A ONE-SIDED LOVE
"For goodness' sake, Gabriel! You're so drunk!" I gasped as I guided him to his bedroom.
"No, I'm not. Kaunti lang..." he murmured huskily.
I just scoffed and put him on his bed.
"Did you drive your car at this state?" pagalit kong tanong sa kanya.
He chuckled and the pain was visible in his eyes, "No, Mariel drove me home, Luna. I think she's still in love with me. Bakit niya ako iniwan? Ano ba ang pagkukulang ko?"
I was stunned when I heard the name of his ex-girlfriend. It's been years since they broke but he still loves that girl huh? I stared at him and tears started forming in the corner of my eyes.
"Hindi ka nagkulang, sumobra ka lang," I answered him.
His lips protruded a bit at the sight of his anger. Dalawang beses siyang umiling at pilit na idinilat ang pagod na mga mata.
"Mahal mo ako di 'ba? Please don't leave me."
I just rolled my eyes, "Mahal kita kaya hindi kita iiwan kahit nasasaktan na ako," I whispered.
He just sighed frustratingly.
"I just want..." I cut him off.
"Just go to sleep Gabriel."
For almost five years being his best friend, I know every small detail about him. Lahat ng mga gusto at ayaw niya sa buhay. I even memorize every detail of his face. Kahit ang buong pamilya niya ay gustong-gusto na kaming dalawa ang magkatuluyan. I was also dreaming about that but it seems that he only sees me as his friend and nothing more than that.
Napapangiti na lang ako sa tuwing naaalala ko kung paano ko siya alagaan tuwing umuuwi siya ng lasing. Kung paano ko siya ipagtanggol sa pamilya ko dahil ayaw nila sa kanya. Naalala ko pa nung unang beses akong napagkamalang kabet niya dahil sa sobrang close namin. Napahalakhak ako ng mahinhin ng maalala ang mga bagay na yun.
Hindi ko alam bakit ba mahal na mahal ko ang lalaking 'to kahit na lagi na lang ako nasasaktan tuwing nagkwekwento siya sa'kin tungkol kay Mariel at kung paano niya ito ipagmalaki sa'kin.
I was looking at him sleeping peacefully when suddenly the door opens and flaunted her mother's face.
"Tita..." I walk toward her and hugs her.
"I'm so sorry sa mga nangyayare Luna," she whispered.
I just smiled at her.
"Wala 'yon Tita alam nyo naman na mahal na mahal ko yan kahit manhid," I laughed in my own words.
"You're really in love with my son, Luna."
"I am Tita..." I answered calmly.
Tinitigan niya ako ng mabuti at kitang-kita ko sa mata niya ang awa.
"How sure you are that you love Gabriel?"
I became silent for a moment and stared in Gabriel's face, "I never realize how in love I was with him until I saw myself willing to just remain friends with him so I won't have to lose him," my voice cracked because of the last words I said.
She bit her lower lip and said, "But my son doesn't deserve your love, Iha."
"I knew he doesn't love me the way I do," I sighed and continued, "I knew that he was just treating me as his friend, but I stayed anyway. Sometimes you love someone, you love them so much that you let them hurt you. I wanted him to touch me even if it made me bleed. I wanted those seconds of happiness even if it meant I spend a night of tears. I knew it wasn't right but I always put in myself that loving him is not wrong. That I was hoping maybe one day he'd fall for me too."
I saw Tita crying and wiping her tears.
"I'm sorry for the pain he caused to you Iha," her voice is laced with pain.
To my surprised, she grabbed both of my hands and carefully hold them tight.
I looked out of the window and stared at the rain that fell in synch with my tears.
"You really love my son iha."
"Yeah, I love him more than my life," I whispered under my falling tears, "but I kept pretending that I don't because I knew he didn't love the same," I added.
I sighed heavily thinking how long I will fight for him.
She looked at me, still teary-eyed.
"When I looked at him smiling and laughing my heart is filled with loved and I felt that he is my person, but I failed to see that I'm not his person."
Tita hugs me and I let myself cried on her shoulder.
For the third time, I look at Gabriel's face and smiled painfully.
"I will wait no matter how long just like how the sun waits for the moon."