Dedicated to @Rtroadie3
The simulation room started to feel smaller and smaller the longer we just sat there in silence, my mind racing yet neither of us had anything to say "I'm not sure what to sa-"
"Me neither"
"This was your plan" Eric jabbed semi playfully.
I nudged him with my arm, a weak smile on my face that disappeared almost as quickly as it had appeared "I'm scared to ask you what you're thinking, if it's not the answer I'm looking for, after all you just saw, I don't know what I'll do" I looked at him now, he turned his head slowly to face me but I couldn't read him, now was not the time for him to hide his thoughts from me I thought.
"At first I thought you were just... weak willed and afraid of what was necessary" I felt a lump rise in my throat as he paused, considering his next words "but I heard you bargain with Jeanine, I realised that's what it must have been like to bargain with me. And then I watched myself shoot that kid and I- your face it-"
Something in me sensed he was struggling, he was so hard headed and stubborn, admitting he was maybe possibly a little bit wrong was like swallowing glass for him. I placed my hand on his, looked deep into his eyes again and this time could see something, I could see months and months of anti-Divergent programming fighting with the morality of a 5 minute experience pulled from my subconscious, he wasn't sure where to land, which was the right path, which bowl to cut his hand and drop his blood into.
"Have I been wrong all this time?"
He was like a baby bird with a broken wing in that moment, despite his large physique, when I looked at him I saw something small and injured, a little boy who had fallen over and scraped his knee "yes... but, it's not too late to be right"
Suddenly colour filled his cheeks again, his eyes went wide and dark "it is"
"What?"
"The choosing ceremony- the injections it's all in two days"
"Eric-"
"Whoever you're helping you have to stop"
I was slightly lost for words for a second, after all that did he not change his mind? "Why are you saying this?"
"It's too late. It's not worth it!" He was stood up now, running his hands over his hair.
"I don't understand, they know how to hide in the sims-"
"Prue will you listen to me! None of it matters, okay, Erudite's plan conveniently exposes Divergence" This was the worst thing he could have told me, everything Four and I had done, everything we prepared our students for, was for nothing "they're gonna use something that won't work on a Divergent, just like the fear sims. They can't hide. So whoever you're helping is going to die and I don't want you dying with them"
I shook my head as I slowly stood up and faced away from him, this was a lot to process, but a daunting thought had just fallen upon me "everything I did was for nothing" I muttered under my breath "everything we did to stop this was- was nothing. We didn't do anything" I turned to Eric with so much raw emotion on my face I doubt he knew which one I was feeling the strongest "it's all gonna happen anyway, all the wire cutting, the microchips, the training, it wasn't anything"
"That was you? They were not happy" Eric tried a weak laugh but I didn't laugh with him.
"Not it was- it doesn't matter. We have to stop them"
"There's no way it's too late" he came to me urgently and held my chin, as if he needed to me to really see how serious this was "if they catch you they will end you, and anything you think you could do in- what is essentially the eleventh hour- is impossible, their security will be tenfold by now"
I held on to each of his wrists so he could understand my urgency, so he could feel everything as I was "I can't do nothing. Eric please. You must be able to understand that knowing what I know, means I can't do nothing. I have to try"
We stood for a moment as we considered each other and the gravity of the situation, this was so much more than we had ever dreamed of taking on when we joined this faction "you are so much braver than I ever thought you could be when I watched you jump last"
The smile that broke out from all the sadness in my expression was watery and filled with a sense of relief that Eric had finally come around, but I didn't have time to revel in this "help me then" I pleaded.
His hands caressed either side of my face, he leant down slightly as he made to press his lips to mine but I put my hand between us to stop him.
"I can't-" I stuttered "I can't think about anything but the mission right now, I'm sorry"
"Don't be. I understand. This doesn't-" he swallowed something in his throat as he went to move away but put his hands back where they were on my face "it doesn't change anything, does it?"
