Remember that time ?
After the diner, everyone retired to sleep. Ariana found herself falling asleep rapidly after her long day even though the idiocy of the Viscount was nagging at the back of her head.
Said Viscount did not fell asleep so easily as he paced around in his study, blaming himself for his careless words. He would apologise to her in the morning. He was running his words in his head, trying to come with the perfect speech. He just had is friend back, he could not loose her so fast.
The next morning after breakfast, Ariana sat with Eloise in the drawing room, answering the incessant questions of the young woman on her studies. Anthony entered the room, ready to deliver his best apology.
"Eloise, do you mind giving me a minute with Ariana please?"
Reluctantly, Eloise made her way out of the room, throwing a glare at her brother when she passed him.
Ariana was still rather angry at the Viscount for his words. She knew he was here to apologise. When they were children, he would often offend her and wait for the next day to find her and apologise. She could tell in the way he was holding himself straighter than usual and by how he was wringing his hands together behind his back. Suddenly, Ariana saw the boy she used to know standing in front of her, having prepared a speech to apologise after careless words. She could not help but smile at the sight as if no time had passed.
"Good morning." Said Ariana. It was the same words she would tell him all these years ago, a way of telling him that she was ready to listen.
"Good morning." Answered Anthony with a small smile that hinted he remembered too.
"I am sorry, Ariana for my words. I do know that you are entirely capable of taking care of your duties and that you do not need a man to do so. My words were careless and stupid. If there is someone able to fulfil these expectations it is you."
"It is fine." Sighed the young lady. "I just did not expected this from you. Do you know how many men came to my door these past few months, telling me that I could never do the work of my father? That because I was a woman, I would not be able to maintain the Earldom and that I would lead it to its loss?"
"Well, there are wrong. You are more capable than most of the men I know. I truly believe that you are able to take care of your lands and its people just as well as your father used to. You were right, my opinion of myself is too high and so is the opinion of most men on themselves. Thankfully, you are here to bring us down to earth."
They shared a smile and as she used to, so many years ago, Ariana pronounced the words that meant forgiveness.
"You better not forget it, you idiot."
On the other side of the door, the family was listening to the conversation. Daphne kept scolding her younger siblings for them to be quiet. Finally Benedict heard her and let out a breath of relief.
"She called him an idiot, he is forgiven. Everything is fine."
The day was spent rapidly. Violet and Daphne giving advice to Eloise and Ariana about the upcoming season while the men were out in business.
At diner that night, the atmosphere was much less tense than the previous day. This time, Hyacinth had took the side of Ariana and she watched the young girl receiving peas, thrown at her by her brother Gregory while she struggled to send them back.
"I have found that the spoon is much more proficient than the fork to fly peas." Ariana whispered to Hyacinth, who smiled mischievously before rapidly switching her tools and making peas rain on her brother who scoffed indignantly at his sudden struggle.
"You should not encourage them." Came the voice of Anthony, low as to not attract attention.
"You were not exactly stopping them either."
"I did not see them." He said with a smirk. Ariana rolled her eyes playfully.
"I remember a time where you were more fun." Ariana teased. "When did you became such an old man?"
The conversation would have been deem scandalous by the ton but the two old friends were used to the banter.
"I am fun." Assured Anthony.
"Sure, well maybe it is for the best. You did always got caught anyway."
"I did not. I was as swift as a cat."
"Is this why you were caught putting a fish in the footman boots?"
"It was your idea! You made me do it!"
"I did no such things, I merely suggested it." Said Ariana innocently.
"You said if I did not do it, you would put the fish in my boots!" Exclaimed Anthony, only to realise that his whole family was watching them with amused smiles. He felt his face grew hot once again. Why was it that he always embarrassed himself in front of his family when Ariana was here.
"Brother?" Asked the voice of Gregory, seemingly not believing the words. "You put a fish in the footman boots?"
"He did." Answered Ariana when it became clear that Anthony was to busy glaring at her to answer. "And he got caught! He had to help clean the stables as punishment!"
By then, the whole family was laughing. Gregory seemed utterly perplexed to think that his oldest brother, always so serious, would do something of the sort.
"Well, at least I did not fall from the tree I was climbing." Said Anthony in a attempt to divert the attention from himself.
"At least, I was brave enough to try to climb it." Came the direct answer of Ariana. At that point Anthony did not know if he really had missed her witty comments and her stubbornness that much.
After everyone calmed down, the diner continued more calmly.
"Where did you get that scar, Ariana?" Asked Hyacinth, while looking at Ariana's hand where a scare, albeit old, was still visible.
"Hyacinth!" Scolded Lady Bridgerton. "You should not ask such questions!"
"It is alright, Lady Bridgerton. Why don't you ask your dear brother, Hyacinth. I am sure he would be delighted to answer you."
Once again, Anthony found himself glaring at the young woman beside him who seemed to have decided to embarrass him as much as possible this evening. When he did not answer, Ariana answered Hyacinth.
"Apparently he will not." She said laughing as his red face. "Well this scar comes from the time your brother lost against me to a Pall Mall game and was so angry that he pushed me in the pond."
The young girls gasped at Ariana's revelation and once again, the whole family's attention was directed at the end of the table.
"Brother, you did not!"
