It's been a while. Way too long.
I'm so sorry for the wait I please don't punch me in the face
I'm happy to be back and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.
I hope you enjoy this long chapter as an apology💛
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Songs you should listen to while reading.
All I want - Kodaline
Technicolor beat- oh wonder
Lights are on - Tom Rosenthal
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Bianca's POV
Three years later
I dusted the remaining flour on my hands as I left the dough in the fridge.
I heaved a tired sigh as I looked around the dirty kitchen in exhaustion. "Great," I mumbled to myself as the thought of having to clean up the entire kitchen myself filled my mind. I really need to hire more staff.
"Don't you think we should close up for the day?" Rae asks me softly as he strolled into the catastrophe that was the kitchen. "You seem a bit too stressed and I'm too tired to do anymore baking... or cleaning," he adds while leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed.
His suggestion was tempting, too tempting, but I couldn't just close up so early.
"Rae it's 5 o'clock," I point out.
He shrugs as he pushes himself off the frame and approaches me with his arms sticking crossed. I ignore him and start cleaning up, just as I'm about to grab a dirty spoon he takes my hand, making me look up at him in annoyance.
"You work too much. How about I call Rose and we all go to The Way," he suggest with pleading eyes.
I didn't want to budge but I couldn't help it, his soft brown eyes were hard to say no to and I hate saying no to him, especially after all he and his grandmother have done for me.
"Fine," I give in. He grins happily and quickly helps me to untie my apron.
"I'll call Rose," he says excitedly as he rushed out, his long dreadlocks swaying after him.
Looking around the small kitchen I let out a small breath.
I'm better. A lot better.
Thinking of my life right now, it's crazy that just three years ago I was getting thrown into a cop car.
I didn't last long in jail. Maybe about six months.
I don't know who helped me get out but I have a feeling it was Asher, either way I'm grateful I did.
I got the therapy I so desperately needed and pieced my life together. I had nothing when I got out, I was a complete no one but I never saw it as something bad. There were no ties or people holding me back. This is a lot different than the last freedom I had. This one is real.
I met Rae exactly a eight months after I left jail, I was looking for a source of income and his grandmother needed extra hands in her bakery. We've been friends since then and I met Rose through him.
One thing I love about my new friends is how easily they look passed flaws. They new I had a dangerous past but not once did they ask, care, or judge. They are amazing people.
A year after I was working here, Rae's grandma 'Jorja' retired and let him have the bakery while she moved back to South Africa with her boyfriend. Rae knew he couldn't do it alone. He had different dreams that didn't involve baking, so he decided to let us co-own it which was the greatest gift I think I've ever had. I've always wanted my own bakery.
Life isn't perfect. There's still so much that I need, but I'm in a contented state. And as for everyone from my past, I haven't seen them since I left that day, the memory of my hands around poor Asher's neck still makes me cringe.
I've come a long way.
I don't hold any grudges, and I have no reason to. If I can forgive myself for the terrible things I did and all the lives I took, I can forgive anyone else.
"You coming out weirdo?" Rae asked from the door. "What's on your mind?" He asks with a smirk.
"Nothing," I say with a smile and quickly shrug my jacket black leather jacket on.
I grab my bag and rush to the bathroom to fix my appearance. Reaching into the small bag I pull out my lipgloss and mascara then apply them neatly. Once I was done I let my reflection sink in.
I notice my septum piercing was slightly tilted so fixed it and ran a hand through my copper colored buzzcut.
'The Way' is a small club that people like Rae and Rose like to go to relax. I found myself growing fond of that place as well, it was almost like a different world.
At first I felt uncomfortable with the kind of people I saw there. Hipsters, misfits, and strange adults that were rejected by the world or vice versa.
In conclusion they turned out to be amazing people that taught me so much about life, including the fact that; having nothing was sometimes everything you needed.
Nothing to hold me back. Nothing to prove, no one to prove to. I learnt how to live for myself and not my demons.
Who knew a bunch of depressed 27 year olds could be the best therapists you'd ever need.
I waked out of the toilet and to the main room in the bakery. I immediately notice Rae and a short bubbly girl with dark pink hair. I immediately knew who it was.
Rose is a cute shy girl, everything about her screams delicate and fragile. This made me grow very protective of her and knowing her past, I've never felt a stronger need to.
"You got here fast," I point out catching both their attention.
She smiles and greets me with a hug, "I was already on my way," she says sheepishly.
