A/N: Mature content. 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
"Eleanor Grace Harrison!!" My Dad's voice roared out the front of the bar's entrance. Under the bright glow from the neon sign overhead, his light brown eyes were darker and narrowed into thin slits. He pointed one index finger at me. "You are acting like a complete child! Stomping away, screaming -"
"Surprised you even noticed, since Jake's here," I retorted as bitterness crept into my voice. At his wide-eyed look, I emphasized, "You wouldn't have even visited had he not played here."
I hadn't even gotten a full breath of the cool, crisp late-fall air when Dad stormed out of the bar behind me like an enraged bull. At this moment, I stood a breath's distance away from the reason that Jake's anger issues and my previous tendency where I overreacted irrationally in certain circumstances, most of which involved Logan when we first met.
And if you treat me like a child, don't be surprised if I act like one.
"Ellie, that's not -" Dad started when a hardened glare from me silenced him momentarily. "We've - I've always been proud of you."
His words fell on completely deaf ears since none of me believed him.
"Oh come on! You've always favored him, always," my words and sharp tone cut through the air space between us and he gnashed his teeth in response. "Nothing I did ever mattered enough, not school, not picking myself up again on my own, I just -"
A stark, painful realization closed my throat on itself and cut off my words.
All I've wanted from him, the only thing I've ever craved, was his approval... That he looks at me with the same pride in his eyes as he does Jake.
A subsequent thought sobered me into reality.
I might want that, but I don't need his hateful bullshit in my life.
"Wuh-what did you say?" the faint whisper that left Dad's lips, along with the way his face shifted from flushed red to pale and both his eyes and mouth parted wide open, showed I hadn't voiced those thoughts only in my head.
The physical statue-like reaction I presented sharply contrasted the storm of emotions that raged inside me. My blood pulsed in my veins, my silent screams of inadequacy wracked through my mind and toiled with my emotions until all my frustration, anger, and residual irritation festered into a giant knot in my chest. My skin tingled until the hairs on the back of m y neck raised.
As my attention drew inward, my external reactions barely registered. I hadn't realized I'd raised my hands, let alone knotted two fistfuls of hair until stings pinched my scalp. Only the way my tongue dried drew my attention to the fact my mouth had dropped open. Now that I'd thrown the words out in the open, I couldn't have taken them back had I regretted them.
My shoulders drew down, spine stiffened, hands balled at my sides, and chin lifted, I stared my father straight in the eyes. "You heard me. You're judgmental, angry, and just... exhausting. Sometimes I think if I'm better off without you in my life!"
"Ellie..." he gasped out my name as his eyes shone over with tears. The sight of them tore into my chest but I'd gone too far down this road, entrenched myself too deep in repressed anger, displaced resentment, and whatever the hell description fit 'I'm just done,' that I only had one option.
"No Dad!" I clenched my fists so tightly that my nails, which I'd chewed down to stubs during the game, still pressed into my palms. Short, sharp pants of hot air exited me with my last words, "I don't even care if you drop dead at this point!"
After my own dismissive hand wave, I walked away. While my words settled into the back of my brain, a numbness of guilt grew and settled in my stomach but I bit in the inside of my cheek and ignored it.
Stick a fork in me... I'm done.
Streams of tears down my cheeks and heavy footsteps behind me were my only company while I trudged back to the apartment building. Since I left, my phone hadn't stopped buzzing with notification after notification and I ignored every one of them. By the time I stepped onto a sidewalk curb the next street over, my thoughts distracted me so much that I stumbled a few steps but pushed forwards.
He'll never trust me. Or Logan.
I hate him sometimes.
I knew Dad most likely returned to the restaurant with Mom and possibly Jake, after which Logan had followed behind me. With our height difference, he only needed half a block before he caught up but to his credit, Logan walked a couple steps behind me. I respected him for the space, particularly when I wiped my cheeks at the sight of the usual reporters and film crowd outside our apartment building.
Probably best we don't have our own post-game scene.
"Ellie..." Logan finally spoke up once our feet pounded on the stairs up to our apartment. Warmth enveloped my hand while he walked me down the hallway and opened the door for me. "I'm sorry."
"You're the last person who should be," I grumbled, flicked on the living room lights, and blinked against the adjustment.
"I am though," he replied in a quiet but firm voice. After he locked the door behind him and tossed his keys on the dining room table, his other hand squeezed mine and turned me towards him. "I'm sorry for what I said to your Dad."
My jaw nearly hit the floor and I stared at him until my eyes pricked with dryness. "You... spoke to him?"
"Briefly." His gaze softened and guilt spread a tint of gray over his eyes. He released my hands, led me to the sofa, then took them again once we sat and faced each other.
After a hard swallow, Logan's eyes lifted to mine and he admitted, "I told him he's acting like my Dad, selfish. That I've never seen anyone who no one works harder than you and how much I respect that. How I'm lucky to be with you again, getting a second chance."
