never had satan imagined for it to be so peaceful.
whenever the brothers came together—to watch a movie, go shopping or even sit in the same room, it always ended in chaos, with one running after the other, or in petty fights that lasted a whole week.
it is truly a miracle that the brothers are existing in the same room right now.
mammon and levi are having another go at the game—'devilcart,' as levi claimed. asmodeus is applying face masks on everyone in the room, muttering something about their skin drying out. belphegor is trying to restrain beel from eating the cucumber placed on his eyes. but satan slipped from the room.
he didn't want those facemasks on, having given the excuse of 'taking a bath.' a bath was needed but first, he needed to talk with lucifer.
"i know you're inside. ignoring me won't help anything." the blonde demon had knocked thrice on the door, and threatened to even break it down, if lucifer didn't let him in.
"we need to talk."
he can hear shuffling from behind, the turning of a lock, a muffled spell to break the curse, and the door slowly creaks open, sanguine eyes glare at him from the darkness before vanishing.
satan walks inside the dim room, the only source of light being from the fireplace and the moon—the sun of the devildom. lucifer sits on a chair, one leg crossed over the other and his arms in his lap. like a cat on a throne.
"speak. if it is about what happened today, then please show yourself out."
"that is exactly why i've come to talk."
satan hisses, glaring at the demon who sits poised on his chair. he's been in this room for merely two minutes and his hands are already itching to grab the poker from the fireplace and impale lucifer with it.
"you need to apologise."
"mammon's hurting," he trails off, voice wavering slightly before he takes a deep breath. he won't be so vulnerable in front of him, of all people.
"mammon's hurting, and we—"
"you've all made it up to him, i suppose?"
satan can feel his temper rising. were mammon's words of begging to be killed not enough to knock some sense into his brother? was he that thick-headed, or simply too cruel? was he only interested in maintaing his stupid pride—
calm down, he tells himself, and his gaze falls on the tray lying on the table.
belphegor's tray. the one he gave to lucifer. it's empty, and that means there's hope.
"we have. but we need you too apologize too, apologize for your sordid actions and words." satan take a deep breath as he waits for an answer. he sees lucifer get up from the couch, towards the vinyl player, and growls as a warning, which lucifer pays no heed to, of course.
but satan waits patiently as the demon chooses a record, and he swears lucifer is taking his sweet time to agitate him. but he bears the wrath that's begging to reveal itself, for lashing out at such a moment will bear no fruit.
the record starts playing, and lucifer turns around, poised and composed as ever, and declares proudly.
"i won't."
in a flash, satan's demon form comes to life, and his nails dig into the stone walls as he jumps forward at the demon with his teeth bared in a display of hostility.
lucifer's form materialises too, his wings unfurling and blowing away the documents on the desk. satan pounces at his brother as he grabs the ruffled collars, nearly smashing his forehead against lucifer's own as he stares into his eyes.
"why?" it's a straightforward question, spoken through gritted teeth, and nearly ends in a snarl. lucifer stands calm as ever, and satan envies him for a brief moment—seems like the bastard gave him all his wrath and left none for himself.
"why can't you admit you're a part of the problem too, lucifer? why can't you admit that it's also your fault that mammon was begging to be killed this morning? or are you so oblivious that you can't even see your own mistakes?"
satan taunts lucifer in the hope that his brother will lash out and attack him, so that he can finally make the demon see the problems he created with his own eyes, because he refuses to acknowledge them.
but he doesn't waver. lucifer still stands tall, an unwavering pillar of pride.
seems like the circumstances call for more drastic measures. seems like satan will have to bring him into this, the someone he's sure lucifer will rush to defend.
"or i should go and ask your wonderful lord diavolo to convince his lover to apologize?"
lucifer's fist clench at that, and something dark swirls in the red of his eyes—and satan grins in triumph, because the arrow has hit its mark.
