Tw: Suicidal thoughts and self harm.
Over the past three weeks Asami has been aiding Korra. The two were starting to build a bond. This was the first time in Asami's whole life that she felt like she had a real friend.
Korra on the other hand was completely broken, she was so thankful for Asami but now she realized that the people she thought were her friends were nothing more than acquaintances. Kuvira completely stopped talking to Korra, Bolin and Mako would smile at her or say 'hi' then walk away. It hit her that Asami was her only friend left.
It was Sunday night, Korra was laying in bed with a horrible ache in her knee. Physical therapy had been going well for a couple weeks until an unfortunate setback forced Korra to slow down on her recovery.
The setback really took a toll on Korra's mental health. She stared up at her ceiling, only a little moonlight creeped through the window. I may never get better, this might be my life from now on. Those thoughts scared her more than anything. The depression definitely was getting worse, it took so much energy just to get out of bed in the mornings or even taking care of herself.
The darkness of Korra's room again left her alone with her broken mind. These thoughts were worse than any of the others. Maybe if I just kill myself then nobody would have to worry about me. My family wouldn't have to pay for any more doctor visits. It would make their lives so much easier and happier. Korra then thought about Asami and how she would be affected. Korra knew that she was helping Asami by just being there for her.
"I don't know what to do." Korra whispered into the darkness. She is so tired of being alive and in constant pain but she didn't want to hurt her family or Asami. This was the first time in Korra's entire life that she ever thought about suicide.
Korra needed to find something to take her mind off of the thoughts of suicide and the ache in her knee. She tried listening to music and watching TV but she soon found that it did nothing for her. She remembered hearing stories from people who were struggling with mental health issues, they would cut themselves and it helped take their mind off of their problems. Right now it was Korra's last option.
Korra did her best to slide quietly out of bed and sneak to the kitchen to get a knife. She didn't want her parents to know what she was doing. It will only put a bigger burden on them. Korra told herself.
The tan skinned girl quietly crutched to the bathroom, she closed the door and locked it. She lowered herself onto the closed toilet, the blade was pressed against her left forearm. Korra pressed hard and slid the knife horizontally across her arm. Beads of blood started to form from the cut. She repeated the act multiple times until tears were freely flowing from her eyes and the blood was running down her arm. Cutting numbed the pain in her mind.
Korra looked down at her arm, she immediately was hit with a sense of worthlessness. I'm such a failure. The demons of her mind came racing back to fill the empty space once again. The girl started contemplating about taking her own life. She wanted all the pain and sorrow to end, killing herself would do that she would be free from this awful reality. Images of her family and Asami flashed through her head, if I do this I would be forcing them to suffer. I can't do that to them.
The blood dripping onto the white tile brought Korra back to reality. She cleaned up the blood from the floor and her arm. Korra stared at her reflection in the mirror and a whole different person stared back. She closed her eyes and turned off the light then left back to the darkness of her room.
Asami...
Asami pulled into the school parking lot, and lately she has been so happy to come to school now that she has Korra as a friend. Korra understood her, Asami felt like she could be herself around Korra.
Asami opened her locker and waited for Korra like she normally did. Ten minutes before the bell for class to start, Korra is never this late. Asami started to become worried about her friend. She was just about to text Korra when she noticed the girl crutching down the hallway towards her. "Good morning Korra. I was just about to text you."
"Hey 'Sami." Korra gave her a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"I was starting to get worried about you." Asami chuckled.
"Why's that?" Korra leaned against the lockers.
"You're never this late." Asami grabbed her books and closed her locker.
"Oh, my bad. My alarm didn't go off." Korra started following Asami.
Something feels off. "Korra, is everything okay?" Asami asked with concern in her voice.
"Oh yeah, I've never been better." Korra gave her that same fake smile.
Asami stopped and looked Korra in the eyes, "I just want you to know that I'm always here for you. If you ever want to talk or anything." Asami gave the shorter girl's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
"Thanks 'Sami, I really appreciate it but we better get to class before we're tardy." Korra started walking before Asami had a chance to say anything. Something is definitely wrong.
Asami and Korra sat next to each other in Mr.Tenzin's class. The raven haired girl looked at Korra and saw that she was staring into space while fidgeting with her left sleeve, she nudged her "You okay?"
