"Well, I guess we should try to get our heart rates to calm down a little, huh?" Wanda smiles, cocking her head slightly to the side as if she's making fun of me.
"You don't know that he meant me. Could have meant you. Probably was you." I reply and her smile grows.
"Cool as a cucumber?"
"Oh, you got it, baby." I nod coolly, crossing my arms across my chest. Wanda looks away from me, still smiling wide, shaking her head slightly at me.
I catch myself studying her face, trying to remember every detail of how she looks when she's amused -of how she looks when she's amused by me. I feel like this is all I want to do for the rest of my days; just keep her smiling. It suits her.
Wanda looks back at me suddenly, her smile even bigger now, her eyes shining merrily.
"What?" I ask her, feeling like she's in on some joke I am not.
"Nothing. I just -like you." She says after a little pause, her cheeks rosy.
"Oh."
"Oh?" She tilts her head again and my chest feels like it's going to explode at the sight.
What on earth is going on?
"Right." I nod and she chuckles slightly.
"Alright, Livv-o."
"No. Absolutely not." I shake my head and she laughs, the sound echoing in the empty kitchen.
"Livv-o is cute."
"It sounds like Jello." I roll my eyes and she shrugs.
"I like jello."
"Wanda."
"Don't act like you don't turn into jelly each time I touch you." Wanda sneers, her eyes sparkling joyously and I laugh out loud at her bashfulness.
"You need to stop." I say, but my tone comes out sounding nothing like I want her to stop. And I kind of am enjoying this Wanda, to be honest.
"Why? Can't keep up?" She teases, a smirk on her face and she bites her lower lip as she watches me react.
"No, I just don't want that robot to scold you again."
"Hmm." She hums and I don't miss the way her smile filters for just a second before she puts it back on. "Let's go back to our room."
"If you want." I shrug and she nods and extends her hand for me to take.
I take it, feeling like I'm suddenly back in middle school and am finally earning just the slightest attention from my crush. Wanda smiles again and I get the feeling that she's been listening in on my thoughts and it makes me blush slightly, wishing I weren't such a nerd. Whatever happened to me? I used to be so cool.
Wanda snorts and I look sternly at her but it doesn't deter the smile on her face whatsoever.
Wanda leads us back through the maze of corridors and the at first barely perceptible tingle I felt when our hands met has grown to warm prickling. It's odd, but not unpleasant. Almost like feeling your limb come awake after it has been asleep, not moving for a long while. I wonder if the feeling has something to do with Wanda's magic.
"Here we are." Wanda says as we return to the door of the room we left just a little while earlier when she thought everyone needed to know I was 'back', whatever that really meant. I am pulled into the room by the hand and I break Natasha's rule about not closing the door.
Let her come and find me if she has an issue. I'm not scared.
Wanda snorts again and I roll my eyes as I hear the door click shut behind me.
Wanda spins around, her hair loosely bouncing around her shoulders so effortlessly it makes me slightly jealous. She pulls me in by the hand, her smile fading. I barely have the time to register what is happening before I feel her lips on mine and I feel like my feet are yanked from underneath me.
Wanda lets go of my hand and hers travel up to the sides of my face, cupping my cheeks in her hands and I get the feeling that we are the only two people left on earth and all I can think of is her in my arms.
Our kiss lives like a melodic piece of music played by an entire orchestra; swelling and crescendoing with all of the musicians playing their instruments to perfection, before it calms and only a few strings are heard. I eagerly pull her against me, wanting to remove every inch of air that separates us; my heart aching for her heart.
"Slow." Wanda chuckles against my lips, her voice low and raspy and I want to do everything but slow.
I smile, feeling her do the same before I suddenly get an impulse and brashly follow it. I bend my knees slightly and grab her by her thighs, hoisting her up against me and she clings onto my neck, a surprised gasp escaping her but she never breaks the kiss. I'm momentarily taken aback by how light she is, but decide to ignore it and stumble towards the bed with her clinging onto me.