"Logan..." I gasped his voice and my mouth hung open.
Of all the words Logan could've said, he was kind and level-headed. After my quick-fired outburst, the horrible things I'd hurled at Dad that I already knew I hadn't truly meant them, Logan armed himself with...
Love. Compassion. Understanding.
A lump overtook my throat, but I pushed through it and croaked out, "After I what I did to you -"
"Wasn't you," he cut me off with a soft, near wistful smile. "It was the circumstances. Last time we were together I blew it, let myself get pushed aside while you were suffocating, but not this time." His arms enclosed around me tightly and hugged me close into his chest, where his heart thumped quickly through the soft, thin fabric of his dress shirt.
Logan pressed a soft kiss onto the top of my head, tightened his hold on me, and mumbled, "I'm not letting you go this time, Ellie. I can't promise nothing will happen but if you fall this time, then I'm falling too."
"Logan..." I whimpered as a fresh round of tears beaded up over my eyes. Humility washed over me as they trailed down my cheeks and dotted into Logan's dress shirt.
At that moment, all I wanted was that I returned Logan's beautiful words with ones of my own, reassured him that this time we faced everything together, and I was lucky to be his source of strength whenever he needed. My mouth dried, my tongue felt three times bigger, and my throat squeezed off my words, so I just held him tightly like my lifeline.
Because he is, really.
"Hey." His hands cupped my jaw, gently pulled me off his chest, leaned over, and brushed his lips against the corners of my eyes. My lashes clumped and fluttered at the contact, internally I melted into how he kissed away my tears, and my lips quivered. "I'm here, Ellie."
If I'd thought Logan had turned me into Ellie goo in the previous moment, I was an absolute floor puddle at those words. Appreciation swelled in my heart at how he hadn't said, 'It's okay,' because frankly, the situation between Dad and I wasn't okay and at this point, I felt like it might never be okay.
After a few horribly congested sniffles and tear wipes with my hands, I took one more ragged breath, slipped off Logan's lap, then wrapped my hands around his. After a gentle tug, he obliged and stood up, a sparkle of curiosity in his eyes.
"Can't promise I'm not still pissed off and would unfairly project some frustration on you," I called over my shoulder, dropped one of his hands, and led him into the bedroom. "But at least let me show you some... appreciation."
Logan's feet stopped abruptly right outside the bedroom door. "Are you sure?" he blurted out quickly. "I mean, your infection and the birth control -"
"You bought new condoms, right?" My eyes shifted to his top drawer, then back to his and he nodded. "If you don't want to, then -"
"Stop that thought right there," he warned me, stepped close enough that his hips pressed into mine, proved he definitely wanted more than what we'd done in his truck, and wrapped his arms around me. "My turn though, not yours."
With one of Logan's hands tangled around my hair and the other anchored on my lower back, I lifted my chin and pushed my unspoken words into the kiss he pressed into my lips. He only kissed me once, softly and sweetly, before his lips traveled over my cheek and ran a line of goosebumps down the side of my neck.
"I'm here too, baby... And here, here, ...and here." A moan vibrated my throat and relaxed my shoulders as Logan nibbled gently on my skin, then softly edged the shell of my ear a few times with his tongue. My internal body temperature cranked up under the slow, deliberate movements he intertwined with each word of reassurance.
One of his hands trailed gently down the curve of my shoulder, circled around the small divot at the base of my neck, skimmed a gentle centerline of friction between my breasts that I shivered against, and lowered past my navel. His lips returned to mine and, with one gentle nudge of his tongue across my lower lip, swallowed the soft whimper that erupted when his hand palmed my core area outside my pants.
"I need to be here."
"Well." My stomach coiled with heat and my core area thumped in protest against the urge I grinded into his hand, but I only dragged my eyes up his polished, dressed up appearance from under my lashes. "Get in there then."
"Slowly," he emphasized with a hand squeeze that pulsed my core area with dull throbs. My only response was a ragged breath and borderline needy kiss that I pressed tightly against his mouth.
I reached both hands up and weaved them through his short, soft hair and released a groan that vibrated both our lips with just one gentle tug. My insistence with how hard I stroked my tongue against his broke through his patience, as two large hands gripped my ass and tugged me against the hard length that tested his resolve as much as me.
A slight tug on the hem of my jersey, white and purple number ten of course, detached my lips. A slight friction rubbed across my chest tickled my nipples, which I already knew were peaked and ready at attention.
"Keep this on," Logan murmured before he stepped back, removed his shoes, and his sports coat. From my perspective, I wasn't sure if the pink in his cheeks was from how warm he complained the post-game suit made him, or caused by our heated kisses.
Logan never blushes but there's no way I'm asking if he's hot.
"What?" His eyes latched onto mine and the corners of his lips turned upwards.
