tw: death
ITINAPIS NI KELLY ang roba sa katawan at gulat na bumagsak ang tingin sa sahig dahil sa narinig. Hindi niya akalain na.. ganoon.. at halos siya tulala na lang.
"I'll.. go home.. " Caleb looked at her.
Tumango siya. "You should. I-I'll see if I can also go home tomorrow.. "
Caleb kissed her temples for goodbye. Hanggang sa makaalis ito ay lumilipad lang ang utak niya kung saan.
"C-Comatose?" Kinumpira niya kay Freesia habang nasa skype sila.
Freesia sighed. "Oo. Senyora Felicima received an emergency treatment pero siguro dahil sa edad.. she's still unconscious and the doctor said that she might not likely wake up anytime soon. " Tumikhim ito. "Luckily, it's unruptured aneurysm. Iyon nga lang, pagkatapos ng coiling, bumigay ang katawan nito. "
So at the next day, she breached a contract for Amsterdam shoot. Galit na galit ang manager niya. Kalat na rin sa media ang pagtanggi niya. It's fine. She'll fix it soon.
Nalalapit na rin ang kasal ng kapatid niya pero wala siya sa wisyo. Pagkauwi ng bansa ay dumiretso agad siya sa hospital. She saw Caleb's father outside of the room. Napakurap siya. It isn't the first time he saw him but..
Tumingin ito sa kan'ya at bahagya lang ngumiti bago ibinalik ang atensyon sa kausap sa cellphone. Nakahinga siya nang maluwag doon at inilibot na lang ang paningin hanggang sa makita si Journey na lumabas ng pinto ng kwarto. Simple lang ang suot nito. Mukhang hindi pumasok.
"Journey.. " pukaw niya sa atensyon nito kaya't napatigin sa kan'ya ang dalaga. Gulat pa itong napatingin sa kanya.
"Ate.. akala ko.. "
Ngumiti lang siya at hinila ito paupo sa may mababang bangko.
"Did you eat? I brought your brother some and I packed for you too. " Pakita niya sa paper bag.
"I ate with Daddy, Ate. Si Kuya ang hindi pa. He went somewhere and he's still not coming back. I'm getting worried. "
Tumango siya at sinubukang tawagan ito. She pursed her lips when she can't contact him. Pinatay yata ang cellphone.
Binisita lang niya ang Senyora at nag-iwan ng prutas sa kwarto nito. She keeps on getting emotional. Siguro ay dahil bago pa man niya magustuhan si Caleb, she first looked up to the lady of Acosta.
Sa araw na iyon ay hindi niya nakita si Caleb. Kinabukasan ay bumalik ulit siya abroad. She doesn't want to be a trouble to anyone. Lalo na sa manager niya na ilang taon ding humahawak sa kan'ya.
Sa mga sumunod na araw ay nakakausap naman niya si Caleb. Ngunit kadalasan ay ilang minuto lang. At minsan, hindi pa sumasakto ang mga oras nila.
Kelly built herself to be a professional. She mastered everything for her career. At madalas tumatakbo ng maayos ang trabaho niya. She can't remember the last time she made a mistake with her chosen field. But in the span of a week, she really messed up.
"10 minutes break, Kelly! We've been at this for an hour! What's your problem?!" Iyon ang naisigaw ng director.
She sighed and immediately went to the dressing room.
"Pro? Elite Model? She's like an amateur, " a co-model, which she can't remember the name, said. Hindi na niya iyon pinansin at sumalpak lang sa sofa. Dali-dali niyang binuksan ang cellphone at napabuntung-hininga nang walang makitang kahit anong galing kay Caleb.
After so many cuts, she went home, exhausted. Para bang iyon na ang pinakamahirap na naging shooting niya. Kahit sa totoo ay katulad lang iyon ng mga normal. She just can't keep up herself and stick to her thing. Nasa ibang sitwasyon talaga ang utak niya.
That night, she read an article; Senyora Felicima's death.
At nang gabing iyon ay bumalik ulit siya sa bansa, hindi na nag-abalang magpaalam. Sinundo siya ni Freesia sa airport dahil ayaw niyang abalahin ang kapatid sa nalalapit na kasal nito.
"Caleb.. " tawag niya sa kasintahan nang makita ito pagkababa niya ng sasakyan.
Tipid itong ngumiti at kinuha ang dala niyang maliit na bag.
"I bet you're tired.. " Caleb said.
Gusto niyang isagot na hindi siya pagod. O siguro, nakalimutan niya ang pakiramdam na iyon.
"I'm fine.. " mahina niyang sinagot. "I'm sorry. Ngayon lang ako. "
And when he smiled like he was telling that it's fine, she felt more guilty. Sa mga araw na nahihirapan si Caleb, nasaan ba siya?
Nanatili siya sa Pilipinas. Pagkatapos ng libing ay agad siyang bumalik. She turned down some major contracts. It felt like.. she didn't want that big spotlight anymore.