"he's not my lover."
satan shrugs tauntingly, merrily striding towards the papers on the ground, and promptly picks up one and tears it into pieces, testing lucifer's patience. "so, he's your master then?"
lucifer growls as a warning and satan revels in the sadistic joy it brings him. it only fuels his wrath even more, and gives him satisfaction to rile his brother up, to make him feel what he's feeling too—anger.
he gazes outside the window, in the woods which are devoid of any leaves, barren and lacking life. time for the final blow, the final hit on his pride.
satan knows his brother considers himself the best, acts full of himself, and looks down on everybody else because he considers himself to be the top dog in the room, as his pride dictates. lord diavolo and barbatos are the exception, and satan wants to know why.
"why do you stiffen up when matter concerning your 'lord' diavolo come up? just because he's royalty, doesn't mean that you keep kissing his behind."
lucifer's eyes seem to burn even brighter at the comment, and satan grins internally.
"or have you sworn allegiance to diavolo, sold your soul and given your loyalty in an act of humility? is that why you can't bear to hear anything bad about him?"
it's a joke in bad taste, to get lucifer to lose control and get angry, but the demon stays eerily silent, his gaze falls on the fire raging in the fireplace and satan can see the flames dance in those red irises.
"no," he mumbles, striding forward until he's face to face with his brother, whose still avoiding his gaze, still staring into the fireplace, and satan makes his eyes forcefully meet his own. "tell me this isn't true."
but all that lucifer does is nod, and in that moment, satan doesn't see lucifer, the avatar of pride, he sees a defeated demon.
"how?" he asks desperately, searching in lucifer's eyes for any trace of dishonesty, any sign that he's lying, but all he sees is helplessness.
"my loyalty to diavolo is my duty and my burden."
"i—i don't understand." satan confesses, his voice cracking at the end. he didn't expect for a joke to be true. he's even more surprised at how a demon like lucifer could swear loyalty to a demon like diavolo.
lucifer smiles sadly.
"when i dived after lilith when she fell," his voice shakes lightly at the end, and he turns his attention to the papers lying on the ground. he begins collecting them one by one—to perhaps distract himself from the eons-old pain as he speaks.
"she was severely wounded. she wouldn't have lasted in the devildom air much longer. i begged diavolo to save her, and in return, i pleaded my loyalty to him. it's because of him lilith lived a happy human life."
"she was born as a human," satan's voice trails off as he tries to take in the fact that lilith lived. she lived and the brothers didn't know. satan had no connection to her, but the brothers did.
"why didn't you tell the others? why keep it a secret?"
lucifer puts a paperweight on the stack that has been formed as he turns around. "lilith was alive, yes, and there was nothing stopping you from seeing her. but it was forbidden." he walks towards the record player, and pus in another one—a classic, which satan recognises because it was the record that lucifer played on rainy nights.
"imagine what would have happened if it came to light that the prince gave a second life to someone whose supposed to be dead."
"there would have been a reckoning." satan whispers, only able to imagine what would have happened if word would have gotten out that the prince helped a fallen angel. they'd be imprisoned, or worse, they'd be executed according to the demands of both angels and demons.
'i thought it was best i be the only one who had to live with the pain of knowing that."
at first, satan feels pity for his brother. standing all alone, bearing the burden of the truth alone. but then, he feels anger.
"if you can keep such a painful secret from us, why can't you apologize? you're part of the problem too, lucifer"
"how can i apologize, when i'm doing it to protect you all?"
mad, is what satan thinks. mad, his brother's gone mad, lost his head. but he stays quite, waiting for lucifer to answer the question he himself created.
"ever the curious one, aren't you?"
"get straight to the point." satan snaps, and lucifer smiles on seeing his irritation.
"i was the one that rebelled against father. lilith's sentence wasn't the only reason, but it was the catalyst that started it all. i was the one that fought against fate, and look what it yielded me, yielded us all."
he points at his horns, and satan briefly imagines the halo that must have been there. instead of black, he imagines his wings to be white, and three instead of two pairs. how must it feel, to be feared rather than revered.
the utter humiliation.
