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I never understood
How someone could Pour their entire soul and heart Into someone
Without wanting anything in return.
But now I do.
I understand now.
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Weeks had passed by, but it was some of the most slow-burning horrendous weeks any students had experienced at Hogwarts.
Umbridge had found some new rules at Hogwarts, and none of us were excited about it, to say the least.
She had also tried to fire and banish Professor Trelawney from Hogwarts since she "didn't meet up to her standards"
Fortunately, Dumbledore was still in charge and quickly shot the whole idea down.
She had also replaced Dumbledore as the head of Hogwarts it felt like, meaning her rules were about to change the whole school.
"Any Student Found In Possession Of Sweets From Unauthorized Suppliers Will Be Expelled"
"Wands To Be Confiscated From Students Casting Recreational Spells. All Magical Objects To Be Held By High Inquisitor Until Further Notice"
"Any Literature By Non-Wizards Or Half Breeds Is Banned Forthwith"
These were some of the brain-dead rules the middle-aged woman had created.
I was looking at the wall with all the rules, when I felt a tall figure approach me, standing quietly beside me.
"Boys & Girls Are Not Permitted To Be Within 6 Inches Of Each Other" how on earth will we ever handle that?" His voice asked sarcastically.
I turned around and met eyes with Draco. He had a playful smirk on his lips, and his hair was hanging lazily on his forehead.
Ever since he admitted he cared about me things had changed. We were completely on first-name basis now, and Draco had become a lot softer over the past few weeks.
We weren't a couple, but from the outside, it definitely seemed like it.
Harry wasn't pleased, of course, in fact, he hadn't really talked to me at all since the dating rumors started.
"That's a tough one" I mumbled, feeling a mischievous smirk form on my lips.
Draco stepped closer to me, wrapping his strong hands around my waist.
His crotch was pressed against mine, and we definitely weren't 6 inches apart.
He connected his lips with mine, letting our tongues dance in sync.
I grabbed his hair, lightly tugging at the platinum strands, making him groan quietly into the kiss.
Suddenly something pulled us apart with force. I looked around the corridor confusedly, until I met eyes with Umbridge.
She had a sickly sweet smile on her lips, and small hums could be heard from her.
"Mrs. Potter, we all know you're a liar, but first today did I find out you were also a slag" she hummed.
My eyes widened at her comment, and so did Draco's.
"What the fuck did you just call me!?" I yelled angrily, making a few students turn around in curiosity.
"Well, you must understand that school is not a place for your sexual activity, especially not dressed like that," he said calmly, eyeing me up and down.
I was wearing a floral skirt and a black tank top, nothing revealing, nothing inappropriate.
"Don't talk to her like that!" Draco yelled angrily, soon finding his spot beside me again.
A crowd of students was forming around us, including my brother and his friends.
I spotted Pansy in the crowd, her mouth was wide open as she looked between Draco and me, and then Umbridge.
"Sorry, Mr. Malfoy, but seeing as you actually didn't do anything wrong, I wouldn't have you be a part of this conversation" Umbridge hummed, clearly favoring the boy.
"That's so misogynistic! He was as much a part of this as I was!" I yelled, trying my hardest to contain my temper.
Umbridge didn't respond to my comeback, instead, she told me I had detention in her office, again.
"No! She's not going back to detention!" Draco yelled, his aura fuming with rage.
I don't think I had ever seen Draco this angry, though it comforted me that he was on my side.
"I don't think that's your choice" was the last thing Umbridge said before walking away.
I stood in silence for a moment, trying to comprehend what had just happened.
The crowd that was swarming us slowly started to clear up, all that was left now were out friends, and my brother.
I ran my hand harshly through my hair, feeling my whole world crumble.
I couldn't believe what had just happened, what she had called me.
"Hey," Draco said softly as he stroked my arm, trying to comfort me.
I felt myself slowly wrapping my arms around him, pulling him into a hug.
I didn't care what people thought, all that mattered to me was that I and the people I cared about, were happy.
-
~
Dear Sirius,
I miss you so much. Everything is different back at Hogwarts.
I don't want to be here anymore, everything is so confusing.
I feel so empty inside after last year, I still wake up every night from nightmares.
Umbridge is a living hell.
She called me a slag the other day.
Truth is, I'm scared she's right.
I'm scared that all she says is right.
Draco and I aren't in a relationship, and it's probably stupid we do the things we do, but I care for him.