When I feel my toes bump against the bed I lean forwards and drop Wanda onto the mattress. She falls the short way down, but as she hits the bed she scrunches up her face in pain and a little yelp escapes her lips.
"Oh my god, I'm so so so so sorry." I instantly apologize, kneeling down on the floor in front of her, holding her legs in place as I watch her ride the wave of pain.
I'm an absolute idiot.
"It's okay." She says through gritted teeth, trying her best to look like the pain isn't as bad as I can tell it is.
"Wanda, I-"
"Don't worry, babe, it's-"
"No, please, I..." I pause, the mesmerizing spell I've been under ebbing away slowly as I return to my senses.
"What is it?" Wanda asks, seeing my expression and she sits up gingerly, one hand on the side of her abdomen, regarding me carefully.
I stay kneeling in front of her, my eyes coincidentally lining up with where I imagine her wound to be on her stomach. A soft hand comes to rest under my jaw, the thumb softly tracing back and forth. She pulls my face up and I am forced to meet her eyes.
"Livvy, please don't blame yourself." She pleads, her voice airy and light.
"I-" I begin, but the ''don't' never leaves my lips. She frowns slightly.
"I'm just so happy to have you here again. Here with me. Safe." She whispers and my stomach turns, but not because of anything good, but because it brings back that feeling of not being in control of my own body and for the first time, I feel a little twinge of fear deep down inside of me.
"Wanda, what did I do?" I ask her, my voice quiet, as if I'm afraid of the words bringing some terrible truth to light.
Wanda sighs, tracing her thumb once more against my cheek before she lets go of my face. I watch her as she gives a small, sad little smile before she shrugs her tray cardigan off her shoulders, exposing her black t-shirt underneath. I don't know what she is doing, so I sit there quietly, waiting and watching. She slowly and carefully pulls her t-shirt up, exposing at first a little strip of pale stomach, then a big white patch of bandaid on one side of her stomach. She doesn't stop but pulls the t-shirt all the way over her shoulders, leaving her in nothing but her sweatpants and a black bra. If this happened under any other circumstance, I don't doubt I would struggle with not staring, but this is not about that now.
I quickly look up at her face, finding her watching me intently. I then look down again onto her stomach. She stays completely still, letting me take it in. I lightly touch the soft bandaid, not quite knowing what it is that I am feeling.
What I do know is I am the reason for that bandaid and for the pain on her face and her quiet yelp of pain earlier. I am the reason for her pain.
My eyes are then pulled to the other side of her abdomen where a faint, pinkish, jagged scar is visible. I look up at her. Her eyes are still fixed on me, her expression unreadable. I look back down for the second time, this time finding my fingers tracing her scar. I am barely touching her skin, but I notice how she's breathing a lot more shallowly at my touch.
"I remember this one." My voice is barely audible but I know she can hear the slight tremble of my voice as I try to keep my worried emotions in check.
She places one of her hands over mine as I skim over the scar and she pushes down against my hand so that it comes to lie flat against her stomach, right over the scar. I look up, questioning.
"It's okay." She tells me, the truth behind those two words is evident, and yet it's not okay. It's so not okay.
"Liv." The tone of her voice makes me meet her eyes guiltily. There is no judgment behind her eyes. "I remember someone once saying that her injury made her look badass. I think I look pretty badass."
"You -Wanda, no, itthis is not the same at all." I fumble but she just breathes out, amused, the motion making the muscles under my palm ripple slightly.
"I think it is." She warmly says. "And I wouldn't change a second of it."
I bite my lip uncertainly. Her words and her actions tell me she really is not placing any blame on me, but how can I not? I am literally staring at the results of my actions in front of me, marring her otherwise smooth skin. That'll be with her forever. And she almost died the first time, and the second time... how could there even be a second time? Why would there ever be a second tie?
There will never be a third time.