"charity turned to greed, kindness to envy, chastity to lust, temperance to gluttony, diligence to sloth, and humility to pride. and you, satan, were born out of my emotions, you are wrath."
wrath, that's all he was. born out of lucifer's emotions, the demon being the very reason he was so imbalanced in the first place, the reason he felt so angry.
"you must hate me for what i've done to you."
that's true, satan curses lucifer for making him like this, he is the reason he can never be at peace for long.
lucifer knows, knows it all.
the demon walks towards the alcohol cabinet and pulls out a bottle of demonus, the expensive vintage one that lucifer kept hidden with a spell.
he pours it into two glasses and hands satan one as well, before retiring to the couch near the fireplace.
"virtues turned into sins." lucifer resumes after taking a sip of the intoxicating beverage, to perhaps make the alcohol loosen up his tongue. "our sins might have become the cause of destruction, if left uncontrolled."
he pours himself another glass, and satan wonders how the demon managed to finish the first when he had barely taken a sip of his own drink.
"that is why i keep mammon's greed in check, made levi turn his envy inwards so that he doesn't go destroying others lives too often, monitor asmo's parties and how many demons he brings home, ensure that beel is sated enough to not go on a rampage, and make sure belphegor completes the tasks assigned to him and not sleep the days away."
no mention of satan, because there wasn't anything virtuous in him to begin with. there was only wrath. there is no way to let his wrath out in a regulated manner, despite lucifer's efforts.
lucifer doesn't mention satan, because he knows.
"what about your pride?"
the avatar of pride swirls his glass as he gaze at his own reflection. he pauses, but not for long.
"i let it fester. let it free because there was no way i could keep it in check. i started taking pride in the way i work, in the way i am diavolo's right-hand man, in the way i keep you all together, in the way i lay waste to your pranks."
satan stays silent, letting the demon finish his words, even when lucifer stares at him, almost waiting for the blonde demon to interrupt, but he doesn't.
"i am proud of being the most reliable out of all of you,of the way i punish you all, of the way i keep us all together, even if by force. i am proud of all my brothers. i am..proud of you."
satan stares at lucifer in surprise. never had he imagined that he of all people would say such things. perhaps that is the demonus at work, but who knows? lucifer is hard to read, but in this moment, he's revealing a part of himself to satan, a part he never did before.
"but are you proud of mammon's suffering?"
"no."
"then why do you punish him incessantly?"
lucifer chuckles softly.
"mammon has always been a troublemaker, since our time in the celestial realm. even michael had trouble with him."
there he goes, talking about someone he's never met and somewhere, the somewhere he hasn't seen. but satan doesn't voice that out loud, instead, he waits for lucifer to continue.
"mammon slowly grew on me, and it seems he did too, because he came to see me and talk everyday."
"then why be so harsh on him if you adore him?"
lucifer's face delves into something darker, something incomprehensible as he stares at the burning embers of the fireplace, and takes a long swing from the glass before speaking.
"i adore him and his troublesome ways, that is very much true. but this isn't the celestial realm anymore. this is the devildom."
satan remains quiet.
lucifer finally gazes into satan's own eyes.
"his antics, which might have been dismissed with a scolding in the celestial realm won't be taken so lightly in the devildom. stealing from the demon lord's treasury will have its consequences. and i saw it fit to punish him."
satan knows what lucifer is referring to. last month, mammon had attempted to steal gold from the royal treasury, and had been caught. satan doesn't know what took place between diavolo and lucifer, but he knows that the latter had a long talk with leviathan, who seemed shaken up for a week after. oh, and mammon was strung up from the ceiling on one foot.
"granted, mammon deserved to be punished for his actions. but isn't your strict behaviour, your insults and punishments too a part of the reason that mammon broke down today?"
"mammon needs to learn. if you think i am going to apologize, i am not. i have to do it to protect you all."
satan's anger flares up.
"this behaviour is the reason why mammon was begging to be killed this morning!" satan shouts these words, and lucifer stares into the glass he's holding, gone silent.
