Darwin
•••••
I lie awake, just listening to Lia and Lincoln breathing. I desperately want to sleep, but something is keeping me up.
It's not a person, sound, or anything physical, it's just something.
Maybe it's what Lia was saying. Although I don't really believe her, there's a small part of me that keeps bringing up "what if" statements.
What if she wasn't hallucinating? What if we really do only have three days left? What if we're taken back to Myer Labs? And if it is real, what about Siggy?
Speaking of Siggy, I don't know how I got back to camp after I had that major breakdown regarding his condition. I recall everything going dark and closing my eyes, then the next time I opened them, I was here. Charlotte and Vince were checking on me. What did Charlotte say to me before she instructed me to go to bed early?
Squeezing my eyes shut, I do my best to try and clear some of the fog that clouds my memory. She said... no, she asked me to... move my fingers and toes? Yeah, that's what it was. That's weird. I was only ever asked that after I had received "knock out".
Ah fuck.
Rubbing my hands over my face, I curse myself for not realizing this until now. All of the signs point with flashing lights toward "knock out" being the culprit; the needle-like poke in my thigh, not remembering anything until I came to, the questions that Charlotte asked me.
I'm such a fucking idiot.
Why did Charlotte have it in the first place, though? Wait, Lia was there when I was injected, and she probably told Lincoln. I know they're most likely still asleep, but there's no harm in checking.
Sitting up, I look over to where they're laying. Glad my eyes have adjusted to the darkness. I can just make out their forms in their sleeping bags. Just as I thought, still asleep. For some reason, I lean a little closer.
They're on their sides, facing each other, with Lincoln's arm resting on Lia's torso just below her rib cage. Without me wanting to, my body heats up and my face turns stern.
What the hell is wrong with me? They can do whatever they want.
Sighing, I go to turn away, but Lia moves. She rolls over onto her other side, no longer facing Lincoln, but me. In seeing her peaceful, sleeping expression, my own expression softens. You know, she actually looks... pretty. Her long, dark lashes, the light dusting of freckles sprinkled across her face, her parted, soft lips. I feel the corner of my own lips quirk.
Despite how shitty I've been to her, she hasn't given up on me yet. Every time I lose my shit, she's there to help me clean it back up.
I've got to be better. It isn't fair for her to keep giving and never receive. Plus, Marie would've seriously fucked me up if she knew how much of a dick I've been to Lia. I should—
"It's rude to stare." My heart leaps into my throat, wiping away any expression I had on my face. Lia's eyes glow in what little light is here in the tent as she laughs quietly.
"Sorry." I mumble, doing my best to look anywhere but at her. More extremely quiet chuckles. "Did I wake you up?"
"No," Lia whispers, shaking her head. "I've been awake for a while. Like a couple hours or something."
"Oh." The fact that neither of us know what to say or do next creates a lull in our conversation. Vince's snores from the neighboring tent and Lincoln's soft breaths fill the gap.
"Couldn't sleep either?" Lia guesses.
"Yeah." I nod even though I know she can't see it. There's that almost silence again. Both of us avoid making eye contact in the dark.
Lincoln grunts, displeased with something in his dream, and rolls over onto his back. I notice his arm slide off of Lia as he moves. Whatever strange emotion I was feeling ebbs away. In the absence of Lincoln's arm, Lia pulls her arms and legs closer to herself, practically curling up into a ball. The emotion slithers it's way back to the surface, causing me to sigh and lay down.
Looks like I'm off to a great start with the whole "being better" thing. Lia sighs, too.
"Since neither of us can sleep, want to go for a walk?" Lia asks softly. I consider this offer for a second, running through possible scenarios and weighing their outcomes. None of the outcomes seem too bad. Besides, a walk might do me some good.
"Sure." Neither of us moves. Someone from the next tent coughs. I don't know how long we sit in silence for, just staring at nothing. 10 minutes? 30? An hour? Either way, Lia sits up,
"We should go." I hear her carefully slip out of her sleeping bag.
