Josh Kiszka
I woke from my sleep, hearing a faint scream in the distance. I waited for a second to make sure it wasn't a dream, and it only took about five more seconds for another scream to erupt, but louder. It was only the four of us and Lorelei and Anastasia on this floor with our managers on the floor below. It had to be one of them.
I quickly threw the thick blanket off my body and jogged across the room, flinging the door open and was blinded by the yellow light coming from the hallway. After my eyes adjusted, I checked my watch, which read three o'clock in the morning. I started to walk to where I thought the screams were coming from when Anastasia emerged from her room, carrying not one, but two room keys.
"What's wrong? Did something happen?" I asked her, accidentally startling her from behind.
"Jesus Christ, you scared me." She breathed, hand over her heart like she was having a heart attack.
"Sorry, didn't mean to." I smiled, peering around her as I heard a quieter cry come from the room directly next to Anastasia's. "Is that Lorelei?" I asked, concerned, knowing it had to be her. Luckily, the other guys' rooms are past mine, so they probably can't hear it.
"Yeah, it is." She sighed, running a hand through her slightly tangled hair. "I'll handle it, just go back to sleep. I'm sorry." Anastasia said with a sympathetic smile, turning to walk a few yards until she reached Lorelei's door.
"No reason to be." I reassured, knowing it wasn't her fault. She swiped the key and entered Lorelei's room, and I decided to sit down on the floor and wait until she comes back out to make sure she's okay. After a few minutes, the loud shrieking turned into cries, and then to silence, which I'm assuming is a good thing.
About ten minutes had passed before I saw Anastasia again, slowly shutting the door to Lorelei's room. I stood slowly, ready to go back to sleep.
"Is she okay? Does this happen often?" I asked in a whisper.
"Why do you think I have a spare key?" She asked rhetorically. My face dropped slightly in realization, and I immediately felt terrible for Lorelei. I know what nightmares are like and they aren't pleasant. The fact they happen often enough for Anastasia to know to ask for a spare key saddens me.
"Well, she's fine, you'll get used to it." She sighed after I didn't answer her rhetorical question. "Oh - and, please don't say anything to her in the morning."
"I won't say anything - I promise." I smiled again, more comfortingly this time. I wouldn't want to do or say anything to embarrass anyone on purpose. I'm just glad she's okay.
"Thank you," She nodded slightly. "I'll see you in the morning."
And with that, she went back in her room and closed the door quietly behind her. Once back in my room, I flopped down onto my bed and covered back up, facing the window overlooking the city. Tomorrow is a new day, and will hopefully bring some healing to everyone.
--
"Honestly, I'm kind of scared of her. During the virtual meetings she just sat there and took notes, and never said a word." Jake shrugged, glancing over at Lorelei who had barely touched her food. The hood from her sweatshirt had been yanked over her head and she was slumped in her seat. Her pink cheeks indicated she was cold, but her gloomy demeanor stated she was unhappy.
We all decided to eat lunch in my suite, even though Lorelei and Sam had just woken up ten minutes ago.
"She's not scary, or mean." Sam rolled his eyes. "We sat on the roof last night and she was really nice, but you guys know how hard it is to handle fame at such a young age, especially since the three of us are younger than you guys." He finished, referring to himself, Danny, and Lorelei. Sam will turn twenty one in three days, Danny turned twenty one in December, and Lorelei will be twenty one in two months - June first.
"Then why does she always look like she hates everything? And, she hasn't voluntarily said one word to us yet." Jake argued, still half whispering. "That seems a little rude to me."
"Maybe because she just woke up ten minutes ago and hadn't slept the night before they left? This is their first international tour so i'm sure they're nervous." I defended, not mentioning the fact that she had a nightmare that disrupted her sleep as well. I know they went on tour with 5sos, but just opened for half of the U.S. tour, not internationally or even entirely nationally.
