It's been a few days since the diner incident and it is now thankfully winter break. Winter break is two weeks this year and even though I'm excited that we don't have class for two weeks, I don't know how I'm going to spend it. It's my first Christmas without my parents.
Without any family.
I rang my Aunt yesterday to which she declined. Lucky me. I wanted to ask if I could spend Christmas with her because how sad is it that a teenage girl spends Christmas alone at her school. Well, get used to it because that is going to be the reality. Sage and Mason are going home for Christmas, Elijah went weird when I asked what he was doing but I just left it and assume he is going home. He never talks about his family so I have zero clue.
Today is the day that everyone leaves campus if they are going home, I said goodbye to Sage earlier and I'm now on my way to the apartment. I don't care if Kayden is home, it's not going to stop me from saying bye to my friends. I knock lightly on the door as it is tugged open by Elijah, he stands there in just a pair of sweatpants, not airport attire.
"Hey, have you got a late flight or..." I trail off towards the end. He opens the door wider for me to step in before shutting it behind us.
"I don't have any family" he tells me. I look at him with a sad look as he turns around, dismissing me. If there is one thing I have learnt since meeting Elijah is that family is an extremely touchy subject. These boys need to communicate with me. Swear to God.
"What are you doing here?" I hear Mason's cheeky voice from behind me.
"Saying goodbye obviously" I grin at him as he pulls me in for a hug, he pats my head before releasing me.
"I've got to get to the airport before I miss my flight" he says as he wheels his luggage out of the door and leaves. I inwardly groan and decide to do something I've been dreading. It's Christmas. Everyone should be happy at this time. No drama. I walk down the hall and knock on his door, my palms sweating. It swings open and reveals a tired-looking Kayden.
"Merry Christmas" I say, giving him a small smile. He stares at me as if I had just grown a second head "Well, have a good break" I tell him, pointing to the luggage behind the bed. Again, no answer. I take that as my sign to leave so I turn around and head to Elijah's door.
"I'm sorry" Kayden's voice says from behind me "Merry Christmas Faith" he says before leaving the apartment. Wow. Mic drop. I continue my trek to Elijah's room with a large smile on my face. I walk in without knocking and see him lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
"So, are you staying here with me for the next two weeks?" I ask almost excitedly. I wouldn't mind spending Christmas with Elijah. He is basically my family.
"I guess" he groans and I jump on top of him, squishing him into the mattress. I get up after acting like a puppy and lie next to him.
"Everyone on campus has left" I tell him to which he nods. We sit in silence for a while, admiring the cracked ceiling.
"My dad abused me" he randomly says as I sit up "and my mom said I was a mistake" Oh.
"I'm so sorry" I mumble in shock, I grab his hand before he moves it and I hold it in my lap.
"I went to live with my Grandad, he eventually sent me here when he was dying and I haven't seen my parents since I was 9. They are both alive and love my siblings, but not me" he almost whispers to me as if he was about to break. Poor E. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and hold him in a tight hug for a while "I have no family, we are the same" he mumbles into my hair.
"We can be each other's family" I pull back and playfully squeeze his cheek "I'm going to stay here whilst we are on break, we are doing something fun every day"
And we did.
***
We are a week into winter break and we have been Rock climbing, Sky diving, outdoor movies, shopping at midnight, go-karting. It's been the most fun I've had in a long time. Elijah has relaxed more and told me more about his family, my heart breaks for him. Even though they are alive, they hate their child and that is something I could never relate to.
Today is Christmas Day, we went to the mall yesterday and bought Christmas decorations, food and presents. We put a mini tree up in the living room and decorated it whilst Christmas music played. It was beautiful. I had just woken up and it was 8:23 am. Elijah definitely would not be awake so I took the opportunity to make us some pancakes. I wouldn't say I'm the best cook but I'm close enough. After three batches of mixture, they were finally ready to eat.
I opened his bedroom door and he lay fast asleep. He's going to kill me.
