Y/N POV-
The perfect engagement dinner is something I've never thought about, to be totally honest I've never even thought about a wedding.
I know most people think about growing up they picture the tuxes and the white dresses but isn't the idea of standing up in front of hundreds of people confessing love to the whole world a little pointless when the only person who needs to know is the person you actually love.
A few rings and a legal piece of paper isn't love nor is it the be-all and end-all. One in four marriages ends in divorce. 70% of married Americans cheat at least once in their marriage.
So, what I'm saying is a lot of people assume marriage means in sickness and in health, a vow to be loyal and a promise to love someone for the rest of their life and more often than not they break those promises so in conclusion what's the point ?
In my opinion, it's a waste of money.
However, despite my lack of knowledge on the engagement dinner topic, I do know that inviting your ex-girlfriend is a bad idea. Inviting your 'dirty mistress' however, is undoubtedly one hundred thousand times worse and yet I'm still going.
I'm calling it self-torture, at least if I'm hurting myself I have control over the hurt, right?
"You know you really didn't have to cancel your date to come with me," I say as I twirl around showing off my outfit to my date.
"Don't even worry about it... wow you look hot," Maria complements.
"Too hot, inappropriately hot or just hot enough?" I ask self-consciously.
"You know I don't ask questions about your personal life because it's none of my business but naturally I kinda pick up on things so I know this night isn't going to be easy on you but for the record, you look incredible, just the right amount of hot," she smiles sweetly.
"Well thank you for not asking questions because I can not begin to describe to you everything that's happened," I laugh in an attempt to brush off the embarrassing self-reminder of the chaos I've caused.
"Okay we're going to make the most of tonight, I won't ask questions and I won't pry but if you do want to talk, you can," she smiles.
"Thank you."
"No worries," she nods.
"I asked you to drop your plus one for me I'm so sorry."
She laughs, "Y/N you saved me from an awkward date with someone I don't know all that well. You need me and I'm more than happy to be here for you, friends are friends for a reason."
I take in a deep breath as I nod my head, "if you're sure."
"I'm sure," she says sternly a light hint of playfulness in her tone.
"Well if I've not mentioned it already, you look incredible," I compliment her.
Maria smooths over her red dress cut just above her knee "I'm glad you like it."
I look between the two of us noticing that we'd unintentionally coordinated, my red lace bodysuit somehow being just the right shade of red to match her dress. Of course, I cover such a scandalous piece with black tight black tapered trousers and naturally, a matching blazer.
"Look at us all matching," she laughs after having also noticed our coordination.
"I can change if you'd like," I offer.
She shakes her head, "no don't I like this colour on you."
"Thank you. So, are you ready to go?" I ask.
"I'm good, the question is are you?"
I take in a deep breath, I'm absolutely not okay. I have nothing prepared, no idea of how to cope in front of their displays of affection and even worse I'm supposed to figure out how to smile and nod through it all.
"Yes I'm ready," I lie.
Maria offers to drive the two of us more so with the understanding that I'd need a drink or two to make it through the night than her actually wanting to drive.
I sit in the car restlessly taping my leg up and down on the floor of the car anxiously going over all the possibilities tonight could go wrong and of course, like you expect there are many.
1. Somehow at some point I'm left alone with Wanda and I have to have an awkward conversation about the fact she's marrying someone who I cheated on her with.
2. If I'm left alone with Natasha, no doubt forcing all my feelings to rise up, I'll end up being drowned in guilt for my curse of an incredible imagination.
3. I see them both together all happy and in love and I'm so kindly reminded of how embarrassingly alone I am.
4. I cry, I really wouldn't let that happen because my ego wouldn't let me cry in front of the two of them but quite literally anything could happen so I'd like to be prepared.
This list could go on forever but I'd rather not get into the weirder scenarios my mind has contoured.
I feel Maria's hand pushing down on my thigh signalling me to stop my agitated behaviour.
"You need to relax," she laughs to lighten the mood.
"I don't know what you know about our situation nor am I sure I'd like to know what you know but this is not something I can just 'relax' about."
She sighs as she briefly looks over at me before looking back onto the road. "I know you dated Wanda and I know you- I know you cheated on her with Natasha," she says awkwardly, "you probably had your reasons and there's no judgment here I've made my fair amount of mistakes."
"My reasons are probably worse than me actually cheating but I'd prefer it if we didn't get into it." Discussing the contract with Maria is the last thing I want to do right now. After coming back and seeing everyone the only 'friend' I've got is Maria, opposed to the few employees I'd become close with while working with Carol.