"Who's nervous?" Anastasia asked, walking up behind us, and i'm sure she had heard at least part of this conversation. Damn it.
"Oh, we were just talking about how this is your guys' first international tour and how it must be nerve wracking." Danny spoke before the rest of us could, probably saving the day. He was always more level headed than any of us.
"Oh, well yeah, but we're more excited than anything." She smiled a little forcefully and I knew she had heard the conversation at that point. "I think we'll head back to our rooms... we'll see you before the show."
She walked away, going straight over to Lorelei to grab her hand. Anastasia sent us a glare as she pulled Lorelei from her spot at the island and to the door. Lorelei looked back at us, confused, but Anastasia drug her out the door and shut it behind her.
"I feel terrible." I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands.
"Don't, I was the one who said those distasteful things. I just don't really understand her is all." Jake concluded, ripping off part of a donut and shoving it in his mouth.
"She's been here all of 12 hours - you don't need to understand her to be kind." I rolled my eyes at my twin, wondering how we became so different personality wise.
"Well, I hope sound check goes well then since we ran off half of our show." Sam sighed, turning to walk away from the rest of us at the island.
Knowing our luck, it won't go so well.
--
Lorelei
"You have to be more sociable. They think you hate them!" Anastasia complained, plugging in her flat iron to do my hair for me. I was never good at doing literally anything to anyone's hair, but I'm fantastic at makeup, so we always take turns doing each others hair and makeup.
"I don't hate them, and I don't have to be sociable for them to know that. Just because I didn't get on my knees and praise them at the ass crack of dawn doesn't mean I don't like them. I adore them, actually, because their music is so great." I rolled my eyes, annoyed that Jake thinks I'm rude. I'm not rude... I'm introverted and honest.
When Anastasia told me about the conversation she overheard earlier, I couldn't help but to feel... hurt? I tried to not let it bother me, but it did. I already wanted to go home - I was trying to hold back tears as she told me what they had said.
"Well we have to talk to them at some point, so put on your big girl dick and have some manners." She ordered, dragging a strand of my hair through the iron. She was standing right in front of me, which means her boobs were at eye level. I couldn't help but stare, one, because they're literally shoved in my face, and two, because they are awesome boobs.
"Stop staring at my fucking tits."
"I literally cannot help it, they're in my face." I smirked, knowing she was wasn't actually mad. "Besides, I've seen more than just your breasts, babe." I chuckled, knowing she hates it when I call her that.
Anastasia and I had a... fling... when we first started working together. We would fuck here and there just because we didn't want to be involved with men, and still don't, because of specific trauma we share. It was more of a team bonding experience, really.
"Do you really want to piss me off right now? I could literally burn your hair off." She laughed, and I did too. We've always had the weirdest sense of humor.
After Anastasia finished my hair, I started on my makeup while she did her own hair, curling it instead of straightening it. After foundation and concealer, I finished off my face with blush, bronzer, and highlighter before starting on my eyes. I decided on a light brown shadow with wolf liner, and some false lashes to top it off. I did the same to Anastasia, giving her pink shadow because it's her favorite color and because it'll match her outfit.
"You girls ready?" We heard a knock, then entered Keagan with coffee for both of us.
"You're a life saver, thank you." I smiled, getting up to grab the cups from him. "We just have to get dressed." I leaned into him for a hug, which is unusual for me, and I internally cringed, knowing he'll realize something's wrong.
"Why are you hugging me?" He pulled away, peering around me to look at Anastasia. "Why is she hugging me?"
"The guys think she's rude." She said simply, tearing her pink leather dress from the hanger along with her long, pink blazer to go with it. I wish she wouldn't have said anything at all - I don't want Keagan to say anything.
"What? What happened?"
"I'm not sure, I mean I've only talked to Sam so maybe they think I'm ignoring them? I had just woken up earlier and I didn't realize I was supposed to join their conversation." I explained, trying to emphasize on the fact that I wasn't trying to be rude.