"Merry Christmas" I shout as I jump up and down on his bed. He slowly sits up, groaning very dramatically "I made us pancakes" I say whilst jumping off the bed, his eyes lit up and he soon was in the kitchen putting honey on his food. I'm more of a Nutella on pancakes kind of gal but I can tolerate it.
After he shovelled his pancakes down, we sat on the couch and decided to watch a Christmas film. Shock, I know. All we do is watch films. I quietly grabbed his present and put it on his lap before he realised. He looked down and then back up to me.
"Surprise" I chuckle "Merry Christmas" He looks at me suspiciously as he begins to tear open the paper. He pulls the wrapping off and it reveals a large box, he pulls the lid off and moves the tissue paper out of the way. A real leather jacket is folded inside, his eyes gleam as he turns it round where red letters spell out 'Cassidy' his last name. I'm not going to lie, it definitely destroyed my back account but it was 100% worth it to see this reaction.
"Faith" he breathes out and looks at me, a twinkle in his eye.
"Try it on!" I yell at him. He slides the jacket over his black pj shirt and it fits perfectly. Wow. He looks handsome. I feel like a proud mom. I clap my hands in excitement "look in the pocket" I point to the small opening. He reaches in and pulls out a small box, he opens it up and gets the black guitar pick out. It matches his jacket with his name engraved on the back of it. I don't actually know if he plays but I've seen a guitar sat in the corner of his bedroom, I hope he does because I'm sure it would sound beautiful.
"Thank you so much Faith" he gives me a genuine smile, pulling me into a hug "this means a lot. I got you something too" he pulls away and goes into his room, soon returning with a large gift bag. He passes it to me and I throw the tissue paper onto the floor, pulling the items from the bag. Four large hoodies. This boy. He has my heart "I didn't have a lot of money so I donated you my hoodies"
"Thank you. I love them" I chuckle and give him another hug. He is so thoughtful. Bless his soul. I pull one of them on and snuggle into it.
By the time we finished two films, it was time for dinner, Christmas Dinner. My favourite thing other than hoodies. I had started cooking the food earlier so all we had to do was serve it up, I went into the kitchen and split the food, piles on our plates, I placed the plate in front of Elijah and he began to dig in. I poured us both some whiskey and began to eat.
For the rest of the day, we went on a walk around the empty campus and continued watching more films. It was now 8 pm and we were on the roof top, snuggled in layers of clothes. The sight of Los Angeles on Christmas Day is beautiful, it feels so much better, the lights to much brighter. We watch the view as I pull out a blunt and light it, Elijah knows about my addictions, he doesn't judge, plus I've been smoking and drinking less regularly. I feel like he understands me. Ugh, I love my best friend.
"When is Sage coming back?" Elijah questions as he takes a hit of the blunt. Why does he want to know? Weird.
"Next week, I think she's missing a day of class" I tell him "why?"
"Just wondering, Mason is back in a few days and Kayden will be back whenever he wants" he shrugs.
"Are you getting bored of my company already?" I ask with a fake gasp.
"Yes, finally you get the hint" he sighs and smirks at me.
"Well, I seriously had the best Christmas with you" I smile at him.
"Me too, my first Christmas with you was more than I could have ever expected, thank you" Elijah grins.
***
After finishing off a few more blunts, my body was numb from the cold and the drugs so we went back to the apartment. Elijah put on his favourite Christmas film as I casually watched it whilst reading my book. Considering this was my first Christmas without family, I feel good, Elijah has made me feel good. My aunt still hasn't rung me which to be honest made me feel shit. I understood and almost accepted the fact that she couldn't handle me anymore but I still thought that we would be in contact and she would maybe visit me, even ask me how I was doing, just check in on me. For all she knows I'm lying dead in a ditch somewhere. On that thought, I'm going to go call her again.
I stand up front he sofa and indicate to my phone, Elijah knows what I mean. Who else would I be calling? I go into one of the unused bedrooms and unlock my phone. With shaking hands, I dial the number and wait. I wait, and wait, listening to the several rings. When the voicemail sounds from the other end, I feel a sense of disappointment yet relief flood me. What would I say? Would it be awkward? I let the beep ring through and leave a message.
