Days came by and went away. Same dull routine: my awful mood swings, Kakashi's missions and team seven unaware of my predicaments, outside world seemingly becoming an illusion as I stayed home all day. The whole lot was moving at its own pace but they were not enough to stop my travelling mind. Every day, I thought about Sasuke. Was he all right? Did Orochimaru promise something in return of a sinister price? Why were not the Leaf paying more attention to their lost Uchiha heir? Of course, there was Itachi Uchiha- the man who had been both discourteous and chivalrous on our first meeting. Those eyes...I shivered. Was it possible that he was the one who saved me in the Land of Snow? Why would he transform himself to Kakashi? There was only he I suspected who could dare do such thing. The more I recalled of that incident I became doubtful. Kakashi's impersonator did not speak to me, it could be because that man had no clue how his voice sounded like. Or was it a genjutsu? I fiddled with the book in my hand as I rocked myself back and forth in our new baby room. The fresh air swarming inside uplifted my mood; it was sweet and tasted just like Konoha. I was lucky our babies were going to be born during the rainy days; the weather would be cold and smelled of rain- just like Kakashi. I had only a month and a half left before welcoming those bundle of joys. Even though I cherished them, I wanted them to get out of my body now. I needed sleep...not that I would get much for the first six months of their lives. A future I was dreading, not to mention I was only twenty! I was probably one of the youngest mothers in Konoha, probably.
How would Naruto react? If he were to find out I was pregnant, he would try to beat Kakashi in combat, assume his sensei had lured his dear sister and done something. The idea of being married to Kakashi would be too complicated for the blonde; he had already shown great dislike over the man paying for my lunch. However, being innocent I was sure he would have no idea what took place. Then again, he spent more time with Jiraiya now and I questioned if his mind was innocent at all. Just as I was about to smile, Sasuke interrupted my thoughts. Those onyx eyes and raven hair, sulking mood and quietness harboring beneath a broken shell. He was a cunning boy who calculated the slightest bits of affection; one that he failed to control in front of Naruto. I sure missed their bickering, rivalry and honest confessions. It almost felt like they were the making of star-crossed paramours slowly walking the path of foes to friends to foes and lovers. However, Naruto liked Sakura, Sakura liked Sasuke and Sasuke liked...
well...
tomatoes.
I started rocking in the rocking chair again, reminiscing the days when team seven was whole and Kakashi came home angry or tired or both. Like the time when we went to the training fields and none of the Genins were paying attention to their sensei. They had been arguing about their ninja techniques, Sakura tried intervening but the boys were not having it. Kakashi had pulled me on his lap, ensuring that I would not be zapped by his chidori and within seconds, surge of electric current emerged from the bamboo stick and attacked the Genins, rendering them speechless and shocked (literally). Kakashi enjoyed that day, shocking his students every now and then, scaring them to become submissive and continued training. That was the day I realized, he was a sadist shmuck himself. Or maybe that time, when I found team seven at Ichiraku with Naruto and Sasuke bound together with a blue gumball adhesive. They were frustrated and Sasuke had been complaining of being robbed of peaceful bathroom moments. If one wanted to pee, the other denied them the release, if Sasuke wanted to sleep then Naruto wanted to train and if Naruto wanted to bathe then Sasuke blocked his path and the annoyance continued. I had taken the charge of controlling them but to no avail, they were a duo that only Kami and Kakashi could handle.
I used to enjoy how close Sasuke and I had become. He would want me to sit next to him during dinners at the ship, try get my attention- all of which seemed to have no effects on the boy sadly. I thought with fondness and connections, he would forget his horrible past. My train of thoughts halted when a certain pink haired, green-eyed Genin welcomed herself into the room. Her eyes widened looking at the baby blue shades, the many plush toys and books while carrying a bag of container that was sweet smelling.
"Y/N-chan! I got this for you" she smiled walking towards me.
"Sakura you should not have"
"No, no...sensei told me you like sweets"
"I do" warmed and grateful, I took the bag from her and opened it, immediately popping the soft fried ball that had creamy filling inside. "Sakura, these tastes so good!"
