6:38 P.M
I look at this build. This should be the last one before our votes are counted. I feel pretty confident in my build. It came down to the wire, but I finished it. The theme was Fruit Bowl.
This build is two-dimensional but cute. I decide the vote ok on it. Not to seem arrogant, but I'm pretty sure mine was the best. Oh, it's loading.
I got first. Let me-
"241? I feel like that's pretty high?" I exit the queue for my next game. I know that a score like that is pretty good. It's probably one of my by scores I've ever gotten. I look at chat.
geroegspufey: THATS REALLY HIGH
can_dice_: Y/N THAT'S LIKE LEADERBOARD HIGH
"Wait really??" I laugh. I click a few times to get to my browser. Build Battle record. I click on the first link I see. Oh shit. "250 is the highest?" I ask, still shocked. I try to lower my eyebrows. I click back to the stream and enter just chatting mode.
That is the best score I've ever had. Best Build Battle player? I mean, I'm not first so maybe not, but one can hope. I knew my build was good, but it's crazy unlikely for people to honestly vote like that.
My phone rings, but it also pops up on my computer. My first instinct is to roll my eyes, which I have trouble stopping. "Wait, Dream's calling me."
"You're a tryhard." He says to me. This time I can't seem to stop myself and I do roll my eyes. I scoff and lean forward. "You can't even let me have my moment," I say softly.
"You're a cheater." My head jolts up and I sit straight. That's some comment for him to make. I squint my eyes and look straight into the camera. "Okay, Mr. One in Seven Trillion," I say snidely.
He laughs and doesn't make a comeback. Yeah, that's what I thought.
"You're still a sweat." Okay nevermind. "Yes because your midair boat clutch didn't break a sweat." I purse my lips.
He chuckles and takes a sip of his drink. "You couldn't do that no matter how much sweat you.. Secreted." He had trouble coming up with the word. Strange word choice even then. I cock an eyebrow.
"Yes, and you can't build yourself a house?" I respond. "I have a house!" He laughs a bit louder. A tinge of irritation in the sound. I grin at that fact.
"Whatever, you said it yourself. You couldn't do that boat thing again if you tried it a thousand times." I cross my arms over my chest. Oh fuck. Did I reveal myself?
The time he takes to think about that terrifies me. "You watch my behind-the-scenes videos?" He asks me hesitantly. I roll my eyes and rest my head on my desk. "No, I-"
"You watch my behind-the-scenes videos." His voice is coy or kittenish on the outside, but the egotism and hubris are clear as day to me. "I don't!" I lie.
He grins and calls me out continuously.
"You're a Dream stan." He says confidently. "Except for that, I'm not." My hands shoot up. "Embrace it."
I am not a Dream stan. I can't be. He's my friend so I can't be a Dream stan. Espousing something about myself that isn't true would be wrong.
"I love my fandom. I love my stans." He tells me. My eyes narrow. "So if I'm a stan, which I'm not, and you love your stans..." I taper off.
His silence seems to be more tongue-tied, flustered, or inarticulate rather than dumbstruck or aghast. I smirk and stare straight into my camera. "Dream?" I smile openly.
He's screwed in this argument. Either say I'm not a stan or say he loves me. "I guess..." I tilt my chin to the right a bit. "I guess?" I coo. He clears his throat.
"Spit it out." I rest my chin on my hand.
"I guess I love you." He groans. I smile and look down towards my keyboard. Surprised he'd admit that over the not stanning thing.
WAIT SHIT.
I look up and widen my eyes. I then make my smile smaller on purpose. Shit, that's going to get clipped out of context.
'I guess I love you' then y/n looks down shyly? Yeah hell no. "Don't clip that." He says. "Yeah don't." They'll clip it regardless. Getting clipped out of context happens too often.
I look at chat. Oh yay! "Oh shit, you guys are right!" I say cheerfully. "What?" Dream asks me. I pull my cursor over to the top right of my screen. "Follower goal!" I giggle.
I hit 750,000 followers on Twitch. "Three big moments for you at once." He says happily. I raise an eyebrow. I sit back in my seat. "Three?" I lay my chin on my palm. He lets out a nice big breath.
"750k followers." Yeah..?
"High Build Battle score." Yeah...?
"Okay..?" I mumble, still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I guess it's the third shoe to drop. He hesitates for suspense. "The best Minecraft player admits his love for you online. Obviously the best plus of it all."
I roll my eyes and my head drops back. I let out an exasperated and annoyed groan. "Yeah sure." I move my arms behind my head and lean back.
He clears his throat. "So you love me too?" He asks. I smirk and stare straight into the camera. I remain completely silent. "Hello?" He calls.
I lean back a bit more. "Y/n?" I guess he doesn't get that I'm ignoring him. I grin devilishly. "I'll take your smile as a yes." He says proudly. "Sure." I tilt my head.
