Recommended song: Chelsea Culter-Forever.
Dinner was excruciating for Nari, being close to Gwang-il only made her self-pity soar and looking at him made her lip throb painfully. Her dull eyes avoided his pools of smothering black as much as possible, but she could feel him staring her down, so she peered up at him every so often, and whenever their gaze met, he flashed her a gentle smile.
Gwang-il had the softest smile, a gummy smile that softened every feature of his sharp face and put his perfect teeth on full display. Nari tilted her head, ensnared in his smile for a moment before quickly dropping her head to play with the silk of the tablecloth again. His smile was a trap, a ruse to make you feel comfortable in his heavy presence, it was dangerous as it held your attention, signaling to him that he had you in the clutches of his charms, and she was too close to be getting caught in it.
Nari scanned the room, looking for his puppets and sure enough, they were seated around them with their families just like normal boys. Kwang-hoon was already glaring at Nari when she spotted him, watching her with a malicious smirk tugging at his lips. Nari watched him swivel his hefty ring around his ring finger with his thumb, flakes of her dried blood chipping off onto the tablecloth. Nari fidgeted under his gaze, her chest tightening as she pulled the tablecloth over her legs.
She peered up at Gwang-il for a moment and caught him watching her again, not that he was trying to hide his interest in her. He smiled at her, and she pouted, looking down at her lap, her nails digging into their beds. Her cheeks burned with frustration, she was trapped from all sides, leaving no place for her eyes to roam without seeing someone watching her.
"Nari, how have you been adapting to Pyeongyang?" Gwang-il's mother asked, smiling brightly, the same smile as her son but with much less devastating eyes.
Nari raised her eyebrow as her head shot up, her jaw hanging slightly agape as her mind raced, trying to assemble a coherent sentence. "Good." She chirped, softening her eyes, a good substitute for a smile. "It's so beautiful here."
"She's been working so hard at school; she's already doing so well." Aunt Hana doted and Nari cringed. "Really?" Gwang-il's mother congratulated her, clapping her hands in excitement.
Nari glanced at her Aunt with pleading eyes, begging her to change the topic and she smiled at Nari, turning back to look at Gwang-ils mother, expertly bringing up the new restaurant opening in town causing the woman's face to light up.
Nari let out a soft sigh and neatly placed her spoon next to her empty plate, looking up at the ceiling and admiring the beautiful murals.
Across the table, Gwang-il couldn't stop staring at her. He wasn't trying to make her uncomfortable, he was just studying her. He had never met someone with eyes like hers, they were always shrouded in a glossy emotionless shield, creating a mysterious cloud around Nari. Her eyes were the only reason he didn't kill her the first time they met, they held nothing he wanted to steal, nothing worth taking, anything valuable she hid too well. When he first laid eyes on her he couldn't wait to watch the life drain from her eyes, just like those other bitches, his friends were basically drooling over her, begging him to give them the green light, but her eyes were lifeless. Everything else was perfect for the taking, her round and innocent face, plump lips and silky hair pushed Gwang-il to his limits.
She was an enigma to him, and he prided himself in his control of others, but how could you control someone when there was nothing to control? He enjoyed watching the emotion swirling in the eyes of others, his favorite being fear. When a person's eyes grew wide exposing shaky pupils.
That day she smiled at him he saw something he liked; she had the most expressive eyes when she showed her true feelings. They would puff up and gleam even in a dreary classroom, it made Gwang-il want to smile, and that scared him. What scared him more was his dark desire to hurt her so badly she could never recover started bubbling to the surface the second he saw something worth taking, but rather than making him feel alive like the thought usually did, it made him feel sick.
What was it that made her different from the rest? Was it because instead of his impulses blinding him and seeing her as a piece of meat, he would like to cut open he saw her as her and he liked what he saw?
-
After dinner, Nari stuck to her Aunt's side like glue, feeling the gang of boy's eyes on her from the moment she got up. Even though she was unbelievably bored with old people's talk she knew she was safest there. Finally, after about an hour of listening to banter Aunt Hana registered the tiny, lingering presence next to her.
