Maybe he was getting ahead of himself, but Chanyeol had a good feeling that he and Baekhyun were on good terms after apologizing to him. He hadn't brought up anything about his death since and the ghost seemed to appreciate it, in turn keeping the volume down when Chanyeol was working or sleeping. In celebration, he decided to go over to Mr. Kim's house to tell him about it.
His neighbor was up on a ladder, hanging paper Jack-O-Lanterns along the roof when Chanyeol stepped onto the lawn. "Good morning, Mr. Kim."
The old man glanced over his shoulder, but couldn't move around much while so high up in the air. Instead of waving, he nodded. "What can I do for you today, Chanyeol?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to update you on Baekhyun." He made himself comfortable in the rocking chair and kicked his feet up on the porch railing. "So, he had a little freak out last night, and I'm sure you heard all the ruckus."
"Oh? So, that's what all that noise was?" He chuckled.
"Yeah. Anyway, I decided to try and be nice to Baekhyun since he was distraught and I apologized for upsetting him, so he's been kind of nice to me in return."
"Well, that's good to hear."
"You know," He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I thought about what you said - how we should be respectful to ghosts and all. I kind of feel bad for pestering him about his death, but at the same time I want to get him justice."
"Justice?" The hand holding a hammer stalled. Mr. Kim looked down at the porch with his brows furrowed.
"Yeah. I'm convinced he was murdered, and it's sad to think he had his life stripped away at such a young age. I need to know who killed him, but I can't keep asking him about it."
"How do you know he was murdered?" Mr. Kim asked in a low voice. He hadn't resumed hammering yet.
"Me and Kyungsoo found bloody weapons and clothes hidden away in the guest room. Baekhyun was really bothered by them too, which probably means those were the weapons that killed him. It was a saw, crowbar, and chain, so I don't even want to know what they did to his body." He shivered.
Slowly, Mr. Kim climbed down from the ladder to put his tools away. "Well, good luck with that."
"Mr. Kim." He stood up. "I know you said you wouldn't tell me how he died, but you can still tell me who was involved. All I need are names, then I can handle the rest."
"I don't have names."
"Liar."
His head perked up. "Excuse me?"
"Sir, I know you're lying. I can see it on your face. Was it Ms. Bae? Mr. Suho? Were you involved?"
"Chanyeol..."
"You can't keep covering for people. This poor young man was potentially brutally murdered by someone in this very neighborhood, and you're not going to give me any names?"
Mr. Kim went quiet for a moment, as if he considered talking. For a second, Chanyeol's eyes glimmered with hope and he thought for sure the old man would at least give him a clue. But, he didn't. He sighed and shrugged and went back to work on his Halloween decorations.
"I'm sorry, but I can't help you."
Chanyeol watched as he went back inside to hang streamers. He stood his ground, anchoring himself on the porch with his arms crossed. "You're really going to let criminals get away with this?!" He shouted through the screen door.
Mr. Kim ignored him. He set up a step ladder in the living room and hung steamers over the fireplace.
"Look, I didn't know Baekhyun when he was alive; I wasn't even born. But, I can tell that he was a good person and he had a good life to live. Somebody took that away from him, and now you're going to defend them instead of the victim?"
"You don't know anything, Chanyeol." He called back. "You don't even know for sure if he was murdered."
"There's no other explanation." He groaned, throwing his hands up. "You all know something! You, Mr. Suho, Ms. Bae! But, you'd rather let an innocent soul rot in that old house he died in then tell me who was involved and set him free! You're selfish, Mr. Kim! And if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're guilty too!"
"Go home!" Mr. Kim raised his voice louder than he ever had before. Taken aback, Chanyeol bit his tongue.
"Go home already, Chanyeol! You won't get any answers from me."
"But, you're the one who told me how to get rid of him! You told me murder victims need justice, and now you won't even help me!"
"That was just to keep you preoccupied. I knew you wouldn't be able to help him. You're going to move out after Halloween anyway, so you'll forget about this whole thing in a month."
Chanyeol clenched his fists at his sides. His jaw tightened. Mr. Kim was always so nice to him and out of all his neighbors, Chanyeol liked him most. He never expected to be standing at his front door, wishing to sock an old man in the face, and all over one annoying ghost.
