//Darling's outfit Inspo in this chapter//
"What the higgildy hell are you doing in my bed?!"
The southern yelling could be heard from across the lodge, Morgan jumping out of bed and running across the building as soon as he heard Darling's voice.
"What's going on?!" He bashed open the door without a second thought, spotting Darling yelling at a half asleep Luke who seemed unbothered by her as he sprawled out in the bed.
"You're louder than I thought you'd be at night" Luke teased with a yawn.
"I'm serious, what are you doing in my god damn bed?!" She seemed more than shaken up from waking up next to someone she didn't fall asleep next to and choosing her anger to let it out.
"Dawson?! Is everything okay?" Hotch ran into the room after Morgan.
She did a dramatic gesture at Luke in her bed, "does this look okay?!"
"Agent Alvez, what are you doing in Dawson's bed?" Hotch asked, still puzzled over what was happening and half asleep.
"Our room was doubled up, we have the same key and she was already asleep when I came in so I couldn't ask for the blanket or pillow for the floor" Luke explained, sitting up and only just now seeing how panicked Darling seemed despite her trying to hide it.
"Derek said you would be okay with it" Luke shrugged in defence.
"Why would you say that?" Darling snapped her head to Morgan before shaking her head and turning back to Luke when she couldn't take seeing Morgan's perfectly chiselled and toned exposed upper half without blushing at the fact he just in his pyjama bottoms.
"And why would you take his word without checking with me if I was okay with it?"
"I didn't think it was a big deal-" Luke shrugged.
"So you just thought what? That a woman waking up with a strange man next to her in the room she went to bed alone in wouldn't scare the living day lights out of her? God I hate men" she shook her head and stormed out of the room in her pyjamas to the front door where she grabbed her coat.
"Where are you going Dawson?" Hotch asked, knowing now how irrationally Darling acted when she was upset despite her generally calm and 'chilled' demeanour, knowing that a few anger issues underlined her personality.
"I'm going to sleep outside" she said with certainty like it was a normal thing to do, walking out into the harsh, cold, windy night.
"You're what?" Luke laughed behind Hotch and Morgan who followed her out, watching her place her coat on the floor when they got outside onto the damp grass.
"Yep, it'll be just like camping" she said with determination.
"You hate camping Darl" Morgan pointed out.
"Well I hate waking up with random men in my bed more" she replied with a sarcastic smile at him, plopping herself down onto the coat, "night all."
"Works for me" Luke shrugged, walking back inside and hoping it would make Darling react and follow him in to argue- but she didn't.
She just turned onto her side and pretended to sleep- not really thinking through her plan.
Morgan was right, she did hate camping.
She hated the bugs, the cold and then heat in the morning, the feeling of the earth beneath her- it made her feel like she was being buried alive, like a corpse waiting for the worms to eat her body, waiting to decompose.
That feeling first came when she was 10 and her dad locked her out of the house for accidentally burning his dinner and she had to sleep on the grass all night when he got drunk.
It came again when she was 16 and she had hid under the house's porch from him when he threatened to kill her if she didn't go into his room, spending the rest of the night led in the mud and grass in the cold of the woods nearby.
And then every other week for years she would find herself sleeping a spot in that woods, right near the stream next to a giant tree when her dad would get back from long trucking trips and drink more than usual, it felt safer for her to sleep in a woods where anyone could find her compared to her bedroom where he could find her.
She hated it out there.
She couldn't see the stars like people talked about when sleeping outside through the low hanging branches, she could just feel the cold dirt tangling in her hair, the bugs she hated crawling on her as she wiggled until the sun rose.
And then one day she went there before her birthday to hide from her dad who would get worse during the holidays and the spot was gone, replaced with a tree house that she didn't realise until he showed her the next day that was built by Morgan, unknowingly building it on that spot where she spent so many nights crying and hiding alone with the dirt waiting for it to grow over and bury her.
But then she wasn't alone there anymore, she wasn't on the ground.
She could see stars now that the treehouse was higher off the ground, she couldn't feel the cold ground anymore, she didn't feel like she was hiding when she was there.
She felt free.
She felt safe.
