That night, Eleanor ended up not being able to sleep at all. The conversation she had with Larissa echoed in her mind too loudly for her to ignore. And the memories of the last few days were on an endless replay inside her head. Even though they had agreed about keeping some distance between them, that did not seem to be working for neither. They were both ignoring it, so it was best for them to end their pact before it was too late to go back without someone getting hurt.
Staring at nothing as she laid in bed, she spent all night thinking about how she should tell Sebastian that she could not uphold their pact anymore. She could not risk falling in love with him. She could not risk the career she was working so hard for. Risking it all for her heart was not worth it, as that too would be at risk of being broken into a thousand shards. Eleanor could not risk everything she was building for love.
The morning came, and she still had to leave her house to go to work, despite having spent the night staring at the blank walls without getting some shuteye.
Taking a deep breath, she entered the office and walked towards her desk. She had dark circles under her eyes; was feeling woozy from the lack of sleep; was not at her best, and it was not a good day. But she had to this, she had to end things as soon as possible.
Eleanor sat down on her chair, started to work on her tasks for the day, and anxiously waited for Sebastian's arrival. It is now or never. She had gathered all her courage to end their agreement, and she wasn't going to back down now. Her career and the path that she had carefully planned out were on the line. You have to this. You can't risk it all for one man. Even if that man is Sebastian.
The workday was long, and it went by too slowly, but he never showed up. Meetings kept him away from the company building all day, and Eleanor lost the chance to call it all off.
But, as the workday was coming to an end, Sebastian called.
Sebastian spent the entire day wishing that he were in his office. If he were there, he could occasionally step off into the corridor and see what Eleanor was doing. He also spent all day trying to figure out what had come over him last night.
A relationship was not something that he wanted. Even though he did not completely oppose to the idea of one, it wasn't in his plans for his life, at least, not for the time being. Stabilizing his position as CEO of Crain was his major priority at the moment. And he also had a rule of not dating anyone from work, not even for a one-night stand. Sebastian's life at the company was already complicated enough as it is, so he liked to keep things separate.
What is so different about her to make me reconsider my ideology and my plans? He wondered. They were only supposed to be pretending, but somehow, he was falling deep into his own trap, and he didn't have a contingency plan. He didn't know how to climb out of the hole he was getting himself into.
'Hi. Are you still at work?' he asked as soon as Eleanor answered the phone.
Her heart raced from only listening to his voice.
'Yes. But I'll be leaving soon, just wrapping up some things.' Her voice didn't seem to want to come out, but she still managed to say it.
'Again, I'm sorry for last night.'
'Don't worry about it.'
'I hope that you don't hate me yet,' he said. And even though he tried to make it seem like a joke, she could hear the pain and worry in his voice.
'I don't hate you,' she assured him, 'yet.' She giggled.
She thought she would answer the phone. That she would be the first one to talk and use the small piece of courage she had left to end their pact. But as soon as she heard his voice, her courage vanished.
'Saturday. Ten a.m. Are you free?'
'Yes. Why?'
'We still need to buy you a dress.'
'I can do that on my own.'
'I want to go with you, but I won't have much free time during the week, so I don't think that we can meet before that.'
'So, where do you want to meet on Saturday?'
'I can pick you up at your place.'
'No, there's no need for that. I can meet you there.'
'Well, then I'll text you the address. Now I got to go. Just one more thing. I'll be on time. This time it's not just a promise.'
Now or never. She said to herself.
'Sebastian. Wait,' she said with her heart pounding against her ribcage, and all her thoughts got blurry and mixed up.
This was her last shot. As magical as everything seemed in her head when she fantasized about how things could be if everything turned out the right way, she had to come back to the real world and realize that there was no positive outcome from this charade. It had to end, one way or the other. They were both deceiving themselves. They were both confused because of a lie.
'Actually, I don't think we should meet again,' she said with her voice cracking and a sore throat from holding in her tears, 'outside of work.'
This is going to be a lot harder than I thought. Eleanor realized while holding in tears.
'What do you mean?' he asked, and she could hear the fear in his voice.
'I don't think any of this is a good idea anymore.'
'Eleanor, wait!'
'I'm really sorry. And obviously I am not expecting anything from you after being the one to end this.'
'Eleanor—'