"You can't do anything for him." Mr. Kim continued. "Everyone involved or even the slightest bit associated with his death is either dead or crazy. He is going to suffer for as long as that house stands, and when they tear it down, he'll sit atop the rubble and suffer more. It's hopeless. When are you going to realize that?"
Chanyeol swallowed his anger and unclenched his fists. "You never wanted to help him. You just wanted to get me off your back by giving me that paper when you knew it wouldn't work. Is the paper even real? Or, is that all a lie too?"
"It's all real, but it can't do anything for Baekhyun. It's too late for him."
Chanyeol didn't argue anymore. He wasn't going to give up, but he also wasn't going to put up with all of his neighbors lying and discouraging him from finding the truth. After seeing the pain in Baekhyun's eyes when he saw those weapons, it motivated him to free his soul. Get him out of that damn house and lay him to rest. Sure, he still wanted him gone because he annoyed the shit out of him at times, but Baekhyun deserved more than that. He deserved closure.
👻👻👻
Baekhyun was sitting on Chanyeol's bed with his phone floating in front of his face when he returned home. Chanyeol threw the door open and stormed into the closet to hang his jacket up, catching the ghost's attention.
"Hey. Where were you?"
"Visiting with Mr. Kim." He mumbled.
"By the way, Kyungsoo called while you were out. I was gonna answer, but then I remembered he can't hear me and it would've been super awkward and he'd think it's you being a weirdo and I just didn't want to embarrass you like that-"
Chanyeol snatched his phone out of the air. A notification indeed confirmed Kyungsoo called, but it went unanswered. He swiped it away, then flopped down on his bed and buried his face in the pillow.
Baekhyun drifted his merry way over to him and laid down on his stomach, kicking his feet back and forth. "So...are you going to call him back, Loverboy?"
Chanyeol snorted.
"What? You're never going to get anywhere with him if you don't make some moves. I am an expert on relationships, so don't worry my friend. You are in great hands."
Sighing, Chanyeol flipped himself over to look Baekhyun in the eyes. "This is different. You wouldn't understand."
He narrowed his eyes. "How so? I know all there is to know about love. You know, I dated a lot when I was your age."
"Because, this isn't some girl I can ask out and everything will be normal. This is a boy. Not to mention, a long time friend."
"Ah," He sat up and folded his legs under himself. "Still in the closet? I didn't know people still did that these days."
"You're so ignorant."
"Feel free to educate me."
He shot up into a sitting position. "Fine. Things are much different these days than they were in your days, but that doesn't mean I can go around and flaunt it and not get judged. I just...don't want to take the risk."
"That's what I'm here for; to help you metamorphosize into a confident butterfly. It's all about the confidence, baby."
"Your love advice is probably outdated anyway."
He gasped, slapping a hand down on his chest for dramatic effect. "Love is timeless. I know more than you give me credit for. Now, get up. We need to give you a little confidence boost." To get Chanyeol off of his ass, he levitated a pencil from the desk and poked him in the arm until he got to his feet.
Chanyeol swatted the pencil away, his frown stretching further downward. "Baekhyun, I'm not in the mood for whatever you have in mind."
"Hey, if anyone should be in a bad mood, it's me. However, I'm willing to move on from what happened yesterday and take you out for a little fun." He extended his hand out, as if Chanyeol could take it. "Whatda say?"
"You're offly quick to forgive people."
"I don't like holding grudges. It's bad for the soul." He floated towards the door, but Chanyeol wasn't so quick to follow. It got him thinking; grudges would keep a ghost trapped in the spirit realm, especially a murder victim. That was the whole reason they were ghosts, right? They needed justice because they couldn't forgive the killer.
"So, what gives?" Chanyeol said aloud. Baekhyun looked back with an eyebrow raised, only to realize he was talking to himself.
"You coming or what?"
Snapping back to reality, Chanyeol realized Baekhyun was waiting for him. "Where exactly are we going?"
"Why, the one place where a teenager can be a teenager, of course."
"And that would be...?"
He chuckled. "The mall, silly."
👻👻👻
Chanyeol really didn't know how Baekhyun talked him into going. After all, he had school work to do, Spookfest activities to plan, and a mess to clean from the night before. But, with the words of Mr. Kim spoiling his mood, it would do him some good to get out and away from the house. Baekhyun needed it too. He'd spent most of his time in the closet after the weapon incident and Chanyeol hadn't seen him as his normal energetic self since. Though he did not enjoy being dragged in every possible direction, it was nice to see him forgive and forget so quickly.