"I am happy you like it" humming she sat on the silver rug and picked up the toy kunai, my previous tantrums of gaining weight had gone as the sugary lump fueled my serotonins "why do you have weapon toys?"
"Kakashi's idea" I shrugged as the girl shook her head in disappointment.
"Are your kids going to be Shinobi?"
"I uh- I don't know really. We never talked about this because I am uncomfortable with the idea of my children going to missions and fighting ninjas at the age of eleven"
"Still, don't you want them to be strong?"
"I want them to be alive" I huffed, "I am carrying them for nine months Sakura. My body is bloated and in pain. I am not going to give birth to twins only for them to get killed because Konoha wanted a damn scroll"
"Wow, you really hate the system...don't you?" she nervously smiled.
"I don't enjoy the idea of children as young as you, younger than you, fighting for this country. Be a child, run around and have crushes...fall down the tree and scrape your elbow and laugh"
"I wished that too" she mused gently.
"You can do that but of course; if you wish to become a Kunoichi then you have my support"
"What if your children wants to be like Kakashi sensei?"
"They can wear masks and keep their faces hidden but not join the academy"
"Wow" she laughed, "You are going to be a tough mom"
"Well one of the parents has to be strict, Kakashi will spoil them"
"Really? Sensei is so strict"
"Trust me Sakura, I know this man. He will spoil them"
"Y/N-chan! What if it's a boy and like sensei?"
"Another set of Kakashi? Let me think" I pretended to think hard and squinted my eyes, "imagine being the mother and not knowing what they look like because they hide their faces" we giggled at the thought. Sakura had definitely become livelier over the weeks, saying she would work hard to bring Sasuke back as well and not depend on Naruto fully. She wanted to become strong for her team so that no one had to suffer any longer. It was sweet to watch her grow more than just a girl in love with a boy.
I wanted to be more than just Kakashi's wife, be someone with my own name and job and not hide underneath his mighty shadow. Of course, I was insecure and now with the pregnancy, my life had taken a few steps back but once I was fully recovered, I would take a job. I preferred one at the academy. However, I did not think Kakashi would be fond of the idea of his wife working closely with Iruka.
"Do you remember the time of that virus?" Sakura grabbed my attention.
"Which one?"
"Chakra virus? Everyone had panicked"
"Oh my goodness! I do remember! I was evacuated from the house and kept inside this mountain and ugh! Worst first trimester"
"What about me? I was hospitalized and had many tests done. Only at the end, it was found that I got rashes because Naruto sneezed on me. Bacterial infection"
"But I was really scared! Kakashi could not come and get me so Tsunade-sama had sent Shizune to help me get to the mountain. I had seen Iruka but we really avoided each other for obvious reasons"
"Do you know what really happened?"
"Kakashi told me that there was a chakra virus spreading amongst five nations so Godaime thought the worst. She tried taking precautions to capture Naruto since they all thought he was carrying the virus. At the end of the day, it was just a pepper bottle that was the main culprit and we were all released from inside the mountain"
"What was it like inside the mountain? I haven't gone in there"
"Well" I fidgeted recalling the stress, "At first, I tried arguing with Shizune. I did not carry chakra so why should I leave my house. But my children carries chakra so I had to listen to her demands. The emergency drill was not a pretty sight, Sakura. There were too many people around me and none of them had the decency to keep a safe distance. I was pushed, shoved but had to keep up a pretty smile since everyone around were scared. It was such a tousle I wondered what Kakashi or the Shinobi were doing. I waited there until sundown, without much food and it was hot inside. This event made me realize how isolated I was from the village. I did not know anyone there"
"Who picked you up?"
"Izumo did because even then most people were unaware of my marriage"
"Izumo-san knows?" I nodded.
"Izumo, Kotetsu, Ko Hyuga, Guy, Asuma, Kurenai, Aoba, Raido, Genma, Ebisu, Jiraiya, Tsunade-sama, Shizune"
"So many people"
"Oh! And you and some of the higher ups of Konoha and elite families"
"That's almost all of Konoha, why not be open?"
