Beomgyu will never fall in love.
It was a secluded promise to himself, one he held dearly. One he swore by. He found himself straying far from any possible romantic interests in fear that his idea would be disregarded.
He didn't have a fixed reason, though. It's not that his parent had cut ties - they're fine, really - and he hasn't gone through a traumatic occurrence either.
He has just gotten his heart broken one too many times. In a world like this, that could cost you more than just a few weeks of profound heartache.
Beomgyu couldn't perceive how some people could be so greedy and selfish, boasting their five full, gleaming hearts as they broke his dejected, limited ones.
He, too, once had a full set, only for it to be corrupted so early on. His first love was deemed for failure. It was around the start of high school when he first fell in love with a girl a grade above his. She was stunning. He knew she would grow up with well-developed features that would have people drooling.
When he confessed, he was ecstatic when she claimed she felt the same. He cherished her and thought they'd grow up as high school sweethearts- It was only appropriate since it was his first time being in love.
Of course, things like that don't last. She deserted him for another boy- a senior at that.
That was when his first heart had dimmed.
It didn't hurt physically. It never does. The day she left him, he spent the day sulking in his room, even crying a few times. What had he done wrong? Why did his chest ache at the thought of unwillingly messing up? Around one in the morning, he noticed the light leave the first of his hearts, gradually losing its raw glow. By the next day, the first heart had completely eclipsed amongst his collection.
No matter, though. It was only one- one heart. He had four more and he was not going to stop there.
He got over it quicker than he wanted, desperate to redeem himself. His second love was only a year after his first. Another girl, only this time in his grade. He was positive about this one. Being the hopeless romantic he was, he felt devoted to her. She had five full hearts. They were content together, it was the perfect combination. He met her parents countless times and was happy with what they had.
Until a year into their relationship, she told him she had to move away. She told him she couldn't bear long-distance relationships, leaving him with nothing but a distant memory.
His second heart had dimmed to an ash grey that night.
When he went to visit her one last time at the airport, he easily noticed that she still had all five hearts. She wasn't heartbroken like he was. She never loved him as he did her.
Three left. Still okay. He's still hanging on.
Around his senior year of high school, he decided he would experiment a little and explore his sexuality. Luckily for him, a lively boy caught his eye and Beomgyu found himself involved, yet again. He tried not to fall for the boy, noticing how much he was at risk if the boy hurt him.
The boy had five hearts, giving him unwanted memories. He kept falling for the ones with too many hearts to spare. He felt anxious about his own, usually covering his three remaining hearts.
Beomgyu kept the feeling to himself, afraid of truly coming out. He and the boy hung out and became insanely close, emphasising his feelings.
Eventually, after a few months of pining, he confessed.
As anticipated, he got rejected. The boy wasn't interested. He lost a friend that day, too.
Beomgyu wasn't sure why the rejection hurt more than it should have, resulting in yet another heart following the same depressing state as the first two. He noticed how with every faded heart, the pain of losing someone was much more than the one before it. As if, the lack of hearts was giving him a warning, telling him to step up and stop getting his heartbroken. The ache in his chest was intensifying with every person.
He only had two left. He resolved he would be cautious with who he involved himself with. His parents warned him, too.
Once he got into college, his freshman year was a breeze. He met a boy a year over him; Choi Soobin, with three hearts. They stuck together but he felt no feelings grew. Beomgyu solely enjoyed his company. The boy was bright and genuinely likable to be around. It was easy to distract Beomgyu from falling in love when he had Soobin. He let out a breath of relief at that one.
Except, he held it back in once he found himself wrapped around another boy's finger. He was two years older and, honestly, that should've been his first flag, yet he was naïve. Surprisingly, this boy confessed to Beomgyu first, very early on too. Confused, he still went along with it. Win-win situation.
This boy was different, though. He made grand, public romantic gestures and spoiled Beomgyu.
He had five bright hearts, too, which was extremely unusual. It was unknown for people over the age of eighteen to have a full row of hearts. Usually, it'd be the assholes who didn't care about anyone. They're the ones who had all their hearts. You're supposed to avoid people like that.
That should have been Beomgyu's cue to leave.
Still, he stayed. He stayed because he was too ignorant to notice the abnormality of their relationship. He stayed because he was falling in love way too fast. He stayed because, even though his last experience should've shown him the truth about love, he found himself yearning for it. For the feeling of being wanted the way he wanted to love someone. The way he wanted to give someone his all.