"Oh my god. This is where we need to be." Baekhyun stopped in front of an outlet store Chanyeol knew all too well and avoided at all costs.
"Hell no. I am not going in there."
"Are you kidding? This place is perfect!"
"It's also humiliating."
"I didn't even know they had stores like this. Certainly didn't exist back in my day." He flew ahead to enter the most colorful store either had ever seen.
It was a pride store, and yes, apparently that was a thing in their town. Rainbows and glitter covered every inch of the store, bizarre outfits complimented the mannequins, and there was a vibrant collection of characters browsing the aisles. Chanyeol nearly went blind from staring at the neon jumpsuits on display in the front windows, and stepping inside completely obliterated his retinas.
Meanwhile, Baekhyun couldn't get enough of it. He was flying through all of the clothes, tossing outfits into Chanyeol's arms that looked more like costumes than everyday fits. The other customers watched with curiosity, watching clothes fly at him from an invisible force.
"Why the hell are we here of all places?" Chanyeol hissed, before Baekhyun threw a rainbow scarf on his head.
"Because, this is where the gays go to find themselves."
"No, they don't. This is where kids buy unicorn outfits."
Baekhyun scoffed. "Then, I guess kids who dress up as unicorns are gay. Now, go try these on. You better let me see them, or I'm invading your dressing room."
Reluctantly, Chanyeol hauled his mountain of clothes into a spare dressing room. He heard a lesbian couple next door trying on Halloween costumes, both laughing at the absurdity of the store. It seemed Halloween was the only time gays shopped for anything more than a pair of rose colored glasses at that damn store.
"Do you have your outfit on yet?" Baekhyun shouted from behind the door.
"If you think I'm stepping out there in this, you're dead wrong."
"Hey, watch your words." He rattled the door. "Come on, let me see. If you want to be confident, you have to walk out of there like nobody's watching."
"There better be no one watching." He mumbled as he cracked the door open a bit and stuck his head out. In the blink of an eye, Baekhyun yanked the door fully open and forced Chanyeol into the center of the room.
He stood with a rainbow onesie on full display, equipped with pink cat ears, star shaped sunglasses, and a feathery purple boa.
"This...is the worst outfit I've ever laid eyes on."
"Chanyeol! You look adorable!"
He never cringed so hard in his life.
"Oh, I wish I could take a picture of you right now. What do you think? Pretty swag?"
"Far from it."
"What's wrong with it?"
Chanyeol couldn't help but burst out laughing. Where to even begin? He looked like a clown for starters, and the people snickering and staring seemed to agree. For a pride store, there was nothing worth being proud of in it.
"Baekhyun, I don't see the point of this." He confessed as he pulled the itchy boa off.
"What do you mean? You're still in the closet, so let's get you out of it. And what better way to do that than to dress like a true gay?"
"There's no such thing as a true gay, but there is a such thing as an idiot, and that's what I look like right now."
Baekhyun's smile quickly dropped into a frown. "I'm trying to help."
"And I appreciate that, but you've got it all wrong. Wearing rainbows and ridiculous outfits isn't for me. It doesn't make me want to come out; it makes me want to get a bigger closet."
"To fit all of these amazing clothes in?"
He sighed. "It amazes me how fast you can give me a headache."
They returned all of the clothes and went to the food court for some sandwiches. To make sure he didn't look like a crazy person talking to himself, Chanyeol put in one earbud to appear as if he were talking on the phone. In reality, Baekhyun was sitting across from him, blabbering on about how disappointed he was that they didn't at least buy the onesie while Chanyeol tried not to blow his top.
"You need to communicate with me better, Park. I need to understand what you're looking for."
"I'm looking for you to hush for a few minutes."
"I don't get it." Baekhyun slouched in his seat with a pout. "I thought you would like this. I thought you were finally going to break out of your shell and embrace who you are."
"This isn't who I am. I told you your advice is outdated."
A sliver of determination flickered in Baekhyun's eyes. He sat up again, reaching over the table to slap Chanyeol's sandwich away. "Tell me all I need to know, then. I don't like being so out of touch with what's hip these days."
"Alright, old man. You can start by never saying swag or hip again. It sounds uncool out of your mouth."
