It was 7.36 PM and my nerves were so bad my leg refused to stop bouncing, even after I smacked my knee against the glove compartment.
Well, at least until Noah lightly pressed his palm against my knee. I stared at him in surprise, and he glanced back at me as one corner of his lips quirked up before shaking his head.
"You'll hurt yourself if you keep that up," he said, and a second or two later removed his hand again. "In case I need to point it out again, I'm not actually taking you somewhere remote to murder you, and yes, I am aware you have the Find My Friends app."
After looking at him for a few more seconds, I just motioned my hand toward the dirt and passing trees around us.
Noah chuckled and shrugged. "Never said I wasn't taking you somewhere remote."
Right. Just that he wouldn't murder me. Phew, what a relief.
Only currently, my biggest worry was being alone with him in a remote area, rather than the fear of having my organs sold on the black market. And yet after leaving the populated areas of town, he kept driving for another 15 minutes.
"You know, we could do something simple like oh, I don't know, go to the movies, get some fast food, stuff like that," I muttered, trying to figure out where he could be taking me, but nothing we passed by seemed familiar. Knowing him it was definitely not going to be anything ordinary.
"Where's the fun in that?" he said, and I heard the gentle hum of laughter in his voice.
"I'm getting the feeling that you have a thing against an ordinary existence." I narrowed my eyes, trying to see his expression.
His brows furrowed for a second before he shrugged.
"Life's too short for ordinary. So much to do, so little time." His voice still sounded upbeat, even though I was sure I saw a flicker of pain flash across his face.
"I mean, 80 or 90 years doesn't seem so little to me," I said and watched his hands clench against the wheel.
"Not everyone has that kind of time," he countered and sighed, running a hand through his hair.
His tone lost its upbeat note, becoming sober and withdrawn, and the loss I felt at that made me regret bringing up the subject. In my defense, I didn't really think it was a topic that would cause that kind of reaction. One part of me, the part growing smaller each day, insisted I'd finally struck a nerve and should keep digging. The other part of me, the part that didn't like the painful expression on his face, shot that idea down without even entertaining it.
That wasn't me. I wasn't the kind of person that would poke someone's open wound with a stick. I was the person that would help you bandage it and help it heal.
At least, that's who I used to be, before my pride and anger got me into this mess.
Now, I wasn't even sure who I was anymore. A person capable of hurting others? A person that would date someone just to reveal their secrets to the world?
I didn't expect Noah to be such a decent guy, let alone one that I kind of almost got along with him. The type of guy that swats my shield of sarcasm away as if it's an annoying mosquito. A part of me was still hoping for the other shoe to drop. For him to show me that he was, in fact, the kind of guy I painted him out to be in my head.
"Here we are," he said, turning right onto a dirt road and breaking me out of my downward spiral.
I stared ahead, my eyes wide as I recognized what we were driving toward.
A variety of exotic, luscious trees and plants, like a magical oasis, rose up behind a fence in front of us. I couldn't remember the last time I visited a botanical garden.
Noah lowered his window as we approached the gate and nodded with a bright smile on his face.
"How's it going, Carl?"
I bent down to see who he was talking to. An older looking man in a beige uniform smiled back at him and shrugged.
"Same ol', same ol', kiddo," he said before focusing on something in front of him. A second later the gate in front of us let out a loud creaking noise and slowly opened. "Y'all have fun now but be out by 10, ya' hear?
"Sure thing, Carl. Thanks."
Noah drove through the gate, onto a small parking area, and stopped the car before turning to face me.
My mouth was still gaping open, eyes fixed on the jungle we just drove into.
"Surprised?" Noah said, a chuckle in his voice. I was pretty sure my usual hazel eyes were replaced by question marks as I turned to face him.
"I'll take that as a yes." He stepped out of the car, and I struggled to unlock my seatbelt as I tried to push down my shock.
This was too much for me. This wasn't how dating normally went. It just couldn't be.
I stumbled out of the car, almost falling onto the ground as I got caught on the seatbelt. This darn car safety was going to get me killed one day. Balancing myself again, I straightened up and stared at him, grimacing.
Noah stared back, raising one eyebrow in confusion. "What? Don't like it?"
