Silence. Not a word has been given voice to since his promise. Even if I said something, I doubt it would reach him. Sound can't travel infinitely without dying out, and the distance between us is immense. No matter how loud I yell, I'll only hear my own echo.
I could take one step sideways and I'd be touching him, but a wall between our hearts has us seperated. The heavy air pressing on my shoulders is keeping me in place.
Why? What has started this, and how do we end it? Is it because I asked too much, because I refuse to tell him anything, because I confessed, because I forced him to make a weird promise? How far do I have to go back in time, in order to change the situation we are currently in?
Iwaizumi opens the door and walks in without looking back. I close it behind me, my gaze glued to the floor.
"Here." Finally, he brings out something, although it is not directed at me. It does make my nerves spike, though.
"Thanks." Mattsun doesn't notice anything yet. "What is it?"
"Protein shake," the other answers softly, shortly. "My favourite one."
"Really? Ah, that's great. You're a... hero...?" It seems our friend is becoming aware of the awkward situation.
I sigh. "Matsu, let's go." As quick as possible, I take my make-up out of the bag I'm carrying. Without any kind of explanation, I grab my stuff and walk to the front door.
He doesn't ask any questions (yet), and quietly follows me. "Bye, Iwa," he says shortly as we go out. The third boy does not return his words of valediction.
As expected, my friend starts whispering to me as soon as I close the door. "So... What happened?"
"I don't know...?" My answer is honest, but I am avoiding what he truly wants to hear. "I'm not sure where it started."
"Then tell me everything." Mattsun opens the yellowish bottle Iwa gave him.
"We've been awkward like this for weeks," I frown. "How am I supposed to go over all of it?"
"I'm talking about today. You don't think that I haven't noticed your weird behaviour at all, did you? It has been weeks, indeed."
"Of course we're weird today," I huff, "you shouldn't be surprised by that."
The dark-haired boy sighs, takes a swig from his protein drink, and then pierces through my act with his gaze. "Stop running from it already."
He might yell at me, or maybe he will be understanding and console me. Whatever the case, he won't let me get away. And I'm not Iwa, so I can't change topics as quick, or turn things around and make it about someone else.
"We were walking to the store, and I was asking him about the things he did. Like, why he did them, and, you know..." I take a deep breath. "But he wouldn't say anything, and by the time I had cornered him, we arrived."
Mattsun hums. "And?"
"And for a second, we were able to act like normal friends. I'm not sure how it happened. It came so naturally. But I just had to ruin it..."
The other balances to my side for a bit, bumping into me softly. "How?"
"I confessed."
"Wha--?" he starts choking on his drink, coughing loudly.
Silently, I stop walking and carefully hit his back, waiting for his ability to breathe to return. It takes a while, but in the end, he is able to calm down. Kind of.
"You what?"
"I told him that I love him, I guess..."
My face turns red as my friend stares at me, stupefied. "You said those three words? You didn't say it in some stupid, vague way?"
"No. Just like that."
"Oh, shit... What did Iwa do?"
"He started yelling at me for saying something weird." The memory makes me chuckle shortly. "It was weird. It came out of nowhere."
"I see..." Mattsun frowns, then returns the favour of touching my back, although his pats are more gentle than my hits. "So you're hurt because you feel like he rejected you?"
Rejected? "No, not at all. It felt good, actually. Liberating. I said it ten times more, I think. He thought it was in a friend-like way, so it didn't damage us, yet I could let it out."
The two of us start walking again as the other swallows down the remainder of his drink. He seems confused, unsure of what to tell me. I guess I did surprise him, after all.
"So what happened next? Why did it become awkward again?" he tries to get me to continue.
I turn my gaze to the ground. "We left the store, so I resumed our conversation, and he started saying weird things, so I told him that I love him again, but this time it felt way more real, and..."
"Breathe," the other interrupts me. "Relax. We're not in a hurry."
After doing as he says, or at least making an attempt, I go on. "I was... really close to him, right in his personal space, and he told me I should rely on him more, and I couldn't help but tell him again. But this time it felt so personal and I felt like I had totally just exposed myself, and it got really weird..."
"Did he reply at all?"
"Uh, well..." If I admit that he said it back, but in a friendzone-like way, he will definitely yell at me. "He looked really hurt by it. And then I made things worse by making him promise something, and..."
"What kind of promise?"
"Because of the timer coming to an end, I made him promise to take good care of Makki and Lana. And himself." I brush my fingers through my hair. "And that's it. We both fell quiet after that."
Mattsun's dark eyes try to reveal the truth behind my words, but he cannot read me as well as Lana or Iwa, so it doesn't concern me. That, and me mentioning his ex's name must make his head a bit more clouded.
Before he figures something out anyways, I ask a question that has been burning on my mind since this morning. "Speaking of timers... You said I shouldn't worry about it, but I don't think you understand. Never, in my 6 years of having this curse, have I seen one appear out of thin air. I... I am worried."
"I can't explain that, either," he shrugs. "But really, you shouldn't think about it too much."
"How can I not think about it when it's so bright and shiny and always there whenever I look at you?" I cry. "Since you refuse to tell me what it means, I can't do anything but fret about it."
"Do you really want to know? It'll ruin you."
"It's already ruining me, and it will do so even more within a few days."
"And what if we're wrong?" Emotions show up in his voice. It surprises me. "What if we're wrong, and this isn't between you and Iwa at all? You'll be a wreck for nothing."
"We're not wrong! Iwa and I have the same damn timer!" My desperation increases as well.
He is quick to reply to this. "So does your cousin, right? What if it's connected to her? Have you thought about that at all?"
"But I want to know about yours!" How do I get through to him? "You're all I have right now, Matsu!"
"And you are all I have." His tone and volume become softer as he moves his hand to his chest. "Whatever happened that gave me this thing, it won't affect us. This is between me and Iwaizumi. That much I'm sure of."
"I don't want to lose you, too..." The thought makes my throat hurt as I try to keep the tears from welling up. When did he become this important to me? I never noticed. Could he always have been this close to me?
Once again, he leans against me, though this time it lasts. "You won't."
His weight forces me to stop walking, because I can't keep my balance. "I'll chain our wrists together like they do in those stupid cartoons if you're lying."
Mattsun snorts. "Sure, go ahead. As long as I can drink."
We stand still for a while, the wind blowing through our hair, slowly taking away the worst part of the emotions we were feeling.
"Thank you," I tell the boy so dear to me as I start leaning against him as well.
He did not expect that, which makes him lose his balance. I follow, also falling sidewards, trying to hold on to him in order to keep standing. However, he tries to do the same, making both of us fail.
I can't help but laugh a little, despite the depressing situation I am in. The other boy does the same, giggling softly. It feels pure, warm, sincere. This moment makes me trust his words a little more.
Without exchanging any more words, we get up and walk towards Matsu's house, our arms slightly touching with each step we take, our bond growing stronger with each passing second.
~It's a short chapter despite the amount of time that has passed, but hey! The good news is, Makki's showing up soon! Wooooo! -J~