"You alright, sweetie?" She asked, rubbing Nari's arm soothingly. "Yep." Nari chirped, "I think I'm going to get some air though." She pointed to the balcony and her Aunt nodded, "I'll be right here if you need me." Nari nodded and broke away from the crowd, looking around cautiously before stepping out into the night, just to make sure she wasn't being followed, but the gang of dogs seemed to have been whisked away by the promise of secret whiskey.
The cold breeze instantly made goosebumps rush up her arms and she loved it, the smell of chilly air was extremely refreshing and calming and Nari fell onto the railings her lungs collapsing in relief.
Nari didn't know if she was more afraid of being cornered by the bloodhounds or any other old creep here, and as scenarios rushed through her head, she concluded that jumping over the balcony would be her best option. The thought made Nari laugh, her contagious smile only being flashed to the stars as she leaned over the railing looking at the sprawling gardens below. Imagining this as her family home brought buzzing heat to Nari's heart, she could vividly see her father plucking the weeds from the moist soil, and her mother lounging under a rainbow umbrella sipping away at her drink as the melting ice clang against the sides. Nari would be right at her side, reading any book of choice to her mother.
Nari wiggled happily, knowing one day she could make it a reality, the smiles on her parent's faces would be all she needed to die happy. All she needed to do was put her head down and stay focused, work hard and make it out of the mess around her.
Nari's comfort shattered, and her body jolted from shock as cool silk burnt her sensitive skin, a jacket being wrapped around her exposed shoulder.
Nari's heart jumped out of her chest as Gwang-il leaned on the railing next to her, staring into the night. She gripped his jacket pulled it shut and covered herself as her heartbeat quickly picked up and adrenaline shot into her veins, thinking she was in a dangerous situation, she was seriously contemplating jumping. Her head shot around, the soft glow of the room not obstructed by any more menacing shadows.
Without looking at her, Gwang-il could sense Nari's distress so he stared at her over his shoulder, the movement causing a single strand of silky hair to flutter between his eyes., "I'm not going to hurt you, I'll leave if you want me to." He muttered and looked back to the shadowy garden, deep in thought.
Nari watched him intently, ready for any sudden movements, but he looked too tired to try anything, so she slowly dropped her shoulders, relaxing slightly.
There was a mutual silence between them for a moment as they both stared at the stars, the wind rustling the trees below them. Nari stayed sturdy on her feet, ready to dash away at any moment.
"Does it hurt? He asked, turning to look at her and Nari subconsciously ran her tongue over the ridge on her lip. "No, it's okay now." She reassured him.
His eyes scanned over her lip, but the shadows were too heavy to see anything, so he gently placed a finger on Nari's jaw and turned her head towards the light, his sharp eyes inspecting the cut. Nari thought she felt her soul leave her body at the contact, her lungs collapsing under the pressure he brought by being close to her.
"I won't let them touch you again, they won't even look at you anymore," Gwang-il promised, tearing his eyes away from Nari.
"I mean, it's okay," She answered hesitantly, Gwang-il let out an annoying laugh, his sharp canines glistening in the moonlight, and sent a harsh look to Nari, "You think it's okay for people to hit you?" He studied her eyes thoroughly.
Nari was on the verge of nodding when she saw him furrow his brow and tilt his head, her brain took a moment to override her normal thinking pattern and eventually let her shake her head weakly. "It was my fault." She admitted and Gwang-il stood up, intimidatingly staring down at her for a moment before slipping his hands into his pockets and leaning back against the railing.
"Why do you think it was your fault?" He questioned, "I was being stupid." She shot back simply, somehow finding the courage to look up at him, but even when she broke eye contact, his eyes stayed on her. "I should have just left the book on your car instead of causing a scene." She shrugged.
Gwang-il laughed, and Nari cocked an eyebrow at him. "What?" He simply shrugged at her question and turned to stare at the guests inside, "I'm just trying to figure you out." He mumbled.
"Well, there's nothing to figure out, so you can stop trying." Nari shot back before sinking into herself again, scared she was being too harsh.
