I'm sorry it took so long...
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Biancas POV
I breathed out a swirl of smoke from my chapped lips with my eyes closed. The feeling of the wet short grass prickling my bare feet as my toes buried into cold dirt was a good distraction from the hot sun.
When I open my eyes, I stared at the never ending field around me silently, the sound of singing birds and loud wind intensifying the calmness the cancer stick gave me.
Serenity.
"What a life. It's funny," a voice stated, almost sounding absent minded.
I turned towards the person a long minute after their words in curiosity, "what is?"
"When we were younger, before we met you. I always thought things would remain how they were?" The person started. "It was a stupid mindset, I should have known life isn't like that. Change is a necessity, even if it's little, it's constant."
Realizing this was probably going to be a long conversation, I walk towards the picnic mat and sit beside them.
"You're right," I reply simply, dragging from my cigarette once more.
"When we met you, so much changed. It was hard to keep up sometimes, but I wouldn't go back and change a thing."
His last statement rose my brows in surprise, "I'm sorry to say this, but are you serious you wouldn't change anything?" I ask with a pointed look.
He laughs with understanding and rolls his eyes at me, "okay well. Maybe one thing, but in all, as messed up as our lives were it all ended so much better."
I nodded silently, half agreeing with him. I glanced at everyone's things littered around our little spot. Jasmine, Ray, Asher, Shawn and Rose. "Having them back here, it's obvious there's still some grief left, it's a lot better physically, but the past traumatizes you. It's so bad that if it doesn't affect you, then I believe you're not fucking human," I mutter sadly, staring at my bare feet on the ground.
He sighed sadly from beside me, letting silence consume us once again. Nothing left to say, I guess.
I swallowed silently as memories that refused to leave played through my mind like a slideshow . They'll never leave, but I'm okay with that, it doesn't mean I wouldn't like them to though.
I see my father's cold blue eyes and then the emptiness they held when he laid lifeless on the cemetery grounds, after giving me the one thing I ever needed from him; an apology.
I would see myself floating, almost lifeless in a lake, until I'm awakened by the only man I've ever loved. Followed by the sight of three more boys, one that I would be forced to miss forever.
I see two new friends and one new enemy and then a stepbrother with a mission to break my heart. A man with a scar and terrible parenting skills. An amazing couple of a guy and girl that fell out of love for reasons I somehow still believe I'm the cause for.
My sister, the one person I spent so long viewing as a hero, who I thought I lost because of my disgrace of a father but I now wish I never found.
Then my mother, the only one who never let me down, probably because I never knew her long enough for her to, but I have not one bad thought of her, and I'll like to leave it that way. Except... there was a heavy thought that has crossed my mind for years now.
The thought that she started everything, the losses, the pain and the madness that all traveled back to a stupid love triangle. A story stretched by an immature adult man who refused to try to move on.
What a waste.
I lifted my gaze from the ground and stared at the white puffy clouds above me, "does she... does she miss me?" I ask him quietly, my voice strained as I tried to blink back the tears.
I could feel his gaze on me from my side. It took a while but he replied, telling me exactly what I wanted to hear, "she has. For a very long time now," he says.
"And everyone else? They don't blame me right?" I ask him, my voice even more vulnerable as I look down at him. A stray tear strolled down my cheek and I could see how much he wanted to wipe it away but couldn't.
"We all wish you well Bianca," he said. Smiling sadly. I sniffed, trying to hold back my tears for later, maybe when I'm alone.
Not now, not when everyone will come back soon. I thought.
I sniffed again, staring desperately at his blonde locks and eyes, knowing this would probably be the last time I'd ever see them with so much life and movement.
"You're not real Caleb," I said, holding back a sob. "I wish you were, I'm so sorry."
He smiled sadly and shifted closer to me, I knew better than to reach to him in fear he would dissolve into the air.
"No hard feelings baby," he says lightly, bringing a small smile out of me. "You'll be fine, okay?"
I nod silently, smiling through tears. "You'll come back right?"
"I will, but we won't be able to have a conversation like this anymore," he says sadly. "But I'll be there, I'll always be there for you, even thought you don't need me," he chuckles, shaking his head. "I mean, you made it through all that. Just look at you! A stranger would have never guessed."
I grin, "I guess I should start giving myself some credit."
"Um duh," he dead pans. "Enough with that sad girl shit."
"Oh, I'm way past that now. None of that anymore," I say.
"I know, and it's good to see," Caleb says softly. "Even though I never made it, I always knew you would. I always knew you were a badass, still are."
I laugh shortly at his complement. "A badass?"
"Yes bitch, get that tattooed," he jokes and cringed. "I probably shouldn't swear now that I'm dead. Don't want to tarnish any relationship with the big guy."
I chuckle lightly. "We don't want that."
"Yes we don't," Caleb says while standing. The sight brought a pout to my lips. "Well I've got to go."
I sighed and stood up, facing him. "I miss you," I say. "The real you," I say to the illusion, or the ghost... I'm not even sure anymore.
"I'm never truly gone Bianca."
In a second I watched him fade in to a small cloud of smoke before swiftly disappearing into the wind like a whisper.
My fingers reached forward but met nothing, I chose not to let tears form and took in a deep breath.
Looking back I watched the others come towards where I was to retrieve some of their things and probably food. Most of them were soaked from swimming in the lake probably.
Asher gave me a pointed look, asking if I'm okay and I brush it off with a nod.
What a life.
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Tears...
It has come to an end. Took long enough 😂
I'm quite contented with the ending, I hope you are too.
I don't know why, but Caleb just felt like the best person for this chapter.
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Thank you so much for reading my books, I appreciate you! Please stay safe wherever you are in the world.
All my love
Elizi ❤️