I try to blink away the tears which suddenly threaten to constrict my vision. I let my hand slide slightly to the side, holding onto her waist, her hand over mine following mine without question. I lean forward slowly and press a featherlight kiss over first the bandaid, and then over the scar. My lips feel cold against her warm skin. She breathes out softly as my lips leave her.
"I'm so sorry, Wanda." I murmur, something catching in my throat, never having felt more like a broken piece of pottery than I feel right now. Broken and used, the shards of my shell sharp and dangerous.
"You don't apologize to me, remember?" She asks, her voice thick, calling back to what she told me what feels like many lifetimes ago on the Raft.
I nod, a few tears escaping my eyes and rolling down my cheeks. I feel Wanda's hands on either side of my face again, her palms warm against my cool skin. My blurry vision sees her lean forward, her red hair glistening through my tears. She softly kisses my face where my tears are rolling down, mirroring the tenderness I kissed her with. The action makes a little sob slip through my lips.
"It is okay, draga mea."
I wrap my arms around her thin waist, burrowing my face in her lap and she wraps her arms around me, leaning down to shield me from the world as I silently cry. She doesn't stop me or try to explain it away, she only whispers softly words in Sokovian which I can't quite understand nor hear, but her soft voice speaking in its natural tongue and accent prove soothing, and I feel myself drifting further and further away from that dark hole which threatened to swallow me whole just a moment ago.
"I'm scared that I'll hurt you again." I whisper into her middle, my voice thick with shed tears.
"You won't." She certainly says, kissing the top of my head.
"You don't- you don't know that." I sniffle. "If they could make me do it once why not twice?"
"Because this time I am here, and I'll hold onto you." Wanda replies.
Her certainty is calming, but it makes something else bubble up inside of me; something I have been keeping bottled up for a long time.
"W-Wanda?" I ask, looking up at her and she loosens her grip on me slightly.
"Hmm?"
"I just- I need to get this out." I mumble, feeling the weight of what I've been carrying with me ever since she first asked about going back in time. Wanda watches me, a slightly guarded expression on her face.
"I don't think I can be the one you need me to be." I say and she frowns, not understanding.
"You- you are." She tells me, her eyes searching my face.
"When you wanted to come back in time, you wanted to come back because of..." I trail off and I can tell she's catching onto where I am going now. "Pietro... and Vision."
My last word hangs between us heavily, the silence stretching out between us like a thick blanket of newly fallen snow, glistening pure and untouched. Wanda looks defeated, her lips having parted slightly and her eyes glossy, reflecting my own face back at me.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to ruin the moment... twice." I smile awkwardly but she doesn't reciprocate, her hands on my shoulders having gone completely still, the weight of them tenfold. "But I... I really like you, Wanda. Like really. You make me feel, so, well, so not like me- the old me. I can't describe it. And I... it's been a while since I've felt this way and I just can't help but feel like I'm taking advantage of you."
"You- what?" Wanda whispers, her expression confused at how I ended my sentence.
"You're obviously not over Vision. I don't know what went on with you two, but I know it was something rare, special. I know I can't compare, ever, and you have not healed. If that is what you want to do." I finish, looking down at her bandaid in order to not see her expression, because I don't think I could handle it. Maybe I can just about handle hearing it. I steel myself, closing my eyes, waiting for it. Just waiting.
"Oh, Liv." She sighs and I bite back tears. Here it comes. "You are right. You can't compare and I am not healed."
Her words twist my heart painfully. I was expecting it, and yet... I breathe out shakily.
Wanda's hand brushes up my neck to my jaw and she tilts my head up slightly.
Great. She's crying now, too.
"You can't compare because you are you, and what we have is completely separate to what I ha -had with Vis. And you are also right in saying I'm not healed. I still hurt. I know that he -"
She looks up at the ceiling and swallows, compartmentalizing. I can tell; I've done the same for years.
"I know he died over five years ago, but to me... he hasn't been gone for more than a couple of months. I watched him die in front of my eyes twice, and then I was gone too, and I was relieved."
