"B, come on, it's been four days! You've got to get out of bed," Jed exclaimed.
I dug my face deeper into my tear stained pillow before groaning, "You have to get out of bed sometime. Luckily for you, Emma told Headmaster Bennett that you are just going to be getting tutoring from her to make up for classes your missing. As long as you're working on your project, with by the looks of WandaVision playing for the a thousandth time since I've been here I'm guess that's a no,"
"Who says I can't make WandaVision the musical!" I fire back, the pillow muffling my words.
"Unless you want to fail I suggest you don't," he expressed and I turned my head and faced my bedside table.
"How is she?" I whispered, not wanting to look at him. My eyes locked on the picture of me and Jo that Lizzie took one day.
It was a day that we were just hanging out with Lizzie. A small little picnic of just hanging out and having fun. Jo's head rested on my lap, looking up at me, squishing my cheeks together, as I was sitting up and looking at her.
"No one has really seen her since," he whispered, "Besides Lizzie of course, but I heard Lizzie's still talking to you. I don't know how you managed to do that,"
"I thought she was gonna kill me," I told him.
I put my fingers up as my face was buried in my pillows.
3
2
1...
"Bentley Rae Quinn! What the hell?!" she yelled, my door flying open.
Note to self: fix the door again, "Are you going to explain yourself or are you just gonna sit there looking guilty for breaking my sister's heart yet again?!"
"It was a mutual break up," I whispered.
"What?" Lizzie asked, her voice growing softer.
"I didn't- with everything that's been happening with Nate and Dani coming back. It's made me feel like my old self again, but I keep thinking what if there was never a new me?" I kept my voice soft as I shared my thoughts with her.
"I tried changing my ways for Jo. I became a hybrid and turned my humanity back on for you guys. I never did anything for myself. I guess I just realized that we're both still broken and maybe letting go, at least for right now, is the best bet. And she agreed," my voice cracking yet again.
Lizzie came over to my bed and wrapped her arms around me. I didn't cry though. I was more numb than anything else.
"You guys will find your way back to each other. If anyone's meant to be, it'll be you,"
"You need to at least get up and go to the music room or something!" Jed exclaimed, ripping the covers off of me, "You haven't picked up any of your guitars or wrote anything,"
"I just haven't felt the need to," I groaned as I threw on my usual pair of sweatpants and crewneck that I've been wearing for the past four days.
"Well, that's too bad because I'm going to kidnap you,"
He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I punched his back as softly as possible as my legs flailed in the air. Everything was upside down.
"You know, I'm stronger than you right?" I yelled at him.
"You know, that if you really wanted to hurt me, you would've by now," he fired back and I rolled my eyes internally before we came to an abrupt stop.
"What the hell is going on here?" Lizzie's voice rang out and I could see a faint smile on her face even though I couldn't see her face.
"I'm taking our shared best friend to the music room to try and help her get back into the groove of things," Jed told her.
"I'm not a child you share custody of!" I exclaimed.
"Yes, we know. You're actually a dog," Lizzie said, ruffling my hair.
I looked at her and rolled my eyes playfully. My eyes softened as I saw bags under her eyes, "Have you been sleeping?" I asked.
The blonde immediately shot up from my view, "Yeah, it's just been waking up in the middle of the night,"
"For what?"
"No reason,"
"You're lying," there was a pause before I looked at her once more, "It's because of Jo isn't it? She hasn't been sleeping," Lizzie didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. I already knew the truth, "She hasn't been doing well, has she?"
She just shook her head and I let out a sigh. Lizzie said a quick goodbye before running away, probably regretting ever stopping us in the first place. We finally arrived at the music room and Jed placed me down onto the piano seat.
"I'm gonna leave you in here until you play something or at least write something," he said, more gentle this time than earlier.
I didn't bother arguing with him. I just shot him a thumbs up before looking back at the piano keys. I didn't bother touching them, I stared, that's all I did. It was like they were intimidating me.
They were begging me to play them, but nothing was coming to my head. No inspiration. No love. No muse. So I sat there with a blanket that I dragged along with me.