Baekhyun scowled. "Be serious."
"What do you want me to say? Dressing up in rainbows isn't going to help me understand my feelings for Kyungsoo."
"What's there not to understand? If you like him, then go for it. That's what I always did."
Chanyeol squinted, examining Baekhyun for a moment. "You? You, Byun Baekhyun, were a romantic and actually went out with people?"
"Is that so hard to believe? I'm a very outgoing person."
"Who did you date, then? I doubt it lasted for very long."
"Actually," Baekhyun scoffed matter-of-factly. "I had a long term relationship with someone. Seven years to be exact."
"And then what? She dumped you?"
"I died." His face softened into a look of sorrow. "But, I'm sure it would have lasted longer had I not...for you information."
Chanyeol looked down at his sandwich to pick at the lettuce. He didn't know what else to say. Baekhyun must've sensed the air shift, and cleared his throat to diminish the tension.
"Anyway, I'd say I'm somewhat of a professional."
"But, this is different. This isn't some girl I can ask and be normal about it. This is a boy. Not to mention, a long time friend."
"What's the big deal? Homophobia's not really a thing anymore, is it?"
Chanyeol scoffed as he plucked a piece of lettuce. "Yeah, sure."
"Can't be as bad as it was in my day. You should know this; you're doing a project on this topic."
"Just because it's better doesn't mean it's perfect. I don't want to risk ridicule and I don't want to risk ruining my friendship with Kyungsoo. So, I'm just going to ignore it and move on."
"Bullshit." Baekhyun stood up suddenly. His chair flew back a bit, startling the people sitting around them. "All those people you've been doing your research on fought for equality or whatever, right?"
"I guess."
"And, now you're going to waste this luxury because you're scared? How would all those people who couldn't come out because it was illegal react when they see this privileged little boy in the closet because he's choosing to?"
"Are...you trying to guilt trip me into coming out when I'm not ready to?"
He threw his hands up. "Call it what you want, but I think you need to check your privilege, young man."
"How is potentially being bullied for coming out a privilege?"
"At least it isn't arrest or death. Consider yourself lucky, Loverboy."
"You know what? I don't know why I'm listening to a straight guy from the sixties try and preach gay acceptance to me." Grabbing a takeout box, he packed up his lunch and started towards another outlet store to shop at. If he was at the mall, he might as well buy some clothes, but there was no way in hell he would be stepping into that pride store again.
"I think I'm making some pretty valid points here." Baekhyun continued.
"You don't know what it's like to be in the closet - metaphorically at least. So, you don't get to tell me how I should feel about coming out."
"I just don't understand why you wouldn't embrace it when you have so much freedom to. Things are so much different now. It's crazy to think people can just announce they're gay at the top of their lungs and only have to deal with minor inconveniences."
"Gee, I didn't know prejudice was considered a minor inconvenience. You really are out of touch, Baekhyun."
The ghost groaned, his eyes rolling up to the ceiling. "Okay, so there are still assholes out there who might give you a hard time. But, is that so bad? Considering how things used to be based on everything you've learned from your project, you'd think being gay in this day and age is a blessing."
"That's not the point!" There it goes; his top blew off and whistle from the steam blowing out of his ears was enough to turn some heads. Fortunately, he still had an earbud in his ear. They must've thought he was having a very heated conversation over the phone.
"You are so stuck in the past, you don't see the problem! I get that I have things easier than people in the past did, but that doesn't mean I have nothing to worry about! Everything's just going to be fine and dandy for me and I have no reason not to be a little uncomfortable coming out? No!"
"I don't think it's very fair to the people who fought for those rights. I'm assuming it wasn't easy to earn all of these opportunities for future generations such as yourself. If I were one of them, I think I'd be pretty annoyed right now."
"Oh my god, I'm done having this conversation with you. You of all people are never going to understand, so stay out of my business and let me deal with it." He stormed off into a men's clothing store, where they sold actual outfits and not circus uniforms.
👻👻👻
Chanyeol returned home with a new pair of jeans. He flung them onto his bed, then dropped into his swivel chair to get started on his history project. All this talk about gay rights made him realize that he didn't have as much done as he should've. The essay was complete, but he hadn't even touched the slideshow and merely glazed over the outline for his speech.
