Loki Misses the Asgardian Pri...

By KittyHazelnut

100K 5.9K 9.5K

The Allfather has run out of options. Loki has made a fool of him and a fool of his realm one too many times... More

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87
Chapter 88
Chapter 89
Chapter 90
Chapter 91
Chapter 92
Chapter 93
Chapter 94
Chapter 95
Chapter 96
Chapter 97
Chapter 98
Chapter 99
Chapter 100
Chapter 101
Chapter 102
Chapter 103
Chapter 104
Chapter 105
Chapter 106
Chapter 107
Chapter 108
Chapter 109
Chapter 110
Chapter 111
Chapter 112
Chapter 113
Chapter 114
Chapter 115
Chapter 116
Chapter 117
Chapter 118
Chapter 119
Chapter 120
Chapter 121
Chapter 122
Chapter 123
Chapter 124
Chapter 125
Chapter 126
Chapter 127
Chapter 128
Chapter 129
Chapter 130
Chapter 131
Chapter 132
Chapter 133
Chapter 134
Chapter 135
Chapter 136
Chapter 137
Chapter 138
Chapter 139
Chapter 140
Chapter 141
Chapter 142
Chapter 143
Chapter 144
Chapter 145
Chapter 146
Chapter 147
Chapter 148
Chapter 149
Chapter 150
Chapter 151
Chapter 152
Chapter 153
Chapter 154
Chapter 155
Chapter 156
Chapter 157
Chapter 158
Chapter 159
Chapter 160
Chapter 161
Chapter 162
Chapter 163
Chapter 164
Chapter 165
Chapter 166
Chapter 167
Chapter 168
Chapter 169
Chapter 170
Chapter 171
Chapter 172
Chapter 173
Chapter 174
Chapter175
Chapter 176
Chapter 177
Chapter 178
Chapter 179
Chapter 180
Chapter 181
Chapter 182
Chapter 183
Chapter 184
Chapter 185
Chapter 186
Chapter 187
Chapter 188
Chapter 189
Chapter 190
Chapter 191
Chapter 192
Chapter 193
Chapter 194
Chapter 195
Chapter 196
Chapter 197
Chapter 198

Chapter 10

1K 51 20
By KittyHazelnut

Steve goes out of his way to buy Loki a new pair of pants. If his problem is that he's hot, he's probably looking for some lighter pants, so he walks throughout the entire men's clothing section of Walmart until he finds some loose cotton pajama pants. They look much lighter than his leather ones, they're probably about his size, and they're cheap. That feels like a success to him.

While he's out, he also runs to the grocery store to get more dinosaur chicken nuggets. He picks up a few things for himself while he's out, too. Grocery stores have a lot of new options that they didn't have 70 years ago. He'd like to give some of them a try — and anything he doesn't like, he can just give to one of the other Avengers. It seems there are some perks to having this many housemates.

Tony is, per usual, nowhere to be found when he gets home. He spends most of his time in his lab, much to Steve's relief. It's not that he doesn't like Tony. They just... don't always get along. Clint is out, too — Fury still calls him in at SHIELD most days, because unlike Natasha, he's not actually assigned to Stark Tower.

That leaves Natasha as the only Avenger hanging around the compound, and she just happens to be in the kitchen when he comes back. He dumps his bags on the counter and begins stocking the food away.

"You know," Natasha says, "I'm pretty sure Stark was kidding when he said you had to do your own grocery shopping."

"No, I know," Steve says. "I just have a lot of new foods left to try."

Natasha cracks a smile at that. She props her head up on her fist. "Alright, what'd you get?"

Steve begins showing her the various foods as he puts them away. "Microwavable mac n cheese."

"Oh, absolutely delicious," Natasha says. "Not as good as normal mac n cheese, but great when you don't have time to cook."

Steve grins. That's good to know. It looks good, so he hopes it tastes it. He pulls out the next piece of food. "Cookie dough ice cream?" He eyes the picture on the front of the container. It looks weird. It sounds weird, too, for that matter. But he does like cookies...

"Oh, you're gonna love it," Natasha says. "And if you don't, I will gladly eat the rest."

Steve chuckles. "Duly noted." He slips it in the freezer. The next thing he pulls out also goes in the freezer. "Apparently these are pretzels, but they're also bread." Which doesn't strike him as a very pretzel-y quality, but he does like bread.

"They sell those frozen?"

Steve chuckles. "Apparently. Wanna try one with me?"

"Oh, hell yes," Natasha says.

Steve reads the instructions on the back of the box. There's a microwave option and an oven option, and he chooses the latter just because he understands it better. He sets the oven to preheat, then goes back to sifting through groceries.

He pulls out the next thing he found. "I think these are like nachos?"

Natasha bursts out laughing.

Steve furrows his brows. "Are they not like nachos?"

Natasha smacks her fist on the table, her face beginning to turn red from laughter. "'Are they like nachos?'"