"Yeah." I slide out of my sleeping bag, too. As I pull my shoes on, Lia starts crawling around the tent, seeming to be searching for something. "What are you doing?" I hiss.
"Um, is the clothing suitcase in here?" I don't bother asking why she needs it. It really doesn't matter to me.
"Yeah," I whisper. I've said "yeah" so much that it's starting to not sound like a word anymore. "It's over here by me."
"Oh, ok." Hesitantly, she makes her way closer to me. I can tell she's squinting in the dark, doing her best to see exactly where it is. "Uh, where?" I forgot that it's behind me.
"Here." I say, forcing the slight annoyance I have out of my voice. Scooching over, I gently take Lia's wrist. Her breath hitches from the unexpected touch, nearly causing me to let go.
No, you need to be better.
I slowly guide her until I feel her hand hit the suitcase. She's right next to me now, her shoulder brushing mine.
"Thanks." She whispers. The zipper very slowly gets unzipped. Her arm lightly skims mine, raising the hair on my arms. Whether it's from her basically being a human electric eel or something else, I'm not sure. She digs through the suitcase and pulls out a few pieces of clothing.
"Don't look." Lia commands, her whisper making her words sound threatening. I can't see that much in the dark, but I hold up my hands before using one to cover my eyes. Despite being unable to see through my hand, I close my eyes just in case.
If she wants privacy, that's what she's going to get. Just to be even more cautious, I lay down on my side.
I hear her pull off something and drop it by her sleeping bag. She tugs on the new clothing item and goes onto the next. Lia gasps softly as she tosses the old clothing aside. There's a startled, sharp inhale and thrashing from the other side of the tent. Out of habit, my body tenses and my heart starts pounding. It's taking all of my strength to not bolt up.
"What the fuck?" Lincoln sputters.
"Sorry." I can practically hear the cringe in Lia's voice.
"Lia? What are you doing?" He whispers, still trying to catch his breath. "Is this... your sweater?"
"I— I was changing," I just know her face is so damn red right now. "So yes, that's mine. Sorry it hit you."
"It's al... oh my God, I'm so sorry." There's a quiet clap as he slaps a hand over his eyes. I guarantee his face is just as red as Lia's.
"Um," Lia coughs lightly. "Don't worry about it." Fuck, this is so awkward.
"I... uh... I'm just going to go back to sleep." The sweater lands on Lia's sleeping bag next to me.
"Yeah, ok." I physically cringe.
"Hopefully I'll forget this happened." Lincoln lays back down, sounding like he's pulling his sleeping bag over his head.
"Me too." Lia mumbles to herself. A quiet snort escapes me, and I feel Lia's eyes harshly staring me down.
"Sorry. Goodnight." Lincoln states, muffled slightly.
"Night." Lia yanks on her shirt. "Shit." I wait a second before responding.
"Hmm?" I do my best to make it as silent as possible.
"Nothing. Let's just go."
Uncovering my eyes, sitting up, and taking my gun out from under my pillow, I follow Lia as she crawls out of the tent. I shoot a glance back at Lincoln, who looks like a caterpillar in a cocoon. Once outside, I realize how hot it was in the tent. I also realize what Lia was upset about.
Illuminated by the moonlight, Lia stands in a t-shirt that's way too big for her. The hem brushes her thighs, just barely above the edge of her shorts. She grabbed the wrong one. I can't help but smirk.
"It's not funny, Darwin." She says, eyeing my gun as I put it in my waistband.
"It's not funny." I echo, continuing to smirk.
"Ok, where do we want to go?" Lia speaks up, eager to change the subject. A plan suddenly pops into my head.
"Wait here, I have an idea."
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Salut, tout le monde!
I know, it's been a while. Again. I didn't realize how busy I was going to get once school started. Sorry, guys.
Anyway, I hope you're all doing well and enjoying Divagate! Don't be afraid to comment! I want to see your thoughts (good and bad) on things!
As always, I love those of you who read every single chapter! You guys are the best!! <3
Thanks for reading chapter 23!💕