A light touch brought my fingertips into my cheeks, which were definitely flushed with warmth. "You're cute when you blush, that's all."
"I don't blush." Logan rolled his eyes, removed his tie, and kicked off his shoes. With one slight tilt of my head, he clarified, "Easily."
Once a small air puff sounded from when my back finally hit the soft comforter, I sprawled out and pushed my palms. The view of Logan's large form, which dwarfed mine in pretty much all dimensions, loomed over me. My fingers moved on their own and detached his shirt buttons, one at a time and definitely brushed over the skin in between.
Despite the slight tremors from my teasing fingers, Logan's hand made equal work against my jeans, slid them down my thighs and calves, then tossed them aside. Right when my fingers worked the last shirt button free, my palms splayed over the very warm but soft skin stretched over the hard muscles in his chest, he sat upright and pulled off his shirt.
With a quick movement from his knee, Logan lowered down between my legs and surprised me when his mouth placed a gentle kiss on the outside of my underwear. I mentally thanked myself for how I'd chosen a thin lace option that gave practically no barrier from the heat of his mouth.
His index fingers crooked inside the corners of my underwear at my hip and before my brain registered the movement, he yanked them down and licked one long, slow vertical stripe right up my center seam. The warm, wet textured sensations ruptured the sensitive nerves, but before I even gasped, his mouth sealed over me.
Blackness surrounded me as I lazily slid my eyes closed and trembled under the sensations Logan's mouth gave me. We'd done this so many times he probably knew my core area better than I did and demonstrated that knowledge with the tender way he rolled one side of my clit into his mouth, gently grazed the sensitive skin with his teeth, and massaged it with his tongue.
My lower back flinched off the bed and my fists grabbed into the sheets under his ministrations. Heat and angst coiled inside at his contact point right when his mouth detached, but he deftly slipped one, then two of his fingers inside before his mouth sucked in the other side of my clit.
Logan pointed right to the tender spot along my front wall, slightly off to the left where he knew it was located and I almost came undone from the first touch.
"Again," I groaned quietly and shifted my hips downward, which brushed his nose gently into my hood. His fingers curled and pressed, curled and pressed until I writhed uncontrollably, a mix of soft pants and gasps alternated around the soft squelches of arousal that I no doubt coated over every part of him that touched me.
I clenched my stomach tightly and bucked my hips against one hard suck from Logan's mouth. The coiled tension sprung released, my lungs burned for oxygen, my teeth clenched until a dull ache pulsed in my jaw, and I groaned quietly. My inner walls tensed and throbbed around his fingers before they compressed down. Once the orgasm subsided, my hands released the sheets and I fluttered my eyes open, right at the moment his looked up at me full of a mix of pride and humility.
While I laid on the bed, my limbs weakly sprawled out and chest heaved like roadkill that gasped it's last breath, Logan's soft chuckles barely registered past the blood that rushed in my ears. The bed dipped slightly and cold air hit my core area when he withdrew, but he returned quickly, completely naked and a condom already fully sheathed over the erection that curved upwards towards his navel.
Yes.
After a few shuffled movements, Logan slipped right inside me. He moved slowly, inch by inch, until I was filled. More than my sex area felt filled, the cracks in my heart, the reopened wounds I'd sealed with a band-aid of indifference felt sealed and secured, and I wrapped my warms around his waist until I couldn't have held him closer if I'd tried.
Without a single word, Logan sensed what I needed, and rolled slow and gentle strokes deep inside me. My knees fell open, I hooked my feet behind his lower back, lowered my hands, and clutched my shins until I fully opened myself to him. The deeper penetration slipped him right into my inner walls and each stroke, each unspoken 'more' from how my feet clenched him closer, released a groan from both of us.
"Ellie, you feel so good," he murmured vibrations into the side of my neck and the warmth from his forehead pressed into my damp skin. "I'm here. I love you Ellie."
Once I repeated I loved him, Logan pulled slightly back and offered the kindest, most tender smile. A different sourced set of tears formed in my eyes, blurred the view of his handsome facial features, the soft dark blonde stubble across his narrow chin and thin lips that framed that beautiful smile.
Only the radiant ocean-blue of Logan's eyes was discernible, even how they grayed with concern, and my lips trembled with my whisper-begged, "Don't stop. Please... don't stop."
Logan never wavered, both in his movements and the tender words that left his lips, even after he finished in the condom, then scooped me up and gently sat me on the bathroom toilet. I must've given him the most confused look, but he only gently palmed the top of my head and I rested my cheek against the warmth of his outer thigh.
Logan repeated the same phrases in a soft, almost like baritone music, until his arms wrapped me close against him in bed. Both my ears and heart drank in every word until I felt so full I wanted to burst out of my own skin.
I'm here.
I love you Ellie.
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Q: If you had to choose only one for 2 weeks straight, would you read or write?
A: Write. If I read for 2 weeks and couldn't write then my brain would explode.