That was why this one hurt the most. He'd fallen deep even though he didn't want to. He was scared of how the bond would develop since he didn't have much hearts to spare. He should've left.
Alas, he didn't, leading to his inevitable demise. Beomgyu caught the senior cheating on him with a freshman, a scam that was going on for three months during their relationship. That was the worst hurt he'd ever felt.
The heart on his wrist didn't even fade gradually like it was supposed to. It was as if someone flipped a switch and, suddenly, the heart was dark. Beomgyu was left with only one heart left, glowing brightly admits the row of ashen black ones.
When you lose your last heart, you can't fall in love again. You're stuck. You lose feelings for your last love almost instantly and you're left wrung and empty. It doesn't stop at romantic love. You lose the devotion and adoration for your friends and family, too. You lose your love for your interests and passions. People, pets, movies, everything. For most, it's a world without love. A world too dull to bear.
Which is why Beomgyu will never fall in love ever again.
He couldn't risk it. He'd been given four chances and he blew them all, leaving him so close to what he wanted to avoid. He strayed away from any romantic love as if it were a disease, determined to stay clean. He wouldn't let himself get hurt again. A wall was built in the process.
Two years later, in his junior year of college, he was content with being single and, most importantly, staying single. He was majoring in music, his passion. A passion he wouldn't have anymore if he'd fallen in love again. He had two close friends, Choi Yeonjun, who he met a year ago, and Choi Soobin.
Yeonjun had three hearts and was majoring in dance and performance while Soobin, now with two, in art. Beomgyu also knew Hueningkai, a sophomore who Soobin took under his wing since his freshman year. Hueningkai had four hearts and majored in music, like Beomgyu.
Beomgyu was good. He was set for life. He would graduate and ultimately pursue a career in composing music.
He was good.
Emphasis on was.
The downfall began when he was spending his lunch hours with Soobin and Hueningkai at a modest cafe on campus. Kai rambled on about his day with enthusiasm as Soobin listened with a small smile, typing on his laptop. Beomgyu relished the company.
It had been fairly uneventful. Everything was going as usual, until Soobin spoke.
"I forgot to tell you," he began, gaining a swift interest in the conversation, "there's a new student in my media management class."
"New?" Beomgyu doubted. "Now? They missed a quarter of the semester, though."
"You sure they're new? What if you just didn't see them before?" Hueningkai piped in, a teasing smile playing on his lips. "Your eyesight must be weakening with age, hyung."
Soobin gave him a light smack on the back of his head, earning a pained yelp. "He is new. He joined, like, halfway through the lecture and the professor even introduced him," he explained through a mouth full of baked goods, "his name is Taehyun. He had this really cool, bright red hair. I think he's a junior, like you, Beom. He's a bit younger, though."
"Why are you telling us this?" Beomgyu asked, bored as he took small sips from his drink.
"Because," Soobin smirked, "he had all his five hearts."
Beomgyu nearly choked on his drink.
Five hearts at this age? How is that possible? How can you go so long without being broken even once?
Beomgyu felt his mood cloud with jealousy. It was a spiteful feeling. One that could claw at you until you give in to its desires. His chest tightened with irritation. He wasn't the type to get easily infuriated, yet when it came to the topic of those sickening hearts, he was an easy trigger.
Now he was curious.
"All five?" Beomgyu blanked after a brief coughing fit.
"Yeah, all five," Soobin nodded along, "I'm pretty sure the whole class was surprised too. Everyone was staring."
Beomgyu hadn't met a single student with a full row of hearts after his last breakup. He doesn't trust those kinds of people.
Hueningkai simply stared, eyebrows furrowed, "I don't get it," he joined, "what's so surprising?"
Before Soobin could explain, Beomgyu dove straight into character without hesitance. He spoke from experience, after all. "People with all five hearts are usually assholes, Kai. They're remorseless and don't care about anyones feelings but their own- which is why they have five. Don't involve yourself with them if you want to keep your hearts."
"What if they just don't fall in love? Or they're still dating their first love?" Hueningkai questioned with a look of confusion. Beomgyu felt his mood dip in frustration, dripping into his tone.
"Don't ask those stupid questions," Beomgyu rolled his eyes, "just take advice from your hyung."
