Four days before Liza died
The door widened a bit, and before Liza stood a man she assumed to be Fin. She pretended not to see the wave of shock washing over him.
"Not your usual type of customer?" Liza asked, keeping a smile on her face.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Fin almost closed the door but Liza stuck her left foot forwards. She winced as the door came in contact with the side of her shoe. The movies made that move seem far too easy.
"If you're going to close the door on me just because I'm not a teenager, I will go to cops and give them proof about what you're doing." She said angrily.
Fin wanted it to be a bluff but he was scared of the intimidating look in her eyes. He ushered her in and closed the door behind him.
Liza sucked in a deep breath and looked around the apartment. Leather couch, light beige carpet under her feet, and a tidy table — the place looked normal enough. She practiced the words in her head one more time and sat down.
"How old are you?"
Fin frowned. "What's that got to do with anything?'
"I've got to get back home soon, so please answer me, Fin Everard, how old are you? 21? 22?"
"23." He sighed, sitting opposite her.
Liza looked disgusted. "And you sell drugs to teenagers? How does it feel to be a sick fuck?"
Fin's face fell. He straightened up and cleared his throat.
"Don't talk about things you don't know. And I know a lecture—"
"That's not why I came here."
"—oh, let me finish. I know that." He laughed. "If you truly cared about the kids, you would have been to the cops by now. You want the drugs too, possibly for free, which is why you're trying to blackmail me."
"I need a lot from you Fin, not just drugs." Liza was unsure of what way she should approach the question. She ripped off the band-aid by just saying it. "Who's making you sell these new pills?"
Fin struggled to reply. "I'm sorry, w-what?"
"You know there's quite a lot of people who think hallucinogens should be legal?" Liza felt the teacher in her coming out, but she didn't care. "Some are good for medicinal purposes, I say they should be legal. And some patients can't access painkillers, I say that should be taken care of too. But a drug without reason is dangerous."
"You're stating the obvious." Fin stayed alert. He didn't take the lady to be a cop, but he still monitored what he said.
"You know what's scarier than drugs?"
"My mother."
"Unsupervised drugs, Fin. Unlabelled drugs. Drugs that aren't even properly studied." Her voice became louder. "On the war of drugs, I don't know which side I'm on, but all I know is that you shouldn't be selling new, experimental drugs to teenagers who'll take them and die."
Fin felt himself shrinking. "What do you want?"
"Information, for a start." She replied, annoyed. "I'm a part-time teacher and I've heard lots of talk about a new type of drug. One of my sources says you're selling them."
"Sources, huh." Fin's laugh was strained. "Again, you don't know what you're talking about."
"I know a lot more than you think I do, Mr. Everard," Liza said calmly. "I know you're being pressured to sell them."
Fin met her eyes quickly, his mind going blank.
"Don't look like I confessed to a murder." She scoffed. "The same student who told me you sold him the drugs also told me you were reluctant to give them to him. As if you had second thoughts. I believe his exact words were — you better buy as much as you can because he doesn't look tough enough to be in the job for too long."
"So that's why you didn't go to the cops."
"If I help throw you in jail but there's still someone else selling these drugs, what's the point?" Liza said smugly. "So I'll ask you again. What is this new drug and who's making you sell them?"
Fin suddenly felt like he was being suffocated by her glance. There was something about her that he didn't like at all. But someone was offering him a way out. He'd be an idiot not to take it.
"It's a synthetic drug." He started, slowly. "I'm not involved with the manufacturing part of the process, but I do know it's something no one's sold before. Or made before. Quite possibly, it's legal."
"What?"
"Most of the synthetic drugs are legal because people don't know about them. Just imagine LSD, yeah? What if someone made a new form of pills that work like LSD but doesn't have its chemical composition?"
"Then it becomes legal?" Liza asked, surprised.
"As long as they're not tested by the government, yes. New drugs are being added to the banned list every single day, but the fact remains that we can always just make another type of drug. We just simply need the resources. And money."
Liza folded her hands. "How did you get the resources?"
"I don't know, because being asked to be a drug dealer was not in my five-year plan." He snapped. He knew he shouldn't say what he was going to say but he went on, "There's a street gang called Shadows. They're making me sell the pills because they don't wanna get their hands dirty. I'm their easily exposable middleman."
"Street gang? Here?" Liza was alarmed. "Why didn't you just go to the cops then?"
"I needed the money. For something important. I couldn't say no." He gulped. "And I know that makes me as bad as them, but I didn't know it would get this bad."
"How bad is this bad?" Liza asked tentatively.
"Your source didn't tell you the main part." Fin whispered. "Shadows wanted a new business method. Something to get all the teens in Larnswich hooked on the new drugs."
"More quantity?"
"More accessibility."
Liza frowned.
"The pills are free." He said sadly.