"We don't want anyone to spread that information. Sandaime thought it would garner unwanted attention from the wrong people"
"Right, they might try to hurt you to get back at us"
"Yes"
"And now you are pregnant, we have to be more careful"
"Indeed"
"I honestly don't know how you are feeling but I promise I will try to help you as much as I can!" she softly put her tiny hands over my belly. Her eyes sparkled as she felt them move beneath her touch. She wanted to stay and spend more time but I ushered her out. I did not want her to lose focus of her missions and training for me. Even then, I convinced her that Anbu, who were stealthy and knew where to hide, was guarding me.
Speaking of the Black Ops, I had tried to make friends with them but most of the times they remained quiet apart from the one with red crescent moons on his feline mask. He was talkative and often asked about my husband. Kakashi seemed to have faith on this man who never introduced himself to me. Like the other night when Kakashi was out on an important A rank mission, I made two dishes for me and the Anbu in my house. He reluctantly had sat on the dining table but refused to eat my cooked meal. I tried guilt tripping him by pretending he thought I was a bad cook. He was not phased in fact, he criticized how staying up at night was unhealthy for my kids. He was unwavering about not keeping me awake past midnight, said he would keep the house clean and that I should just rest. Slowly, I understood why Kakashi was fond of this man. Right now, the same man entered the kids' room after a knock or two, looking relieved.
"I get worried when you don't respond to my knocks"
"I just want to have fun"
"By increasing my pressure?"
"Or you can let me go outside and have fun"
"Kakashi-senpai told me not to do that"
"I thought you listen to the Hokage"
"I do"
"But you always talk about what your Kakashi senpai wants"
"I admire him"
"Everyone is just...charmed by this man. It's almost irritating"
"You are one of them"
"Am not!"
"You are"
"Hey! I was forced into this marriage by Sandaime"
"I am not saying what basis you married him; at the end, he did charm you"
"You shinobis are so irritating," I murmured focusing on the story book. It was of a ninja cat who was cursed to live a human life. Another ninja cat threatened his land and in order to return to his original form, he had to find the key to the map that would reveal the curses cure and a mythical treasure grove. In the beginning, I found it childish but minutes passed and I was engrossed to find out the journey of this man (cat).
"We are observers. It rather annoys a lot of people" I put my hand up to prove his point. "Have you been feeling sick, lately?"
"No"
"Any headaches?"
"No"
"Fever, uncontrollable tremors?"
"No, no and no to the next question"
"I was about to ask if I may sit next to you"
"Oh" I stopped rocking in the chair, clearing my throat I gestured him to sit... I looked around and found no other chair except for the one I was sitting on, "is it okay if you sat on the soft rug?"
"It's all right; I just wanted to fluster you"
"You really are irritating" I smiled as he chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest and eyeing me for a while. We remained quiet after that, once in a while he would patrol the house and stand next to me. It was soothing, the type of comfort that made me feel peaceful and at the same time, believe I was safe. Another reason why I realized Kakashi trusted this man. I looked around the room in wonderment, possible scenarios embedding in my mind. I longed to see that crib carrying a sleepy form of a tiny human being, a tiny mix of Kakashi and me. The first steps, the first words and all the firsts that I was going to see. However, there was a part in me that yearned for a mother's advice, to have families come over and rejoice on the news. It was sad that neither Kakashi's parents nor mine were alive to see this miracle. I did not have the gall to ask him about his past, it was traumatizing until this day for him and I avoided that topic despite my growing curiosity. I wanted to know why he disliked talking about his past. Who were his teammates? His sensei? I could notice the desperation in his eyes, the slight panic and want to have a family with me, to grow. They all screamed trauma yet I always respected his wishes to keep those secrets. Perhaps, he would tell me all about his life when the right moment arrived.
"You know, your daddy is just a huge mystery," I whispered, fully knowing the Anbu man was standing in front of my bedroom, "Can I make a request?" I chuckled at my own antics, "Please don't wear a mask like your daddy, stay away from Icha-Icha and most important of all, don't you guys dare sleep with thirty men or women"