She felt like she was home.
But not her 'home', because her 'home' wasn't safe, it wasn't free.
Kids in her class would talk about going home, to their families, to their beds with such comfort to their face.
She never had that.
Not until that treehouse; until Morgan.
She couldn't think about that now as she tried to get comfortable on the ground outside the lodge in the freezing winds, Morgan telling Hotch to go back to bed and that he would sort it out as he rolled his eyes and crouched down to the floor next to Darling.
"What are you doing?"
"Going to bed" she didn't turn to look at him.
"You're being ridiculous."
She ignored him and just wrapped her arms around herself for warmth.
"Just go back to bed, I'll tell Luke he can bunk with Reid and I'll-"
"I don't need your help" she dismissed.
"You're so god damn stubborn" he mumbled to himself, the cold and frustration getting to him as much as the lack of sleep.
"Go to bed then, I didn't ask you to come out here" she dismissed again.
"You'll freeze out here."
"I'm not the one without a shirt, if anything your nipples will be the ones to freeze to death" she pointed out the fact that he was just in his pyjama bottoms, a fact that the flutters in her stomach wouldn't let her forget.
"Stop joking around and just go back to bed" Morgan rolled his eyes.
"StOp jOkInG aRoNnD aNd JuSt Go BaCk To BeD" she repeated, mocking in a high pitched whiney voice, still not looking at him "that's what you sound like."
"You're really planning on spending the whole night out here?" Morgan folded his arms and stood up with a scoff.
"Yep."
"Just go to bed-"
"Don't tell me what to do!" She suddenly snapped at him, turning and propping herself up on her elbow to look up at him, "just go away- I don't need your help, I don't need you Derek!"
There was a moment of silence where they both took in what she said, both knowing she didn't mean it but Morgan still being hit with a pain from her words, feeling the urge to argue back or make her talk about what happened with them but turning and walking away in a strop instead.
"Fine, I'll just stop trying to help you then."
"Fine with me" Darling replied, turning and lying back down the other way so he didn't see her tears specking her eyes from him walking away, something he never did- not since he left for college after their argument that never quite got resolved until years later.
But he would never stop trying to help her, they both knew that- which was why it hurt Darling so much to hear him say it, to see him walk away into the lodge.
A mixture of emotions hit her, clutching onto her anger to keep her warm as she tried to close her teary eyes before she heard the front door open again and fast footsteps come towards her punctuated with mumbled frustrated swear words.
"You're going to be the fucking death of me" Morgan shook his head, swiftly crouching down and picking Darling up before she had time to even look over at him.
"Whha- Put me down!" She commanded whilst he shifted her to be over his shoulder, thumping his bare toned back and wiggling her legs as he walked to her room , "Derek Morgan you put me down right now or I swear to god-"
"Enough! Just go to god damn bed!" Morgan threw her down on the empty bed and half yelled at her.
Darling stared at him in shock, she had never seen him like this before.
Frustration, sure. Exhaustion, most definitely, but never truly angry like this.
But it wasn't anger as she had known it, the anger that made her want to cry, the anger her father had, the anger Jacob had.
It was a different kind, a kind she almost enjoyed seeing him have, a kind that came from care, a kind to disguise his feelings for her.
There was a shallowness to his breath as he yelled at her, a rise and fall to his chest that reminded her of how breathless they both were after that kiss.
There was a kind of dynamic shift of seeing him stood above her at the end of the bed that made her skin tingle; him taking control, him showing more of his 'macho' side that she always teased him about because he was so soft and caring with her compared to his strong demeanour.
She loved that softness to him; how kind and funny he was, how playful he could be and how much he made her laugh until her stomach hurt instead of making her cry until her eyes were sore like most men she had been around.
But now she saw how angry he could be more than she had seen before, more than she had seen in their brief arguments; how heated he could get, how commanding and strong he was- and she confusingly liked how it made her want to give into every urge to pull him onto her.
But she had a strong moral code, she would never let a man tell her what to do anymore.
"Don't tell me to go to bed, I'm not a child- and don't pick me up without-" Darling tried to argue but Morgan just rolled his eyes, hooking his arms around the front of her waist and moving her up the bed, pulling the covers down and going to throw them over her but she pushed him away.