There was a knock on the door, I turned my head to see my mom leaning against the door. She smiled softly, "Trying to find your muse?"
"I guess, more like I was locked in the room by Jed. I don't even know how long I've been here," I let out an empty laugh as my hands were just hovered over the piano keys. I was about to play something when I just dropped them.
"It's been a couple hours...How are you holding up?" she asked, sitting down next to me. I shrugged, smiling at her softly.
"How did it feel when you and dad broke up? Or well when he told you that he couldn't be with you anymore because Blakely was pregnant?" I asked her.
"Hurt, angry, sad, jealous even," she whispered, "Your dad and I had a lot of good chapters as a couple, Bentley. From high school to the time we got to spend when we met up after high school. But-"
"But the book's over," I said sadly.
She let out a sad sigh, nudging my shoulder, "Yes, but it ended in tragedy because our book was cut off too short. And that's okay, no one can say that we didn't try, me and your dad. Maybe, you and Josie too, I bet," she whispered and I nodded softly, "You guys are young and it's normal for you to change,"
"But I don't feel like I ever really changed from the girl I was before coming to the Salvatore school," I argued, "I feel like I'm stuck in this small little cycle of everything bad happening to me and never feeling like I've grown,"
"Maybe that's how you have changed...have you been talking to any of your friends? Trying to feel like you're not alone?" my mom asked.
I shrugged, "I talk to Jed and sometimes Lizzie, but she's busy with Jo. Then I've only talked to Hope once, but that's it,"
"What happened to Hope? I feel like you guys would talk more than that," my mom asked.
There was a soft knock on my door. I looked at the time on my phone and it read back 3:26am. I paused my WandaVision episode and trudged my way to the door. I opened it softly to see Hope standing there with a shy smile on her face.
"Hey," she said sadly.
"Hi," I whispered back. I opened the door a little wider and she came in, sitting on the other side of my bed.
I followed suit before placing myself down next to her and started to get more comfortable. I turned my head to look at her and noticed her beautiful eyes staring back at me.
"So was this decision a I choose you or a I need to figure myself out?" Hope whispered, I sighed, fiddling with my fingers, "By that silence, I'm assuming it's the second one,"
I nodded, "I'm not ready for a relationship right now, with either of you. I think in order to give either of you what you truly deserve, maybe, I need to learn and grow from my mistakes and from my past. Before, I was becoming who Jo wanted me to be and now I need to become who I want to be,"
There was a beat of silence, "Are you mad?"
She shook her head, "Not at all, I'm actually, really proud of you,"
"I do really care for you Hope, that hasn't changed," I whispered.
"And your love for Josie?"
"That hasn't changed either," I told her and we both sighed, "Maybe once I figure myself out the decision will be a lot clearer. Right now, it just depends on fate,"
"Fate doesn't exist," she argued back, a small smile creeping up onto her face.
I chuckled, "Are we really going to have this argument again?"
"No, I'll let it go since I don't want you to lose again," she teased and I playfully rolled my eyes before pushing her shoulder.
She let out a sigh, "I'm gonna get going, I just wanted to check up on you. From now on, I'm going to give you some space. I want your decision to be fully what your heart wants. I want you to grow to become who you want to be," she said and her eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips, "I'll see you later B,"
I don't know what came over me, but I grabbed her wrist softly as she tried to get off the bed, "Stay,"
I shook my head softly from the memory, clearing my throat from one of the many things I've been trying to avoid, "I've just been holed up in my room, so I haven't really gotten around to it," I told her with a shrug, "How did you move on after dad died?" I asked her, changing the subject.
"I ate a lot, bombarded myself with work, binged watched all my favorite TV shows multiple times, and then when I realized it was unhealthy I started creating things. I got into playing the piano because it reminded me of your dad. It wasn't such a hard memory after that, it was like a piece of him was still in my heart," she commented.
