1976
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Fourth Year
"Lily!" I shouted seeing her marching ahead of me in the direction of the castle.
She stopped and turned to wait for me to catch up. The wind was picking up and her bright red hair seemed alive combined with the furious expression on her face. If I were on the receiving end of that rage I'd be terrified.
"I can't believe him, Prim," she said when I'd finally reached her, "To think all the times I defended him and tried to think the best of him. I mean you were smart enough to leave when you did. I was stupid for sticking by him as long as I did."
I still felt the waves of anger and sadness from Severus' words. Even more so seeing how badly he'd hurt Lily. At this point, he'd done it countless times to me but to put sweet Lily through this? The girl he supposedly loved? I was disgusted.
"You're not stupid, you're just a good friend. No one would hold that against you," I said firmly.
Lily shook her head, "He's just as bad as that scum he calls friends. I should've known. We should've known. As soon as he started running with that crowd he was lost to us."
All I could do was nod. Lily had reached a revelation I had already come to terms with. She needed to vent and process just as I had. Instead of multiple tears like I shed, she let out a couple of curses and continued her rant.
"I'm never speaking to him again. I won't forgive him after this, I won't. I've given him so many chances, Prim! After everything he goes and calls that disgusting word. Us, the people who've helped him and showed him kindness when no one else would've," Lily said.
My sister had a forgiving nature and constantly tried to see the best in people: Severus had obviously taken advantage of that kindness. The patience and love I once had for Severus dried up when I realized this. It seemed Lily was experiencing the same.
"I know," was all I could say, "Let's go up the dorms, okay. I think we both need some time after this."
Lily agreed and we silently made our way. It felt like we were mourning something and in a way we were. Severus' time in our lives had reached its end and there was no going back.
It'd been an exhausting day for everyone and in particular Lily. My heart went out to her as I saw her getting ready for bed. She had the stress of her exams, on top of painfully losing her best friend. My own hurt grew as I thought of my sister and the turmoil she must've been going through. She was so incredibly strong and it shined through in moments like these. While I crumbled and cried she steeled her shoulders and put her war face on.
We were about to head to our respective dorms when Mary came over to us,"Snape's outside and he said he wanted to talk to you."
Lily crossed her arms and scoffed, "I'm not going out there."
"Well, he's refusing to leave, and apparently he's willing to sleep out there to wait for you," Mary warned.
I fought the urge to roll my eyes and instead left the decision to Lily. If she wanted we could go give him a piece of our mind or ignore him and head to bed. The second option was tempting, maybe Filch would find him and give him detention for being out past curfew.
The red-haired girl contemplated it for a minute, "Let's go, Prim. The faster we get this over with, the sooner we're done with him. This time for good."
"We only came because Mary said you were threatening to sleep out here," Lily said in lieu of a greeting.
I stood by her side sizing up Severus who looked a wreck. His eyes were pitch black and there was a crazed glint there. His hair was its usual shiny greasy mop but it seemed he'd combed his hands through it several times.
He ceased the pacing he'd been doing and replied, "I would have. I would do anything to have you speak to me. I never meant to call you Mudbloods. It just-"
Lily cut him off, "Slipped out?"
"Prim, tell her I didn't mean it! Please, you have to believe me," he pleaded.
"It's too late," Lily said coldly, " I've made excuses for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. Hell, Prim saw you for who you really were and cut you out of her life. I should've gone the same route. It would've saved me a lot of trouble."
Severus tried to counter, "You don't know what you're talking about. Prim and I had a falling out and we ended our friendship on mutual terms."
"No, Lily's right. You're not someone I want to call a friend. You're mean and selfish and only look out for yourself. I wonder if it's what you've always been like and I was too blind to see it or if it's your new little Slytherin friends," I interjected.
I had no more pity left for Severus and was entirely done defending him. It was shocking he still thought I'd stand up for him.
"Yeah, your precious little Death Eater friends," Lily spat and Severus remained quiet, "You see, you don't even deny it! You can't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"
The bomb had been dropped. The thing we'd wanted to say for so long but didn't dare. It was a heavy accusation but one Severus didn't reject. It was an admission of guilt if I'd ever seen one.
"I can't pretend anymore. This friendship has long been over. You've chosen your way, we've chosen ours," said Lily.