I can't class Natasha as a friend, we already established that and I'm way too bothered by confrontation to talk to Wanda. General pleasantries are about as far as my conversation with Wanda ever goes. Simple waves and smiles as I head to meetings with Natasha and that's about it.
I wouldn't want to burden Maria with the complexities of the contact or the toxicity of any of my relationships not when she's this evenings save and grace. If she hadn't cancelled her date I'd be attending this dinner alone and that'd just ampilify the embarrassment of tonight.
Not that many people know about our situation but I know so even if the rest of the world is oblivious I'll still feel every ounce of embarrassment and envy there is to be had.
"Either way I know you, you're not a bad person and I can't even begin to understand what this feels like for you, dinner with the ex's," she says softly.
"Not just dinner, an engagement dinner," I joke, though the sadness in my tone prevents Maria from seeing it that way.
"We could skip, I could call up a restaurant and get us a reservation. If you don't want to go you don't have to," she shrugs.
"They asked me to go, it'd be rude if I didn't attend maybe they'd understand my reasons but you, you're their friend so you have to go and I asked you to cancel your date for me so no I won't skip and I won't make you attend alone."
She laughs "you're really hung up on the fact I cancelled my date for you. Y/N I'd do it any day I've missed you not being here. I'm pretty sure we can walk in, say hi to everyone, sneak off somewhere and catch up till dinner starts."
I nod my head "that offer doesn't sound so bad."
"Well we're here now," Maria nods in the direction of a house, a beautiful house might I add. I'd realised earlier that we'd driven out of the city but a house in the suburbs was something I least expected from Natasha, Wanda maybe but definitely not Natasha.
My only assumption is that both Natasha and Wanda sold their apartments before they agreed to move in together. Now, I've never seen Natasha's place so for all I know this is her actual house but to say this place is out of character would be an understatement.
A four maybe five-bedroom house, a well kept front yard and three cars on the driveway one being Natasha's one being Wanda's and another I've never seen before.
This isn't the house of a top of the range lawyer this is a home of a sweet family of four with a golden retriever.
It's the kind of house you picture young children running around outside of, the white picket fence house of the ideal American family.
With their combined salary I'd expected a mansion or something braggy for Natasha. When I first met that woman she had drivers drive her down the street and dropped thousands on hotels for business trips and now she lives in a sweet humble home with her perfect fiance.
"They live here?" I question still in shock.
"They moved in just before they got engaged," Maria explains as she parks the car.
"Oh, it's a nice place," I force a smile.
She holds my hand squeezing it comfortingly "everything will be fine, it'll be over before you know it."
"umhum," I hum.
I take a deep breath to prepare myself before I get out of the car.
I've got this, right?
Three knocks on the tall dark oak door and the handle clicks, the door opens.
Natasha.
"Hi," I force a smile, something I have a feeling I'll be doing all night.
She smiles back "did either of you bring plus-ones?"
Maria laughs "no we brought each other is that okay?"
"Oh," Natasha nods "okay... well come in then." She steps back giving us room to walk through the front door. My shoulder brushes against hers as I walk past her.
Breathe in, breathe out and relax... nope still anxious, wonderful.
"Both of you can go straight through to the living room," Natasha tells us. I stand close to Maria closely following her to the living room. I can hear the faint chatter of the other guests but above all the noise I can hear Wanda's laugh, I'd recognise her laugh from a mile away.
As soon as the both of us walk through the living room door Wanda's eyes follow in our direction. She quickly stands up from her seat on the sofa. "What do you both want to drink?" She asks.
"Whatever's open," I tell her.
Maria nods her head "the same is fine for me."
--
Waiting around for dinner was fine, I hid off in a corner with Maria just like planned but by the time the actual dinner rolled around I had no choice but to face the two of them.
I'm currently sitting at the dining table, Maria by my side every so often turning her head to check I'm still holding up just fine.
"So have you guy's picked a date?" One of the other guests asks.
"Not just yet, I liked the idea of something closer to the autumn or winter though..." Wanda smiles as she begins to explain her plans for the wedding. I start to drown out her voice as she starts talking about dresses and bridesmaids.
"Sounds really nice," I say sweetly not entirely sure as to what I was completing.
Wanda nods her head smiling.
"I know it's early but you have a lovely house here wouldn't it be nice having some kids around?" Another guest asks.
I put my fork down quickly fairly certain that if I took another bite I'd throw up.
