The Memphiles Cult in the Caves was a Swathing Hubble of Evil and Fearsome Unknown. there were three groups of Memphiles. well, really two groups. So.... 6 of them. They consisted of Rachella, a Devious Memphiles with a Frill over her neck and Purple Hair. There was a Redheaded Memphiles with the Disguise as a Human; a Martial Artist with a skill of the sword, too. There was Diamond Tella, who had a Gas mask and red Frilly hair, who was a skilled Magic master. there were the others, like Hectom the Memphiles with an ambiguous gender, lastly, there was a Memphiles Woman who was named Sauzey... who could manipulate things with her mind, like the very balance of matter who could have been the Most powerful Leader in their Cult! oh, yeah. and there was a Robot. Named K-Dokk, who was probably created by the same company that made A-Ross himself! but people often times called him Ketchy. They were watching TV in their cave, wasting all the time just looking for something to do. They all saw the Reports on Theromutes fighting for their rights on TV... their TV was not in propper shape. it was statticy and always glitched. and it always drove everyone in the Cave mad. "I'm bored!" said Tella. "Why can't we just go out and destroy whatever comes our path!?" The redheaded Martial Artist was Meditating... "there must be no time to wait for battle.... only those who choose to exist without suffering are those who wish to Desire."
The Robot, K-Dokk, came over with an angry look on his face. an almost sour look. so sour he could feel it. like it was a Zit in his mind, Driving him mad. K-Dokk had been Getting Wasted on Electrocution all morning. "I've got an idea, let's go start a Small Business selling Fine China, and let people think it's all Frisbees! or...how about this...?" "Ketch, if this is your idea of getting an opportunity to strut your stuff just because you're a robot...I suggest you start considering some sort of Dismounting off your high Mucaped!" right in the middle of the sentence, there was an almost lightbulb-esque moment of sparking an idea in one's head. Rachella turned around and yelled "THAT'S IT! BY GARGE WE'VE GOT IT!" "Say what?" "yeah, Rache, what have we got?" asked K-Dokk, now starting to wonder a bit as to why this was becoming some sort of odd "Call to Disaster" sort of moment.
"We'll just need some sort of weird concoction to bring upon the world, let's start with a Television Show Episode Script from Beyond Damnation, an absorbent amount of printed sheets of Internet Troll Ramblings, A Lock of [ D O N A L D T R U M P ]'S Hair, And finally, the Fungus in the Cave's Stalactites and as well as some fabric from the couch!" "What in the hell is this?!" she took all these things she mentioned and put into a giant Pot, put it on Broiler, took a ceramic wok and started mixing! "what's up, Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas? tryin' ta poison your crippled dad again, hahahahah that's hilarious, that is so typical Rachella.... what are you even doing anyway? Dude, I accept a woman who does Witch Craft, but-!" Rachella grabbed the Martial Artist by the nuts, and twisted it.
"don't bother me, I need to do what I just got inspired to do!" "what's that?" asked K-Dokk ...."be the next Granny WeatherWax?"
Note: if you read Discworld, congrats. you can now hang your head in shame.
she started to stir and whip 10 times, until finally there was a smoke coming out of the Pot. it was a smoke smelling like Death. Like as if this New thing in this world.....was Evil that could not be sealed into any closed space. but then after letting the pot of this concoction cool for ten minutes... K-Dokk looked at it and sensed a Presence unlike any he'd ever calculated but even so, he saw it when no other life form could! his interface read it as "SPECIMEN IDENTITFYED AS: PARASITE! PARASITE SPECIES: UNKNOWN"
"Do you like it, Ketch?"
"wha-... what.. what is it...!?"
the smoke started to disappear and now Rachella knew exactly what she just Wrought! "Do you even know what this thing IS!? it's a sentient Idealism! go ahead! try it! it has no form, and will take over any host within a matter of seconds! this thing doesn't even have a name yet, and I'm proud to call it my own! So! who here Volunteers to be-!" she was pushed to the side to be replaced where she was at the moment by Sauzey, who had the nerve to want to try it on for herself, but once she did, it started to give her a seizure. "For fuck's sakes, Sauz! now I gotta make-!" the Idealism Parasite left her body, as though to say she was probably too evil even for the Parasite itself. "Now, Go My Rapscallion, and fucking take over the Universe, like how I wanted .....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I need a beer."