"this behaviour is the reason why mammon thinks we regret that he lives instead of her! this is the reason why belphegor longs for the brother that has hidden himself away since he came here!"
satan hadn't meant for that last line to slip past his lips, but wrath made him loosen his tongue. he can see the effect it has on the demon. he's stopped sipping on his drink, and satan swears he saw him flinch.
"do you simply not care, lucifer morningstar or—"
"enough!"
the glass in lucifer's hand shatters, spilling demonus on the floor. "do you think i not care? the reason why i am like this is because i care, dammit!"
"but your 'care' is the reason why we're having this conversation! staying away from your problems and assuming they'll resolve on their own won't cut it! you need to be honest with your feelings!" the blonde demon swears as he shatters his own drink against the floor.
"i sound like a fucking therapist at this point." he mutters angrily.
"we are demons, satan. demons don't lose themselves to emotions that make them weak. i am doing it to protect you all, remember that. my care is the reason you are what you are today."
"your 'care' is ruining us!" satan spits these words at lucifer's face, trying to pull off the mask he wears—the mask of apathy.
"you are not protecting us by doing this—you are ruining your family with your own hands! you're the one tearing us apart!"
for a moment, both men stare at each other, with their chest heaving and rage burning in their eyes.
"then tell me." lucifer mutters, walking forward to sit on the couch as he grabs the bottle and drinks from it, an action that lucifer would never be caught doing, too prideful to drink like some uncultured swine. "tell me how."
"if you really want to protect us," satan begins, as he grabs the bottle out of lucifer's hands to take a sip for himself. "open up to us."
lucifer gapes at satan on hearing those words.
"relax, i'm not asking you to offer your head on a platter, i'm asking you to share your problems with us." satan chides him on seeing the bewildered look on his brother's face.
"you can't protect us by keeping your burdens to yourself. you kept lilith's rebirth a secret, and chose to bear the burden all alone. the others would have been happy to know their sister lived."
"i had no choice back then."
"but you do now."
lucifer raises an eyebrow.
"open up to us, ask us for help if needed, just like how we ask you for things every day. ruling with an iron fist might ensure order in a kingdom, but it makes the people hate the ruler. so, if you want to rule over us proudly, and keep us all together—apologise."
lucifer looks terrifying—with his eyes narrowed and wings puffed in hostility, he truly looks like a demon, and not of a brother who keeps his emotions locked in his heart.
"consider this the way to protect us, if you will, lucifer." satan mutters, hoping his last sentence wil have its desired effect on the demon. lucifer says nothing, but takes out a handkerchief from his pocket, and begins wiping his hand clean of demonus.
satan waits.
"i am not even sure if they respect me even more, look up to me the same way they did before. they must listen because they fear me."
satan scoffs at the oblivious demon he calls his brother.
"they fear you, yes, but they also respect you. and mammon respects you the most."
lucifer's eyes widen as he takes in the weight of satan's words. if he could, the blonde demon would have taken a picture of his shocked face—surprise was an emotion rarely seen on lucifer. but then shock changes into a smug smirk, and satan can feel that the tables are about to be turned.
"and what about you? do you respect me too?"
satan groans.
lucifer smiles.
when he moves towards him, satan stiffens. lucifer has always been unpredictable, a quality satan both admired and loathed.
"do you think you can take care of yourself?"
oh, a challenge then.
"i can."
"what is the first thing you'll do when given that jurisdiction?"
satan pauses as he tries to think of some elaborate rules, one that would surely make his older brother's life miserable. perhaps he would let cats in the house, or enchant his books to—
"you would let cats inside the house, won't you?"
and there it is, the smug shit-eating grin on lucifer's face. satan hates it that lucifer knows his first move already, and he blushes.
the avatar of pride moves towards the door, and satan can sense the pride radiating from the demon, but this time it's welcome.
his gaze falls on the empty tray.
satan smiles.
but as the sound of footsteps fade away, something comes in satan's mind, and he nearly breaks open the door while running out and into the hallway.
there's a crowd near the bathroom. satan winces when he hears the cacophony of curses.