Wanda looks at Natasha, the two of them look at me as I look away. "I- umm- I guess we haven't thought about it too much," Wanda explains. "It's pretty early," Natasha adds.
Maria pushes her hand on my thigh under the table calming my leg that I hadn't realised had been anxiously bouncing away again.
"You okay?" She whispers quietly to avoid anyone else hearing.
"umhum." I hum.
"Don't you think kids would look lovely running around with a football outside or something?" The guest from earlier speaks up.
Wanda places her hand over her stomach toying with the fabric on her blouse as she smiles looking at Natasha "I guess one day kids would be nice."
Natasha laughs lowly "what you'd really want a little version of me running around?"
"Common a little Natasha would be so cute, with your red hair and green eyes. They'd be really cute." Wanda playfully hits Natasha's arm.
Natasha smiles more, her eyes twinkling as she looks at her fiancé longingly "They would, wouldn't they."
My stomach turns.
Kids, Natasha and Wanda with kids. The thought burns through my mind snapping me into the realism of the situation. They love each other, they always will, always have and one day they're going to have a family and I'm not apart of that family for either of them and that's the reality. That's life and it hurts like a bitch.
I politely excuse myself from the table to go and stand outside, desperate to get away from the claustrophobic atmosphere inside. I felt like I was practically choking on my emotions brewing inside me.
I lean back against the wall outside of the house, slowly breathing to calm myself down.
"Hey."
I turn my head to see Wanda standing beside me. "Oh hi."
"What was all that about?" She asks.
"Nothing. What was what about?" I ask.
"You leaving? Y/N is everything okay?"
"Wanda I'm fine I just needed some air that's all," I say sharply.
"Y/N could you just come back inside? My friends are here, my brother is here people are asking why you just walked out please come back inside."
I take in a deep breath "I just need a minute please just let me have a second."
"This is my engagement dinner could you come back we'll finish the meal and then you can take you can take all the time you need out here," she sighs.
"Exactly Wanda this is your engagement dinner you're talking about dresses and babies, I can't listen to this. You were my girlfriend, Natasha and I- we- you know the situation surely you understand why this is difficult." I practically yell at her out of frustration.
"You don't get to be upset you abandoned me."
My heart starts racing as I feel my blood boil "It's not like I could stay, I hurt you, I hurt Natasha. Seeing you both every day would only hurt me and maybe that's selfish but I did what I had to do."
Tears start building up in her eyes as she speaks "you chose not to call or text, you chose to just let me go because staying here and dealing with the situation was too hard. You gave up, you left and you walked away from me. You didn't even try to fight for me. Now you're back here in my life so you have to suck it up for one night please."
"I'm sorry for that and I don't deserve your sympathy but you've moved on. You had Natasha, I had nobody. You have no idea what it was like for me. I made this mess but you don't get to pretend that I'm not hurting. You're engaged you got your happy ending, I didn't... it's not like you called me either, what am I even doing being invited to this."
Nobody, not even Natasha during our late night talks in her office knows how I felt for those two years.
She looks at me for a moment almost feeling sorry for me, I can see the twinkle of sorrow glistening in her eyes. "I wanted you here, I wanted to see you but happy ending, what about this is happy?"
"I wish, more than you realise, that I could wake up one day and be back where I was two years ago and I'd never have made those mistakes but I can't Wanda. I still care so much about you both, I always did but I can't watch you both build your happy family, so you can't invite me to engagement dinners or your wedding."
"All I ever wanted was for you to stay. So please come back inside and this time stay, don't leave, just stay."
I tuck her hair behind her ear "I never wanted to hurt you and I never wanted to leave you but it was the only thing I could do."
Her breath hitches in her throat as my finger graze against her cheek as I pull away "I miss you. I've wanted to tell you for so long but I miss you," she whispers.
I look over her perfect features as I smile "I'm genuinely sorry for leaving you."
"So please just come back inside, stay at least till dinner is over," she pleads.
"Fine."
Let the engagement dinner continue...
A/N- queue Taylor Swift- all you had to do was stay. As always I'm late uploading and I really dislike this chapter but on all seriousness vote who do you want Natasha Wanda or both, you have to have a plausible reasoning behind picking the character or characters though otherwise I can't write it.
(UNEDITED)
Y'all will just have to deal with the mistakes bc this sucks but it's late and you've all been waiting xox
Does anything I've written make sense or would you rather I just redo the entire chapter with the same kinda concept?