Azriel landed on the front lawn of the River house, releasing Gwyn's and Feyre's hands before launching into the sky once again.
"Az wait-" Rhysand's pleading call was swallowed up by the wind and the silence in his mind. Such silence after the roaring of his memories. Half-formed thoughts bounced around his head, but Az couldn't think past the quiet. The rage and betrayal burning in his heart.
He eventually decided that flying wasn't fast enough and winnowed to a point above the House of Wind. His shadows confirmed what he'd guessed. Ellius was pacing just inside the dining room doors. Az landed heavily on the balcony and stormed in. The male's eyes went wide with fear as the door swung around to strike the stone wall, a loud crack resounding through the room. Blue eyes, his mind whispered. Blue, not green. The anger told him that it didn't matter.
"You have a lot of nerve coming back here," he said, letting venom creep into his voice.
"Azriel, please let me expla-"
"NO! You do not get to explain!" Az roared. He did not register the dramatic shift in Ellius's scent. The true fear that coated the air. Did not realise that his shadows were creeping out, filling the room ominously. He was too overcome with... with... whatever he was feeling.
"You do not get to explain! We welcomed you here. I- we let you in. Rhys took your advice!"
"I know-"
"And you turned on us! The first opportunity you got, you turned on us! You hurt Gwyn-"
"Is she alright?" A different kind of alarm crossed the male's face.
"She'll live, though I don't know why you'd care. You are the one that tried to stab her!"
"Azriel! Please just-"
"You betrayed us!" Azriel could barely think. "We trusted you. I trusted you!" The last words cracked, and Azriel realised it was his heart that was hurting. The only other person like him, the first person that might've come close to understanding had-
"Listen! I didn't have a choice!" Ellius yelled, hurt and something else flaring on his face. Az blinked, taken aback by the verbal retaliation. The male before him ploughed on, holding his gaze, his own shadows swirling and lashing at the air.
"I didn't have a choice. I... he was controlling me. I couldn't..." Ellius's breathing grew heavier and heavier, as if he was in pain.
"What the hell happened?" Azriel asked, voice going deadly quiet. He knew he wasn't being reasonable. He knew he should listen, should give the male a chance, but Ellius's betrayal... he'd lied. He'd lied and that lie could have gotten them all killed.
"I can't say it," Ellius hissed through clenched teeth. Azriel's anger flared anew.
"Well, you'd better bloody well say something or-"
"No, Az. I physically cannot say it. he won't let me."
"Who's he?" He refused to swallow any more lies.
"Tam- aaaah!" Ellius's head snapped back violently, as if he'd been struck, and the male's knees gave out.
"Shit, Ellius," Anger momentarily forgotten, Azriel dropped to the floor, "what's wrong? What's going on?" This was just like the living room at the River house. Headache. My shadows can inflict pain on me from within. Ellius's words from a week ago resurfaced. Sometimes they're too strong for me. And just now, Tam...
"Tamlin!" Azriel exclaimed. Of course! They'd first met in the Spring court. "What has the bastard done? Ellius, what did he do to you?"
The Shadowsinger just groaned, hands clawing at his head.
"Ellius! Say something!" He was clearly in agony, and just as he had the last time, Azriel felt helpless.
"He... controls my... shadows," Ellius's voice was strained, but he pushed on. "I'm... I'm c-cursed. Spellbook." The last words were apparently too much. The male bared his teeth, the sound of a scream lodging in his throat.
"Ellius! Look at me!" Azriel had to do something. Despite what the male had done, regardless of the reasons, no one deserved to suffer like this. "Look. At. Me." he repeated. Ellius did.
"Good. Now breathe. In..." he inhaled deeply, "and out... again. In... and out." The male clutched at his head again. "Hey! I said look at me. Keep your eyes on me." The pain-glazed, ice-blue orbs locked onto his, the desperate stare so different to the evil, green gaze of the forest. "Keep breathing Ellius. In... and out... in... and out. Remember, the pain does not own you. The pain does not control you." Az wanted to clasp the male's shoulders, to lend him some strength, draw him away from the pain, but he couldn't. He just kept their gazes locked as Ellius's muscles began to relax. Just as Azriel was about to speak again, he felt a powerful presence land on the balcony behind him. He'd been so focussed on the other Shadowsinger that his shadows had not warned him of anyone's arrival. Az shot into a defensive position, but...
"Thank the cauldron Rhys, I need your power to hold back Ellius's shadows." His brother stalked into the room, concern on his face. The request seemed to throw Rhys off guard, and Az realised why he was here. Finally realised, too, how he must've looked, storming off after Ellius, full of rage. He turned around again, guilt flooding him as he noted the wary look still present in the ice-blue eyes.
"Alright, Az. But why?" Rhys moved to stand between them, glancing back and forth. Ellius said nothing.