Severus persisted, "No, listen, please! I didn't mean-"
"-to call us Mudbloods? But you call everyone of our birth Mudbloods, Severus. Why would we be any different right?"
With this, we walked away from a sputtering Severus who was scrambling to say anything.
The portrait swung close with an air of finality and we walked into the Common Room. The fireplace was still ablaze and of course, Sirius was sitting on the sofa across from it.
It appeared he'd been waiting and this was confirmed when he said, "Prim. Think I could have a word?"
Lily glanced at me and I gave her a placating smile, "It's okay, Lil. I'll see you tomorrow."
She threw a glare at Sirius before squeezing my shoulder and heading to the dorms.
I walked over to the boy, "So?"
"Can you sit? It feels weird to have you hovering over me," I perched on the cushion and waited for him to continue with my arms crossed, "Are we okay? You seemed pretty pissed with me earlier."
"What do you think, Sirius?"
He tried a smile, "No?"
I didn't find it the least bit amusing, "Not everything's a joke. Like I said you seriously need to grow up."
"You have to admit Severus getting turned upside down was funny! His underwear-"
"That's your problem, Sirius. You think hurting people's funny. Do you have no regard for human life? I know you think Severus deserve's it but do you have to torture him? Or anyone else for that matter? You go too far sometimes. It's like you don't know when to stop and that's scary. Like the Whomping Willow. Severus shouldn't have been sneaking around trying to get Remus into trouble but you nearly got him killed! And you see nothing wrong with that!"
Sirius scoffed, "You said it yourself. He shouldn't have been sneaking around. Us messing with him is the least of what he deserves."
I took a deep breath and tried once again to get through to him. Lowering my tone I said, "You promised you'd try. For me. I don't like seeing you like that. You get this awful look on your face, and I can't even recognize you."
"I did try. I just get so riled up when I see him or his slimeball friends."
"Why?" I pressed.
Sirius looked at me questioningly, "Why?" I nodded. "They remind me of my family and I know they're just like them. Snivellus calling you a Mudblood today just proves it. His own bloody friend. Merlin, if I could I'd have thrown him into the lake. I wish I would have."
He hardly mentioned his family and I needed to know more to understand him. It was like a big chunk of insight that remained blank, "Can you tell me about your family?"
"They're vile humans for one thing. They're You-Know-Who supporters and all my life they tried pushing that thinking on me. When they saw they couldn't, I was labeled the family's disappointment. There wasn't a day while living in that house my mother didn't throw a dictionary's worth of insults at me. The best day of my life must've been when I hightailed it out of there," he replied, eyes far away as he thought.
"Hestia told me a little but God, Sirius, I'm sorry. You must have been miserable."
Sirius laughed mirthlessly, "Oh, I was. One time I woke up to my cousin, Bella, trying to light my bed on fire. Then my first year at Hogwarts, she ran to tell my mother I'd been sorted into Gryffindor. How I'd made friends with Half-Bloods and Muggle-Borns. I don't think I'd gotten a Howler as long or as loud as the one I received after that."
"I remember her. She graduated a couple of years ago. I heard she carved 'Blood Traitor' into Enid McNair's trunk because she'd lent a Gryffindor a pencil during class," I recalled with a chill.
"Sounds tame for her," Sirius commented, "So you see I can't help but hate twits like Snivellus with their arrogance and sick ideals. I grew up with people like that and it's disgusting. I'd never think less of someone because of what they were born as."
Now, it made more sense. I was thankful Sirius had shared as much as he had with me. I knew his family was a sensitive subject for him but he'd opened up to me.
"I think that's pretty admirable of you. Lots of people would take the easy way and blindly follow what their family wants them to. Not you though. You're different," I replied.
Sirius smiled, "You know, I'll miss these talks of ours. I can't believe this term's already over. It feels like it was just yesterday you were telling me to piss off anytime I came near you."
"I can start again if you'd like," I offered, "In all seriousness, you've grown a lot. I'm proud to call you my friend. Don't get cocky though; before I take it back."
It was too late, "Nope! You said it yourself. I'm your best mate in the entire world and you'd be lost without me. I agree."
I laughed and shoved him but I still couldn't get the stupid grin off his face. As he continued to tease me I found myself already missing the easy camaraderie of our friendship. It'd be a long summer.