"You need a life," Rae said jokingly as he switched off the lights.
Rose rolled her eyes, "You need a girlfriend," she snaps back.
"Already got one," Rae says, sending me a wink.
"Such a flirt," I mutter, rolling my eyes. "Let's go, I've got a pack of cigarettes calling my name," I say as I approach the door.
We all hop into Rae's black Mercedes and drive to our destination.
As I walk through the rusty metal gates and into the small building buried in the debts of the south side of the town, the cent of cigarette and vodka hit my me softly. It caressed my nostrils.
The sound of mellow indie and quiet chatter filled the atmosphere. I looked around the dim but colorful room filled with beautiful people with a smile.
"Look who came around," a mischievous voice sang. "Rae, Rosetta... and you," Beth says with smirk, I smirk back. She grabs my hand softly and pulls me away from my friends. "You haven't visited in a while. Why is that?" She asks as we settle on a bean bag in a separate room. "I missed you."
I let out a small laugh, "sure you did," she chuckles at my words. "I've been busy at work."
"I would come around and help, but I'm allergic to flour," she says, pouting her full lips playfully. Beth had such an unpredictable aura around her. She made everything feel like a wild ride and if I weren't straight, I'd be in love with her.
"How unfortunate," I say, grabbing a random bottle of root bear from the ground. It wasn't opened.
She sighs and places a light kiss on my lips before standing and adjusting her curly brown hair into a bun. I looked around the room and realized where I was. I was a private room in the building designed incredibly cute. Red clothes and cushions where everywhere, with fairly lights placed in an unorganized but appealing way. The walls were filled with graffiti art like all the other rooms in the building.
"I've never been in this room," I say as I look around.
"I know," Beth replies as she inspects her reflection. A moment of silence passes before she turns to me with a smile. She falls on the bean bag beside me as we fall into peaceful silence.
Beth didn't grow up in a fucked up home like most of the people here, but she had very controlling parents. She was pressured to be perfect and wanted nothing but to never disappoint them even though she knew she was far from it.
It slowly killed her every single day, until she cracked under the pressure and decided to leave home at eighteen. She hasn't returned since then, it's been nine years.
Somehow she found here. Somewhere she could do what she wanted and love whoever she desired.
What a world we live in.
My eyes fluttered close slowly but I was fully conscious. I love to live like this. No expectations, no disappointments, just life.
Just live.
-
When we left The Way we dropped Rose at her apartment but Rae and I drove back to the bakery, Beth also came along.
Rae drove while Beth and I sat in the back seat, she had her head on my shoulder while I stared out the open window into the dark night. It's already 10pm.
When we got to the bakery Rae and I decided to clean up the kitchen so we didn't have to in the morning while Beth waited in bakery incase a customer decided to come in. The bakery closes by midnight and even though it was unusual for customers to come in at this time, it's not impossible.
Rae and I laughed loudly, "damn girl, you're a beast," he says while I tell him about the fight I got into in the mall last week. Some girl decided to get on my nerves, and she got exactly what she deserved.
"I couldn't just let her win," I say with a smirk.
Suddenly I heard the front door's bell ring and the voice that followed.
Rae and I gave each other a look knowing fully well how rare it is to have a customer come in so late. Seconds later Beth's head popped into the room.
"Um some guy's out there and he's looking for you Bianca," Beth says, the confusion was evident in her voice. " I didn't know you had hot friends," she adds.
"You do realize I exist right?" Rae says sarcastically.
Beth turns at him with a blank stare, "yes. I do," she says.
The look on Rae's face was hilarious and very much expressed his deflated ego.
I left the two in the kitchen and made my way out, silently wondering who it could be.
When I got there I was met with a tall male figure with his back to me and his eyes on screen.
"Um, excuse me?" The man tensed as soon as he heard my voice. His head rose forcing his long black locks away from his face.
As I watched him turn his features became clearer. With every passing second I could feel my heart rate escalate right before it stopped just as I realized I was facing one of my greatest demons. The strongest weakness I ever had.
"Asher," I let out with a gasp.
He looked beautiful but also a lot older. His hair had grown to his shoulders, his face had a short, neat beard plastered on it. More tattoos seemed to peak out of his dark clothes. He seemed to have put on a lot more muscle than the last time I saw him, his plain black and grey sweatpants shirt gave that off easily.
Piercing green eyes found mine. "H-hey Bianca," he greets shyly.