At wala pang isang linggo pagkatapos ng libing ni Senyora, Gray.. died.
Why does it have to be so soon? Kelly might not be really close with Gray, but they ate together! They celebrate Freesia's birthday together! He introduced his self to her!
Siya nga na halos mapiga ang puso sa sakit, paano pa kaya ang mga kaibigan nito? His wife? They just got married!
Sa puntong iyon ay hindi na siya nakauwi sa Pilipinas. Naiisip na rin niya na putulin ang kontrata. She can pay a bounty. Parang ang dalawang taong natitira sa kontrata niya ay napakatagal. She doesn't want to miss the the moments her presence is needed.
But seeing her manager begged her not to, it almost choke her. Oo nga pala, hindi lang career niya ang matatapos. She has a team under her.
The next weeks were worst. Freesia left the country too. Freesia wanted to travel the world to come up with the terms of loss. At interesado siya doon. She wanted to join Freesia. Kung puwede lang sana.
"Should we break up?" She whispered while looking at the busy lights of the city from the balcony. She tilted her body and looked at Caleb. "Should we?"
"No.. " Sinagot agad ni Caleb.
"What if I wanted to? You won't let me?"
Nang masabi niya iyon ay hindi agad ito nakasagot. She knows Caleb. He'll have a hard time opposing with her decisions.
She leaned on the railings and stared again at the city lights. "I feel like for the past month, we both.. became awkward. " Kelly bit her lip. "Ang daming nangyari pero pareho sa atin ang walang nag-ungkat noon. We never talked about it. It feels forbidden.. even to ask. Naisip ko na baka.. baka hindi parin tayo komportable sa isa't isa. And isn't good for a relationship, right?"
"I'm comfortable with you.. " His voice was calm. "And if you'll ask me about what happened, then I'll answer you. "
Ngumiti siya. "That's it. I can't. "
"You can. You can try. "
Kelly yawned because she's getting sleepy. "You know that I have a bad attitude. Madali akong magsawa sa mga bagay... sa mga tao. If I don't want something, then I don't. "
His breathing became heavy. Rinig na rinig niya iyon.
"So you don't want this anymore? You don't want me?"
She chuckled. "No. I just got so tired trying to fight the time. I'm not for battlefields. I'm not strong. Kapag hindi ko na kaya.. susukuan ko. I grew up with that thinking. " Nangilid ang luha niya. Hindi man lang niya namalayan. "So.. should we, Caleb? Should we end this?"
Caleb looked away. "You're just confused. "
Kaya't pinagpatuloy parin nila ang kanilang relasyon. Baka nga.. baka nga naguguluhan lang siya. She's afraid that she'll regret it soon if she didn't try fighting for their relationship. It's a rough month for the both of them, but it's fine.. as long as they don't fight.. right?
Napansin niya iyon sa relasyon nila. Wala silang malaking naging pag-aaway. And these days, it felt like no one wanted to make a mistake.. to even complain.. to even ask. It seems like Caleb's trying to make their relationship as perfect as it is. Pero hindi siya sigurado.. kung dapat bang ganoon.
"I'm attending a Gala in Orleans tomorrow, " she announced.
Caleb looked at her and nodded. "Then I'll go back to my work. "
Nakagat niya ang labi sa sinagot nito. This is what she's saying. For the past month, you can never hear any complaints and demands from him. Hindi katulad nang madalas nitong asta noon. 'I'll go with you, ' or 'I'll take you there' is gone.
Kelly felt like he is not Caleb anymore.
Umuwi din siya ng Pilipinas pagkaraan ng dalawang linggo para sa kasal ng kapatid niya. Her heart burst seeing his brother and Eli finally getting married in a right way.
At the next day, Caleb left the country to go to Japan. Nagkaroon ng sunog sa isa sa mga hotel nito sa Kyoto. Luckily, except for some minor injuries, everything's fine.
At mula nang pumunta ito sa Japan.. hindi na muli sila nagkita sa mga sumunod na buwan.
"I don't know what's up with him. Last week, we talked after I told him to give me the address of his own hotel here in New Zealand. He sounds fine and well. I didn't know that he doesn't contact you for days now?" Freesia replied when Kelly asked the girl if there's something going on with Caleb.
It was embarrassing. She is the girlfriend and yet.. she has to ask someonelse.
"Should you ask his friends? Say Daniel and Lucas? Maybe they both know. Kahit ako ay nagtataka na rin na hindi ka niya kinocontact. He's crazy for you. So there might be a reason, right?"
Iyon nga ang ginawa niya. She asked Daniel and Lucas but they said that he just might be somewhere, planning to built another hotel. They even call it as 'Caleb's World Domination'.
She asked Journey too. Ang sinagot lang sa kan'ya, baka daw nag-iisip lang sa gilid-gilid. Kahit medyo nonsense ang sinagot nito, hindi na niya pinatulan dahil abala pa naman ang dalaga sa pag-aaral. Nagbabago na daw ito ng buhay.
