**warning for mentions of death and violence**
12 years ago
The bad men are coming today. Jamie told us.
They come once a month and someone always gets taken away. Mr and Mrs Holland always tell us that it's because the bad men need to make a family. So, in order to make a family they have to take one of us.
I see the guns they wear though. I think Mrs Holland is lying.
You don't need guns to make a family.
My teacher at school tells us that family is something we all have. Even though we live in an orphanage and none of us have real mummys and daddy's, we have lots of brothers and sisters.
I have 9 brothers and sisters now.
I used to have 11 brothers and sisters but last month the bad men took a girl and a boy.
The boy was 16. His name was Scott. He was very nice to me. He used to help me with my homework.
They also took Lily, she was 16 too and always shared her sweets with us.
I don't think she wanted a new family though. She was crying when they took her. One of the bad men had to put a needle in her arm to make her stop moving.
I don't like needles. They scare me.
I miss Scott and Lily.
I once saw them kissing in Scott's bedroom. It was gross. I'd never do that, boys are dirty.
Jamie has been here longer than me. She's a big girl now. She's 10! She told me she's been here since she was 5. That's 5 whole years!
I am only 8. Jamie says they won't take me yet because I'm too small. I think that the families don't want me because I'm not brave.
Everytime they come here I cry.
Jamie doesn't though. Jamie is super brave. She looks after us all.
She even built a room into the place where she keeps her clothes so we can hide. How cool is that?
We only ever use it to play hide and seek though. She said we can but only if we don't break anything and we haven't broken anything yet I promise.
Jamie just told us the bad men will be here soon. That means we have to sit in our bedrooms on the edge of our beds so they know where we are.
Last time Jamie didn't do that and Mr Holland got very very cross with her. Jamie was so brave though. She didn't cry when Mr Holland told her to go to his room.
I didn't see her for a day after that though. Mrs Holland says she was poorly and needed sleep so we were not allowed to play hide and seek in her clothes safe room.
There was a big bang.
It scared me. Big bangs scare me. I don't like loud noises.
Another big bang. It sounded like it came from the kitchen.
I wanted to go and look but I saw Jamie running up the steps carrying Mason and Isla with Angel running behind her holding her shirt.
Mason and Isla are babies. They're only 1 year old and Angel is 4.
"Rosie, baby. Sweetheart, come with me. I need you to be a big strong brave girl okay?" She said to me. I'm Rosie. Jamie always called me Rosie baby. She has a nice voice when she says it.
"Okay Jamie. What's happening? Why is Angel crying?" I asked her.
"Angel is a little bit scared because of those loud noises. Do you think you can teach her to be brave like I showed you?"
I nodded my head really quickly. So quickly it made my head funny.
"Good girl. Hide in my safe room please. I need you and Angel to be really strong and brave now, okay?"
I nodded my head again and smiled at Jamie. She gave me a smile back. That means we're going to be okay.
Isla was being held by Angel. She had stopped crying now. I held Mason. He had fallen asleep. He looked really cute. Babies are cute.
Jamie went to get the others but there were more loud bangs and they seemed to get closer to us.
I nearly screamed when the door opened again. Elsie, Ty, Henry and George were here.
Ty and George are nearly adults now they're 12!
They looked scared.
More loud bangs.
We all cuddled in the corner trying not to cry and to keep quiet.
Jamie came in hours later and said, "It's all going to be okay. It's the bad men. They come to pick one of us. It'll be okay if they can't find us."
"Where is Mr and Mrs Holland?" Angel had tried to whisper.
"Mrs Holland has gone to heaven sweetheart. Mr Holland has fallen asleep on the sofa. He'll be okay. You'll be okay Angel baby. I promise."
We all waited for hours until we heard a noise outside the secret door. Jamie pulled something sharp out of her pocket.
It looked like the knife Mrs Holland uses to cut vegetables when we have our Sunday dinners.
"Remember to stay quiet and stay together. Everyone close your eyes" Jamie whispered.
Then the door opened and Angel nearly screamed but George stopped her.
Jamie didn't scream though.
I didn't close my eyes.
I watched her jump from where she was crouched and stab the bad man with the big knife. She stabbed the knife into his neck.
It looked really gross when all that red stuff poured out.
The bad man wasn't moving though.
A bang was heard but much softer this time. I think the bad man fell over..
Jamie crouched in again. The red stuff that came from the bad man was all over Jamie now.
She still didn't cry though.
There were more voices now though.
"We only need the girl."
"I don't need a sister dad. I've got Harry."
"I don't care. I need the girl. I need another heir."
I don't know why the bad man needs a rabbit.
The shop down the street has them.
"What the fuck?" Another voice said. That's a naughty word.
"Good, they're fighting back."
Jamie told us to close our eyes again.
I still didn't.
When the doors opened again, Jamie moved the same way she did before, swinging the knife towards the bad man with the curly hair and green eyes.
Another man with blue eyes and brown hair grabbed her arm and pulled the knife from her hands.
The man with the green eyes had red stuff falling down his cheek. Did Jamie do that?
The man with the grey hair started talking. I didn't like his voice.
"This is her. Let's keep the fighting spirit shall we honey?" He was looking into Jamie's eyes. "Harry, knock her out. I can't deal with her squirming.
The man with the green eyes punched her really hard. Not once but twice. The first time Jamie spat at him. He had growled really scarily. He said another naughty word. He said "You little bitch, pass out already."
The second punch made her sleepy. The man with the blue eyes looked sad. Did he want to do this?
He's the one that carried her out but first he came and spoke to all of us. He told us to stay quiet and don't tell anyone.
We promised not to tell anyone.
They took Jamie away from us that day.
The real bad men turned up later.
This time they chose me.
I didn't want to go. Jamie told me to be strong and brave so I was.
I only cried at night.
The bad man was called Harrison, he said I would love him one day.
He sent my family to heaven when they tried to run.
The man with the blonde hair and the blue eyes did it.
I stopped trying to run.
I still didn't cry in front of him though.
I miss Jamie.
Present Day
I'm still brave.
I'm still strong.
I still miss Jamie.
She doesn't recognise me anymore.
She doesn't know how much danger she's in.
Zayn found me.
I'm helping.
She'll be okay.
She needs to stay strong.
Just a little longer.
The man with the blue eyes doesn't have blonde hair anymore.
I don't love Harrison.
I loathe him.
I'm helping in plain sight.
No one onows a thing.