"It's okay." He smiled, pulling me back in a little. "If you guys hurry, we can just about finish sound check before they do theirs, and you won't have to talk to them until right before or during the show."
"That would be lovely, thanks." Anastasia took her coffee from my hand as I chugged mine, needing the energy. Usually I'd snort a line of coke but I didn't happen to bring any with me to this fine state of Michigan.
"Okay, get dressed. I'll be waiting for you out there." And he left us to finish getting ready.
I decided on the same dress Anastasia picked out, but in black instead of pink with fishnets underneath. I knew I would freeze to death if I didn't wear something else with it, so I yanked a black, long sleeve shirt to wear underneath. Anastasia and I chose the same exact black, classic doc martens.
I made sure to smear some eyeliner under my eyes, just slightly, to look a little less put together. After checking ourselves in the mirror one more time, we did our handshake that we made up the night of our very first gig and walked out of the dressing room. The walk to the stage was short and we didn't say a word during - just the sound of our shoes echoing through the hallway.
We made it backstage where there were plenty of people scrambling to get the stage ready, which already had all of ours and Greta Van Fleet's equipment displayed and ready to go. Almost immediately, people swarmed to put in our in-ear monitors, which I had customized to be able to hear my own voice and Anastasia's guitar. They gave us a once over and Keagan walked us on stage.
The arena was huge. We have played bigger, but this one was no doubt gigantic. We assumed our usual positions, Anastasia on stage right and I on stage left. A microphone stand stood right in front of each of us and I grabbed the microphone from mine, which had thick, black tape on it, while Anastasia's had pink, of course.
After testing the sound, we started singing acoustic versions of the songs we were going to sing during the show, but only the chorus so we don't waste our energy. After singing the five songs we chose, Anastasia played around on her guitar for a bit, adjusting anything she needed to before we decided to perform the chorus of Black Smoke Rising, knowing it would be one of the songs we'd perform with Greta Van Fleet later, which I was extremely excited for, to be completely honest. Although they may not like me, I look up to them, and I'm honored to be able to play with them.
"They worked day and night to be able to play these songs perfectly." I heard faintly from beside me, and I turned my head to see Josh and Jake just arriving back stage, talking with Keagan, of course. Keagan smiled, and I rolled my eyes. Of course he would tell them something like that to embarrass us.
Anastasia and I quickly ran through the chorus, her taking the lead on this one with me harmonizing here and there. I didn't want to play my own guitar yet - I wanted to completely blow them away during The Weight of Dreams. None of them know I play guitar, and I want to see the look on their faces when I start to outplay Jake.
Just kidding, I wouldn't do that. But, i'm still gonna be fucking awesome. I always knew how to play, but since Anastasia likes to play better and I like to sing better, we had just stuck with that, but we've been playing around more with this new album, which we're planning to release within the next year.
I heard clapping from the other side of the stage and there was Sam with a grin, in I'm guessing was excitement from hearing someone else play their music on stage.
"That was awesome!" He came out onto the stage to stand in the middle of Anastasia and I, preparing for their own soundcheck.
"Thanks Sam." I gratefully smiled, making sure the others saw it too so they don't think I'm rude. Anastasia and I walked off stage left where Josh and Keagan were still standing while Jake grabbed his guitar from his own manager.
As I walked past Josh, I felt a light grip on my wrist and was pulled backward slightly. I turned to look and there he was, his lips about an inch from my ear.
"You look absolutely stunning." A warm gust of air graze my hear and his raspy voice rippled and landed in my memory for what I hope would be forever. My breath hitched, my eyes widened, and I could feel my heart rate picking up speed.
He continued walking out on stage without letting me reply, and I stood still for a solid three more seconds before snapping back to reality and jogged to catch up with Anastasia and Keagan, who were making their way to the lounge backstage to prepare ourselves for our part of the show.