He reads the bag again, confused. "They say they're nacho cheese chips. Isn't that...?"

Natasha takes a few moments to recover her composure before saying a very amused, "No, Steve. Doritos are nothing like nachos."

"Huh." Steve eyes the bag for a minute. These really aren't like nachos? They say "nacho cheese" on the bag. How are they not like nachos? God, the 21st century is wild.

"You know what we should do?" Natasha says. "We should have a movie night. Doritos go great with movie nights."

Steve grins. "I'd like that." He thinks back to his list of pop culture things to check out. There were a lot of movies he needed to catch up on. "What about Star Wars?"

"Wow, goin' old-school," Natasha remarks. "Which I guess for you is new-school."

Steve shrugs. "Well, you know..."

"Well, hey, everybody's gotta watch Star Wars at least once," Natasha says. She leans back in her seat and nods at the last grocery bag. "What else you got?"

"Um..." Steve pulls out two bags of dinosaur chicken nuggets. "Loki finished the rest of these last night, so I got some more."

"God, that guy goes through nuggets like Barton goes through arrows," Natasha mutters.

"Yeah, he really likes these, doesn't he?" Steve agrees. He puts one bag in the freezer, but then he pauses, eyeing the bag.

"Oh, don't tell me you don't know what chicken nuggets are, either," Natasha says teasingly.

Steve chuckles awkwardly. "I know what they are. I've seen the commercials."

Natasha scoffs, a big smile on her face. "Oh my god."

Steve smiles, too, though he's definitely confused. "What?"

"You've never had a chicken nugget," Natasha says.

Steve shrugs sheepishly. "They didn't exist in the '40s."

Natasha shakes her head. "Alright, you and I are gonna go on a field trip one of these days to try all the food you've missed."

"I would love to," Steve says, and he sincerely means it. He'd love to go around trying all the food he's missed, and there are certainly worse people to spend the day with.

She gestures to the other bag. "What'd you go to Walmart for?"

"Oh, just..." He holds the bag up briefly, then drops it on the floor for him to grab later. "Something for Loki."

Natasha snorts. "You're getting Loki gifts now?"

"It's not a gift," Steve says. "It's just something he asked for."

"So it's a gift," Natasha says.

Steve shakes his head to himself. "It's just a pair of pants."

Natasha laughs. "He asked for a pair of pants?"

"He was getting hot in the leather ones," Steve says. And he's sick, even if he won't admit it. Sometimes time and comfortable clothes are the best medicine.

"Well, yeah, when he walks around all day in, like, five layers of leather, I'm not surprised he's hot," Natasha says.

"He wasn't wearing five layers of leather," Steve says. He was wearing one — half of one, even; it was literally just the pants.

"He might as well be," Natasha says, whatever that means. "When did you two get all buddy-buddy? Two days ago, you sounded like you wanted to handcuff him to the bed — and not in a fun way."

"We're not 'buddy-buddy,'" Steve says. "I told you yesterday. He's sick."

"He's a god," Natasha reminds him. "I think he can handle a little cold."

"It looks a bit worse than 'a little cold,'" Steve says.

Natasha raises an eyebrow. "Mm-hmm."

Steve crosses his arms, raising his own eyebrow in return. "What?"

"What?" she replies with a small smirk.

Steve shakes his head. "Where does Stark keep his cookie sheets?"

"I don't think Stark has ever had to bake for himself a day in his life," Natasha says.

While that may or may not be true, after a bit of searching, they conclude that he does, in fact, have cookie sheets. Steve pulls one out just as the oven finishes preheating, so he lays a few frozen pretzels on it and shoves it right into the oven.

"Who gets the third one?" Natasha asks.

Steve doesn't answer, which, really, is an answer in and of itself.

"You're making Loki a pretzel?" she says, dumbfounded.

"I feel bad!" Steve says defensively. "All he's eaten lately is chicken nuggets, and I know I don't know what chicken nuggets taste like but I'm sure he's getting sick of them."

Natasha shakes her head like a disappointed parent. "You do remember that Loki just tried to kill us not too long ago, right?"

"I know, I know," Steve says. "But if you'd seen him last night..."

"Pass," Natasha says. "I would like to never see him again, actually."

"I think he'd like that, too," Steve says. He definitely didn't seem to enjoy Steve's company, that's for sure. "Unless you want to come with me. You can stand on the other side of the wall. He doesn't even have to know you're there."

Natasha raises an eyebrow. "Are you asking me to keep you company while you go to Loki's room?"

"Not like that," Steve says. He doesn't need the company. He's more than capable of delivering Loki some pants and a pretzel. It's just... "You need to hear him. He's not okay."

"Good," Natasha says. "I don't want him to be okay."

"Nat." Steve gives her a look.

Natasha groans. "Fine, I'll go with you, but I don't care how he's doing."

"I thought the same thing until I saw him," Steve says.

"Well, you've always been more compassionate than I am," Natasha says. "Comes with the job description."

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