"why are you here?"
"i hope you're here to make amends."
"why were you cooped up in your room all day?"
the brothers are in their demon forms, because lucifer was in his too, and satan rushes forward.
"where were you?" asmodeus questions when he sees satan approach. but the demon i relaxed, and his eyes tell asmo everything he needs to know.
satan is the only one whose not gawking at lucifer. instead, standing alongside him.
"i've come to make amends, just like the rest of you."
everyone's jaws seem to have fallen on the floor in that moment, because the avatar of pride isn't the one to apologise so easily. but, here he is.
"so, get out everyone."
when his red-faced brothers rush out, red in the face due to the masks or due to disbelief, lucifer sighs, but not before giving belphegor a firm pat on the back.
the latter stares at him in shock and confusion, and satan has to pull away belphegor, whose still bewildered as ever.
but, when he stands outside mammon's door, he feels the urge to go back into his room and drown himself in demonus. but lucifer remembers satan's words, and adjusts his shirt, before opening the door.
mammon's head perks up instantly as he puts down the switch, already speaking the words, not seeing the demon at the door.
"levi! i can't pass this level! what did you do to—"
he goes silent when he sees whose there at the door.
"oh hey, lucifer. the others are in the bathroom, asmo's making them put on facemasks. you can find them there—"
"i need to talk."
lucifer wants to bang his head into the wall, because he has come here to apologize, dammit! and not sound like he's about to dish out a punishment!
"uh..no i'm good!" and with that, mammon jumps out of bed, and lucifer rushes after him. "mammon, that's not what i meant! mammon—mams."
mammon stops in his tracks when he hears that nickname. that name hadn't been taken since....since their fall.
lucifer slowly walks towards mammon, whose still staring at him in disbelief. "i've come to apologise."
mammon slips past lucifer at an inhumane speed, and the demon grits his teeth in frustration. this isn't how it is supposed to go! maybe satan was right, when he said that his care was ruining his family, lucifer thinks when he sees mammon hidden under the bed covers.
as childish as it is, mammon is trembling under the blanket, and lucifer wants nothing more than to reach out and comfort him.
but mammon slinks further back into the covers the more lucifer grows close.
he feels helpless.
"it must be strange, seeing me apologising, won't it?" lucifer chuckles sadly as he sits down on the edge of the bed, and when mammon doesn't attempt to get away lucifer sighs in relief.
"it's alright."
"huh?"
"you don't have to apologize to me. i was the one that stayed out late, and that's very scummy of me, i know—"
"idiot. moron. scumbag. you are none of that, mammon." lucifer cuts him midway, and his heart feels heavy with guilt. he was the one that started with the insults, and mammon took them to heart.
it's all his fault.
and now he must make reparations.
mammon has stopped trembling, and now sits silent under the blanket. his posture awfully resembles the same as today morning's. lucifer's gaze is laced with guilt.
"you are mammon, avatar of greed. my brother, one whom i adore the most." mammon's shifting under the covers stops.
for a moment there's silence, the only noise being the ticking of the clock. lucifer swallows harshly, for the more he speaks, the more the lump in his throat refuses to go down.
"never once did i regret taking you under my care. i—i find you adorable." moments when he and mammon spent time together in the celestial realm, under its eternal sun come flashing through his mind.
but when he looks outside the window he sees the moon. the devildom.
they are in the devildom now. lilith's gone and his family is being torn apart by his own doings, his own words.
"you spoke quite harshly back then."
mammon shifts under the covers as he adjusts his position. "you were quite direct with your feelings, borderline rude, but that's what i like about you."
is lucifer the same now? does mammon still like him?
"you were such a troublemaker back then. you are still the same." the dark-haired demon speaks, breaking into a soft laugh at the end.
but then he remembers the reason why he was so harsh towards mammon in his punishments, and he chokes.
"i'm afraid, mammon."
the demon under the covers freezes.
"afraid of what?"