It's been years since I last saw him but my body reacts the same with his presence. Looking at him gave me a lot of flashbacks and memories but nothing hurt.
I'm to far gone to find hurt in my past.
My mouth opened but I didn't even know what to say, until I did. "What are you doing here? It's been a such a long time," I say softly.
He looked shocked by the tone of my voice. It was almost as if he expected me to yell at him. "I-I came to visit. Yeah, it has been a while."
"It has," I reply. The awkward atmosphere was uncomfortable.
I noticed him take carefully steps forward till he was just a few feet away. I rolled my eyes, "I'm not going to strangle you Asher, calm down," I laugh. I notice him smile a little.
"You can't ever be too careful," he says jokingly before frowning slightly. "I just... I-"
"So who's this Bianca?" A loud voice interrupted. I turned to Beth who stood by the kitchen door. She gave Asher a harsh glare when she noticed our body language. "Isn't it a bit too late to be hitting on girls?" She snapped.
"Wait that?" Rae says walking into the room.
Asher didn't look fazed by her glares and tone. "I'm an old friend-"
"-Bianca never spoke of you," Beth snaps. I didn't know why she hated him so much and looking at her I could almost see a small glint of jealousy in her eyes.
"I never spoke of anyone, it's okay guys," I assure them. I gave Rae a look which he understood easily. He then grabbed a reluctant Beth out of the bakery to leave us both alone.
"They seem nice," Asher says sarcastically.
I chuckle, "they're better when you get to know them. I promise," I say, walking up to a table. "You were saying?"
"Oh um," he mumbles. "It's good to see you again, I... I missed you. We all did."
"Hmm," I say quietly and wait for him to keep talking.
"I just wanted to know if we're... um. Cool, you know..." he says.
"We are," I smile softly. "It's all behind us."
He seemed revealed by my answer. "That great," he nodded.
I looked down at his hands and noticed they were shaking nervously. The sight was amusing and made it easier to put the clues together.
"I said I've forgiven, not forgotten. I know what you're trying to say and it's a good thing you know not to ask like you deserve it," I tell him monotonously. "You should leave." His expression fell.
"I can't..." he says.
"Asher I'm better now. All you brought me was pain. I don't hate you, but I don't need you," I tell him. He winced at my words.
"I-I know-"
"-wonderful. You may leave now."
"Bianca it's going to be different this time," he says but I'm already walking away. He grabs my hand softly, making me turn back to him. "I left. I'm no longer part of that life. I figured out what always ruined what we had," he starts. When I seem to be listening he continues. "They always made me choose between you and the gang, it took me to let go of both to find out what I really needed."
"If you left then who's taking care of the gang?" I ask curiously.
He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter, it's none of my business anymore," he says.
"You can't just expect me to let you back into my life with open arms. We can't just continue where we left off," I tell him, my tolerance slowly leaving my body.
"Exactly. So why don't we start over?"
My mouth fell open, "I...I-"
"Remember that day years ago. In Linda's kitchen, the day before we joined that wacky high school. I told you about a clean state-"
"A new beginning," I add. I remembered that day all too well. I could almost smell the banana pancakes and hear Linda's hearty laugh.
"You're my new beginning, you make me feel brand new every time I'm with you. You give me the peace I was neglected all my life, nothing compares to that."
My heart fluttered from his words. It shocked me how strong my feelings were for him, these are feelings I never got to explore.
There was a long moment of silence, the long desperate gaze he gave me broke my heart. Before this conversation I wanted nothing to do with his heart, mine is too far gone. Love only brought me pain.
"Okay," I reply silently, my voice sounding raspy as I feel tears threaten to fall from my eyes. "But I want nothing to do with that life anymore," I tell him, the pain and trauma evident in my voice.
"I promise. It's just us this time," he tells me. The expression on his face didn't waver. I couldn't believe myself for trusting him again but I couldn't help it.
I nod, deciding to throw my doubts out the door and live in now, just like I promised myself I'd do from now on.
I stretch out my hand, "I'm Bianca Rodriguez," I smile.
He grins, showing me his dimples. I remember how rare it was for me to see them, now he showed them to me so easily.
Age heals some. Some, not all.
He takes my hand with his shaking ones.
"Asher Dane."
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AN
They're finally getting the romance they've needed for so long😭
What an ending.
I'm so sorry it's been a while for this ending but I'm here now. There's going to be one last chapter before we call it a wrap.
Thank you so much for reading and sticking around you amazing person 💛
Elizi❤️