"Stop being so childish-" Morgan argued.
"Stop telling me what to do-"
"Well someone has to! Stop pushing people away! Why can't you just accept that people care about you enough to want to know and help you?! You can push me away all you want but I will never stop being there for your stupid stubborn ass. You don't need me? Fine, but I need you so get your act together so that I know you're okay, do you understand?!" He blurted out, standing back and looking down at her, his chest rising and falling, the urge to blurt out an apology for yelling being strong but the expression on her face of almost anticipation being stronger- almost pulling him onto her.
"I... I said do you understand?" He swallowed that urge and she nodded slowly.
"Good" he turned and walk to the door, letting the guilt of yelling eat him as he left- not realising Darling more than enjoyed seeing that side of him.
"Good morning sunshine" Luke teased Darling as she walked into the kitchen the next morning, flipping him off as she made her coffee and he eyed her outfit up and down with a chuckle.
Her orange slightly oversized high waisted trousers were paired with a white vintage tee tucked in underneath a green, orange and yellow knit oversized jumper that complimented her yellow converse.
"Someone's dressed very brightly today."
"And someone's dressed like a depressed dad today again" she couldn't help mocking back, grabbing a slice of toast that Reid had made for everyone- thanking him as she went to leave.
"Where are you off to kiddo?" Rossi asked, sipping his coffee.
"Some of us have jobs to do David" she joked, "I just have a call to make in town and Hotch asked me to pick up some papers from the station of potential plans the higher ups want us to look at for this case."
"Why do you need to make the call in the town instead of here?" Morgan asked as he walked into the room, trying not to smile from her outfit.
She looked at him for a moment, both of them trying to decide if things were going to be awkward or not- Darling deciding that it didn't matter and forcing herself to stay angry at him despite them both knowing she wasn't, it was just easier to be angry than try to admit what she really felt.
"Because the signal is bad up here" she replied simply.
"It's better than it is in town since it's higher up" Reid pointed out, not realising that Darling was lying.
"Well I need to go into town anyway so-" Darling shrugged and went to leave, Morgan stepping in front of her in the doorway and tilting his head knowingly at her.
"Who are you calling?"
"Oh just my friend called 'none of your business'" she gave a mocking smile, ducking under his arm and walking out of the kitchen towards the door.
"Grab a coat" Morgan called out but she just carried on walking out the door.
Darling got to town an hour later, not expecting it to take so long- and certainly not expect nearly as many hills or to get lost so much in the cold.
She didn't have time to make her call and had to basically run to the station to pick up the reports Hotch asked her to- pausing when she walked in and saw Morgan already there by the computer.
"What are you doing here?"
"Going through the reports for Hotch" he replied simply, not turning around to look at her.
"Hotch asked me to do that."
"Well you decided that walking all the way here was a smart idea and he needed them sent over to him half an hour ago so I scanned them to my phone and sent them off to him since email doesn't work at the lodge."
"Fine" Darling hid how frustrating she found it that he had done her job, "so why are you still here?"
"Because you still haven't told me who you were really talking to on the phone yesterday" he turned in his wheelie chair to look at her knowingly.
"I told you-"
"No, you lied to me- there's a difference" he stood up, walking over and grabbing the papers to look through the proposed plans by the higher ups who had been on top of Hotch's work plans more now- wanting things done as quickly as possible and not caring of the consequences that they didn't ever think about.
"It's literally none of your business who I talk to on the phone" she walked over, taking the files from him in a huff and reading them.
Morgan went to speak but just shook his head, not wanting to argue with her again, not wanting to bring up who he thought it was.
"The bruise on my wrist isn't from Jacob if that's what you're thinking" Darling seemed to know exactly what he was thinking as she continued skim reading the files.
"Then who is it from?"
"Where did Luke end up sleeping last night?" She changed the subject quickly and Morgan went to press back to the original subject before reminding himself he couldn't keep pushing her to talk about things if she didn't want to, no matter how much he wanted to help her.
"My room with Reid."
"Where did you sleep?"