"I know that a lot of your songs were about Jo. They were happy and lovey, but I suggest creating another song. It doesn't have to be so happy and lovey anymore, it can be sad and heartfelt. Then maybe, just maybe, creating your music won't be as hard anymore,"
My mom stood up from the piano bench and started walking towards the door, "Sometimes the last, best thing we can do for someone we truly love is to let them go. Luckily, Jo is still here and it comes down to that age old saying if they were really yours, they'll come back," she said softly, "But for right now, maybe it's time to let go,"
I let out a sigh thinking back to everything else that she said. I picked up my journal that was resting on top of the piano and started writing. I took a deep breath and just kept writing. I played a few notes on the piano and sang a few more words to adjust the lyrics.
I don't know how much time had passed before I just had a full song.
{Bentley}
Close the book before it turns to tragedy
Tear the treehouse down, give up the fantasy
Nothing to regret, since the day we met
Glad we took a chance making our own world
I thought back to the time where we were the happiest. It was a little after I got over myself after turning back on my humanity. It was a simple day, school had just ended and I was chilling with Josie.
I had my lycanthrope textbook on my bed with my notebook right next to it. I was just reading when I could feel her eyes on me. I looked up from my book to see Jo staring right back at me.
"You know, you're supposed to be studying," I whispered to her like it was a big secret, "That is the only way your dad lets us hang out before your homework is done,"
"I know, but the view is nice, plus it's cute when you're trying to concentrate. Your tongue sticks out and everything," she confessed, a smile on her face.
"Well, I'm glad you think that's cute. I think it's really embarrassing," I told her, "But I'm always going to be here, your A's however, may drop. So that's more important,"
She let out a huff, "Then, can I have a kiss before I have to return to my book?"
"Of course," I whisper.
I leaned in just a few inches before giving her a soft kiss. Our lips meet in the utmost perfect kiss. It wasn't dramatic or had any flare. It was like coming home after a long trip and your head hitting your own bed.
"God you guys are so gross," Lizzie announced her presence, "I've been knocking on the door for that entire conversation and you guys were in your own world that you couldn't even hear!"
{Bentley}
Perfectly, imperfect, like it had to be
Who thought that one first kiss would turn into two heartbreaks?
Cause since we were young I swore, I'd never walk away
"Josette Olivia Saltzman, why are you so angry at me right now?" I whisper-yelled to her in the library.
Ever since I had to ask Penelope for tutoring in our History of the Supernatural class, Josie has been acting a little passive aggressive at me, "It's nothing Bentley, I'm fine,"
I cringed at the sound of my full name coming from her mouth, "Ew, I did not like that. But obviously something is wrong if you're using my full name, like my mom does when I'm in trouble,"
There was a beat of silence and I was about to open my mouth again when she cut me off, "Why don't you just go ask Penelope to help you make it up to me since you two seem so close now?!" she finally exclaimed, causing the librarian to shush her.
I leaned against the bookshelf with a small smirk on my face, "Jo, my sweet girl, are you jealous?" I asked her.
She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, leaning across from me, "No I'm not,"
"Are you sure? Your face is a little green," I teased and she rolled her eyes, trying to fight off a small smile. I grabbed her hands to uncross her arms and pulled her close to my body.
I wrapped my arms around her and she finally relaxed into my arms. I swayed us from side to side as I just started humming a random tune. I placed a soft kiss onto the top of her head and that's when she finally looked up at me.
"Do you want to talk about why you got so jealous?" I whispered to her.
She sighed, never losing her grip from around me, "I don't know, I know you and Penelope just try and be civil with one another. But I don't know, I guess a part of me feels like you'll just walk away and find someone better. Everyone I have ever loved has either hurt me or left me or both. I just don't want you to do that either," she confessed.
I cupped my hands on her face, "We're perfectly imperfect in our own way. There's no one else that'll ever change that," I whispered to her.
She smiled softly, "You promise?"
"I swear that I'll never walk away," I whispered as our noses brushed each other lightly before my lips touched hers for a sweet soft kiss.
