Emme.
I woke up in Jeremy's arms and notice it was already past 12 am. So I slowly got up and find my bag I need to go home before my sister freak out or she was already freaking out.
I took a taxi and after a while arrive home very late but I wasnt surprise when the house was still alive, the lights were still on and bet that my sister is waiting patiently inside. I qoute with the patiently, she is so heartwarming sometimes you know. I took a deep breath and started to open the door, and then as expected, she was waiting for me in her pj's while sitting and reading an english novel. She just look up when she notice me so I give her a smile but instead of reprimanding me she just give me a cold look and silently went upstairs.
I was left astonished maybe because I was expecting or wanted to hear her say something than just ignore me. Shouting hurts you but silence pierce you the most 'cause you'll never know what she was thinking and that you've lost your right of defending yourself at that moment.
I give a sigh I think I need to let it pass, I love her yes but sometimes I could also feel tired trying to understand and please her. Its just so hard when she never even speak or talk what she really want or feel. I mean guessing is a hard game.
With heavy shoulders I went upstairs and as I pass her room I stop hesitantly and try to knock but decided otherwise. Maybe my sister needs a little more time to accept the engagement fully and to accept that I was late because Im with my fiance and whatever she was thinking were doing whether true or not, she needs to accept him as in fully accept him.
As I reach my bed I dive in and went to sleep without even changing. Im too exhausted to lift a limb, too weary to think and too tired to rise. Sleep was overwhelming so I just embrace it.
The next morning I just receive a note that she make it so early so we wont have breakfast together but promises me that she'll have dinner with me and we'll have the grocery together. I sigh. Do I need to worry about something or was I just being so paranoid? Is she really fine? Is she really trying her best to accept the engagement? Is she really good? Are we really good? Which is which?
With frustration I just took the note and slip it in my pocket then lazily went to work. I don't feel like eating breakfast though, so might as well skipped it.
I took my normal day routine. Went to work and buried myself not to think of my sister. I guess I just need to talk to her later.
I try not to think much about it, about her, but the more I suppress it the more I cant help it.
Silence. I hate it. I hate it when I don't know what to do or act. I hate it when I need to choose between her and Jeremy and I hate it when everything seems to be so complicated since we were engaged. Or was it just because people around us can't accept our engagement that's why its hella hard to keep things together? Urgh! Why does family makes engagement so complicated? Were just marrying, were not leaving them or abandoning or shutting them out of our life. Were just trying to make and create our own family and life. Was it that hard to understand?
This whole silence thing makes me think a lot of worst thing and its not even helpful! I guess I really need to get a grip with myself and believe that love will prevail, and that Jeremy and me will prevail.
Odds be in my favor, I really hope my sister is damn okay.