I regretted kissing him before, now. I regretted telling him I'd always love him even though it was the truth, because all in all I knew after I had done it and said those things, and even when I shot him in the sim and cried beside him, that I wasn't ready to let him back in yet. I thought I was, but the severity of the situation had leant a matureness that I wasn't sure I possessed until that moment when we were both in the sim.
"I still hurt you" I placed my hands on his and allowed a few stray tears to escape my eyes "no matter how much we try and say it's just what Dauntless do- it- I, crossed a line"
This was everything I had hoped for after that fight, that he see things my way and see what he had done wrong, I never imagined that when he did it would be when I felt like I had no room for love.
There was only the coming tragedy. And my desperate need to stop it.
"We should gather the others. Come up with some kind of plan, if you're determined to do this, you can't do it alone" He said as he finally stepped away, crest fallen.
"You mean we can't do this alone, right?"
Something in me that knew Eric and had had his hands wrapped around my throat didn't entirely trust him. A voice on my shoulder was suspicious that he might just be spying for his side. "Yes. We. You can trust me"
Despite that little voice I agreed that we had to gather the rest, he went ahead to the leaders meeting room to make sure it was free and keep anyone else out of it, while I went to gather a very very suspicious group of cohorts.
They were only suspicious when Four was the first to step into the meeting room and see Eric sitting at the table, he looked alarmed and then at me, he saw I wasn't surprised or alarmed at all and therefore knew he was there. He had turned around straight away saying "no. Absolutely not. Tris, we're leaving"
The others hovered at the door to see what Four was getting hysterical about, they too saw Eric and were hesitant to enter "I'm sorry I couldn't tell any of you, you wouldn't have come if I had"
"Too right we wouldn't!" Four exclaimed as I rushed to him from the meeting room "you aren't stupid enough to believe that he's... changed are you?" He spat out 'changed' like it tasted bitter, and the word stupid seemed to linger in the air between us, even Tris was slightly taken aback.
"Four..." she mumbled, making to touch his arm but he pulled away.
"No! There's no way she's serious"
I didn't know how I could convince him "I was a Candor for most of my life, you know I can't lie for shit. So stop being a stubborn prick, look at me, and know that I believe he's on our side now" the both of us knew even I had some doubts, but we also knew "we need him" and that was what mattered right now.
Z was behind Four listening to every word, explaining to her what I knew about Divergents, Abnegation, Erudite, the truth behind my breakup as quickly as possible in her apartment before convincing her to help, naturally left her feeling uneasy and like maybe she couldn't trust me, considering I hadn't told her about something so important "he might betray us" she said.
"He might. But honestly I can't see how it'll get any worse if he does"
The rest of them fell silent as they looked behind me and I heard in a deep voice "whether you wanna trust me or not I don't care. I'm here for Prue. I was wrong. It's not too late to be right" I half smiled, I wonder what sexy genius told him that.
Four moved past me and squared up to Eric, they were staring each other down "I think you're full of shit. Leader"
Eric's upper lip twitched, he wanted so bad to just punch him, I could tell, we all knew that look "I don't care. I only care about her" Four looked at me now, sniffed through his nose defiantly and pushed past Eric into the meeting room.
As the others filed in I grabbed Drake to yell at him "you couldn't have said something?" Well I was half yelling half joking.
He punched my arm half heartedly as he made to walk into the meeting room "I knew you had it handled"
I sighed as Leanne walked past behind Drake and she touched my shoulder to instil confidence and reassurance. Z walked in next, then Eli who had overheard us and insisted he join, then it was just Tris who lingered behind, staring through the doorway at the group of people gathering around the large table "what's up?"
"You really trust him?"
I considered my answer "I do. If he betrays us- I'll kill him myself"
There's no real schedule to this uploading process, I'm literally just doing it when I write it, I hope you guys have enjoyed this one and the last one. It's been really lovely to read the kind and understanding comments.