Lazarus meant something to the original me. He wasn't a father figure, not exactly. The First Witch was a brilliant student, and he took an interest in her career. He was something of a mentor - giving her advice, congratulating her on her achievements, opening doors for her.
I remember him now, though his memory has stayed buried for a long time. I hold a thousand years worth of memories, but I can't access most of them. It was Scion who opened these memories to me.
Being an orphan all her life, the First Witch - Amarat, I believe she was called - didn't know what it was like to have a father. The pride in Lazarus's eyes was the closest thing she had.
Lazarus discovered Scion on one of his diplomatic missions to Kronos, the capital of Ariadne. He spoke about him a lot - the little boy with the injured smile. In the end he decided to bring him back to Prometheus, and, surprisingly, the High Councillor of Kronos agreed.
I close my eyes and let the ice grow from my toes. When I open them, the floor of my quarters is covered by a sheet of ice.
Addy cheers from atop the dresser. "You did it, Lil! You can ice skate in your room now."
Some of the ice rises up into a cloud and nudges Addy's foot. She carefully steps onto it, and it carries her over to my bed.
"Wow," she remarks, hopping off the cloud. "That was something else. It felt like...cold cotton candy? Or maybe icing with the bounciness of sponge cake?"
I grin at Addy's descriptions. To me it was just a magic cloud, but I don't have the imagination Addy does.
Addy's face turns serious. "Have you thought about what Onyx said?"
"Yes, Addy. I have. And I'm not going to do it."
My soul won't survive that kind of darkness. Onyx is insane for thinking it could. If I call upon that power, my fate will be sealed.
"I think you're stronger than you know," Addy says.
"No Addy, I'm not. I'm really not."
I'm not being negative - it's the truth. It took an amazing amount of effort to stop myself from ripping Scion's throat out.
The First Witch's soul was twisted into something hateful and dark. That darkness has always been with me, and it will always be with me. If I give it full reign, even for a moment, it will never let go.
"Please don't get mad, Lil, but Onyx does have a point. That orb is dangerous. If you don't destroy the demon for good, it could return one day."
"Then I'll have to defeat it again."
"Destroying a demon imprisoned in an orb is one thing, but facing it when it's free is another. And how many people could it kill before you even knew it was back? Destroying the orb without using the power could make things worse in the long run."
I frown. "I'll be stronger then. I'll kill it again."
"And it'll come back. And you'll kill it again, and it'll come back. It'll keep coming back, Lil. It'll keep killing."
"Then we leave the orb be!" I throw up my hands. "There aren't any other Phaedreans left, so it'll stay sealed forever."
"What about Scion? He won't stop until he gets you to unseal the orb."
Then I'll have to kill Scion. And if he comes back I'll kill him again, and again. I'll spend my whole life killing.
I put my head in my hands. Addy's right. The best thing is to use the dark power to destroy the orb. What's my soul compared to the lives of thousands?
"There must be another way, Addy. There has to be some other way."
She puts her head on my shoulder and wraps her arm around me. "You can do this, Lily. I know you can."
I shake my head. "No, Addy. If I do this the demon might be gone, but you'll have something worse to deal with. You'll have me."