"I don't think I will." He looked back down at her, and she shot him an annoyed look, not wanting to get any more involved in whatever game he was playing. But honestly, he couldn't stop himself from hovering around her, slowly picking away at the scabs life gave her. "One more question than I'll stop, promise." He flashed her a soft smile, his eyes playfully squinting shut.
Nari pouted but gave him a quick nod to continue.
"You thanked me today, why?"
Nari took a while to answer, not really wanting to give him access to her internal wounds, but his eyes were burning in the side of her face, and it was making her cheeks uncomfortably hot.
"It's nothing." She tried deflecting the question, feeling embarrassed to admit it. Nari saw him tilt his head out the corner of her eyes and looked up at his, seeing his arched brow, his eyes still waiting for an answer.
"You made me feel something today...," Nari whispered, and it sounded stupid, but it wasn't stupid enough that it didn't hurt. "You made me feel something after a long time of feeling nothing, and I didn't like it. I hated it, I hated all of it and I never wanna feel anything like that again." Gwang-il quickly noticed Nari's tears beginning to build because they reflected the light from the moon like diamonds. The words had a profound effect on him as well, creating an endless pit in his stomach, and the fact that he reacted to her words the way he did made him uneasy in his self-control.
"Nari." Her name fell from his lip like a lightning strike cutting through thunderclouds. She hummed and looked up at him, her blinking heavy. "It's going to be okay." He whispered; a comforting smile plastered on his face the entire time. Nari stopped functioning as she watched Gwang-il push himself off the railing and walk into the glowing room, leaving behind knotted eyebrows and confused eyes.
-
Around midnight when the family finally returned home, Nari skilfully snuck away from her sleepy caretakers and disappeared into her room. She walked wearily into her bathroom, quickly washing her face clean, revealing the angry cut. Nari poked at it, the ragged edges hooking into her fingertip.
Three soft knocks rang from the door, "You know you can't hide from me." Aunt Hana popped her head into Nari's room, the rest of her body quickly following.
"I brought ointment; it'll help." She flashed Nari a pink tube and took a seat next to her. "You really don't have to worry, it's nothing." Nari shot back defiantly.
This was nothing that she hadn't handled before.
"I know, you're strong but you don't have to always be strong, I'm here to take care of you, and that's all I want to do." Nari watched her aunt open the tube, a small smile threatening to spill over at the touching words.
Aunt Hana put a blob on the tip of her finger on brought it up to rub on Nari's lip, but she quickly pulled away. "Is it gonna burn?" Nari asked, staring at the white gel suspiciously. "I was just talking about how strong you are." Aunt Hana shot back. "I know and I am," Nari quickly defended her pride, "but I don't want it to sting." She whined.
"It won't." Her aunt suddenly got a death grip on the back of her neck, she was much stronger than Nari expected. She held Nari in place and rubbed the gel gently into the groove.
"Ow, ow, ow. It's burning." Nari stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "Good, that means it's working." Aunt Hana chuckled and let go.
Nari grimaced, and a small amount of bitter gel settled on her tongue.
"So, what happened?" Aunt Hana asked, resting her arms on her lap. "Well, I'm pretty sure you just put acid on my lip." Nari looked blankly at her aunt, trying to avoid the inevitable conversation. "No, not now," She laughed, "At school."
"Oh, it wasn't anything serious, just kids being kids." Nari shrugged, "I guess I just attract this kind of stuff."
Her aunt perused her lips and let out a sigh, "You are good Nari." She said, placing a comforting hand on Nari's knee.
"You are good, kind, and beautiful, but this world is an ugly place, and it tries to eat up people like you." Nari looked at her Aunt, wrinkles forming on her forehead.
"You guys keep saying stuff like that, but when was I ever that person?" She stared deeply into Aunt Hana's pleading eyes. "You were, but you needed to change to survive the situation you were in, but you're not in that place anymore, you can come back to us Nari...we miss you."
Nari shut her eyes and heard her Aunt sniffle.