Kelly's overly stressed for the whole month. Naiinis na din siya kay Caleb. He's turning like a Dora Explorer. Gala nang gala!
Naiintindihan niya ang nararamdaman nito. She never saw him shed a tear when his grandmother died. Iniisip niya na siguro.. ngayon nito kinailangan ng space. Na ngayon ay napakalaking space na. It's almost a month! Why can't he just call her just for once? O kaya magpaalam na lalayo muna ito dahil kailangan ng oras para sa sarili? She'll understand! She'll wait!
At ang mas nakakapagtaka pa, halos lahat ng pinagtatanungan niya ay parang sinasagot lang siya ng kahit anong maisip nilang sagot. Kahit si Freesia, ganoon na rin ang mga sagot sa kan'ya.
"Hindi ko rin alam. Siguro ginagaya niya ako? He'll travel the world too to forget? Baka nasa Amazon River siya ngayon at nakikipagbunuan sa black piranha?" si Freesia.
"O kaya ay nasa North Pole at naghahanap ng bagong pananaw sa buhay?" dugtong pa nito.
Naiinis at naiinip na siya sa sitwasyon kaya't nagfocus na lang siya sa trabaho. Kung focus bang matatawag iyon.
Pabalik-balik din siya sa bansa. Fortunately, hindi pa naman nauubos ang pera niya sa kakabalik-balik.
"Almost 4 months na?" mangha siyang tumingin sa baby bump ng asawa ni Gray. Agape doesn't look like pregnant, though.
"Yes. You want to be her or his godmother?" tanong nito na para bang halos lahat nang makilala ay lagi nitong tinatanong ng ganoon.
"Sure! I won't hide to your baby every Christmas!"
Pagala-gala lang naman siya sa cafe ni Freesia na ngayon ay nowhere to be found na. On going naman ang business nito kahit nasa ibang lupaop man ito ng mundo. Umiinom lang siya ng kape nang pumasok si Agape at nakita siya. They met each other before so Agape invited her for dinner. Kaya't ngayon ay nasa penthouse siya nito at nakikikain.
"Wala kang kasama dito?" tanong niya nang makitang walang kasambahay o kahit ano.
"I'm living with my bestfriend. My sister-in-law is always here, too. "
"Oh, I see. Claresta Medina?" tanong niya dahil kilala niya ang socialite at doctor na pinsan ni Gray. Madalas itong nasa mga medical missions.
"Yes, but she's not here at the moment. Hospital duties.. "
Natuwa naman siya sa pakikipag-usap sa babae. Agape's nice, soft-spoken, and elegant. Para itong babaeng hindi man lang nagmumura. Very opposite of her.
Agape let her see the nursery. Temporary lang daw iyon dahil lilipat din ito ng bahay pagkapanganak. But she still giggled with the pastel colors of the nursery room. It looks adorable.
"Thank you for the dinner, Agape. I'll invite you to my own party soon.. " aniya.
Agape smiled. "Probably after I give birth?"
Tumawa siya dahil doon at tumango pagkatapos ay nagpaalam.
"What brings you here, Miss?" Kelly sarcastically said when she saw Lily inside her house. Feel at home pa ito habang nanonood ng TV.
Lumingon ito sa kan'ya at kumaway lang bago binalik ang tingin sa pinapanood.
"Don't you have your own television?" inis niyang dugtong.
Ngumuso ito pero sumagot din. "How did you know? I actually don't have. "
Umismid siya. "Did you go poor? Don't tell me you're here to utang to me?"
Lily looks amazed with her. "You didn't see my car? It's Mercedes. And if I'll really go poor, I won't utang to you. " Tumawa ito. "I'm here because your mother just took me here to eat after seeing me strolling around the mall. "
"Fine. Have fun. " She rolled her eyes.
"I'm having a party tomorrow. Want to come?"
Napatingin siya kay Lily. "Why? Is that your way to let me know that you're not really bankrupt?"
"It's my birthday. " Ngumisi ito.
Napatigil siya "Oh.. I'll see if I'm not busy. " sabi niya at dire-diretso lang na naglakad palayo.
"It's 7pm at Damiens! Don't be late!" sinigaw pa nito. Napairap na lang siya.
Kelly isn't sure if it's because she was somehow happy for the whole day. She felt uneasy. Madalas pa naman na kapag masaya ka ay may magiging kapalit.
Like her normal nights, she just changed to a sleep wear and do her skin care. Habang ginagawa iyon ay binuksan niya ang phone para i-message ulit si Caleb. Maybe he'll reply this time.
Pero mapait siyang napangiti nang makita ang mensahe nito. Hindi na niya tinapos ang ginagawa at pabatong hinagis lang ang cellphone. Hinila niya pataas ang comforter at tinabunan ang sarili. Para bang sa paraang iyon ay mapipigilan ang mga luha niya.
Caleb:
You asked me before if we should just break up. I guess you're right.