My mouth opened and closed several times, the entire english alphabet just gibberish in my head.
"Why do you always have to be so... extra?" And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the first thing I said once I found my voice.
Noah grinned, pressing his lips together to probably keep from laughing at me. "Is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?"
I was going to definitively say it was one hundred percent an insult, but then my eyes focused beyond him and onto the gorgeous scenery. The flowers and plants in colors I'd only ever seen on the internet or in books. Trees that were so tall and unique it was hard to keep your gaze focused on just one.
It was beautiful. Impossibly so.
I guess it made sense that this impossible boy brought me here.
"I-I don't know," I sighed, kicking a small rock with my foot in frustration.
"Compliment it is." He chuckled and walked up to stand in front of me, holding out his hand.
As soon as I placed my hand in his, he entwined our fingers and started tugging me along down a path, as if he'd been here hundreds of times before.
"I'm guessing you've been here before?"
A dumb question considering his convicion as we walked and the fact he was on a first name basis with what I assumed was the security guard.
"What gave it away?" He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
Alright, guess I brought that one onto myself. But, still...
"Smartass," I muttered under my breath, rolling my eyes.
He surprised me by commenting, "You know it."
I looked at him, my eyebrows raised, and it was then that I realized how relaxed he looked. More at ease than I'd ever seen him, in this gorgeous garden he knew as the back of his hand.
When he caught me staring at him, his eyes softened and he smiled. My traitor heart started jumping erratically in my chest, heat rushing from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.
"You ready for a question?"
"Mhm." I mumbled and cleared my throat, coughing awkwardly.
"If you were able to live to the age of 90 and keep either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?" he asked, and then raised his empty hand into the air. "I'll go first since you went last time."
Nodding at him, I extended my hand to touch a velvety looking bush we were walking by. It did not disappoint, the softness giving me a small jolt of joy. Sometimes it was the little things that made you happy.
Noah seemed to be in thought for a few seconds, rubbing his hand along his jaw, which made it hard to keep my focus from realizing how sharp and attractive his jawline actually was.
"I would choose body. I mean, look at all of this."
And then he went and said something like that.
All the attraction I felt suddenly becoming void as I stared at him in shock. He looked back at me, face stoic and serious.
First came the shock. Then came the disbelief. After that, realization settled and satisfaction came with it.
I knew it. I knew this guy had some kind of flaw at least, even if that flaw was the fact that he was superficial. Just as I felt an incoming victory smile come onto my lips, Noah burst into laughter.
"I'm kidding. Your face was priceless, though. Looked like you went through the whole spectrum of emotion."
Suddenly it felt like a flaming inferno had made a home out of my cheeks. This freaking guy.
"Ya' know what, from now on, I hope all the chocolate chips in your cookies turn out to be raisins." I pulled my hand out of his and glared at him.
"Hey, hey, no need to go that far, Skyler," he said through laughter, raising his hands up in defense.
Giving an indignant snort, I angrily stomped away from him. Noah's laughter still echoed behind me before I heard his footsteps follow after me.
I increased my pace. He increased his. Soon my brisk walk turned into a run with Noah chasing after me. The fact that I was making his sweat brought a smile to my face. The fact that I was making myself sweat as well was less than great, however.
About fifteen seconds after our little run started, I felt Noah's arms wrap around my waist from behind me and he pulled me to a halt. Right against his very hard and clearly well sculpted chest.
His rapid inhale and exhale of breath brushed against the side of my head and sent pleasant shivers down my spine. I knew my own breath was equally fast as well, my heart rate skyrocketing. Because of the run, of course, not the boy behind me.
"Phew, you're fast," he said and I felt him shake his head. The hold on my waist lessened but his hands were still planted on my hips.
I stayed quiet, focusing my eyes somewhere ahead of me to stop myself from looking up at him.
"Hey, I'm sorry, I was just messin' around." His hand tightened around my waist and before I could react he spun me around to face him.
Before I could stop myself my eyes collided with his and my breath hitched.
"Seriously, I'm sorry." The sincerity in his voice made me realize he thought I was genuinely mad at him, which I wasn't. Having him chase after me had been kind of fun, actually. Not that I would ever admit that though.