But, when was there not a distraction to stop him from doing his work? Just as he opened his laptop, his phone buzzed. Kyungsoo called again. Chanyeol forgot he was supposed to call him back.
"Hey." He said when the video call started. Kyungsoo was onscreen, apparently still in bed and wearing his pajamas. He had a bag of pretzels in his lap and those big, adorable glasses on.
"Hey, Chanyeol. I called this morning. What were you up to?"
"Talking to Mr. Kim."
"About Baekhyun?"
He sighed. "Yeah."
"How is he, by the way? I take it he was really upset last night."
"He's back to being annoying already." Chanyeol glanced up to see Baekhyun screwing around with some old toys abandoned in his closet. "It's weird how fast he forgives people."
"I doubt he forgave the psycho who killed him."
"Actually, I've been thinking." He leaned in to whisper. "I don't think Baekhyun's stuck in the spirit realm because his murderer hasn't gotten justice."
"Are you saying you don't think he was murdered?"
"No, I still think that's the cause of death. It makes the most sense and all evidence so far points to that, but...he's just not the type to hold a grudge."
"Maybe not against you, but this is a killer we're talking about. He lost his life. I don't care how forgiving he seems; I doubt he'd let this one go."
It still didn't sit right with him. Something about Baekhyun didn't give off the vengeful type, even in a situation as serious as murder. But, that would be the only reason his soul wouldn't be able to carry over. He had to be holding onto something. What else would a murder victim hang onto besides vengence?
"I don't know. I've got a weird feeling about this. Holding onto a grudge would make someone bitter; make them want revenge. Baekhyun just...sits around and plays with things all day. He's always so chill and usually in a good mood. You wouldn't expect that from someone hellbent on making his killer pay."
"Maybe he's just a good liar. Obviously, there's a lot about him we don't know." Kyungsoo pointed out. "A ghost can't be that happy if their soul is trapped and they have yet to find closure for their death."
"I guess." Looking at Baekhyun again, he saw the ghost dancing around with a big goofy smile on his face and blaring old people music on the Bluetooth speaker. All carefree and lost in his own world and as eccentric as ever. Baekhyun was such an anomaly; with those awkward round glasses and the mop of brown hair on his head and that damn colorful sweater was such a bold statement. He seemed like the kid that got bullied in school for being a nerd, but also the coolest guy you'd ever meet. He was boisterous and wild and downright weird, and Chanyeol couldn't put a finger on who this guy was.
He certainly didn't give off the look of a star soccer player or a ladies man. But, Chanyeol had no doubt he was as confident in love as he claimed. He was charming, but annoying. Cute, but with a bizarre sense of fashion. A geek, but with the personality of the school's golden boy. Short, but larger than life. A bit dull in the head, but sharp in the tongue. Sweet, but sour when he pouted. Ditsy, but bold.
Byun Baekhyun was...something else, to say the least. But, if there was one thing Chanyeol could say with confidence, it was that the ghost knew exactly who he was and embraced it. Confidence truly was his most charming attribute. It must help to know no one else could see him act like a buffoon.
"Anyway, how have you been?" Chanyeol said, turning back to the camera. The few minutes that passed lost in thought, Kyungsoo got up with his phone and went down to the kitchen to whip up some yogurt.
"I'm good. I've been in bed, working on my slideshow all day. There's a lot to say about nineteen sixties feminism."
"I'm sure. Gay rights has also been a buzzing topic for me."
"Have you started on your speech? Maybe we could practice out loud with each other."
Chanyeol really didn't want to mention that he had an outline ready, but there was no denying he needed the practice. What better person to practice with than the smartest guy he knew anyway? Kyungsoo would take it easy on him if it was bad; somewhat, at least.
"Alright, I guess I'll read what I've got so far." He cleared his throat. "LGBTQ rights are still a hot topic in our current lives, but how do recent issues compare to that of the nineteen sixties?" He stopped, setting his paper down.
"That's it?"
"Uh, yeah. I kinda just wrote it, like, ten minutes ago." He furtively crumpled the paper, seeing the look of disgust on Kyungsoo's face. "I had more this morning, but talking with Baekhyun got me thinking and I decided to rewrite."
"What did Baekhyun have to say?"
"Just a bunch of bullshit, but it inspired me to focus more on the comparison between the community today versus back then. Straight people from the sixties really don't know anything."
