Walking into the home I share with my husband oddly enough feels unfamiliar and distant. It's no surprise to me when I see that dishes have been left in the sink and there are some jackets strung about the entranceway. Out of habit, I almost pick them up until Jimin places his hand on my shoulder and gently smiles down at me. He's right, this isn't my responsibility.
I was happy to notice that Cameron wasn't home and therefore asked Jimin to come inside to help. He did look pretty apprehensive at first but I assured him that it would be fine. I'll be packing a couple of more bags so that I don't have to do this again or at least for some time. If my husband and I truly end up getting a divorce, most of everything else I will leave behind can go into the pits of hell for all I care.
Jimin glances around at pictures and artwork on the walls, intrigued by my life before I moved in with him. He asks me curious questions regarding some things in the house including a really antique-looking lamp and smiles brightly at my framed diploma that I take down and carefully place into the bottom of my suitcase. I worked really hard for that, I'm not leaving it behind to possibly become ruined out of spite. I know how intense Cameron's temper can sometimes be.
Reaching the top of my closet for me, Jimin pulls down a bunch of different shoes to pack into one of the suitcases while I throw in as many clothes and random items as I can into the other. I'd like to get out of here as soon as possible. Just these four walls bring back every argument, lonely night, and doubt I had ever felt, but I must have begun to look a bit too uneasy when Jimin takes hold of my hand to force me to a moment to look at him.
"Hey," he softly says, "I'm here for you, okay?"
Nodding, I smile at his kind gesture to remind me that I'm not going through this completely alone. "Okay."
The sound of the front door opening in the other room causes both of our eyes to widen as we remain standing in the middle of the walk-in closet. Tossing the last item into my bag, I quietly zip it up and peek out of the door.
"He's going into the den," I whisper when I hear the familiar sound of that creaky wooden door.
Picking my suitcases up for me, he steps out of the security of the enclosed space. "Should I be prepared to fight?" he smirks and I roll my eyes with a silent chuckle.
Walking towards the front door, I pause and look back at Jimin for a moment before I slump my shoulders. My conscience is getting the best of me and even though he may not be the fucking husband of the year or even for the past five years, I know how much it would still hurt to suddenly realize all of my spouse's things have been taken without even so much as a heads up.
"I'm going to tell him I was here and that I got my things," I state as I look towards the closed door of the den. "Just wait for me here, okay?"
He nods with a knitted brow, obviously worried that my husband and I could end up in another bad argument and I'm honestly bracing myself for the same possible outcome. Walking down the hallway, I take a deep breath as my heart begins to rapidly pound in my chest. Not only am I sick of the arguing but the fact that I grabbed the rest of my things is stating that I'm still not ready to come back. I need more time to think for myself and trust that he'd be willing to work on this marriage with me.
Upon opening the door, my jaw drops as I gasp and my eyes widen when I immediately realize that my husband is not alone...
...nor is he with a woman.
"Cameron?" I question and watch as he jumps at the sound of my voice and the unfamiliar man currently giving him oral sex pulls away as he quickly scrambles to his feet. "What the fuck?!"
"Mia!" He stumbles as he tucks himself back into his pants and zips up his slacks, leaving his belt hanging open. "I... uh... this is..."
Holding my hands up, I shake my head. "I can't believe you. Yes, we've had our issues but this?" I gesture to the two of them, "In our home?! You couldn't have had the fucking decency to wait until we at least officially separated or divorced?" Cameron attempts to grab onto my wrist with wide, pleading eyes but I yank away from him. "Not to mention, did you ever think you should possibly tell your fucking wife that you're gay?"
"I think I'm bisexual. I still find women sexually attractive, I've always found you attractive," he does his best to save the situation but my world is so flipped right now that I can't even have this conversation right now.
I bat my lashes in shock and take a step back when he tries to walk up to me. My eyes flit to the young man awkwardly standing in the corner and my brows come together as I peek around at him. "Did you know that he was married?"
Shaking his head as he stares at the ground, he slowly raises his line of vision to meet my gaze again. "No, he never mentioned he was married. To be honest, I assumed he only liked men since he had left the bar with others in the past."
My shoulders slump as I look up at the man I thought I knew, the one I'm legally bound to. "There were others?" My voice breaks as stubborn tears roll down my heated cheeks.
"Nothing ever happened with them. We only talked and went to different bars. This is my first experience with a man," Cameron explains.
"And that's supposed to make it better? And this poor guy you brought here, completely unaware of everything... Cameron, I can't fucking believe you," I breathe out. Taking a couple of steps backward, I get ready to leave this tainted home and the man I had vowed to love for the rest of my life. He grabs my arm out of desperation and I attempt to pull away, stumbling a bit and bumping into a side table causing the lamp to fall and break, "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!"
The door to the den flies open and all of us turn in that direction to see Jimin worriedly looking me over before his eyes land on Cameron's hand still tightly gripped onto my bicep. Briskly walking up to him, he pushes my husband hard enough to make him lose his grip on me. "She said to not fucking touch her."
"Who the fuck are you?!" Cameron yells as he steps up to Jimin who had protectively placed me behind him.
"Jimin, let's just go," I state but I don't think he can even hear me as he keeps his intense gaze on the angered man staring back at him.
"Oh, so you're the Jimin she's talked about," Cameron smirks as he looks him up and down. "So, Mia, you want to be a hypocrite about catching me cheating and you've been cheating on me, too?"
"She never fucking cheated on you, you piece of shit," Jimin defends me and while I appreciate him having my back, I can also speak for myself.