It's like we can't stay away from each other, and the truth is, I don't want to.
I can't get out of bed, I don't have any motivation.
I feel so useless.
Everyone has their own thing going on, and all I do is causing trouble.
My telekinesis has been acting up lately, and it's so exhausting.
I don't know what to do to keep it under control.
I don't know why I'm telling you this, I guess I just want you to be on my side. You're like a father to me, you know?
I hope you're on my side.
I hope to see you soon, Sirius.
I love you.
Elaine.
~
I finished the letter late at night, hoping it would give me some clarity or closure.
I was at the lake, the autumn air laying a cold fog all around me.
All I said in the letter was true.
I did feel useless, I felt like I was a burden.
I talked to Molly about it in the summer, she told me it was probably just a depressive episode.
I thought it would get better as time went on, but the truth is it just got worse.
My thoughts were interrupted by two tall redheads, also known as the Weasley twins.
"Why are you sitting here in the dark?" George started.
"Waiting for a blonde lover maybe?" Fred finished.
I couldn't help but smirk at their remark, they always had a way of cheering people up.
"No, I was writing a letter to Sirius. I don't know what I'm doing" I sighed, the cheerful atmosphere suddenly turning dark and gloomy again.
They sat down beside me, Fred on my left, George on my right.
"Why don't you tell us what's on your mind?" Fred asked, gently nudging me on the shoulder.
I ran my hand through my hair, contemplating if I should tell them.
"It's just, Umbridge is taking a hard toll on me, and everything is just so confusing. I mean, I don't know if I'm making a mistake with Draco, it's not like we love each other, or are in love. I wouldn't even say we're close, which is maybe why it's a bad idea. I feel so god damn useless" I rambled on, earning a chuckle from the twins.
My brows furrowed at their laugh, confused as to what was funny about my problems.
"First of all, we're gonna figure out what to do with Umbridge. I'm sure your brother already has something up his sleeve." They started.
"And, sometimes it's not the butterflies that tell you you're in love, but the pain" they finished.
This time I was the one who was laughing.
"I'm not in love!" I exclaimed.
The twins looked at each other suspiciously, then at me.
"If you say so. But just know, you aren't doing this for anyone. Remember that" was the last thing they said before they went back to the castle.
Maybe they were right.
-
I was sitting in the common room, trying to warm up from the fire.
I was all alone in the big dark room, making me feel so incredibly small.
Suddenly the fire roared more loudly than before, and a face could be seen in the burning fireplace.
"Sirius? What are you doing here!?" I exclaimed excitedly, wishing I could hug him without getting burned.
"Answering your letter of course" he chuckled.
I smiled at the fire, probably looking like a lunatic from the outside.
"I heard Umbridge was bothering you?" He asked.
I nodded in response, rolling my eyes at the thought of her.
"We're not allowed to use magic! They're not gonna teach us how to fight back!" I exclaimed, frustration lingering in my voice.
"That doesn't surprise me, you see, the latest intelligence says that fudge doesn't want you training in combat" he stated.
I furrowed my eyes in confusion.
"Combat? What does he think, we're forming some sort of wizard army?" I asked sarcastically, not expecting Sirius to agree.
"That's exactly what he thinks. That Dumbledore is assembling his own forces to take on the ministry." He answered, making my mouth open.
"I don't understand. I thought you said Dumbledore was the bad guy?" I asked, remembering what he said in third year.
"He was, or so I thought. I held a grudge against him for what he did to you, only to find out quite recently that he did what he thought was the best to protect you, still doesn't mean I have to like him. But for now, it looks like you're on your own." Sirius said truthfully. My head was spinning from all the information I had, not knowing who to believe anymore.
"Now, I know this is a lot to take in, but I do want to talk to you about something before I have to go," Sirius said, making my ears perk in interest.
"I heard you had boy trouble" he teased, making my normally pale face glow a dark red.
"Sirius" I groaned, hiding my face in my hands.
"No, this is important" he hurried.
I looked at the roaring fireplace again, waiting for him to go on.
"If two people can't stay away from each other, maybe they aren't meant to be apart," he said.
I took his words in, really thinking about what he had said.
I wanted to talk more to him, but knowing the fireplace was in the common room, it was way too risky.
We said our goodbyes with a sad smile as I flopped down on the black leather couch.
So much had just happened in under 5 minutes, it felt like my head was going to explode.
I knew that so much of what he said was important, but how come all I could think about was Draco?
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