Hueningkai scoffed sprightly, "No offense, but your advice sucks, hyung."
"It's the only advice you're getting."
Before Hueningkai could throw an excuse back, Soobin interrupted, clicking his tongue. "Hyuka, it's almost three, you have a class," he stopped him. "Save your breath for running instead of arguing with Beomgyu."
Hueningkai cursed under his breath, hastily gathering his belongings before sparing a short goodbye to the two and sprinting out.
"I swear, sometimes I have to act like his dad," Soobin told Beomgyu, adverting his attention back to his laptop with a sigh. Beomgyu didn't reply, his mind was elsewhere. Almost instantaneously, Soobin noticed the difference. Perks of being so close to him. "What're you thinking about?"
"How much do you bet I can break one of that boys hearts?"
A pause. "What?" Soobin's mouth fell open. "Taehyun? You're not serious."
"I am."
"Are you out of your mind?" Soobin scolded him as if he couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth. He lowered his voice and leaned forward, tapping his fingers on the table. "Breaking one of someone's hearts on purpose?"
"Come on, Binnie, what's one less heart out of five? Five! It won't be that serious. Hueningkai has four and he's doing fine," he emphasized on his point.
"That's kind of an asshole move if you ask me. What if he doesn't even deserve it?"
Beomgyu gave him a look which screamed really? Listen to yourself. "Soobin, we've both been played by someone with five hearts. On purpose. You know how cocky they are. Even if he doesn't deserve it, he might not fall for me if he's kept all his hearts for this long. You could get some money out of this. Fun and games, that's it."
"And what if you fall in love with him instead?"
Beomgyu almost laughed at the absurdity of the question.
"That's out of the picture. I'm not falling in love with anyone. Especially someone with five hearts."
Soobin, still adorning his disapproving look, seemed to consider it for a while, pulling his lips into a straight line. "How much?"
"Like, thirty dollars? That's the best I can do."
"Fifty. I know it won't happen," Soobin bargained, finally giving in.
Beomgyu smirked, feeling his body fill to the brim with excitement, "Looks like I'm about to be fifty dollars richer."
"Sure," Soobin rolled his eyes, unaffected by the threats. He was confident in himself. "Time Limit is five months. He seems like a hard to break kind of guy."
"Five?" Beomgyu scoffed. "Give me two. I can do it in two. Possibly less."
Soobin raised an eyebrow at him, "Your call," he shrugged. The boy underestimated him hugely.
Even though Beomgyu hasn't been in love for a while, he was sure he still had the skills to serenade. He needed someone else to fall in love with him, not the other way around. It would be a simple task. He just had to stop himself from falling in love in the process.
Taehyun, you don't know what's about to hit you.
After that day, Beomgyu went completely out of his way to find Taehyun and get started as soon as possible.
It wasn't the money on the line that was driving him. Frankly, he couldn't care less about it. He wouldn't admit it, but it was more of a personal mission. Something inside him would finally rest once he sees a heart fade from a row of five for himself. It was selfish and dangerous but that was how the world worked. That was how he worked. It was like payback for what he'd gone through.
He hadn't been able to spot the head of red hair as Soobin described, already putting him at disadvantage. He kept his eyes open especially when he was visiting Soobin at his building since he shared a class with the five hearted boy. It was tiring trying to chase someone he didn't know and Soobin refused to help him. Unfair play.
That was until one faithful day when Beomgyu went to meet Soobin at his class, he noticed a red-haired boy out of the corner of his eye.
Bingo.
Beomgyu abruptly halted in his tracks, eyeing the boy with determination. Soobin noticed his sudden interest, bumping into him once he stopped. He followed his line of view and locking eyes with the same target.
"Not now, Gyu," Soobin whined, letting out a deep sigh as he rubbed his stomach, "I'm hungry."
"So that is him?" Beomgyu neglected his complaint, watching the boy red-haired plug his earphones in. "Time to shoot my shot."
Soobin groaned in defeat, sporting a prominent pout, "Beomgyu, please."
Beomgyu ignored him once again, running his hand through his hair a few times before striding over.
Taehyun was rooted in place, distracted and scrolling through his phone with one earphone in. He was dressed fairly casually; a plain white tee-shirt, jeans, and a dark hoodie.
The sleeves were rolled only slightly, indeed showcasing his five glowing, mocking hearts.
It fuelled Beomgyu's intentions even more.