She smiles sadly, a big tear rolling down her cheek. It falls from her jaw down onto my hand.
"And then suddenly I was back, right where I died. I was wearing the same clothes, I - I was seconds from it happening, and yet it had been five years. I've not healed, but time moves on. And now I have you."
She smiles again, this time more genuinely. I find myself hanging onto every syllable she utters. Her thumb brushes against my jaw and I don't even dare to blink, afraid of the moment being over.
"Now I have you and I think - no," She corrects herself. "I still hurt, but I don't hurt every day. And - oh, Olivia the irony is I love you."
She laughs, relieved.
"I love him but I love you. He is gone and you are here and I love you."
My jaw actually falls open, not having expected this at all. I was readying myself to never get to hold her or touch her again. And now she just goes and throws this at me. How does she know she loves me? How does she even know I am me? My head is spinning like it's been detached from my body.
"Wanda-" I open my mouth but she shakes her head.
"Don't try your dumb little agent tricks on me, you can't talk me out of this. I realized this a while ago already, Livvy. I don't expect anything back from you; you've given me far more of yourself than I have the right to ask for. But this is me giving a part of me to you."
She smiles a teary smile and she's never looked more beautiful to me than just in this moment, sitting there shivering without a shirt, her face splotchy and shining with tears, her nose slightly red and her eyes round, green and true.
"I love you." She repeats and I have to hold onto her waist harder to know I am actually here, that my knees are actually aching against the floor and that she is actually here with me.
"No, you don't." I whisper, shaking my head.
"Stop it." She laughs and she grabs my face in her hands, keeping me still.
She leans down towards me, brushing her lips against mine, our tears mixing. Her breath is warm against my lips and my heart beats against my chest, again aware of her proximity, wanting to escape its confine and probably join hers in her chest instead.
"I-" She kisses me.
"Love." A kiss.
"You." She kisses my nose and opens her eyes, looking into mine with a smile.
"Don't say anything." She says with a slight tremble of her voice when I open my mouth.
I can't help the grin that spreads on my face, the realization of the moment washing over me and I feel like I might explode right here and go out like a firework, and I wouldn't even be mad.
"Wanda-" I try again but she kisses me, muffling the rest of my words.
I giggle against her lips, pushing myself against her, forcing her down on her back onto the mattress. She groans slightly as her wound no doubt complains about the motion, but she doesn't do anything to indicate that she needs me to pause. In fact, her hands claw at me, drawing me down on her and her legs wrap around my hips, holding me in place.
I feel her teeth against my lip, the slight pain causing me to gasp and as I do she takes her chance and deepens the kiss. I sink into her, forgetting about all of the still unanswered questions and fears in the back of my mind, in this moment I am just being completely hers.
She loves me.
I repeat those three words over and over in my head until I can't keep it in and I actually laugh into Wanda's mouth. She makes an undignified sound at that and I pull back slightly, locking eyes with her. Her eyes are hooded and dark green, her cheeks flushed and her red hair a messy fiery halo around her milky skin.
"What's so funny?" She wonders and I giggle again, showering her face with kisses all over, wanting her to know how beautiful she is.
"Livvy!?" She laughs and I lift myself up slightly and she smiles at me.
"Well damn." I say, a calm realization, which really isn't a realization, but more like a fact that I've carried with me but only now found, washing over me.
"Well damn." She repeats sweetly, not quite understanding what is going on.
"I might love you too, Maximoff." The words fall off my tongue like butter and the rosy tint on her cheeks instantly deepen to a darker red.
I push a small strand of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. She is still during my movement, watching me with those intense eyes of hers.
"Fuck it." I sigh. "I do love you too, witchy."
A/N: OK, is this or isn't this the cutest chapter ??? Only took these bitches 59 chapters to realize :))))) (well, Wanda did try to say it a few chapters back, don't know if you noticed)... I don't know which I prefer at this point - heartbreak or fluff haha but I thought they deserved some reprieve, don't you think?