"Wait, really?" He sounds genuine. It causes my eyes to widen slightly. Before I can perk up I regain my self-awareness. "Sure." I lay my head on my hand. My elbow against the arm of my chair. "Y/n,"
"I'm serious."
My skin goes cold and I feel goosebumps rise. My knee moves up closer to my chest. "Sure." I brush it off, but the lying may be clear. "Stop saying that!" He chuckles. My heart races a million miles a minute.
That fucking chuckle.
I raise my eyebrows and look to the side. "I love you Dream." I can't look at the camera as I say it. It's so stupid how much I trust him. So unlike me.
This guy is tearing my walls down and I don't even know how to begin thanking him. Why would someone so kind and so sweet spend all his time on me? Maybe it's luck, or something more...
Shut up y/n. You don't even know what you're talking about.
"What time is it?" I ask. He clicks once. "7:00." He says. I click my tongue to the roof of my mouth a few times. "I haven't eaten since lunch. I could order something and watch some video or something..." I say and chat seems to like the idea.
"Or you could get real food, stop playing on a good note?" He suggests. I grin and shake my head then look down at my lap.
"No thanks. Dad." I laugh. He goes really quiet. I guess he didn't really think it was funny.
7:29
"Please never call me dad." I click out of Twitch one last time. The stream's been over for a few minutes now. I switch to discord. "What? Why?" I laugh and lean back.
He goes quiet. "Clay?" My smile fades. "I've never heard you talk about your dad. Just your mom." He says.
He can't say it plainly, as I haven't. At what point in an online friendship do you tell them about your nonexistent father? Considering I've told him everything else, it probably should have happened already.
"Go ahead. Say it." My voice shakes. I move my chair closer to the desk. I tap my fingers on the desk. My eyes begin to water. "Y/n, you know that I can't." He sighs.
"I don't have a dad, so what? I can't make jokes about-"
"I don't want you to make jokes about me being like someone who abandoned you!"
I stare blankly at the screen. The green circle disappears. I stop tapping my finger. We sit silently for too long. "I said I wasn't leaving and I don't want to be associated with someone did."
I sniffle. "You're so cheesy, it was- ah- a joke." I choke up. He laughs and lays his head on his desk. "Are you okay?" I wipe my eyes. "Are you?" He asks.
"I'm fucked up, probably always will be, but I'm okay." I chuckle. "Oh come on, you're not so bad." He says.
"Okay let's see. No dad, all my friends are gone or dead,"
"I'm alive and here." He corrects me. "Oh, I'm sorry. No dad, all my childhood friends are gone or dead. I don't even know what my only friend looks like." I cross my arms. "Oh, that's not fair..."
"Why not?" I ask. "You're not friends with Sap and George?" He gets a laugh out of me. "I'm sorry, who?" I giggle. He begins to laugh louder. "I'm sorry my best friend, not my only friend."
Our laughter dies down. "Are you upset that I haven't shown you my face?" In all sincerity. He sounds completely sincere. "What?" I smile. He sighs nervously.
"I'm sorry. I know you've told me everything that's going on with you and I can't grant you what I look like. I'm- I'm just really-"
"Clay. Stop."
"No. Fuck no. I have to apologize because I can't give you something so simple because-"
"Clay, stop." I calm my voice. He stops talking and I sigh. "You haven't shown me your face, and maybe it sucks a little bit. Sure. But all that horrible stuff about myself I've told you, I wouldn't have ever gotten through it without you." I tell him.
He sighs with relief and places his hands on his desk. "I love you." He says. "I love you too." My cheeks turn pink. I hate it when my face does that. Doesn't even make sense why.
"You're so selfless." He says shakily. "Right back at you," I tell him with a big smile. My mind clouds with the thought of my stupid face and the stupid coloring. Fuck okay, I need to ask someone, I ask him everything else so why not this?
"Clay..?" I card my hands into my hair. "Yeah, what's up?" He asks, voice now normal. I look down at my desk. "What is it like to have feelings for someone?" I ask.
"Uh-"
"You don't have to answer. I'm just a tad inexperienced in that department. How many twenty-year-olds do you know who haven't been in a real relationship before?" I laugh and smile down at myself.
Clay sighs and thinks for a moment. "I guess when you have feelings for someone it's like you need them. They're what you think about, the person you go to when you need help. And you'd put your life on hold for them like they would for you."
"And when you're in love... It's like that but extreme. They consume your every thought. When you think something is funny you look for that person to see if they think it's funny too. You pay more attention when their name is mentioned. You wouldn't just put your life on hold, you'd stop the world from turning if you had to. Because that's how much you need that person."
Surely that's just his interpretation. There's one way to check. "Does your face turn red when they compliment you?" I ask. Maybe it's too blatant as to why I ask. "Yeah. Probably." He chuckles.
Yeah. Probably.