"We're all out! We'll get some after Breakfast tomorrow!"
K-Dokk also wanted to Get loaded, but was scared shitless to the point of defalcating bolts and screws! so the Parasite fled the Planet Ceres, and into the Unknown.... so On that note, Klaus was going to get both his arms replaced.... with robot arms.... they were both high Shouldered ones, both the length going down to his thighs. Lord Crawnlaxz looked from a far during this strange operation, and saw the Rage in Klaus's Eyes. What was making him Lash out, She thought as Jasper looked out and was ready to give him flowers. "hey, Klaus. Listen, I need to talk to you, I know you're frustrated, when Tysten takes over your body at the end of your 20's ..... right after you start using it for a while Vixion like you just start to either shut down or....." "or...?" "Well, I mean, those robot arms will have to be there forever, Klaus... I mean your body isn't a toy. " Lord Crawnlaxz also walked into the room, despite that she didn't want to. "fucking hell, Klaus, what were you doing out there?....after you killed so many people."
Klaus's eyes started to become Yellow and almost to the extent of looking like he was on Drugs. "Listen, Jasper, I just want to vent. Okay?" Lord Crawnlaxz was almost certain that Klaus could make it alive, but she was curious... if he would ever use Tysten again. Would Klaus turn to Evil? she thought.... Klaus himself had to think to himself "Will Zowce or Rick come back from the dead? should I avenge Rick's Death? shit.... Well, I am getting kinda hungry. I would kill for some Benigaua bread with Tomato Oil right now. with some Sugar Tongues for desert." Jasper started to feel abruptly concerned for Klaus's Wellbeing. but before he could say anything or start crying....he manned up, and as an Uncle, he thoughtfully remembered something.
"hey, kid.... I got you something." he opened a box wrapped with gift paper... it was the Second Edition Version of the Tysten Handbook, The Veteran's Journal. "this one has diagrams of shit like the Vixion Anatomy.... and the Story of the Evolution of The Mabasoru. and it tells you what kind of stuff you can learn from Blood Starch, it even has a part in the book where you can read the 4 rules of Enlightenment for Vixion Protection." Klaus almost fell asleep again. "wait! do..do...do you want me to read them out for you!?"
"don't bother. " said Klaus. he knew in his place, He would have wanted to stay home. Watch the original 2256 version of Jram Coggner's "Mortal Fist". probably read a book and have a bath. get some wine and look at sweaty pictures of .....then Klaus woke up.... and realized he was in the wrong of killing all those people. but all the assassins in the world couldn't be worth their Salt just to Get the Bounty of He who killed Rick. Rick Weltchetzki. Ha. Lord Crawnlaxz then heard the sound of a whistle going off. "Okay! visiting hours Are over! everybody out!" "but we're only 10 thirds away from seeing him test out his new Arms!" "The arms aren't even ready, the surgery is still three months away from actually being capable of doing their job. anyway, they're not getting paid any money. so leave before the Hospital Closes." Jasper left Angrily and Lord Crawnlaxz looked back at Klaus with a lot of Concern. she looked back and slowly left after the Nurse, Cigarette in mouth shut off the light. "So how is my Klaus?" said Risa. she was in the waiting room for 10 hours. "Well, pack your stuff, we're moving to the Tomboy until your boyfriend gets an offical Upgrade." said Jasper. tired as he was... but the bigger problem, the Parasite, didn't want to enter the hospital because it would probably take too soon to fucking take its hold in such a desperate time. "Lights out!" keep in mind, it had no form, and was just getting ready and didn't want to take hold until the time and place was right. no, not the hospital, too obvious.
The Theromute Homeworld was a Planet with a constantly Grey sky. all kinds of lightning was everywhere, and there were crows on the stick trees with no plantation. The Creamy Puffs in everyone's freezers never got eaten but somebody was mass producing them in his basement, but this isn't about him. no, this isn't about the crows, the Twigs in a Droughted Desert, the sky, the fact that it doesn't rain there, the fact that Advertising is banned there, the Lost city that the Theromutes may or may not have had, though The Theromute Homeworld had millions of cities, hell! there was even a somehow tangible reason they don't like the word "Vacuum Murderer" and this isn't even about that. The Theromutes were in a bit of turmoil and such to the point that they were running out of blood to keep their home planet alive! so every morning at 6: 57 AM the Theromutes all gather around a giant maze that they pour blood into after all the blood sucking they had done throughout the various times they have taken their victims. of course they're robot Vampires. so no "turning a dude into a Vampire". none of that. The Theromutes were running out of blood to keep their planet alive. could the planet have been sentient?