{Bentley}
I love you so much, that I've got to let you go
It couldn't last forever and I hope you find better
I can't forget us, I can't pretend we ain't broken
It was good together, now I've got to let you go
I sniffled as tears threatened to spill on the piano keys, but I sucked it in as I started singing the next verse.
{Bentley}
I'll always be in love with who we used to be
I'll save the photographs and keep the memories
The ribbon in your hair, the secrets that we shared
The way that you would stare at me across the room
We'd laugh until we'd cry, it feels like yesterday
"So we all know that Mystic Falls has been home to the supernatural for centuries now, but does anyone know exactly what date?" Dorian asked, looking around the class. And when no one answered, he answered the question himself, "Great job me! But anyway, the founding families of Mystic Falls-"
I started to tune Dorian out as I looked at Jo. God, she was beautiful. Her usual down hairstyle was put into a ponytail, a blue and yellow ribbon tied around it. She had her eyes locked on Dorian, trying to grasp everything he said. Her eyes finally crossed over to mine. She raised her eyebrow giving me the classic look. The look that always told me to pay attention in class because I was too busy staring at her.
I noticed words starting to appear on my blank notebook:
Pay attention
I smiled at her with my shit-eating grin, 'I can't, you're beautiful', I mouthed the words back and she just rolled her eyes.
I continued to sing the chorus and I was so into it that I didn't even hear the door opening. Jed and Lizzie made their way inside the music room after hearing the piano finally playing.
They hung out in the back as I finally reached the bridge of the song. The tears were no longer held back, but they were falling freely onto my hands as they moved over the black and white keys.
{Bentley}
I'm picking up pieces left and right, now that our hearts are both untied
It'll take time, it'll take time
No one can say we didn't try
I'll think of these days all my life
It'll take time, it'll take time
I let out a small breath as my voice choked on the words.
{Bentley}
I love you so much that I've got to let you go
It couldn't last forever and I hope you find better, yeah
I can't forget us, I can't pretend we ain't broken
It was good together, now I've got to let you go
A quiet sob escaped my lips as my body shook up and down. Lizzie and Jed immediately rushed over wrapping their arms around me. I cried in Lizzie's arms as Jed rubbed my back soothingly.
I looked at Lizzie to see her cheeks stained with tears after I finished crying, "That was a beautiful song B," she whispered, "Probably your best one yet,"
"Sucks that it had to be this way, huh?" I asked her, "Your worst nightmare coming true, having to choose between helping me or Jo,"
She shook her head, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "No, I don't have to choose because the two of you need time to let go and grow. And if you find your way back, you will, and if not then we know that your book is closed," she said.
I crashed into her for a hug and she chuckled softly, wrapping her arms around me tightly, "You're always going to be like a sister to me. No matter what happens, that's never going to change,"
"Thank you for not abandoning me," I whispered into her shirt.
"I'm not going anywhere, not now, not ever," she told me, "Now come on, let's have a movie night. Just the three of us. Jed and I will put aside our differences and hang out with you tonight,"
I sniffled playfully, "Aw, I love co-parenting,"
Jed ruffled my hair before pulling me into his arms, "Don't push it. Also, we're not watching WandaVision again. I've seen that way too many times in the past four days, so please don't ruin that for me,"
We made our way back to my room. Lizzie provided us with all the ice cream in the world. I smiled softly as Jed and Lizzie argued over what movie to watch, "Fine fine, how about this one?" Jed finally asked, pulling it out of my DVD cabinet.
"Wait, that's actually perfect!" Lizzie exclaimed.
"Oh thank God!" Jed let out a breath of relief.
The movie started on the TV as the two got comfortable in my bed. Lizzie was on my left and Jed was on my right. The familiar sound of a hearty piece of drums started playing through the speakers of my TV.
The title of the movie popped up before the opening scene and it just stared back at me. Then for a split second it hit me! I sat straight up in my seat, causing Jed and Lizzie to flinch back in fear.
"I know what musical I'm going to do for my project!"
I looked back on the screen to see the words: The Greatest Showman in big bold yellow letters.