--
Our last song of the show was always a fan favorite. The way Anastasia and I connected with each other was undeniably special, and might I say, hot.
I set my microphone in the stand and marched my way over to where Anastasia stood, standing in front of her microphone now as we sang the chorus together as she played her guitar. We stood so close that our cheeks were pressed together, lips centimeters from touching as I bounced my knees to the rhythm she created.
I crouched down on my knees to be eye level to her guitar as the chorus ended, taking out my earpiece to listen closely to the sound of her guitar and the crowd as they erupted in screams. Anastasia stepped closer to me, the guitar inches away from my face as I stuck my tongue out for show, and to tease Anastasia by being flirty. She hated when I did that.
But not really.
I stood back up and skipped back over to my microphone to finish out the song, thanking the crowd for being so accepting and wonderful to us, even though it technically was our show just as much as it was Greta Van Fleet's. We would be back on at the end of Greta Van Fleet's solo performance for three songs together - Black Smoke Rising, Watching Over, and The Weight of Dreams, where I would play my guitar for the first time in public as Lorelei Prest.
Anastasia and I ran off stage, desperate for water but high off of adrenaline. Performing was our thing - I absolutely loved it. The reaction from the crowd fueled our energy, which in turn gave a great show.
Although it was very cold, I was sweaty and gross, which I hated. Keagan praised us as he handed us each a bottle of water. We thanked him, downing it as fast as we could and recycling the bottles after.
I spotted Josh from across backstage and my stomach twisted, remembering the soft, raspy words he whispered earlier. He wasn't paying attention to anything other than the people attaching wires to him and fixing his hair, focused and ready to put on an amazing show - which they never fail to do.
After they finished double checking him to make sure he was completely ready, they walked over to Danny and Jake to do the exact same thing. Should I go over to him and say something? Like give him a "good luck?" or should I avoid him because of what he said earlier?
Grow some balls damn it!
Sigh.
I balled up my fists to help muster up the courage needed to walk over, and I trudged over to where he stood while my adrenaline was still helping me out. If it was any other time when I didn't have all of this energy, I would've walked right past him without saying a word.
"Lorelei, hey! You guys were fantastic, seriously!" Josh applauded, his chestnut eyes glimmering and his small amount of makeup emphasizing his features. He is a beautiful man, really. He seemed a little nervous, which is normal for performers before shows.
"Thanks, Josh." I smiled, looking up slightly to meet his gaze. He was only about three inches taller than me, which means I don't have to break my neck to look up every time I speak to him. "You look great! You'll be awesome." I tried to be enthusiastic, but really it sounded more like sarcasm. Yikes.
"Thanks," He chuckled, giving himself a once over. "See you out there." He winked.
This man just winked at me.
Jesus Christ.
He waltzed out, immediately dominating the stage and the crowd with his presence. The familiar tune of Safari Song echoed throughout the dimly lit stadium - one of my favorites.
I stood on the side of the stage in awe at Josh, who definitely belonged on stage. He bounced around, belting lyrics as he did so. His curls rested on his forehead, his black and red floral jumpsuit accentuating the gold glitter smeared on his face. It was intoxicating, watching him as he grinned and danced across the stage. Sam looked over at us from stage right and I gave him a thumbs up, which he smiled in response.
Anastasia and I hummed along to each song they played as we practiced on our own guitars for the last three songs of the night, which would be performed soon. They were on their last song - stardust chords - which was also one of my favorites. Keagan took my guitar from me as I reminded him to give back to me specifically during Josh's last belt of The Weight of Dreams before Jake's solo. Anastasia and I would let him have his moment during the middle of it, but play before and after as well. He said this was okay when he answered a hypothetical question in one of our last meetings. Not so hypothetical anymore, I guess.
Our cue to come back on stage rang through, and we walked back on as soon as the melody of Black Smoke Rising started. Anastasia, with her teal guitar wrapped around her shoulder, walked over to stand next to Jake as Josh welcomed me to stand next to him since we'd be singing together. I gave him a smile and he began singing the first verse of the number.