"Because, from what he's just said, Ellius is being controlled through his shadows," Az explained, making his voice as emotionless as possible. Irrational fool. He knew better than to let his feelings take over. Well, he usually did. Something about Ellius, this whole situation, had his self-made rules and boundaries crumbling. "And he deserves a chance to explain himself," Az added. Rhys nodded in understanding.
"Why don't we all go sit down," he suggested, gesturing toward the table and chairs. "From what I gathered in the forest, this is going to be a rather lengthy tale."
Once the three of them were seated, Az and Ellius on opposite sides of the table and Rhysand at the head between them, his brother finally sent tendrils of his magic outwards. They wrapped gently around Ellius, forming a wall between the male's body and his shadows. He sighed, relief washing over him in a visible wave.
"Thank you," he breathed, "I haven't felt silence like this In a very, very long time."
"It's alright. We will have to work out a long-term solution for you though," Rhys said, glancing once at Az, as if he might object. He just remained emotionless, still guilty that he'd lashed out. "Why don't you start at the beginning," Rhys suggested. Ellius swallowed, nodding once.
"I told Azriel as much as I was able to a few days ago. Some details are not... they aren't relevant to the current issue. The important thing is that once the King of Hybern took over ownership of me, and my Shadowsinger abilities manifested, he started looking for ways to use me as a weapon. He'd heard stories of Illyrians like me, and knew how much of an... asset I could be to him. He started reading. Researching. There were books-"
"Books?" Az interrupted, unable to help himself. "I've spent most of my life searching for information about what I am, and you're telling me there are books? Books on Shadowsingers?" He was numb. Over five-hundred years. Five-hundred years of searching and wondering and fighting with himself to discover more about his power... Ellius nodded mutely. Holding his gaze. The sympathy there had Az biting his tongue and nodding for the male to continue.
"So, the king continued researching over years and years, and he found... spells. Well, I guess curses is more fitting. Ancient sorcerers used them to control their Shadowsingers. Use them like puppets. Their shadows weren't theirs once the spells were uttered. The king didn't share much with me at the time, but I've learnt since that there are three incantations. One to separate the shadows from the body, one to disconnect them from the Shadowsinger's mind, and one..." Ellius looked straight at Azriel, "one to separate them from the soul." A chill ran down his spine. "I think you can fathom what that means," Ellius continued, still holding his stare, blue eyes pleading with him. Imploring him to understand.
"Well, I can't," Rhysand interjected, "please explain."
"It means-"
"It means we lose a part of ourselves," Azriel said softly. Ellius nodded again. "It means we are no longer whole. These," he gestured to his own shadows, "are as much a part of us as a leg or a wing. Possibly more so, as they are our second eyes and ears, our sense of the world."
"Well, yours at least," Ellius muttered bitterly.
"So, the king used the three spells on you?" Rhys asked softly. Azriel's heart clenched.
"No," Ellius said quickly, to his great relief. "No, the king didn't use any of the spells. Not even after I lost my physical form. There was something missing. One part of the curse that he couldn't figure out. That was why he let Amarantha bring me to Prythian. As well as being her shadow blade, I was also her little... experiment. Her project."
"You were... under the mountain?" Rhys went a bit pale. "I didn't see you there."
"She didn't want me to be seen. She kept me locked away for the first few years, and then she figured out the curse. She used the first spell on me, taking control of my shadows away from my body, and I had to do whatever she wanted."
"Did you... did you see... me?" Rhys asked haltingly. Az reached out and squeezed his brother's knee under the table in silent solidarity. He knew what his brother had faced.
"Yes, high lord," Ellius said, "and I knew what you were doing. I knew you were protecting a secret, although what that was remained a mystery until after we escaped." Az was quietly grateful for the male's words. For the angle he'd taken.
"But... if you knew, why wouldn't you tell her?" Ellius looked the high lord dead in the face.
"Because I thought there was no hope down there, until I realised you were still fighting her. Despite what she was doing to you, to all of us, you fought to protect something, and I would do everything I could to protect it with you. I couldn't let the hope die out, for my sake, and yours, and when I found out that your secret was this city... I knew, for the first time in as long as I could remember, that I'd made the right choice."
Silver lined Rhysand's eyes as he nodded at the male.
"Then you have my deepest gratitude, Ellius," he said hoarsely, "because this place, my family... they are everything to me." He looked at Az, who felt as if his emotions were tearing each other apart.
"She used the spell on you?" The question came out as a whisper, but Ellius caught it.
"She did. She figured out that the final ingredient in the spell... Az, it's memory. To control a Shadowsinger, you need to understand the cause of their shadows."
***Next chapter is a continuation of the same conversation. Should be out same day as this one. Happy reading :)***