"i'm afraid that you will be taken away from me. this isn't the celestial realm anymore, mammon. this is the devildom. your antics will have severe consequences here."
lucifer doesn't mention how severe. because even he doesn't know.
what if, one day, diavolo finally snaps?
throw mammon into the dungeons?
kills him?
all because he attempted to steal from the demon lord's treasury? as his sin commands him to?
the very thought makes lucifer shiver. but he says nothing, doesn't voice the storm brewing in his mind. he silently traces patterns on mammon's hand that hasn't been covered by the blanket.
"you adore your brothers. even more than me sometimes." he clears his throat as he traces a heart on mammon's skin. "i know it was belphegor who broke the vase. but you took the blame."
he can feel mammon blush under the covers.
"so you knew.."
"yes." the white-haired demon blushes in embarrassment when he realizes his older brother knew all along, and the demon sitting on the edge of the bed smiles in adoration.
"mammon?"
"you don't need to call my name every time you speak, you know? i know your talking to me, 'cause you aren't the type to hold conversations with yourself or furniture—"
"i don't regret that you lived, mammon."
the words slipping past his lips almost feel like stones at this point, and lucifer freezes when his voice cracks at the end. but he collects himself, and resumes tracing patterns on mammon's hand, which froze in its movements.
"i don't know what i would have done without you. you were the one who took care of us when we fell, took care of satan, took care of belpehegor. you are our pillar."
there's a pressure on his hand, and when lucifer looks down he sees that mammon is holding his hand tightly.
lucifer chokes back a sob.
"you were the one who told me to be full of myself because—"
"because we all rely on your strength and you, so act be so proud that others think you're full of yourself." mammon completes his sentence for him, and his tone is that of an embarrassed one.
those words were spoken eons ago, and yet their impact can be felt even today.
"but i wonder, mammon, if i am the same reliable brother from all those years ago? do you only fear me?"
mammon holds lucifer's hand tighter.
"look, you're scary, that much is true." lucifer's stomach sinks. "but you're also the most reliable. you're still the lucifer who combed my messy hair when i strode into your office when i needed anything."
for the first time, he doesn't know what to speak. all he knows is that his brother still sees him the same he did all those years ago. but lucifer doesn't see himself the way his brothers do.
"i want you to know something." mammon holds his hand tighter as a response.
"i blame myself for lilith's death."
lucifer can feel the atmosphere shift in the room. his chest feels inexplicably tight, and his shoulders heavy.
yet, he perseveres, just like how he always did. even if he was covered with scars.
the grip on his hand loosens and he chokes back a sob at the action. "i—i was the one that started the rebellion, and you joined me. you trusted me. and look, look where i led you all."
he doesn't realise his voice is shaking, or that he's trembling badly. lucifer wants to cry out loud, but his mind doesn't let him.
"i'm sorry for failing you, mammon."
the world suddenly turns dark, and the demon has to blink away the tears to see clearly. mammon has draped the blanket over him too, and now his face is squished against his younger brother's chest.
mammon's heartbeat is loud.
"what happened has happened. you—you never failed me, or any of us, for that matter." his voice wavers, but he continues. "you're still you. we don't regret following you, what you did was right."
his hands come to rub soothing circles on the demon's back, and lucifer sighs in relief.
"you're my favourite." mammon confesses, and suddenly he feels embarrassed. but lucifer hugs him tighter.
"you're my favourite too."
their relations have tangled a bit, but the threads are strong as ever, and they won't break so easily.
mammon smiles when he feels lucifer's breathing go shallow, and he smiles sleepily.
this is home. no matter how much the brothers fight, their relations are made of unbreakable threads that might tangle and twist, but not break so easily.
a rowdy home, lucifer adds, because the sheets have been torn off and now two very grumpy brothers stare into the eyes of the other five brothers, who look equally startled.
and then, a scream is heard.
"you're too heavy!"
"your foot is on my face!"
"my back will break!"
after everyone has settled down after receiving their share of kicks, lucifer speaks. "we're ordering in tonight."
a cacophony of cheers can be heard.