I leaned in, joining in at the chorus, my hands shaky and body weak, but the nervousness quickly subsided when I heard how beautiful our voices sounded together. I turned to him in shock at the sound of my harmonies with his melody, and he turned to me as well, our eyes locking for a moment. He smiled when they did, and so did I, forgetting there was a large crowd of people in front of us.
His gaze lingered a little longer than mine, and throughout the rest of the song and the next, I could feel him stealing looks here and there as we sang together.
See, the last three months were filled with busy schedules and pandemic stuff, so we actually never got to practice once together. I'm so glad that our voices pair well together after just winging it a few minutes ago.
After what felt like forever, The Weight of Dreams started to ring from Jake's guitar. I looked over at Keagan, who was holding my own guitar backstage. I gave him a slight nod to let him know I was still going to go for it.
Singing with Josh felt ineluctable. His energy radiated throughout the entire arena, his performances were a fervent display of just how intense and passionate he was. He was vulnerable, unguarded, performing with his was a spiritual experience that I would surely never forget.
I leaned in with Josh to sing along to the melody for the second time, although I couldn't express the rasp that he could with his voice, which I was jealous of. During the last of his vocalizations, I walked off stage, earning confused looks from everyone besides Anastasia, who was smirking. Keagan quickly handed me my iridescent guitar, already plugged into the amp, as I placed my lucky pick between my lips, thanking him before walking back out. I looked directly at Jake, who was smiling, obviously okay with what was about to happen.
As Josh belted the last note, all three of us - Anastasia, Jake, and I - began playing. I was a little rusty, of course, having not played my guitar in front of a crowd in three years, but the nerves quickly subsided. Josh grabbed his silly tambourine, a look of shock still on his face. It was Sam's turn to give me a thumbs up as he sat patiently at his bench.
The crowd was equally as shocked, but absolutely loved it, which is great because I was very sure they were going to be pissed off that I stole some of Jake's thunder. But, this was a one-time thing in terms of surprises and every time I play during a concert will be planned after this.
I forgot how calming it was, really, and I zoned out for the remainder of the song. Anastasia and I stopped halfway through to let Jake have the best part, but all three of us finished out together. Anastasia and I took our earpieces out and listened to the crowd, which is something we did every show, although not great for the ears.
We all thanked the crowd one last time before walking off stage, breathing heavy and eyes tired.
"You're amazing! If you perform like that every show, you guys will make history!" Keagan practically squealed, wrapping his gigantic arms around Anastasia and I both.
"Thanks." I awkwardly chuckled, extremely grateful for him and his kind words. As he let go, I spotted Jake walking in our direction.
"I'm gonna go change, meet me there when you're ready." Anastasia noticed and smiled, her and Keagan walking away to start wrapping things up backstage and in our dressing rooms. I started feeling a little nervous, knowing he was going to apologize.
"Jake, what's up?"
"I just wanted to apologize... I haven't been very welcoming, and I know what I said was out of line." He started, his hand finding the back of his neck. I could tell he was genuinely sorry. "I shouldn't have assumed you were rude without even introducing myself."
"It's okay, really. I can come off as... unpleasant... sometimes, and I'm sorry that it seemed I was avoiding you or being rude." I apologized as well. My demeanor always comes off as hostile when really I have a hard time around new people. I never know quite how to act or present myself.
"You guys were incredible. I had no idea you played guitar! I see many jam sessions with us three in the near future." He chuckled, trying to me more lighthearted.
"That would be awesome." I smiled, not containing my excitement that Jake Kiszka wants to practice with me. He pulled me into an abrupt side hug, and it was evident that the Kiszka brothers and Danny were not shy with affection, nor ashamed of it, which I didn't mind. I aspire to be the same.
"We're gonna be great friends."
--
10/7/21