TW > blood.
THE SHRILL SOUND OF A CHILD SCREAMING,
is what pulls you out of your initial state of shock. for a second, you just sit there — collapsed on the floor of the ferris wheel's carriage but thankfully, with a trembling hand placed over your pulsing, beating heart, very much alive.
you find yourself swaying as you stand up, knees scraped from when you hit the metal sides of the carriage as it jolted downwards. it hurts, and you find yourself limping, but it could have been worse. when you get down to ground, you'll have it checked and treated. "for now," you mumble under your breath, using the sides of the carriage as support to walk. "there are more important things."
having confirmed you're okay, your next thought is to check on bokuto. he's leaning against the bottom of the seats, eyes closed. at first, panic takes over, but when you take his wrists into your hands, you can feel his soft and steady pulse against your finger tips. your heart still hammering, you let out a relieved breath and take a step back, standing up to find out how a quiet moment at the carnival lead to... this.
with your heart in your mouth, you step towards the edge and tentatively peek over to see what's happened. none of the colourful or flashing carnival lights are on, but there are flashes of blinding white from phone torches and some softer pastels from glow sticks. because of how high up on the wheel you are, you can't really make anything out from the general commotion below you. the wheel's lights are still down, and you're enveloped on darkness save for the soft glow the moon casts, and some illumination from the city lights nearby.
you grab your phone from your pocket and head to google. typing in some keywords about a power outage in the area — it's both daunting and comforting to find that while the power did unexpectedly go out for a few seconds, there have not been any injuries so far, and you aren't going to fall to your demise, just stay suspended until emergency services are called out to assist everyone stranded on a ride to get down.
with this new information, you let out a laugh. one that is both nervous and happy and confused. bokuto stirs, and you find yourself by his side, propped up in front of him on one knee. you rest a hand to his forehead, and then the sides of his face. "hey," you lightly slap him into consciousness. "how are you feeling, koutaro? i need you to talk to me."
the boy's eyes flutter open, golden pools of thick, sweet honey staring back at you. his face is flushed and sweaty, and you can feel his pulse racing against your fingers on the side of his wet neck. "i'm okay." he sits up straight and glances around, swallowing hard at the darkness. "what happened? it was so fast, i don't even..."
"power outage." you exhale, moving to his side and letting yourself rest against his chest. "we're going to be stuck up here until the fire fighters and ambulance arrive to help." you say. "maybe even the police, i don't know. that was fucking crazy, wasn't it?" you muse, still not able to grasp how quickly that went from a 0 to 100.
"it was." bokuto says firmly, and all of a sudden, his adrenaline has spiked. another one of his classic mood swings — the boy is no longer tired and confused, he's now alert and awake and in charge. bokuto grabs your arms and turns them over in his, "are you okay? did you get hurt when we fell? hit something? y/n, can you see how many fingers i'm holding up? do you have a headache or pain in any part of your body—?"
"i'm fine." you unconsciously pull your left leg back, thinking bokuto wouldn't notice and stop fussing. but ever the observant volleyball player — he does. the boy frowns, taking your leg onto his lap as he crouches down. there's blood on your knees, those white scrapes you get on your skin when you hit something, and a raised bruise. "it looks worse than it is." you grimace.
the boy's eyes snap up to meet yours. no longer pools of golden honey, or radiant suns which shine. his lips are pulled into a frown, eyes narrowed.
"you," he presses a lone finger to the centre of your chest, "need to start realising that you shouldn't lie to me." the boy holds your eyes, steady, "how many years have i known you, y/n?"
"seven." you respond, "you've known me for seven years, koutaro."
"right, and who am i to you?"
"you're..." the words are there, on the tip of your tongue, but they just feel wrong. the title of a best friend implies feelings of mutual respect and purely platonic love. not whatever this is. not the love you hold in your heart for the boy in front of you. but, again, you find yourself saying something completely different to what you think. "you're my best friend, kou."
your answer doesn't only feel wrong to you, but also to bokuto. but, just like you, he chooses not to admit this, as he has chosen for the last seven years. instead, bokuto says: "your best friend?" the words feel wrong, "and you still lie to me about being hurt?"
your eyes tear away from his, as he sets his hands on both sides of your face, his fingers are surprisingly warm considering how cold his face was before.
"y/n." he says, tone hard. "look at me."
so you do, with a wry smile on your glossy lips.
bokuto is unamused, "it's okay to be confused and worried and scared but you need to tell me these things." he sighs, pulling his hands away and gesturing to the cut on your knee "especially things like this, that hurt you." the boy's lips twist into a small frown. "that's what i'm here for. i'm your best friend — we're supposed to figure these things out together, okay?"
you nod, "i know, i'm sorry for not being the most honest." you admit, "i just didn't want to worry you about this when we have bigger issues, you know?" the boy visibly relaxes at your words before mirroring your small smile with one of his own.
"let me rephrase; you don't have to tell me something if it makes you uncomfortable," his gaze lowers, slowly trailing down from your eyes, to your nose, to your lips. "but these sorts of things, that hurt or bother you..." slightly parted, with how cold it is up here, your breaths come out in visible, white puffs in the dark air. "i want — no, i need to know." he finds himself leaning closer.
"that's what best friends are for, right?" he drawls, words barely above a whisper, almost lost in the cold wind and carried away. at your dumbstruck silence, he leans in closer, lifting your face up. "right?"
"right. that's what..." you trail off, before gently pulling his wrist away from your face. the words are not foreign, uttered countless times and resting on your tongue. two syllables — that's all it is. "that's what best friends are for, koutaro. honesty, care and respect."
but how honest are you being with me?
bokuto's eyes have taken on that strange glint you last saw under the pink glow of the city lights, standing in front of a 7/11 and sipping coffee. something so beautiful, yet so unfamiliar and unreadable.
the thought strikes you finally — looking into him, not at. the carriage is suddenly very, very warm and your heart begins to hammer inside of your chest, stomach tumbling and turning like you're sat on a speeding roller coaster. a weird feeling bubbles inside of you, something rough around the edges and messy and raw and real.
he's going to kiss me.
and maybe he would have, maybe that would have been the kiss you needed to confirm your confusing feelings. maybe you would melt into each other, stuck in a faulty ferris wheel high above the ground and far from the world. maybe, just maybe — he would have kissed you, better than anyone else ever had.
but you never got the chance to feel his lips agains yours, never got to get lost in his touch, because suddenly — bokuto koutaro bursts into tears.
/ notes
man i just love when ur about to be kissed and the other person suddenly starts crying 🦄🌸💖not me y'all stay safe tho💗🍌💍xoxo riya ❤️🔥
also writing chapters like this make me cringe but they seem to do well w readerzzz 😞😞😕 so... as justin bieber said hey i'm working working working hard... to please you 😱❤️❤️❤️😵💫😒🙏🏽