Could they be Feeding an oversized child Theromute?
Did they have to keep their world from dying just to have somewhere to live?
How much blood did they need?!
If he planet needed more blood where would they get all of it from?
And what does this planet need the blood for?
Well, it's quite simple. The Theromutes needed the Blood of others to make sure they had a good Blood Collection to keep their planet alive and with this Planet being alive, though it is not sentient.... or at least, they just need it because since the day it was first established in the cosmos.... it's been dying. it was apparent to the Robot Vampires that the reason their Planet was dying was because it needed precious sustenance. it did not matter what kind. it just needed...blood.
"Well, Chester you've gone and done it again," said one Theromute to the other while carrying out a huge canister of blood. "You got the least amount of blood and what were you doing!? looking on your phone goin' on Popular Website!" "fuck your Grandpa." said Chester. another thing about Theromutes is that their culture is often times very grunge. if not that then most of their humor, their language, everything about them.... right down to how little they think of other people.... well, this was their stereotype. but The Parasite didn't wanna stop here. it was going to start here, and then some.
"That Klaus kid is really starting to Rot my ass." Said a Female Theromute. "hey, just get the Cannisters of Blood out. god, we are running out, should we get more." the cannisters were coming from a big cheap, shitty spray painted Truck that only ran on the first 35 cent Fuel that would only last them like 65 Tennza hours in space. "Alright, what else we got besides Blood!? Fucking beer, some Porno Mags, a bag of Ghost Pepper Chippers and..... that's odd... I didn't know-!"
suddenly like a flash, there it was.. the Parasite.
"what was that?"
"nothing. I just would have sworn..."
Suddenly like some kind of nightmare inducing flicker, the Parasite infected one of the Theromutes. it was Jacker Coat. Jacker had a lunch before getting blood, and he had a eight foot sub so that he wouldn't just rely on Blood alone for the time being. so once he got possessed by the Parasite, he couldn't look right for a good half a minute!
"Jacker you maniac what's the fucking matter with you?! I thought we said no sugar in your blood. course you're not a fat fuck so ....then again nobody is." Chester had two more beers he didn't finish and started to notice that his two Dads, who were also trying to carry out Canisters of Blood, were getting stressed out and started to fuck around with the blood because they were Too damn distracted by Jacker's response to being chopped up mentally by the Parasite! the other thing that might have been so much to lead him to being so defunct may have been that he was either eating too unhealthy or he was consuming too much liquor. that might not be the reason he was flipping out so hard, but it didn't help either way!
"COAT! SNAP OUT OF IT, YOU ASSWAD!"
the Female Theromute slapped him in the face and as soon as he reverted to normal with the possession of the Parasite still in him, the slap made him make Casino Slot machine sounds ..."I'm fine...say, uh..... shouldn't we be out going to ah, geez... ah, I don't know a Zarth Worshiping Cult? or like.... some sort of un holy bullshit... swear some kind of blood oath?"
"what in Flab's name are you talking about?" said Chester's Gay dad. his other Gay dad looked around to see what was wrong with Jacker. "Mr. Coat. might I remind you that we worship Not Zarth, but-!" "ayaayayyayaayiiii..." he started to have his pupils dialate like crazy to the point to having them become the entire circumference of his eyes. "wipe that stupid grin off your face you Damn Cow!"
"Cow?! what do you mean, like...Cow cow, or Cow -!"
the Parasite left and infected the Female Theromute! "woah! dudes and dudettes! let's get wasted at the Droughted desert's edge, y'all! let's get our Existentialism upon in this!" she cracked open a beer. it wasn't even a beer she would have survived drinking. it was a 40 beer. probably at the limit that if you have so much as half of one you'd be best off feeding it to cancer patients in Chronic Hemptile 420. she drank it and began to get a lot of her weight in The Ghost Pepper Chips in the car, of course the other gay Dad got so worried for this woman and started to slap her, but instead of getting the fucking Parasite out of her, she began to droll over the Gay dad's face. "uh...Chester, a little help for your dear old dad?" Chester was smoking a Thrudge Smoke. "Sorry, dad. no dice." he smoked it and the Girl stopped badgering Chester's dad. "ooooh? can I have a hit?! I've heard that this Thrudge stuff is he god damn bomb!" "yeah, well you can't ever have any." Chester sat down on a rock and as soon as Jacker started to get more Cannisters of blood his head started to hurt. "the Jesus is wrong with me? " said Jacker. "what was that in my head?!"