"Hi, um. It's me Faith, I've called you a couple of times but you obviously haven't answered, um. I miss you, I miss my family, I miss feeling loved by them, I know you don't want me around but you are my aunt, my only piece of family I have left. I-" I stutter
"Hello? Who is it?" The snappy sound of my Aunt's voice says. My heart warms with the fact that she answered.
"It's me, Faith" I smile.
"Faith?" She questions, confused. What? Who else would it be?
"Faith Campbell, your niece?" I almost ask her, does she not remember me?
"You murdered my family!" She yells down the phone. What? My smile drops into a frown as the memories flood back. The memories I haven't thought of for a while.
"N-" I get cut off.
"Leave me alone. You are no family. You are dead to me" she says through gritted teeth soon followed by the beep indicating the phone call had ended.
I drop my phone to the ground in shock. What? Does she really still think that? Has she always thought that and just was waiting to get rid of me? I feel the tears pushing there way out of my eyes and down my cheeks, they pick up the pace as I sit down onto the wooden floor. I'm a mess. A murderer.
"Faith, are you on the phone?" Elijah shouts down the hall, I immediately wipe the tears and clear my throat.
"Yeah, I'll be out soon" I squeak out, my voice slightly cracking towards the end. I hope he didn't hear that.
"Okay, but I think Kayden is coming back soon" he almost warns me. Kayden. Fuck. Are we on good terms? I mean he said 'sorry' and walked out. Does that mean we are? But I never got to answer him which probably would've caused another argument. Do I talk to him or do I leave? No. He told me to leave him alone, that's what I'm doing.
"Oh okay, I'll head out then" I shout back. I get up from the floor and take a deep breath, trying to compose myself. I walk into the living room and see Elijah sat where I left him, a large suitcase by the door. Where's he going?
"Kayden has just gone to get his other bags" he says, too engrossed in the film. Kayden's back? Oh shit. What do I do? Run. I'm leaving.
"I'll see y-" I start, opening the front door and turning to go, running into a large chest. I look up to see Kayden in a pair of grey sweatpants and a black hoodie, he has another case in his hand and a duffle bag. His hair has grown out a little since his last haircut and I'd be lying if I said he didn't look hot, his face however shows something else. A mix of happiness one moment and then sadness the next, what the fuck happened? Maybe he's just happy to be home but sad to leave his family. I mean he did tell me that he rarely sees his siblings because they are at college.
"Oh, hi" Kayden says looking at me in my pink sweatpants and grey sweatshirt. Ew. I look gross but in my defence, I wasn't expecting to see anyone other than Elijah today.
"Hi" I say back, giving a tight smile.
"Can we talk?" He asks, looking exhausted.
"Um well I was ju-" I stutter, about to make up an excuse.
"Please" he almost begs me. Jeez. Now I feel bad. Can he not sound so sad? I nod my head and he looks somewhat relieved. We walk inside the apartment and he goes up to Elijah who gives him a hug and whispers a few things into his ear, he grabs his cases and walks down the hall. He motions with his head for me to follow so I do as asked and go into his room. I drop onto his bed, letting out a deep sigh. He opens up his cases and begins to unpack a few things, he throws hundreds of hoodies and sweatpants into his closet and his underwear into the washing basket after he empties them both, I grab the basket and take it to the laundry room. I'm a good person, I think. Or am I? I'm a murderer.
I empty the basket into the washing machine and turn it on, he will probably want most of these clothes by tomorrow so I might as well turn the machine on so it will be ready for him as soon as possible. I clean up after myself and turn the light of, shutting the door behind me. Housewife much. I go back into his room and see him sat on the edge of his bed, looking at his phone screen. He immediately snaps his head up once hearing my entrance and slips his phone into the pocket on his sweatpants.
"I put your washing in the machine and turned it on" I inform him, fumbling with the sleeves of my sweatshirt.
"Thank you" he says.
"It's okay, should I?" I mumble, pointing at the exit behind me, wandering if I should leave him to it.
"No. Let's talk" he says firmly. Ok.
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