Her mouth fell open. "What do you mean?"
"Not forever." Fin explained. "For each customer, I give the pills free two or three times, then they're willing to pay for it."
"Holy shit, you're making them addicted." She had a look of pain on her face that Fin was sure would haunt him forever.
He thought he would never be caught, that he didn't need to worry about hell or heaven as long the Shadows had his back. But now there she was — as if the angel on his right shoulder suddenly decided to transform to a human and give him a lecture on how he's everything he hoped he would never be.
"I wanted to back out! But they threatened to hand me over to the cops. It was either rotting in jail or doing this."
"Then you should have rotten in the jail, Jesus Christ." Liza stood up. "They can't go to the cops. They literally asked you to sell the pills."
"Why do you think no one's heard of them before? They're discreet. If I go up in court and talk about shadows, they'll think I'm pretending to be crazy for the insanity plea!"
Liza covered her face with her hands. "Okay, okay, we can go through this. Do you know the name of the synthetic drug you're selling?"
"Some kind of pills which have the same effects as benzodiazepines." He answered, sighing.
"Are they tested? Lethal? Where are they getting it from?"
"I can't ask them these questions, they'll think I'm a fucking cop. All I do know is that I have 20 bottles of the damn pills left and they need three thousand dollars by the end of the week."
Liza put her hands on her hip. "Throw them out."
"Excuse me?"
"Throw out the drugs and we'll come up with the money somehow."
"There is no we. If they know I told someone else about them, I'm pretty sure you'll be dead as much as me."
"Fine then, throw them out and find the money yourself!" Liza yelled.
"The whole point of me taking this job was because I didn't have any goddamn money!"
Liza gulped silently. "Okay, so when you do give them the money, how long before the next batch arrives?"
"Three days, depending on the supply."
"Great, we can do something by then!"
"Did you always shit rainbows or are you just pretending to be optimistic?"
Liza looked as if he smacked her in the face. "If I'm not, then only people like you will walk the earth, and that's a depressing thought."
Fin's eyes softened. They were essentially strangers but she was willing to give him a chance to do the right thing. And wasn't that all he wanted?
"Look," Liza sat down again, surprised at herself for what she was about to say. "I used to be an alcoholic. Still am, I think. No one except my parents knew. I'm better now. Loads better."
Why are you telling me this? Fin wanted to ask, but he knew that'd be too rude. Some part of him also wanted her to go on.
"The difference between alcohol and drugs is that the latter's much more lethal when you're dependent on them," she continued, "I thank my lucky stars that I didn't have access to them back in high school because I know I'd have a shorter lifespan if that happened. I know I wouldn't be sitting here if I was addicted to drugs instead."
Fin nodded curtly. "I get your point, there's supply now. You don't want this to end in people dying. I fucked up, I'm sorry."
He didn't have to apologize to her, but the guilt was eating him away. He certainly couldn't call up each of his customers and say how lethal the pills could be and how they shouldn't take them. But he needed to apologize to someone. He needed some reassurance that he wasn't so bad as his mind was saying right then.
"Fin, it's more than that." She was slowly going back to being calm again, but the words felt sharper than before. "I think drugs are always going to find their way to schools. But the ones you're selling are dangerous. We have no idea what it is or how much you can take before you OD. We need to stop the distribution now."
"My hands are tied." Fin whispered, almost breaking down.
"Mine are not." She shrugged, trying to play it off as cool. "I want to buy the pills. All of them."
Fin shook his head, way too fast. "I can't let you do that."
"I'll find the money. And I promise I'll get rid of the drugs."
"I don't need your help! This will all go wrong, I know it." Fin started panicking. "Even if you get the money, what about next week when a new batch arrives? Unless you're shitting money — no, unless you're shitting money and shitting 24 hours a day — you can't pull it off again."
"We'll figure it out when that comes. We'll have a plan. Maybe we'll go to the cops and tell them everything." Liza said, sighing. He hated the we again, but didn't say it out loud. He bit back his words and wondered what she was getting out of all of this.
Liza stood up. "Now, get the pills ready, I'll be back in an hour with the money."
Fin followed her outside, and when she turned to say goodbye, he was leaning against the door with a wounded expression.
"You said it yourself that you were an alcoholic. You can't get into drugs, it will ruin you." He said, his face too serious.
"I can take care of myself. I won't use the drugs, I promise." Liza smiled, touched that he seemed to care.
"What's your name?" He asked softly.
"Liza Severin. You can call me Liz." She shook his hands and was off.
As she left, Fin felt the guilt creeping back again. He didn't like how she looked like the kind of person to drown while helping someone else.
Even though he wasn't surprised, Fin still broke down crying when he read the newspaper a few days later.
As everyone in the town soon came to know, Liza Severin died of overdose. And Fin had no one to blame but himself.
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