Soon Milo heard a tab open and he saw Kari approach him with a can of Pepsi. Milo paused, and his sad, stunned eyes made contact with Kari's.
"Sorry!" Kari said, reading him and realizing she did that impulsively. She placed the can on the coffee table. "I just thought you should just. Stop. And have a cold drink you like, it might calm you a little. So I asked—"
He interrupted her.
"—No, no, I'm so stupid!! Of course that's what you meant when you asked that!" He smacked his face, again and again. "I should've said water. I should've said water."
"But, if this is your favorite, wouldn't you enjoy it more?"
"You think I deserve to enjoy things!?"
"Yes! Especially because you're having a tough time, be nicer to yourself." She picked the can back up and held it out to him. "Enjoy your pop."
He covered his eyes and cried as he hesitated to accept Kari's offering. Ultimately though, he took the can from her mousily and lifted it close to his lips. "Fine. ...I'll have it... but only for old time's sake." he said before laying against the couch and downing the whole thing continuously. When he finished, he reached to put the empty can on the table, but Kari took it and did that for him so he could keep laying back.
"Better?" she asked him, taking a seat next to him.
"As 'better' as I can ever be... thanks."
Kari nodded. She knew a measly drink could never rid him of whatever it is that makes his life a living hell, but it did pacify him from that hysterical state, that's what matters.
"So... Calmly now. Remember I am here and I'm listening to whatever you need to say. ...You say your life is a... nightmare? Why is that?"