"I can't imagine they would. I'm guessing Baekhyun needs a little crash course."
"I don't think he'd sit long enough to listen to one."
Perfect timing, Baekhyun floated over to the desk to read Chanyeol's work while humming to himself. "I heard you mention my name." He said mindlessly as he scrolled through the blank slideshow.
"Yeah, we were just talking about how ignorant straight people are."
"How very homophobic of you."
"Oh please. You wouldn't know what it's like to deal with homophobia if it stared you right in the face."
"Hey, I lived during the sixties. I saw what they did to gay people all the time."
"But, you never experienced it, dipshit. Stop trying to act like you know more about their struggles than actual gay people do."
"Careful what you say. You are still on camera."
Chanyeol's heart dropped into his stomach when he turned back to the phone. Kyungsoo didn't seem to be paying attention. He was back in his room with his yogurt, sticking a spoon in his mouth while typing away at his computer. When he heard Chanyeol stop talking to seemingly no one, he looked up.
"What do you think about my color scheme for the slideshow? Is it too stereotypical to make it pink, or do you think it's more empowering for women to embrace the color?"
"I...uh...I..." He struggled to regain himself, throwing papers around and trying to organize his workspace again while Baekhyun lurked behind him. "I think it's cute. It's pretty. It's...I don't know...it's girly."
"Yeah, but is that a good thing? Maybe I should consult actual women. The whole point of picking this topic was to give more attention to female opinions. I think it's vital we focus on the history of females too, you know? I grew up in a predominately female household, so it's important to me that I do this right. This is a meaningful topic to me."
Chanyeol was only half listening. Baekhyun stole his outline and he was trying to snatch it back without drawing too much attention while Kyungsoo was ranting. From the looks of it, he was oblivious to the scuffle unfolding on screen. He was far too invested in his project, obsessing over the color of his slide.
"You understand how it feels to try and do the best job on a topic that's really important to you. I'm sure gay rights means something to you in some way."
"Uh...sure..."
"You mind if I ask why?"
"Why what?" He finally got the paper back and faced the camera again. Kyungsoo wasn't looking, staring at his laptop instead. However, he was still fully attentive to the conversation; something Chanyeol was failing at.
"Why gay rights is an important topic to you."
"Oh! Well..."
He turned to Baekhyun, who raised an eyebrow and mouthed the words "go on". Inwardly groaning, Chanyeol forced a casual smile on his face.
"You know, because...my, uh, my uncle. He's gay."
"Really? I never knew that."
Chanyeol heard Baekhyun laughing to himself. "Yeah. It never came up in conversation, so I never mentioned it. He's actually getting married with his boyfriend in...May."
"Wow. Good for him. I think it's really cool that you did this topic for him. If you see him any time soon, tell him I said congrats."
"Sure thing." He cringed so hard to himself, his face felt as wrinkled as a raisin. Baekhyun sat down on the edge of the desk and sighed.
"How embarrassing was that? All you had to do was tell him the truth. He's your best friend, right? You should be comfortable telling him at least."
"I don't want him getting suspicious."
"You mean your uncle?" Kyungsoo asked.
"What? No. I was...I was talking to Baekhyun."
"Oh."
"You see all of this miscommunication? If only you trusted your best friend to be a decent human being and not judge you or make you feel shitty for just being yourself."
"Can you shut up? I'm not telling him anything."
"You're still talking to Baekhyun, right?"
"I think that's a really good point I just made, if I do say so myself."
"No. Yes. I mean-" He groaned. "Yes, I'm still talking to Baekhyun, but I don't want to be. So, go away."
"Baekhyun?"
"Yes!" He chucked a paper weight at the ghost's head, but it only phased through him. "Baekhyun, get away from me. Kyungsoo, I'm sorry for the confusion."
"You seem a little preoccupied. I should go anyway; I need to focus on this project." He collected himself and reached for the red button to end the call.
"Okay. See you at school." He hung up the phone at lightning speed. Once the camera was off, he fell back in his chair and pressed his fingers into his temples. "Congrats, Baekhyun. You've officially given me a headache."
"Honestly, you did this to yourself. All you had to do was tell him-"
"Hush." He growled. "Shut up and leave already. I have a speech to write about gays and I'm not about to let some bigoted straight drive me insane all day, thank you very much."