"Hey," Beomgyu started once he found himself in front of the boy, swallowing down the bitterness which threatened to lace his voice.
Taehyun jumped in his place, pulling out his earphone as his face contorted in dismay. He raised an eyebrow, looking at Beomgyu with confusion. "Hello?"
Beomgyu simply flashed a small smile, "You're new, right? My friend told me you just joined. He's in your class, actually," he spoke evenly.
"Uh, yeah," Taehyun staggered, "and you are?"
"Choi Beomgyu, I'm a junior," he stuck a hand out for Taehyun to shake, "I worked with the tour committee at the start of the year but since you joined later they aren't offering tours anymore. However, I'm still available most of the time so I thought I could help you around," Beomgyu lied fluently, satisfied when Taehyun shook his hand.
This would be a breeze.
Taehyun seemed to consider it for a second before eventually nodding, "Sure, I guess," he shrugged, "I'm Taehyun, same year as you."
"Nice to meet you, Taehyun," Beomgyu smiled. He swiftly pulled out his phone, handing it to Taehyun who still held the same lost expression. "Oh, can I have your number? We could schedule a time to meet so I can show you around."
He mumbled a small 'okay' and took the phone in his hands, starting to type in his number. Beomgyu watched him tentatively.
Taehyun was pretty. It was the first thing that Beomgyu noticed. The boy was beyond handsome.
In all, he wouldn't be surprised if Taehyun used it to his advantage and went around using his looks to his advantage. He probably had people swooning over him with a glance their way.
Not Beomgyu. Never again.
Something about the boy didn't sit right with Beomgyu. He didn't seem too overconfident or cocky, as he'd expected. He dressed modestly and, well, he was really attractive.
Still, he seemed closed off. His words were curt and his sentences were short, showing little to no interest in their conversation.
"Here," Taehyun handed the phone back.
His name was inputted as Kang Taehyun.
"Thanks," Beomgyu smiled contently, making sure his dimple was prominent. "I'll text you soon and we can discuss. It was nice meeting you."
"Likewise..."
Beomgyu gave him one last smile, "I like your hair, by the way," he complimented before retreating to Soobin. He considered winking but he needed Taehyun to fall in love with him, not think he was a flirty jerk.
To his surprise, Soobin was still waiting for him in the same place, a pout playing at his lips. Beomgyu ran up to him, throwing an arm around his shoulders despite the uncomfortable height difference. Soobin let out a startled sound at the sudden action. He was an easy scare.
"Aish, Beomgyu, don't do that," Soobin brushed him off. "You came back quickly."
"Quality over quantity, hyung," Beomgyu spoke with confidence. He held his phone up, waving it tauntingly in front of the elder. "I got his number."
Soobin's mouth dropped, "What? Already?"
"My charms are unbeatable," Beomgyu dragged a shell-shocked Soobin along with him, "might as well pay for my meals for the next few days. I've already got him wrapped around my finger."
"I don't believe that," Soobin scoffed, collecting himself, "I won't believe anything until I see four hearts on his wrist."
"At your service."
No problem.
Beomgyu decided he would text Taehyun as soon as his classes ended. It's was all the better to get things over with as soon as possible than to stretch it on for him. His clock was ticking.
Once he left his lecture, he sped his way through campus ground, scrolling carelessly through his phone until he reached a quiet spot by another building. With a sigh, he took a seat on the grass, back leaning against the base of a tree. Beomgyu searched Kang Taehyun in his contacts and immediately found his victim.
He felt the corner of his lip tilt upwards in a satisfied smirk. The motivation he felt sky-rocketed and he was determined once again.
Yet, oddly, he hesitated. His thumb hovered over the contact, unmoving for a split second. It was unlike him to act on such a whim, yet here he was, claiming to work for a tour committee that their university didn't even offer.
Why was he going out of his way for this?
It didn't matter. His mind told him it'd be worth it.
He didn't ponder on the thought too long. Once the memories of the assholes who broke his hearts clouded his mind, his goal was set high yet again. This time, without hesitance, he clicked the contact to open a new chat, feeling the buried emotions fuel his mission.
-:
hello hello!
kang taehyun:
who is this?
-:
ah i should've introduced myself first my bad !!
this is choi beomgyu from earlier :) i offered to help you with navigation!
kang taehyun:
ah, i remember you. thanks for offering, i appreciate it.