Korra snapped out of her trance, "yeah, I'm just a little tired."
Asami's concern grew even more. She could tell that Korra was fighting an internal battle but to what extent was unknown.
Korra was even more silent as the day progressed, it was scaring Asami. At Lunch she didn't even touch her food. "Korra are you gonna eat?"
"I'm not really hungry." The straightforward answers were frustrating Asami to no end. "Can you please tell me what's going on?"
"'Sami, I'm fine. Just drop it." Asami knew when to stop. She didn't want to keep pushing the poor girl.
As the end of the school day arrived Korra had hardly said anything else. Asami walked with Korra to her locker, "Kor, do you want to hang out with me tonight? Please."
Korra finally gave in, "Sure, just let me call my mom first." She hoped that being with her friend would help get her through these awful days.
"Ok." Asami's eyes lit up with excitement.
Korra got into Asami's car, the drive was silent for the most part. Music was playing lightly from the speakers. Korra loved the time she would spend with the raven haired girl. She loved that Asami didn't treat her like a charity case like everyone else did.
The Satomobile pulled into the Sato mansion's long driveway, each side was lined with flowers of every color. Asami put the car into park, "My parents shouldn't be home for another couple hours, so the house is ours for the time being."
Asami grabbed her and Korra's bag. Korra followed close behind her. "My room is on the bottom floor so you won't have to climb any stairs." Asami opened the front door and motioned Korra in.
Korra continued to follow the taller girl to her room. "Here we are." Asami set the bags down at the foot of the bed. Korra was amazed at the sheer size of Asami's room. The bedroom was much bigger than Korra's. The walls were painted a red and black color which made sense with Asami's choice of fashion.
Korra sat on the bed, she was starting to put her leg up but quickly realized that she still had her shoes on. Great, now she will see how pathetic I really am. Korra knew there was no way she could take her right shoe off without hurting herself.
Asami took off her jacket and layed on the back of her desk chair. She caught sight of Korra staring down at her injured leg with a look of disappointment on her face. Asami then noticed that Korra still had that shoe on, everything started to click into place. "Do you need help with your shoe?"
Korra was defeated, she closed her eyes and sighed "Yes please." Asami knelt down in front of her, untied the shoe strings and carefully pulled it off. She looked up at the caramel skinned girl, Asami saw the look on Korra's face, "Korra, it's okay to ask for help." Asami put as much empathy into her voice as she could.
"I'm sorry that you have to do this for me. I'm pathetic and useless." Korra could feel the tears start to manifest in her eyes.
"Korra, don't say that! You're not useless or pathetic. You're just...hurt. Give yourself time to heal." Asami hated that Korra thought of herself in that way.
Korra snapped, "Everyone says that 'give yourself time' I'm trying! I'm so tired of all of this! Asami you're wrong I am worthless, I'm nothing now. I still can't walk on my own, I can barely get dressed on my own, you have to help me get to classes. Tell me what use or worth I am to anyone!" The tears are now flowing freely.
Asami quickly wrapped her arms around Korra, "You're not worthless." She whispered into Korra's neck. Asami pulled herself away and looked into Korra's blue eyes, "You mean so much to me and your family. I know things are hard but you just have to keep fighting. You will get better."
"I just want the pain to go away...I want my old life back." Korra sniffled.
"I know you do and it will come back in time. Right now you just have to let your body rest so it can heal itself. I will always be here for you Korra, it doesn't matter what it is." Asami pulled Korra into another hug. "Don't ever think of yourself as worthless because you're not." Asami pulled away again and forced Korra to look at her, "I want you to promise me something. If you ever and I mean ever have any thoughts of suicide you need to tell me, I will help you. It doesn't matter what time it is, I will always be here for you. Promise me that, please."
"I will...I promise." Korra wanted so badly to tell Asami about last night and the cuts on her arm but she couldn't. "Thank you so much."
"Don't worry about it Korra. I care about you and I don't want to lose you." Asami layed in bed next to Korra and embraced her. "Everything will be better in time."
Asami now knew her feelings went deeper than friendship.
A/N: Depression was a problem I dealt with through my entire recovery and to this day I still deal with it. Don't be ashamed to ask for help. I'm always here if you need to talk. Hope you enjoyed:)