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My teacher told us before that you should never let your doubts and uncertainty get the best of you because we should rather live without any regrets than continue life full of what-ifs.
Then why do I still regret something? Why do I regret falling for him? So so much that I want to start my life again.
Just like the winter fall, the cold breeze hugs me as I look at my window with a sorrowful feeling. Ha, why do I continue to fall for him without any assurance? Label? Why do I let myself be contented with vague assertiveness? Stupid, stupid! Fool!
I should have just courted him. Maybe we're together now. Maybe I'm his girl now. Every day, every fucking day, I have the time and the chance to shower him with my affection, but how come he didn't try to cross our bond? Why do I stay in being the good friend and safe zone to the man that I love?
Damn, it hurts so much watching your man's love story with your own eyes to develop, with the girl that he treasures more than me.
I accept him, love every nook and cranny of his flaws that I found interesting and lovely.
He's not even that special, not good at fighting that I can even beat the shit out of him, the odd and weird hairstyle and even rejected for twenty times in a row, but despite all of that, I love him because I know how good, kind and dependable he is.
That's why even if he's not the best at fighting, The strong and powerful ones always follow him. He shines the best when he leads those guys that even I can't even reach his league. Maybe this is for good, ha.
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"Shin... what'll you do if I suddenly disappear?"
I ask out of nowhere since our silence is killing me. It's just us on the shrine. His gang members are having a good time to god know where they are.
Looking at me oddly, he sighs and pats my head.
"As if I'll let you disappear on my sight, Elle." Averting my gaze to the grass in front of me, I smile and put my arms on my knees, hugging it just to hide my smile.
Damn, this is dangerous. Super dangerous. I can feel my heart losing its control on how to pump properly. "Really??" thumping my fingertips on my knees, I look back at him.
"Hmmn."
He hums. He stands up and offers his hand.
"Why would I let you disappear? When I already found my home."
Smiling, he pulled me to his arms, putting his free hand to my face before planting a kiss on my temple. Why am I seeing angels just looking at him?
Ha Shin...
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!! ミ●﹏☉ミ THIS IS MY FIRST STORY, HOPE Y'ALL ENJOY. PLEASE ENDURE MY GRAMMAR. ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE OHMYGOD. I JUST WANT TO WRITE. !!