"It's fine. I'm not actually upset." More like annoyed that he plays me so easily, like a tune he's known his whole life.
The bright smile on his face made it both hard to look at him and impossible to look away. I swallowed hard, as his hands released my hips and his right hand entwined with my left again.
"I'd also choose mind," I blurted out quickly, trying to shake away this moment that was turning too intimate for comfort.
"Figured you would." Noah nodded with a smirk, and I looked away, licking my lips as I contemplated whether I should say anything more.
"There's a reason why though," I finally mumbled, and Noah tilted his head, eyebrows raised in expectation. Welp, no backing out now.
"My, uh, before she died, my grandma had dementia," I said, looking down at my feet and felt Noah's soft hand squeeze mine in support. "It was hard, seeing her become a shell of who she once was. She would regress back to childhood a lot, tell stories I'd already heard a dozen times, but it was nice because they made her smile."
My throat clenched at the memory and I had to swallow to continue. Even though it had been almost four years since she'd been gone, I still missed her.
"Near the end, she... she didn't recognize me anymore. But she still liked being around me, I still made her happy. It was like she still felt like she knew me even though she didn't remember it."
"I'm sorry that happened, Sky. You know, you don't have to talk about this..." Noah sounded genuinely concerned and I lifted my eyes to him, shaking my head.
"It's okay. I like thinking about her, even though it's sad sometimes. That whole thing made me think about a lot of stuff too." I said, and my heart warmed at how gentle his face looked.
"Stuff like?" he asked, giving my hand another comforting squeeze.
"I don't know. Things like who are we without our mind? If all the stuff we live through, all the memories we have, are what make us who we are, then who do we become if we lose that?"
"Did you ever find the answers?" Noah's voice was quiet, serious, as if I was about to tell him some incredible secret to life. If that was what he was expecting he was going to be sorely disappointed.
"The answer I found... was that sometimes there is no answer to things." I said, and shrugged, a small smile on my face. "But, one thing I did realize... is that feelings are so much stronger than anything else in life. Emotions can transcend time and memories."
"That's some deep shit, Sky."
"I know, right? I'm totes ready for my TED talk. No photos please, sir," I said, trying to lighten the mood as I pursed my lips into a ridiculous kissy face.
Noah laughed and shook his head, but as we started walking again, his hand felt a little tighter against mine, and the distance between us just a little smaller.
Hi lovelies! ❤️
So, omg, I kind of loved this chapter? It was so much fun to write it and I'm so happy we're approaching the middle of the book albeit slowly. I estimate another 25ish chapters until we're done, but hey, I'm always the slowest in the middle.
How did you like this chapter? What did you think?
Also, I'd like to take this chance to assure you that all my books have happy endings so, ya know, if some things made you worry... that's okay but also you won't be crying (sad tears, at least) at the end of the book.
How has your September been so far? I've been super sick the last 5 days so even though I planned for this chapter to be out by Friday... welp, it didn't happen, haha. I'm sorry. 🥲
ALSO HERE'S QUESTION TIMEEEE.
7. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
I would choose mind. Actually, as you might already know if you read my other book (MMIQ) or you've been following me for a while, I put a lot of myself in my books, and sometimes I base events on stuff that happened to me in real life. So the story Skyler told... is kind of my story too. My grandma died a few days before my 18th birthday, and for a year or so before that she started having dementia. Since my mom (her daughter) died when I was young, that was a particularly painful memory for her so she forgot that my mom existed... and subsequently, she forgot about me and my sister as well. It was sometimes hard to see her ask my aunt who I was when I visited her, but she still had a big smile when we spent time together and would always comment what a nice 'young lady' I was, and thank me for visiting... It was bittersweet. ❤️
Absolutely no judgement to anyone that would choose body though, I mean, life would probably be soooo much easier if you always looked 30. 😂 I mean, Skyler was judgy but that's because it was Noah and she was just looking for something not to like about him, haha.
BUT YEAH, moving on...
I hope all of you are having a nice September so far, and that the rest of the week will be lovely as well. I'll try and have another update ready for you this week since I have the rest of their date planned.
Love you all, stay strong and stay safe! ❤️