"I was honest with you from the start, Cameron. I told you every time I was out with Jimin and what we were doing. I never even kissed another man. Obviously, you can't say the same." I quirk a brow at my obvious dig about his secret affairs and sexual desires. "But whatever happens now is no longer any of your concern. We are done."
"Mia, wait. Let's go to counseling or something," Cameron implores as his eyes soften and his breath quickens. "I told you that I was going through some things but let's not end it like this. I'm sorry, Mia. I never intended to hurt you."
"Counseling? Now you want to go to counseling? After all of those times that I had suggested it and you literally laughed in my face at the thought, now you want to go to counseling? Are you sorry you hurt me or are you sorry because you got caught?" Shaking my head in utter disappointment, my heart only begins to calm when Jimin's hand grabs onto mine. "My lawyer will be in touch."
Pulling Jimin away towards the front door, I ignore the yelling and begging coming from behind us as we stop while Jimin helps me gather my things. I do my best to keep myself together, trying to push aside the fact that my hands are trembling so bad that I can't even properly grip onto my bag's handle. Noticing the fact that I'm struggling, Jimin takes the bag from me and I look up to him with clouded vision as the tears well up in my eyes. He nods for me to continue walking, helping me find strength within me that I didn't think I had in me at this moment.
Thankfully, our taxi had waited for us on the street the entire time. When I had told the elderly cab driver why I was requesting for him to stick around, he had turned off his meter, letting me know that he wouldn't be charging me for the extra time.
Somehow, I'm able to calmly sit down in the backseat while Jimin loads my things into the trunk without allowing my tears to fall. I spot Cameron running out of the front door, now angered once again as he rushes up to Jimin as his intended target. The latter shuts the trunk and quickly turns around, ready to defend himself if needed and I can hear the two of them cursing and yelling at one another. It's mostly Cameron trying to still accuse me of also committing infidelity and Jimin defending my honor while also reminding my husband that just because he cheated on me, doesn't mean that I did the same thing. I'm far too emotionally exhausted to get involved so thankfully when Jimin takes a second to look back at me, he sees the broken look on my face and my eyes pleading for him to let it go. Pushing past my husband, he comes to take a seat next to me with the taxi driving away and leaving Cameron standing alone at the edge of the driveway.
Jimin doesn't say a word to me as I stare out at the city during the few minutes it takes to get back to his apartment. My phone continues to buzz and even though I don't even acknowledge its presence, Jimin slides it away from my hand and turns it completely off for me. The silence is both welcoming and disturbing as I feel the lump in my throat increasing in size.
Reaching his apartment, Jimin thanks the cab driver and grabs all of my things without hesitation. By the time we approach his door, I feel like I'm going to shatter within seconds as I watch him insert the key and open the door for me to walk in. But as soon as it's shut, I begin to violently sob and drop down to my knees with him falling along with me as he tries to hold me up but it's no use. Keeping my head close to his chest, he doesn't say a word while he lets me cry as much as I need to.
How could my husband do such a thing and just how long has he been sneaking around behind my back? Has it been ever since he started staying out all night or was it even prior to that when I thought he was simply hanging out with friends? Was he having late-night conversations with these men when I thought he was playing video games or watching movies? Was he denying me sex because he was wishing it was one of them?
Why am I not good enough?
He said he was still attracted to women, were there other women as well?
Infidelity is a common thing where we live and while we both knew that bit of information when we said our vows, we both agreed that we weren't okay with cheating on one another. The fact he knew this just as much as I did and yet still acted on his desires hurts me, unlike any betrayal I've ever felt before.
I don't even know why I'm questioning any of this. It obviously doesn't matter because, at the end of the day, he cheated on me and was caught in the act; a visual I don't think I'll ever be able to fully erase from my memory.
With swollen shut eyes as my sobs turn into soft whimpers, I feel Jimin's arms scoop me up from the floor and he begins to carry me towards the bedroom. When my bottom touches the mattress, I find the strength to open my eyes and look at him as his own tear-stained cheeks and sympathetic gaze stare back at me. Reaching over to the nightstand, he takes a couple of tissues and softly dabs at my face until it's at least drier than it originally was.
His fingers play with the hem of my lightweight sweater as he worriedly looks at me. "I'm just going to get you ready for bed."
Nodding, I lift my arms, allowing him to pull the cashmere material over my head, leaving me in my white lace-trimmed camisole. Leaning closer, he kisses away the tear that streams down my cheek while also guiding me to lay back on the pillows. Watching my reaction, his hands move down to the button of my jeans as he undoes it and carefully lowers the zipper. I lift my hips giving him the approval to remove them from my body.
His chest rises and falls unevenly as he slowly pulls them off and when the trim of my matching panties comes into view, he holds his breath altogether. Completely free of the denim's tight hold, he pulls back the covers and helps me slip inside before he removes his own sweater. The sight of his chiseled frame comes into view and I can't help but notice that he's even more beautiful than any of the times I imagined what he may look like.
Keeping his slacks on out of respect, he lays down beside me and pulls me close to his frame as he begins to soothingly run his fingers through my hair. His heartbeat acts as a lullaby with my ear resting on his smooth chest and my hand holding onto his waist. My energy feels totally depleted and soon my eyes start to blink slowly until eventually closing completely as I lose the battle to try to stay awake any longer.
"Shhh," Jimin slowly lets out, "get some rest, beautiful. I'll be here for you when you wake up."
He wraps his arms around me as I nod at his words, engulfing me in his warmth and security as he changes our position to lay me down on my side instead and snuggles closely up to me so that I'm held tightly while humming a soft tune to lull me into a night of deep sleep with our noses only a couple of centimeters apart.