-:
aish no need to thank me! it's the least i could do T^T it's a huge place i understand the struggle
i was thinking we could arrange a time to meet up?
i'm done with my classes for today so i'm good with any time
kang taehyun:
i have my media management class at 6pm, so i'm not sure if i can do today.
does tomorrow work for you?
-:
fine by me!!
i only have one class tomorrow at 8am for about two hours so i'm good with any time after that ^~^
kang taehyun:
we could meet up around 12? if that's okay with you.
-:
no problem!
we can start at the campus cafe
im assuming you know where that is though,,,
kang taehyun:
im aware, dont worry. i'll see you then.
-:
see you soon, taehyun-ah~
Beomgyu was overthinking.
Naturally, it was a regular process for him. With how much he's experienced, he's well aware of how his mind works. It jumbles all his intentions and produces countless possibilities, one after the other. Some would be promising while the majority would drive him to the point where he'd begin to doubt his goal.
Now was one of those moments.
He was standing by the door of the campus café, two drinks in his hands as he waits patiently for Taehyun. He decided he would arrive a bit earlier to order them drinks, an action which would give him a boost and put him straight on Taehyun's likable people list
That was until he started really thinking. What if Taehyun didn't even like boys? He'd make an absolute fool out of himself with a conclusion like that. What if he was coming off too strong? Would it even matter since he doesn't actually have an interest in Taehyun? His intentions weren't as pure as he'd wish, yet something inside him urged him to go with it.
He shoved those thoughts down and locked them up once the head of red hair caught his eye. Taehyun was speed walking towards him, eyes set in familiarity once he spotted Beomgyu. He was dressed in a blue short-sleeved shirt and black shorts, a small grey backpack hanging low on his back.
And, of course, his hearts. His five, bright, full hearts glowing against his skin.
Every time Beomgyu saw those, he felt his intentions fill with purpose again.
So, with a small smile, he met Taehyun halfway.
"Taehyun, hey," Beomgyu greeted, waving his drink-occupied hand.
"I'm sorry I'm a bit late," Taehyun jumped to apologies, running his fingers through his silky hair, "I forgot we were doing this and got ready last minute."
"Hey, hey, it's okay. I didn't wait too long, no worries," he reassured him. Before Taehyun could spew out another string of apologies, Beomgyu cut him off, holding up the drink. "Here, I bought us drinks. I wasn't sure what you liked so I hope a caramel latte is fine with you."
Taehyun seemed surprised by the gesture, genuinely amused by the drink held in front of him. "Why?" he spoke. "How much was it? Let me pay you back."
"Taehyun-ah, it's okay," Beomgyu chuckled, satisfied when Taehyun finally took the drink out of his hands, "consider it a nice deed from me. You might owe me one in the future, though."
Taehyun smiled at that, taking a small, tentative sip before speaking, "Should've known there was a catch."
"No catch, just my great charms," Beomgyu teased nonchalantly.
"So charming, Beomgyu-ssi."
"Hyung," he corrected him with a small smile. "You can call me hyung." Level up.
With that, Beomgyu started their supposed tour. He didn't have an exact map laid out in his head to begin with, which was his first mistake. He aimlessly began walking around and naming the places they visited, relating them to other places to try make him seem more knowledgable.
Surprisingly, it wasn't as awkward as it should have been. Beomgyu found himself having small conversations with Taehyun each time the ventured to new destinations. He was an interesting person to talk to and his voice was oddly soothing to listen to. He didn't give away many personal things, though, which could've helped Beomgyu with his task. The boy talked mainly about school work. Never his personal interests, friends or family.
Even though Beomgyu was relieved the tour went well, he was greedily frustrated that Taehyun wasn't the egoistic asshole he expected him to be. He wasn't like the other people who flaunted their five hearts, going around flirting with just about every moving thing. Taehyun didn't once bring up his hearts, nor did he ask Beomgyu about his hearts.
But who was Beomgyu to judge upon first impressions? His trust issues had grown bigger than his general respect for people and he found himself stuck at the bottom of a pit where the top was indistinguishable.
To put it simply; even though Taehyun seemed harmless, Beomgyu will still break one of his hearts.
He won't rest until then
___________________________________________________
Credits to @kaidougyu for making this story and credits to ᴮᴱjay⁷➳❥?$
@xoJikookox for making the story cover
-Bling Bling