Anthony refused to answer but muttered some words that only Ariana caught.
"I am afraid, my friend, that I did not cheat as you accuse me of. I was simply better." She turned to Hyacinth and continued. "I believe you know that your brother does not like to loose, especially at Pall Mall, so in his fury he pushed me in the pond but while falling I scratched my hand on a rock. That is where the scar comes from. It was nothing, just a cut but I was completely drench in water and I had to walk back all the way to the house that way. When your father saw us and he saw that I had a cut, he was so angry at Anthony that he made him jump into the pond so that he would be drench in water to walk back as well." She finished, unable to hold her laughter any longer.
"Yes, and I got sick because of it." Muttered Anthony.
"Well, I say it was fair Brother." Chimed Colin who instantly became the aim of Anthony's glare.
The rest of the diner was spent recalling old memories but none of them were as embarrassing as the previous ones, which Anthony was grateful for. The younger siblings still seemed completely shocked at the revelations of Ariana on their eldest brother. They always saw him as a serious and cold man that had took the role of their father and they could not possibly imagine him throwing a tantrum after loosing a game even though, it was known that the family was really serious in their Pall Mall games.
After everyone retreated for the night Anthony found himself once again pacing in his study. She had returned merely two days ago and she had already completely messed up his plans. Anthony had promised himself that he would found a wife this season. A wife that would bring respect to his family, an advantageous match with a proper and intelligent lady that knew her place in society and respected it. Ariana was none of that. She was annoying, stubborn and was completely disregarding the role society expected from her. So why was Anthony wondering if he should court her at the beginning of the season?
Because she believed in love and tolerance, in sharing and trusting. Whole, impulsive, sweet, she would rather give than take. She loved to laugh but she cried easily from anger, from sadness, from emotion. She was not afraid of pain, of death, of old age.
His thoughts were disrupted by the exact cause of his trouble. He raised his head at the sound of the door of his study opening and Ariana appeared in the doorframe. She was wearing a coat over her night dress and she had her shoes on.
"Would you like to accompany me to watch the stars?"
"Shouldn't you be sleeping? I thought you had an appointment with the modiste in the morning."
"I do, and I do not believe it will require much energy to stand in a room. Will you come or not? I do not have all night."
Without further comments, Anthony grabbed his vest and followed her. She was holding a candle and was clearly trying to be quiet while walking down the corridors to the door. Anthony followed her in silence, taking her form in the candlelight. He felt like a child again, sneaking out with her after hours in the dark mansion. They finally reach the door in the back of the kitchen. It was the most discreet one and Anthony was surprised she remembered her way so well.
They exited the house and walked to the swings at the back of the garden.
"You could not sleep?" Asked Anthony after taking a seat on one of the swings, Ariana doing the same.
"No. I believe I had to much on my mind to find sleep." She said while swinging slowly. "I cannot believe these swings are still here. I thought they would have already broke with time."
"They seem to have support time quite well. My father built them when I was just a child, the materials must have been sturdy since they have supported all of my siblings."
They shared a laugh at that and let a comfortable silence between them. Ariana watched the stars, she knew she would not catch sleep this night. There was too much on her mind, she hoped that everything was running smoothly in Rosebery, she was terrified at the idea of letting her father down. The day at the Bridgerton's had managed to take her thoughts away for a while but at night she found herself becoming more and more anxious towards the future.
"Do you wish to tell me what is keeping you up?" Asked Anthony after a while. She turned to look at him. She could not deny he had become quite handsome. His features were sharp and his body lean and muscular. He was not the little boy with muddy shoes that used to tease her all day. He was a man, a Viscount and Ariana could see the passage of time on his face. He looked older than he was and she could only imagine that taking the head of his family at such a young age must have had its impact. She had realised the same thing about herself. In the past few months, it seemed she had grown several years. She was only twenty but her features looked older too. They both had lost their youth and innocence to the weight of responsibilities.
"I am afraid." She confessed with a sigh. "I am afraid of failing my parents. They were the most loving parents but they always had great expectations toward me."
"I believe they would be proud of you."
"Maybe, but what of the future? What if I do not succeed in ruling the earldom like my father wished me to? What if a do not find a husband like my mother wished me to? What if I cannot live to their expectations?"
Anthony took a deep breath at her confession. He understood, he knew how she felt. What pressure she was under.
"I wondered the same thing for a long time too. I was terrified that if my father could see me, he would be ashamed of me. Then I realised that the only thing I could do was my best. That maybe I would not always succeed and honour him the way I should but I could do my best to do so. That is the only thing you can do. You can do your best and if it is not enough then I least you have tried."
"I do not think he would be ashamed of you." Said Ariana softly. "I think he would be pretty proud. You have done great Anthony, even though you still have some stupid moments."
Anthony chuckled at her words.
"Thank you for letting me stay here. Seeing your family did me much more good than I could have expected. I had missed you all very much."
"Of course, Ana. You will always be welcome here."
The affectionate childhood nickname left his lips before he could stop it. He looked at her gauging her reaction. She seemed surprised at the old name but smiled softly at him.
"Thank you Tony."
After Anthony accompanied her to her room later that night, she found that sleep came to her easily. She was relieved to have share some of her troubling thoughts with someone that understood them but most of all she was glad to have her friend back.