"The sofa" he answered and she looked up at him momentarily, about to say 'you should have just slept in my bed' but biting her tongue, knowing things weren't that casual with them anymore, there was a tension now, there was a shift in the scales, a shift she needed her anger to ignore.
"Why did you tell him he could just sneak into the bed anyway?" She asked with accusation in her voice.
"I thought given your opinions on him you'd be fine with that."
"My what?"
"Well you two clearly have a good repour, you're always joking with him and given what you said about his appearance I thought you'd be fine with it" Morgan let a hint of his jealousy slip out.
"I've never said anything about his appearance? What do you mean-" Darling went to continue to respond with confusion but a section of the report caught her attention.
"Am I illiterate or is that my name?" She showed the file to Morgan who looked over her at it, tilting his head with confusion when he saw her name and took the file from her.
"Miss Dawson proved to be a valuable assets on the last case in catching and taking down the two criminals which is why, based on your victim profile for this case, our proposed plan is-" Morgan read outloud the section, pausing at the end of the sentence and feeling a burning rage taking over from what he read.
"What the hell?"
"What is it?" Darling tried to look at the report but Morgan snatched it away, storming out of the building towards his car.
"Woah, wait what- Derek? What is it?" Darling ran after him but he had already driven off by the time she got there.
"Derek! You've got to be kidding me?" She sighed, shaking her head and beginning the long walk back up to the lodge, of which was full of lots of yelling when she arrived an hour later.
"Aw no Derek, I couldn't possibly let you drive me up the mountain on the safe road in the nice warm car- that would be far too much to ask of someone who just abandoned me-" Darling spoke sarcastically as she entered the front door breathlessly from the hike, pausing when she saw Morgan yelling at Hotch.
"-I don't care if it's just a proposal, that thought should have never entered their heads!"
"She is our lesion Derek, it's her job, I understand that you-"
"No, you don't understand because if you did you would be just as pissed off as me Hotch!"
"What's going on?" Darling looked around at the team all sat awkwardly, a divide of sorts between the room who had heard the rest of that part of the report proposal as Morgan read it out in rage to Hotch.
"Maybe we should let Darling decide if it's a good idea or not" Garcia suggested, trying to keep the peace but Morgan snapped his head to her, not realising Darling was there.
"Darling decided that getting herself drugged every day for two weeks was a better plan than letting Reid get pricked a couple of times, do you really think her self judgement is great?!"
The silence that swept the room as the eyes who noticed Darling was there went to her made Morgan turn and notice her, a panic immediately hitting him.
"Oh please don't let me interrupt y'all talking about me" she mocked, walking over and taking the report from him before he could protest and reading the rest of the sentence he cut off earlier.
'-Our proposed plan is that Miss Dawson act as an undercover bait for the unsub, building the profile around the victim to draw out the suspect. We would like you to dress her like the victims were dressed and make her do a press release live to the local stations so that he will see and contact the stations for her...'
"Hmm" is all Darling said after she read it, less of a reaction than anyone was thinking for someone prone to flipping out, simply walking over and grabbing a red pen from the jar on the desk.
"Darling-" Hotch tried to ask if she was okay but she held her finger up for him to be silent as she wrote and circled parts of the proposal before handing it to him.
"Send that back to your supervisors and tell them of the mistakes they made; referring to me as bait instead of a trap like they would refer to male agents, telling you to dress me instead of me dressing myself and using language like 'make her'- just tell them that this language is what will get them a law suit from someone one day if they're not careful, or at the very least a reputation for treating their female staff worse which isn't great considering all the women agents they pass up for promotions for male agents with less experience" she gave a polite smile, grabbing her phone and going to go to her room but looking over her shoulder first, "oh and I'll do their proposed plan, I think it could work."
"What?!" Morgan, Reid and Emily said in shock- Morgan mostly outraged.
"You can't be serious Darl-"
"I don't want to hear anything from you" she hushed him and continued talking to Hotch, "if you also think that plan will work then sure, it's just a press release- but, I have one condition-"
She walked over and looked up at him with a serious expression before smiling into her usual jokey demeanour, "-I'm not wearing that ugly corpse lipstick."