"Okay," I said in a whisper.
I glanced over my shoulder and saw Matt with his feet kicked up on the coffee table looking at his phone and my dad still asleep, and I knew he would sleep until someone woke him, so I breathed easier.
Weston stood and motioned for me to follow him, and I did, across the deck and down the stairs to the patio.
We used to have bonfires out here, and I could see embers smoldering from the last one.
I stood next to the fire and warmed my hands as Weston snapped some sticks into kindling and placed them on the coals.
We were both quiet for a time as he stoked the fire and continued to add fuel until there was a healthy little flame licking up the firewood.
He stepped back then and sat down on the stone bench that was behind me.
"Sit, Ave," he said softly.
I did so, leaving plenty of space between us.
"So," he began," Before I say anything stupid, can you tell me if you have a boyfriend or not?"
I whipped my head around to look at him.
"No...no I don't...not really."
"Really?" He said skeptically. "Then...who was...that guy you were with? If you don't mind me asking. I know it's none of my business, but...what I'm about to say depends on what you tell me Ave," he said.
I was silent for a moment or two, trying to repress my quickening heartbeat.
"That man is a good friend of mine, and he likes me but...I won't date him."
"Okay. Sorry I know it's none of my business."
"You're fine," I shook my head.
"So...what do you want to talk about...?" I encouraged, sensing his nervousness. Any other time it would have amused me, the thought of someone with the looks and poise of someone like Weston being nervous in front of me, but at the moment I just wanting to get this over with, because the longer I wondered what he was going to say the more apprehensive I got.
"I want to know...why I never heard from you. Tell me honestly."
I replied evenly, watching the flames play light across his face, " Because...I never heard from you. Not a single word."
He nodded slowly, gaze fixed on the fire.
"So your brother never told you about me then, did he?"
"No."
"I don't know why I never thought about that, but I shouldn't have been such an idiot." He took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair.
"I just figured...you forgot about me Wes. Why couldn't you have just...followed me on Facebook or something?"
"I don't use Facebook, but I looked you up on my brothers once, and there were too many people with the same name, and none of the pictures looked like you."
"Oh...but I looked you up on Facebook before, right after you left..."
"Why didn't you follow me then?" He asked.
" well, first of all, I saw that girl Ashley had tagged you in like 50 photos of y'all at your cabin, y'all looked perfectly cozy together," I started off with.
"That's just how she is, kind of over the top affectionate with everyone she knows. It was a mutual breakup so we have more of a sibling relationship now. I completely understand if that's how it looked though. Fucking Ashley," he growled out in frustration, and then lifted his eyes to mine.
"Come here."
I looked at the small space between us, wondering where specifically he wanted me to come. I slid a little closer but he reached for me and scooped me up in his arms, pulling me half into his lap and crushing me against his chest in a breath stopping hug.
"Ughhh," he groaned, voice muffled in my hair. "I missed you, you still smell the same way."
He pulled back enough to situate me more comfortably on his lap, and I could tell he didn't want me to get off. The ice around my heart was rapidly melting.
"I missed you too...until I made myself forget about you. Or try to anyway...also I didn't want to...to seem...I don't know...I told myself that if you actually...liked me then you would try to find me, so when you never did, I just assumed...you never really cared."
He shook his head.
"It was my old account anyway, and it's disabled, that's why I say I don't have Facebook even if it's still there. I knew it would hurt your feelings, but if you look at it from my point of view, I was giving you a chance, a chance to grow up a little, even if you didn't think you needed it, and I thought," he ran his hand through his hair again, "I thought you would understand when you got a little older, even appreciate the fact that I did that to you, because I never would have felt right Avery, no matter how much I liked you, I could never have lived with myself knowing I'd taken you and all your innocence and never given you the chance to experience...more."
I nodded, my heart softening even more.
"I'm sorry I had to cut you off like that...it was only a year before I came to visit the first time though...just to check on you, but you weren't around. I wanted you to forget about me, even hate me a little bit, because if you just had a crush you would just get over it, right? And you'd be better off. But if you still felt the same way after a couple years..."
"I...I understand now Wes. And I do appreciate it. I was so mad at you for the longest time, until I just forced myself to forget about you, which I never really did but I convinced myself I had."
He was quiet for a long time, stroking a hand up and down my leg.
"So did you ever go out with anybody? What have you even been doing these past two years?" He smiled a little. " I'm guessing Matt said something to you about me coming to see you, because you didn't seem surprised."
"Well..." I didn't want him to get mad at his brother on my account.
"He did."
"Yeah."
"Well even if I told him not to, I'm glad he did...'cause I don't think you would have come over here tonight if he hadn't."
"You're right," I conceded.
"When I tell you my heart dropped when I saw you Ave, sitting there looking like you were twenty five and I was something you never wanted to lay eyes on again, sitting there on that guy's lap, ughhh, Ave," he moaned, dropping his head to my shoulder.
"Why the hell were you sitting on his lap anyway? You just said he wasn't your boyfriend." He suddenly looked a little jealous.
I explained about Mike Tyler, and let my hand travel from his shoulders up to his neck, and soothingly massage his tense muscles.
"And perhaps I looked cool and detached, but deep down, that's not what I was thinking. On the surface, I was still bitter at you, but it was only because deep down,I was still...still..."
Weston gave me an intense look.
"Still what?"
I remained quiet, and the little part of me that had come out of my shell quickly returned to it.
Weston sat up straight and pulled my chin til I looked at him squarely, and brought the other hand up to tangle in my hair at the back of my neck.
"Still what Ave?" He demanded softly.
"Still...in love with you," I whispered.
A slow grin spread across his handsome face.
"I love you too. I'm still in love with you too baby," he said, and lowered his mouth to mine, pressing gently at first, like asking permission. I gave it by tangling my fingers in his hair and opening my mouth to receive him, and he entered, kissing warm and slow, savoring the action.
"Fuck." He began kissing more desperately, and I realized he was gripping my hips tightly, so that his fingers dug and bruised me. I groaned, enjoying even the pain, and kissed him back as fiercely. I grew dizzy with the heady rush of emotions cording through my body-Weston loved me, Weston was kissing me, I didn't hate Weston, Weston was an amazing kisser-
"Im sorry, I'm sorry," he pulled back hastily.
"Your dad's right over there, I'll stop. For now."
He licked his lips and glanced over his his shoulder, grinning mischievously.
"You're the only one who makes me feel like this when you kiss me," I said quietly.
"Oh yeah? So you've kissed other people now? You never told me if you got a boyfriend or not," he gently teased.
"No...I never really dated anyone, but I kissed someone else and it didn't...do the same thing to me," I confessed.
"Mmm I see...who was it?" Weston still had his arm around my waist and was running his fingers through my hair methodically, whatever hairstyle I had now gone due to his exploration.
"It was Dego. But after the first time I never let him kiss me again. It didn't feel right."
"Mmm I see. Well you did a pretty damn good job of looking like you were in love with that guy."
I blushed.
"I wanted you to think that, I wanted to make you jealous," I admitted.
"It worked," he ground out, eyes flashing over me possessively.