sometime later the Theromute girl started to ramble on about how Theromutes were the worst in the universe. the total worst. but then during a report of Klaus having gotten Robot limbs got out on the Jumbotron, in the middle of her rambles. god alone knew what she was saying, at some points it was about Theromute Education, sometimes it was about Laser control, the population on places like Chronic Hemptile 420.... and once she saw Klaus on the news... she was ready to pass out since she had the Parasite leave her before she could say anything more or less fucked up than what she had said prior or since. "God damn! We did not need to hear that shit, what is wrong with you!?"
Lord Crawnlaxz was asleep. it was 8:02 AM on a Gunzraday morning and she heard footsteps. what was it? Klaus with his new arms? her idiot Husband Cid and a bed in breakfast? no. it was Malloy Foster. "Terressa? do you have a minute?" There was no time to discuss the fate of Klaus, but with all in due haste, there needed to be a minute with her before Klaus goes on a murderous Rampage again. but currently, Klaus was getting into bar fights. and WINNING. "Klaus won't be much help to us these days. and you won't believe what happened to the Theromute homeworld!"
Lord Crawnlaxz was groggy and wanted a longer slumber, she had a sagging eye in her face and yawned. "Let me get a shower, but first I need some painkillers. I've had a bad headache since last night!" the next minute after Klaus woke up meanwhile in the Hospital Station, somewhere between Hoody's and Chronic Hemptile 420, but on that same asteroid belt that used to be a Strip Mall and a Zigger Stadium, which to Klaus didn't feel like a Hospital at all. Klaus looked around, and once his procedure with his robot arms was done, there was a big clicking noise he heard while he was trying to find out where the fuck his fingers were. not all that busy actually. though he cracked his knuckles and stood up. he saw Zowce's Ghost. It was at that point that no one would believe him if he actually said he saw him and once Zowce's ghost was in the middle of the room........Klaus stood his ground and wanted to get his Cerestaff. "what is this!? where's my Cerestaff!?"
"Oh??" said the ghost. "but you can't hold it at all. now that you have Robot limbs the Code from the Tysten's Will into what I now see as petty existence... is only to be held by a True Mabasoru! I dare you to find a small little device that can replicate Flesh!" he laughed without really sounding like laughter. "YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!" "you already have.... and now, I must haunt you until you find your father!" ....Klaus was getting seriously Engulfed with Fury and Wrath. "He was a Better Vixion than you'll ever be, Longevitis!" "Oh????? but there's already a bigger evil than me and the lost bond of Religion betwixt Memphiles and Eternal Damnation combined! you see, life is like a box of chocolates you never kno-!"
Klaus was pissed. he was ready to throw a flower vase at his ass! but he was too angry to focus! "shut up, Doctor! you know who he is, you know his hardships! he had to work in the Nuclear Bomb Industry just to put food on my plate! and I never knew his name! I never even seen him ever.... EVER! .....I had so many birthdays and Father's Days without him! TO HELL WITH HIMMMM!!!" he started to cry and sing "In the Ghetto" by Elvis Presley just to cope with himself.
Risa overheard the crying. "What does he ....." Risa came into the room. "It's okay, you don't need to sing such Ancient music, shhhh... it's okay, Your dad must have loved you no matter what. he Probably didn't want to burden your mom with raising you with a dead end job that didn't pay enough. it's okay. shhh shh shhhh shhh shh shhhh..."
Meanwhile, In a nearby Moon over Surrmont in the dead of the cold cold darkest late evening where the Theromutes were getting so disturbed and mad at each other all because of one stupid fight that happened at some fucking High School which, in reality let's face it. probably got the entire Neighborhood going. Cross, Zowce's Executive... was surviving. he stuck his hand up and amidst all the fire laid by whatever was left of his boss's ship. "jesus! it's been way too long!" he ran across the entire moon of Surrmont. looking for a fucking transportation rig to fly off the planet, and do something.....
U N F O R G I V A B L E
CHAPTER 22 COMPLETE.